What parents do matters to their kids. A child's future may not be determined by the actions of his or her parents, however a parent's actions, and the patterns at home, will have a profound and life long effect on a child. God calls on Christian parents to use this close connection to train up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. A parent has a uniquely powerful role in shaping and guiding a child, and God intends for that to be used for his glory.

I'd like to speak about the responsibility that parents have to bring their children up in the training and the admonition of the Lord. I'd like you to open your Bibles to what's probably the most famous verse in the Bible on child-raising and that is Proverbs 22 verse 6 Proverbs 22 verse 6 and it reads train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Now we live in a no-fault world. We live in a world where people don't think they have to discipline themselves to do anything anymore. Moses disagrees with that.

He said you shall teach them diligently. And there are particular things that parents must do. If they don't do them the consequences are great. So this passage of scripture brings up that issue. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he's old he will not depart from it.

Another way to say it is you know a tree follows the bent of the wind when it's young and this is the point of the proverb and While this is the most famous child-raising proverb in the Bible, it's probably the most dismissed proverb in the Bible, but it really says this very simple thing. What you do matters. What you do matters. You know, we live in a world where people pretend that what you do doesn't matter. But the Bible speaks to us very differently.

Your children will reap what you sow. That's the point of the proverb. And God has established an order in parenting and in that order He blesses his own ways. If you obey his ways, your children will most likely reap the fruit. There are exceptions, but the general principle of the proverb is this, do not be deceived.

God is not mocked for whatever a man sows, he will also reap. So how should we interpret the proverb? Well if you've studied this proverb, you'll know that there are different interpretations. My view is it means one thing or maybe another thing. First of all, I think we should recognize that this is a proverb.

I'm gonna read an explanation of a proverb so to help us understand how to interpret it. A proverb is a short pithy saying that expresses a wise general truth concerning life. A biblical proverb is a short pithy saying that expresses a wise and general truth concerning life from a divine perspective. Because of the general nature of Proverbs, there is present the possibility of exceptions. The existence of such exceptions in no way refutes the truth of the Proverb.

For what the Proverb says is true in the majority of instances. Thus, the fact that godly parents who train their children in the way they should go, at times have ungodly children, does not refute this proverb. In the great majority of instances, the result is indeed children who desire to follow in the faith of their parents. Now there are a number of interpretive controversies surrounding this verse and the Hebrew phraseology does present legitimate difficulties in interpreting it. And I believe it most likely means one of two things.

First of all, it can mean that it is generally true in life that when you train up a child in the way he should go, according to God's word, according to the way that he ought to go then that child will not depart from God's ways when he is old. And if this is the correct interpretation then believing parents need to be diligent to obey the commands of God in raising their children and if they do it will be a blessing to those children and the result will be that they will walk in the ways of the Lord, they'll walk in the ways that they were taught and when they are old they will still be walking in those good old paths that they were taught. Now a second meaning and I think this is a legitimate meaning. It can mean that if you let a child go his own way, let him do whatever he wants to do and do not restrain him, then when he's old then he'll keep living that way and he'll wreck his life. And if this is the correct interpretation then parents are put on notice that if they're negligent and neglect biblical commands, their children will reap the pain of their negligence.

So those are two legitimate ways to interpret it. But whichever interpretation you want to choose, one thing is really clear. God commands you to bring up your children in particular ways and what you teach and how you live before them will have a lifelong effect on them. And your children's future is profoundly affected by what you do. It matters what you do.

Either way you interpret the proverb, it matters what you do. Now, what you dedicate your children to will have a tremendous impact on the trajectory of their lives. If you let your children go their own way and be their own selfish pigs, then they'll grow up to be their own little selfish pigs. And generally, if you train your children properly the way the Bible commands, God will bless them. And but the emphasis is on what parents do.

And this is a principle that you see working out in lots of different areas. Early patterns shape later patterns. And what Solomon is driving at here is that the things that parents cultivate tend to be the things that they will reap later on. What you do when your children are growing up shapes their later tendencies. And quite simply, the tree bends in the direction of the prevailing winds.

If you, you know, parents should absolutely teach their children the gospel of the grace of Jesus Christ. And then by faith live out the truths of scripture with all your heart. And then, but if you allow selfishness and if you allow dishonor and laziness and unprofitable speech and sibling rivalry and lack of prayer, no observance of the Lord's day, when they're young, when they have set their course, they'll go that same way, maybe for the rest of their lives. In other words, the proverb makes it clear that you are responsible to shape the affections and the attitudes of your children. And what you sow, you will also reap.

I realize that is difficult for all of us because we really would like not to be responsible for outcomes. But I think this proverb makes parents largely, maybe not completely, responsible for outcomes. Now, parents should be managing their expectations. For example, how can you expect to have godly children if you do not obey God's commands. There are specific things that God commands parents to do, and if you do not do them, why would you expect the blessings that come from them?

Your children will reap what you sow, what you sow. They will reap what you sow. That's the thrust of the proverb. It's terrifying, isn't it, frankly? Because no parents sow perfectly.

They don't exist. We all have flaws in our parenting, we there are gaps there are errors, there are besetting sins in our lives that cause us to lapse in our parenting, that's true of every parent. But this proverb makes it very clear that a child's future tends to hang on the teaching that he receives as a child. And you can bank on it. And so the issue is look to yourself.

Parents get quite a bit of blame in the book of Proverbs, by the way. For instance, It's shameful for parents to have lazy children. That's Proverbs 10 five. In other words, the parents should be ashamed of theirselves when they have lazy children. It's the parents that should be ashamed of their lazy children.

In Proverbs 19, 26, it is shameful for parents to have dishonorable children. In other words, the shame of the dishonor falls on the parent. Parents are blamable when they have dishonorable children. Gluttonous children in Proverbs 28 verse seven are a shame to their parents. If you have a gluttonous child, Solomon is saying, shame on you.

Frankly, that's just exactly what he's saying. I'm sorry to report it this way but that's exactly what the Proverbs says. And these parents did not teach their children to be diligent and so they were lazy, they were not honorable, and they were not self-controlled. Perhaps they were parents that did what Proverbs 29, 15 warns against, leaving your children to themselves and letting them do whatever they want, rather than guiding them, walking with them, taking them to the promised land yourself. So Solomon is saying, shame on you parents, you allowed it, look to yourself.

Oh, I know that's just so stinging, isn't it? You know, it stings me. But frankly, we believe this is true anyway, we've seen it. You know, what does nearly everyone in prison have in common? Fatherlessness, that's one thing.

What do the majority of homosexuals and prostitutes have in common? Distant or abusive fathers. In other words, what fathers do really matters. It's the most influential factor for who goes to jail, who drops out of school, who falls into poverty, who abuses drugs, who engages in homosexuality, who becomes a prostitute, and by the way, who commits suicide. It is the fundamental driver, distant disconnected fathers.

It's a real factor. Most of the time the kids who keep the faith had parents who loved the Lord with their whole heart. And they were faithful to the Lord. And they taught them diligently. And they did their best to not exasperate their children, but to care for them and lead them.

In most cases, children who are treated that way end up following the Lord. Of course, not in every case. There will be an Esau born into your family from time to time. But the general principle, the general rule is what you do really matters and if you don't do your duty it matters to the disgrace of that child. Now we often see that young people who keep the faith have just been trained in God's ways by parents who love the Lord.

Here's our error. We often hope for the blessings of God but we forget about the conditions that shape the outcome of that blessing. In some cases of disobedient children, the problem is with the parents. So it means the parents should not expect faithfulness in their children if they don't keep the conditions of what is offered. This proverb is a call for diligence in parents.

Very much like Moses' call when he said, you shall teach them diligently, and you shall walk with them, you shall be with them. This is diligence lived out. And it's a conditional proverb. I think we should recognize that. It is a proverb that gives a general principle, but it's a conditional proverb as well.

And the blessings of the proverb are experienced by those who are diligent to obey the condition. The condition is to train up the child in the way in which he should go. And You know, what you teach your children matters. And how you teach them matters. Because God blesses his own ways.

Now, Don't expect Godly children if you don't obey God's commands. You might get them by God's grace, but don't expect them if you ignore God's grace. His gracious, descriptive instructions for how you ought to raise your children. Now this proverb, it's often dismissed, it's thrown out of court, it dies the death of a thousand qualifications and the reason is because of disappointments and contradictory examples of children who grew up in Christian homes but then they went astray. So we've seen that.

We've all seen that. But not so fast, not so fast. Don't let appearances distract you from the plain language of the Bible. This is the inerrant, wholly sufficient, absolutely pure, authoritative Word of God. And because it disturbs us, is not cause enough for us to just dismiss it and try to qualify it to death.

So we should be very careful not to allow our surface level understandings nullify the very words of God. Appearances are not our authorities. Examples are not our authorities. Now here's why we should not short-circuit our thinking to the exceptions. Here's one reason.

We don't know the whole story. Here's another reason. We don't know everything about the back story. We should not prejudge what happened to someone else. Third, we don't know what's happening in that child's life at the moment.

Fourth, we don't know what is in God's mind and how he is planning to glorify himself through that child. And finally, we don't know what the, we don't know the future for what God has in mind for that child. We don't know. We should be very reluctant to judge a situation and nullify this conditional proverb because we saw something. It breaks our hearts when children go astray, children who grew up with the word of God, children who seem to be brought up in the training of the Abolition of the Lord.

There's nothing more heartbreaking than that. And We should weep with those who weep without question. But we know nothing of God's timing for any of his creatures, and we should refrain from too much presumption and trust the guiding principles that are communicated here of reaping and sowing. We should accept the responsibility and not write it off because of a story that we heard. These are holy and pure words.

So, Rather than qualify the proverb to death, I want to encourage you to have unwavering confidence in the God who wrote this inspired proverb. And by faith in Jesus Christ, believe it with your whole heart. And don't dismiss it because you know children in Christian families who went astray because you don't know the whole story and guess what You don't know the end of the story either. You don't know. Instead, trust the perfect, pure, inerrant, sufficient, everlasting words of God and recognize the sovereignty of God.

Now, the Bible does not teach that your parenting style will save your children's souls. But you don't have to believe that to believe this proverb. And I want to encourage you to believe this proverb and let it move you to obedience to God. The Bible doesn't care that your children will be saved if you bring them up in the way that they should go But the Bible does promise that if you obey you will have a profound impact on your children and His word will not return void. Okay, Why am I saying all these things?

Let me bring it down to this. I wanted this evening to urge every parent here to examine what they are doing. Are you as careful with obedience to the conditions of this proverb as you are the expectation of the outcome. Do you teach them diligently when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up? Do you instruct them in the way in which they should go?

Do you inspire them by telling them of God's strength and the great things He has done, which is what we learn fathers and mothers ought to do in Psalm 78. Have you filled your home with a sense of the greatness of the love of God? Have you filled your home with a sense of just how sovereign and how good God is. Have you filled your home with the joy of the Lord? Do you walk within your house with a perfect heart?

You know, have you set unclean things before your eyes like David said he would not do? Is the word of God in your heart or are you just going through the motions? When you bring it to your children, is it because you love those words and you're giving them to them because you love them? Are you exasperating your children? Are you praying with your children?

So do not expect to see Proverbs 22 19 to be fulfilled unless you obey the commands that God has given you. And don't forget that what you're doing is not fruitless. God has promised an effect. You know, Paul urges us to believe in the program of God, but also to do our duty. And so he says, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Now Jesus said, if you know these things, blessed are you who do them. So this is the whole question of what kind of environment are you providing for your children. The soil in which your family grows really matters. The condition of the soil matters. You know, I have a wife who's a farmer, she loves cows.

But because she loves cows, she has to love pastures. You can't raise cows unless you first of all prepare your pastures. So she's become an expert in pastures. Because out of the pasture grows the food for these cows that produce the milk and all this kind of thing. There's a French term for this called terroir.

And It's a technical term and it means the totality of the environment of the soil and the water and the air, the temperatures, the total environment determines what kind of crop you'll get. And the term actually comes out of France and those who are making wine because different kinds of wine comes from different kinds of environments. And so this term speaks of the character, well of the chili peppers or the chocolate or the coffee or the wine that comes out of this, these particular regions in France. And the soil, the water, the sun, the whole environment is what determines the unique qualities of the crops. And the environmental factors determine what kind of food ends up on the table.

And I think Solomon is trying to say something like that. That there are different kinds of environments that children grow up in. And it matters what that environment is composed of. And what ends up at the table has been shaped by the totality of the environment of the raising of that child. You know, the Bible compares children to olive plants and suckling babes, you know, they are products of nourishment.

And so my whole desire tonight really was just to ask, are you obeying the commands of the Lord? Have you taken them so seriously to realize that there are conditions? And to ask a difficult question, and that is, are you expecting the conditions to be fulfilled when you haven't been performing the obedience that produces them? So I know it's a very sobering message, but I don't think we should be dismissing Proverbs 22 verse six. And we should ask ourselves, are we doing everything we can?

Here's my admonition for us tonight. Do a careful inventory of the commands for parents and identify any areas of weakness. Search your heart. It really matters what you do. Train up a child in the way he should go.

And when he's old, he will not depart from it. Would you pray with me? Lord, your word is convicting and it's not according to our own inclinations. It pulls us out of ourselves. It takes us into a life that we wouldn't live on our own if we didn't have you to draw us into a better way.

We thank you that you've called every parent into a life of training, training up children in the ways in which they should go. And I pray, Lord, that all of us would have that diligence, that we would fill our homes with the beauties of your word, that our children would know the words of truth that are eternal, the perfect and pure words. Oh Lord, I pray that you would give us such diligence. I pray that you would create communities of holiness and faith in this world where there's so little hope. Lord, we know that the hope for our families is a hope in your word.

So, Lord, I pray that you would fulfill it all in us. Amen.