Joel Beeke shares in this video that one thing that one thing that they did in their family was to speak well of the church to their children. He didn't want them to grow up with the idea that the church wasn't important or was something to be resented. The same thing can apply to marriage and how you speak to your spouse. Our children are listening and paying attention to how we view and treat both the church and our marriage.

Romans 16:17 (NKJV) - "Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them."

One thing we did right, which I think is very important and many parents miss out on this, we decided very early on that we would only speak well of the church to our children. As a pastor, if there were problems in the church, my children would never hear about it. I didn't want them growing up with a chip on their shoulder against the church. We also tried hard never to bring ourselves into a church versus family mentality where we had to make a choice between one or the other. That's a big deal today for many pastors and they say okay the family's gonna be first and the church is second and they say that to the children.

The children get that in their mind. But we didn't want our children to go down that road. So if something was pressing at the church, more pressing than at home, I went and did it in the church. If something was really pressing at home, I made sure I was there. So, and we never criticized the church, we only spoke well of the church.

And I think many parents later on look back and they say they're sorry, I've had many parents tell me that. They said, now all our children are gone from the church, but we criticize the pastor, or we criticize the elders, or we criticize the church. Don't do that. And the other thing, I guess if there's one area, I mean, I love my wife like crazy, and it's not hard work for me to love my wife. She's very lovable.

So, one area, if I excelled in any area, I excelled in showing my children a lot of affection and love and very loving words to my wife in their presence so that all of them grew up with high expectations of marriage. And I think, you know, getting ready for marriage is something that we need to teach our children but it's actually more caught than taught.