Phil George explains in this video that the happiness and contentment for a wife is to be found in God alone. It is important for a wife to understand that she cannot change the heart of her husband. A husband's heart will not be changed by the mere words of a wife. It is important for her to remember that God is all-powerful and sovereign.

Proverbs 19:21 (NKJV) - "There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand."

What I would say to a wife whose husband is not leading is to first not focus upon your husband's leading as the root of your happiness and contentment. Your happiness and contentment needs to be found in Christ and the gospel alone. And then I would move on to explain to help her to remember that she's not the one that could make that change within her husband. What she's dependent upon is the Holy Spirit to come, and if her husband's an unbeliever, to do that work of regeneration within his heart. And if her husband is a believer and he's just not being obedient to what the Word says, then it is her conduct that is where the focus needs to be.

So often, wives are tempted to seek to win their husbands with their words, and that's why Peter, in 1 Peter tells wives that when their husbands don't obey the word, that their husband is to be won by their conduct, by their respectful and pure conduct. And so, wives need to remember that it's not where their words, where their focus needs to be. It's not that if the Lord opens a door to share gospel truth with an unbelieving husband or to be able to share gospel truth with a believing husband that's just failing to believe some of that truth. It's not that you don't walk through that door when it's open, but that shouldn't be where your focus is. Your focus needs to be upon praying for your husband and then also living in a respectful way toward him, having your conduct be pure.

That's the means that the Lord so often uses to soften a husband's heart and to draw a husband to him. And in that I would also remind her to remember God's sovereignty in these things that she's to wait patiently for the Lord and His perfect timing and how He works within those circumstances. And wherever she finds herself, she can trust that God is a sovereign God, and He's using these things for her good and for His glory. So whatever circumstance she finds herself in, it's a difficulty because of her husband's lack of leadership that she can know that God sits sovereignly over that.