The parable of the prodigal son is a beautiful picture of the overwhelming grace of God. It provides a powerful image of what it means to be welcomed home by God and finding peace and forgiveness in him. But what can the parable teach us about parenting? The story contains two sons, each can serve as an example of extremes which can be manifested in our own children. On the one hand is the rebellious younger brother who kicks against authority and runs into sin. On the other is the Pharisaical older brother who lifts up his own obedience and thinks he deserves his fair share. A parent's first reaction may be to confront both with the Law, but what each really needs is the gospel of grace.

My assignment this morning is to speak to you about two biblical categories. And these are things we often throw around in Christian circles, but perhaps we have not considered them in depth. And so I want to shape how we think about the law and the gospel. How they relate to each other, what that means to us, especially those who are parents in the way we communicate. And the text that I want to use is Luke chapter 15.

And so I invite you to turn there if you have your copy of God's Word. And it may surprise you to learn that children, often this happens, children growing up in Christian homes are not, listen to what I'm saying, are not taught the gospel. And even when they are taught the gospel, the words and actions of parents may teach an opposite message, driving kids further away from the one message of hope, if that were at all possible. In fact, all children, from the most rebellious to the most obedient, need the exact same thing. And wouldn't it be a tragedy if you failed to give them the one thing that they so desperately need wouldn't it be a tragedy if your children never learned that there was salvation to be found at the throne of grace.

How do we communicate God's law and the gospel to our children, to our grandchildren, to those that we come into contact with and have influence upon? How do you communicate it to yourself? And this message isn't just about parenting. Even though much of my application could be put into that category. I want you to think about the theological framework.

Scott talked about that yesterday. We need to have a framework. That's what this is about, how it affects the way we think. There's a difference, by the way, between frameworks and programs. I'm purposely staying away from providing you a how-to message.

As if children are the exact same things and all you have to do is follow these five parenting steps. I'm not doing that. I think the last thing a Christian parent needs today is another program, and that's one of the reasons why in this message I'm just going to have two short applications toward the end, because the point is the theological framework. God calls you to parent with wisdom, not with five steps or ten steps or however many steps. The application, if you focus on the framework, application comes.

You focus on the application, you've missed the whole point. Now here's my starting argument. Our default setting is not to serve God and love God. Our default setting is self-righteousness. We're not only born into a state of sin, sin is a daily struggle.

Remember, this is what we're called to put to death. Paul in Romans 7, he said, For I know that nothing good dwells in me that is in my flesh, for I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Paul wrote that speaking as a believer. And so this is an issue for all of us.

Now Let me start off by asking a question, a rhetorical question. Please don't raise your hands unless you feel compelled to do so. You know, what is your goal of, as a parent, What is your goal as a parent or as a grandparent? In the mid-1900s, there was a preacher out of Philadelphia. His name was Donald Gray Barnhouse, and Barnhouse said something I believe is extremely profound.

The question, what would things look like if Satan really took control of a city? That's what Barnhouse said. He said all the bars would be closed, pornography banished, and pristine streets would be filled with tidy pedestrians who smiled at each other. There would be no swearing. The children would say yes sir and no ma'am and the churches would be full every Sunday.

Listen, where Christ is not preached. How many of us would have given that answer? And when you consider it, from a parent's perspective, that is a scary quote. Because most of us, as Christian parents, would consider it, we would consider ourselves to be successful if we just had kids that obeyed like the kids in Barnhouse's quote that he says are under the control of Satan. I mean, let's just be honest.

If your child was always obedient, always smiling, whenever you said anything to them it was yes sir, yes ma'am. Their rooms were always immaculate, they showed initiative, they studied hard, I mean show me these kids, right? Who wouldn't want to bring a couple of them home? How do we order them? But here's the point that Barnhouse is making.

The things we usually attribute to godliness may merely be nothing but moralism. Listen, the problem is that we may be happy with good behavior. And while we may not have kids like those in barn houses scenarios, we do have some kids that are easier to parent than some of our others. What I want to look at is Luke chapter 15 and specifically the parable of the prodigal son. Parable of the prodigal son.

Parables, they communicate one specific point. The context of this parable is actually that there's a group of tax collectors and sinners who came to listen to Jesus. And so tax collectors and sinners, they have by default, they're sinners by, you know, by their occupation or whatever they do that you can look upon them as sinful people it would suggest that they are far from God and there's another group the other group consisted of the scribes and and the Pharisees and they saw Jesus teaching this obvious group of sinners and these Pharisees and scribes were just like those in Barnhouse's scenario they you know they're they dress nicely they had great haircuts, really awesome beards. They never swore, they went to church every Sunday, or Saturday in their case. They had the appearance of being close to God.

That's what they look like. They look like men that were close to God, but they were not. They were not. And Jesus, knowing that these Pharisees, knowing what they are thinking, he tells three parables and they go together. You cannot interpret the parable of the prodigal son without reading the other parables.

Three parables. He tells about a shepherd who has a flock of 100 sheep and he loses one and he searches and searches and he finds the lost sheep and then he rejoices and he calls together his family and friends and they rejoice with him. And then he tells of a woman who has 10 silver coins and she loses one and she tears her entire house apart, looking for it, and she finally finds it and she calls her neighbors together and they celebrate with her. And then he tells a parable, commonly referred to as a parable of the prodigal son, and we first saw a parable of a lost sheep, then we saw a parable of a lost coin, now we see a parable of a lost son. And we see the finder of the lost son rejoicing that what was lost is now found.

But along with the finder, others, we would assume to be like the family and friends who would join in the celebration do not join the celebration You're gonna start catching on to how this parable works, but in this parable we see this wonderful father who gives us a picture of what God is like. We're able to see a picture of two sons, not just one, but of two sons, both of whom have hearts that are far from that of their fathers. Now let me let's go to the text Luke chapter 15 beginning in verse 11 let me just read the parable to you. And he said there was a man who had two sons and the younger of them said to his father father give me the share of property that is coming to me and he divided his property between them not many days later the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey to a far country and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country and he began to be in need.

So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country who sent him into his field to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, how many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger? I will arise, go to my father, and I will say to him, father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants." And he arose and he came to his father, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

And the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you I'm no longer worthy to be called your son but the father said to his servants bring quickly the best robe and put it on him and put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet and bring the fat and calf and kill it let us eat and celebrate for this son was dead and is alive again he was lost and is found and they began to celebrate now his older son who was in the field and as he came in drew near to the house he heard music and dancing And he called one of the servants and asked, what these things meant? And he said to him, your brother has come. And your father has killed the fat and calf because he was received him back safe and sound but he was angry and refused to go in his father came and Came out and entreated him, but he answered his father look these many years. I have served you I've never disobeyed your command yet you have never given me a young goat that I might celebrate with my friends.

And when this son of yours, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him? And he said to him, son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.' It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead and is alive. He was lost and is found." And in this parable we see this lost son, this prodigal, he's living in open rebellion against his father. Everything he did, by the way, was amazingly sinful. He asked his father for his inheritance.

While dad is still alive, he leaves his father's home with his portion of his father's estate, diminishing his father's estate immediately. And then while doing so, he turns his back on his family he turns his back on the Covenant people and then he took what his father had earned and he squanders it in sinful living he's reduced to the point of feeding unclean pigs and coveting their slop. His life was far from God. He was a rebel. Now, children come in two extremes.

And this first type we can call a rebel, represented by the prodigal in this parable. They are, let's say, are more difficult children. We see by their rebellion that their hearts are far from God. But here's what's interesting. There's another son mentioned whose heart is also far from that of his father's.

And most of us relate, okay, most of us relate to the older brother. We just kind of naturally agree with the older brothers. We think to ourselves, I'd be kind of upset too. Now understand, again, we're speaking in extremes. Our rebellious kids are not always rebellious.

I recognize that we're speaking in extremes. Extremes help us understand the point better. So along with the prodigal, who by the way, if you remember through Jesus' teaching, who's listening, you have the tax collectors and sinners. Along with the prodigal, the tax collectors and sinners, that's who they represent, we see this, they're the rebellious ones, They're breaking and disobeying God's law. There's another group that's listening that consists of scribes and Pharisees.

They're represented by the older brother. That's the point of the parable. In other words, Jesus is saying, why aren't you celebrating? Like the neighbors and friends that saw the lost sheep coming in, or the lost coin. We have a lost son worth more than the stupid sheep and a mere coin, and you're not celebrating?

Must be something wrong with your heart. That's the point that he's making. And so when you and I read this parable, and we relate to the older brother, what we are implying is that we are pharisaical at heart. Let me just let that sit. By the way, in the previous parables, The Pharisees would have seen this.

They would have recognized that that's the point that is being made. And here are the Pharisees who understand rejoicing over sheep and money, but not over lost people, and yet you and I relate best to those guys. And if you just felt like you just got punched in the gut, you're starting to understand the power of Jesus' parables, what made him such an effective communicator and why everybody wanted to kill him. Now just like we have children that pull towards the rebellious, the difficult children, We have children that are the rule followers. Let's just call outwardly obedient.

And just like we can represent a more rebellious children with the prodigal, we can represent the more obedient child with the older brother, and in other words, we have children that default either towards prodigal or Pharisee. And before you knee-jerk against that, just remember, you know, we here side with the older brother. And so we default kind of towards the Pharisee, right? And so if we have these Pharisaical tendencies as parents, then why would it be a surprise to us that our children default one way or the other? There is a huge problem in our families, and the problem is not that the kids don't get along maybe, or that there's arguing, or kids aren't listening.

The problem is that both parents and children are all sinners and all in need of the same thing. We need someone to come and rescue us. And when we look at this parable, we see that the rebellious son, we understand why he needs to come groveling back to his father. His behavior is terrible. He's obviously sinned very grievously against his father.

He doesn't deserve anything. He has a right to beg to be accepted even as a slave. He certainly has lost any rights that he once had at being a son. And everyone who heard the parable understood and and and that he deserved to be disowned and what a surprise what a shock to see this father that didn't even browbeat him wasn't even stern with him then it wait for him to beg and grovel, but before he could get even a word out, dad sees him from afar, recognizing just his silhouette because that's what he's been searching the horizons for. He gathers up his robes, and in a most humiliating way, he runs toward his son, throws himself upon his neck, kisses him, removes his filth, puts a ring on his finger.

What a beautiful picture of the gospel. We too have sinned grievously against God. We certainly do not deserve to be called sons and while we were far away, the Bible says while we were sinners, Christ died for us. God takes upon himself our filth, our shame. He places it upon his son.

We get what Christ has merited. We wear his robe of righteousness, his ring placed upon our finger. A feast has been prepared for us. That's good news, but I'm jumping ahead. We're shocked.

We are shocked by what the Father here does, And so were the original hearers. Within the ancient Near East culture, this would have been a double shock. This is not what they expected Jesus to say. You see, our default setting is to flee from God. Our default setting is self-righteousness.

We know that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and that there is none righteous, no, not even one, and there's none who seeks after God and so forth. And we don't always make decisions, though, or communicate that truth. And the proof of that is the parable that has us in our hearts, understanding the plight of the older brother who thinks that, well, he deserves something from his father, considering what the younger brother did. You know, I'm better than him. I deserve more from you.

And that's the reason when Jesus tells the parable of the workers who were hired to work a day for a denarius, and you have men that were hired in the sixth hour and then in the ninth hour and then the eleventh hour And then the man pays them all the same That's why we read that and we're like yeah, I think I would be upset. I think I would complain too I don't understand why we're going to pay the same. I've been working harder. I deserve more. You see, that's the point.

Our default setting is self-righteousness. We're basing what we think we merit by what God gives us. Surely I've merited more. We forget the gospel that saves us. We think that our good behavior has merited favor with God.

Is there any hope for Pharisees like us? Absolutely. In fact, in the parable, the father not only runs after his prodigal, rebellious son, he goes to the pharisaical son who is outside the party and the father goes to him and he pleads with him and what a beautiful picture of our God we have these two men running away from God one running from God in his rebellion in his active disobedience and listen one running away from God in his obedience, running away from God in his false piety, in his rule following, the first the prodigal, the second the Pharisee, both living under the same roof, both living under our roofs, and many times both looking us back in the mirror. And This is what normally happens, especially when you have a bunch of little ones running around the home and you're constantly, you know, you're correcting children. Correcting children is a daily task for parents.

Somebody say, amen. Disobedient kids are a squeaky wheel. And they get all the attention, and most of it is negative. And most of us would just be happy if their behavior changed. Those are the prodigal kids, the more rebellious and then we have the pharisaical kids, let's call them the rule followers and sadly most Christian parents would just we just have the goal of raising Pharisees you know just be happy if they just played nicely and they just followed the rules and by the way that's what we all crave We want a set of rules that we can follow because following the rules makes us feel good about ourselves, like we've achieved righteousness.

That's why Christians struggle so much with legalism. That's our default setting. We actually will invent rules so that we can follow them. I'm going to step on some tolls here, so I'm going to make sure to step firmly. When I was in college, we had a rule that said, you're a Christian, Christians don't drink alcohol, Christians don't social dance, which I don't still understand the definition of that.

I think it just means talking while dancing or something. You know, Christians, you know, Christians, of course, would never smoke a cigarette, all those kinds of things. Please hear what I'm saying and not what I'm not saying. I'm not endorsing smoking cigarettes or something like that. I buried my father in 2014 and watched him suffer through lung cancer.

But the list of rules that we make are always ones we can follow. We judge the man smoking cigarettes because he has a filthy habit, even while we ourselves need to have our daily chocolate fix or the diet cola that we've been sneaking for 10 years. That type of thing creeps into our parenting. We look at our prodigals and we tell them over and over about God's law, which we need to do. You know, we say, don't behave that way.

Play nicely with your sister. Why did you steal that? God commands you not to steal. Why did you say that? God will hold you accountable for every idle word.

You know, I've told you to clean your room and it's still not clean. God commands you to honor and obey your father and mother. And we tell them God's law. Why? Because that's the law they're breaking.

And yet, would we be pleased if only they just behaved better? You know, if you could just control your sinful impulses, our life would be so much smoother. We're tired of correcting them, aren't we? Now, I want you to just put that on a shelf, or we're going to get back to it. I want to talk about our easy children.

Now, again, we're painting with broad strokes. Don't get caught up analyzing each of your children to try to put them in categories. We're talking about extremes. You know, one minute your child's a prodigal, next he's a Pharisee. Don't lose sight of the forest by looking at leaves, broad strokes.

The truth is really our children, just like ourselves, can fit into any category on any given day. Sometimes the rebellious child follows the rules that we think, oh boy, we're making progress. And then other times, you know, we have a child that is usually so obedient and they have a period of rebellion and we wonder where we've gone wrong. The categories are not hard and fast, they're just designed to be descriptive. The easy child, we're going to call that child the Pharisee.

The Pharisee seems to obey all of God's laws and yet their hearts can still be far from God. The problem is that the Pharisee, while not being corrected, is complimented for obedience. And there's nothing wrong with that. Henry, good job on this project. Or Sam, your room looks fantastic.

Just making up names. Cynthia, thank you for, you know, for all that you do and seeing through your tasks to completion and those kinds of things. Now, is it bad to tell a prodigal about the law? No. You are commanded to do so.

Is it bad to compliment an obedient child? Of course not. Of course not. You know, is it bad to wish that All of your children would follow the rules and just be contributing members of society. No, it's not a bad thing to want that.

Understand though, and listen closely to this, at this point, all you have given to both your prodigals and your Pharisees, all that you have given them is the law of God The law is perfect the law is beautiful, but it cannot save Romans 3 Paul says for by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight. Since through the law comes knowledge of sin. To the prodigal, you have communicated, stop breaking God's law. Both God and I will be happier if you stop breaking his law. To the Pharisee you've communicated, good job obeying God's law.

Both God and I are pleased with you because you've obeyed God's law. But if by the works of the law, no flesh will be justified, then by your own admittance and practice, you're saying that you would deem yourself a successful parent if you just had kids that obeyed like Donald Barnhouse's pristine city. Because it seems that most Christian parents would be happy with those tidy pedestrians. If you think the goal of Christian parenting is to raise just good behaving children, you've got it all wrong. If you think the goal of Christian parents would be to raise children who just follow the rules, you are guaranteed to fail.

Isn't that just terrible news, by the way? There's good news. It is the gospel. That's what it means, by the way, good news. Let's define some terms before we go any further.

We've been talking about the law and the gospel, and I want to give you some very simple definitions. Listen, God's law in its simplest form, God's law is everything God requires of man. If God requires it of you, that's God's law. It can be summed up in the words of the Lord, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself. That's going to be the summary of God's law.

That's what Jesus said. That sums up both tables of the law, all Ten Commandments. How many of you have done that? John Calvin wrote, He says, as if we could think of anything more difficult than to love God with all our heart, all our soul, and all our strength. Compared with this law, everything could be considered easy.

For the law cannot do anything else than to accuse and blame all to a man, to convict, and as it were apprehend them in fine to condemn them in God's judgment that God alone may justify that all flesh may keep silence before him. If you think that you have obeyed God's law perfectly, even for a day, you've only fooled yourself. You don't understand God's law. That's God's law, it's beautiful. It is holy, it is perfect, but it condemns.

Those of you that have your little workout places in your garage, you know it's like putting up a poster of Arnold Schwarzenegger and his prime and after you work out you go up to the poster and you flex into the mirror. And that's like God's law. And you're like, man, I thought I was doing well. You're not. It's a mirror.

And it shows you all of your flabby parts. Not for a single moment have we fulfilled what's written there. What is breaking God's law? Sin. What are the wages of sin?

Death. Have we disobeyed God's law? Or have we obeyed God's law? No. That means that what we have just admitted is that what we deserve is death, hell, and damnation.

But that's exactly what the older brother in the parable deserved and what did he do? He said, I'm better than him. I've served you unfailingly. I deserve what you have given him. So again, simple definition, God's law, everything that God requires of man.

It is beautiful, but we stand condemned before it. The law of God is bad news to the sinner. What is the gospel? Well, the gospel means good news. So considering the bad news, there is good news.

It's actually very, very wonderful news. If the law of God is what God requires of man, the gospel is all that God provides to those that He has set His love upon. What is God provided in the gospel? Listen, God is provided in the gospel all that He requires in the law. All that God requires in the law, all that God provides in the gospel is what God has required in the law.

But what must we do to get that? Because that just sounds really, really awesome. Repent and believe. Surely there's got to be something more though. There must be some way that we can deserve the gospel.

No, it's all of grace. It's unmerited favor. Grace, God's riches at Christ's expense. You see, it was Christ who obeyed the law perfectly. Christ alone has perfectly and wholly and he's the one that has merited God's favor.

We have only kindled God's wrath. But the good news is that the wrath of God that we have kindled has been poured out upon his son and Jesus drank every bitter drop. Jesus was crucified for all that we deserve and we are exceedingly blessed with all that he deserves. Christ wore your shoes on Calvary so you can stand in his shoes before the Father. The gospel does not impose any commands.

It reveals God's goodness, his mercy, his benefit. The news is so good, it's scandalously good. It really sounds too good to be true, but it is. And because the gospel is good news, By the way, you can't live it. People talk all the time about, you just need to live the gospel.

What they're meaning is, you need to live in light of the gospel. But you can't live the gospel, just like you can't live any other bit of good news. The allies invaded Normandy, Live it. What do you do at Good News? Well, you proclaim it.

That's what you do at Good News. How wonderful to proclaim Good News. Sometimes it's difficult to understand what's law and what's gospel. You get a group of just about anybody and you can say that we shouldn't lie and we shouldn't steal and I think most people would agree with that. God's law is given to men.

But the gospel is the one distinctive of the Christian. That's why I find it ironic that most churches have as their tagline, loving God and loving people because that's a summary of the law. Even while not believing in a one true God, you could probably write that on a Mormon church or a Jehovah Witness church, and most unbelievers would probably, who are enemies of God, who would agree with that kind of statement. Church proclaims loving God and loving people as if that is what they do. Actually, no, that's not what they do.

That's what they have failed to do, which is why Jesus Christ went to the cross, because you can't do that. There's no good news in that tagline. Theologian Michael Horton, he comments this, he says, the believer goes to the law and loves that law for its divine, isn't it by the way just amazing? The thing that condemns us as believers we now can go to and love power of the gospel the believer goes to the law and loves that law for its divine wisdom for it reveals the will of the one to whom we are now reconciled by the gospel. Listen, but the believer cannot find pardon, mercy, victory, or even the power to obey it by going to the law itself any more after his conversion than before.

It is still always the law that commands and the gospel that gives. Now how does all of that relate to parenting and communicating to children? It's been a long journey to get here, right? You're like, okay, finally, his introduction is done. Again, I'm not going to give you a how-to list.

This is merely my hope of offering you a paradigm change. I'm going to purposely give you two scenarios. The first dealing with the prodigal, the rebel. The second dealing with the Pharisee. Do not write down my verbiage.

If I see pens moving, I'm going to think, you're missing the framework. You're starting to do how, this is about understanding the framework. Here's the first scenario. You've got these two sons, and they're always at each other's throat. And one day you witness your older son holding his younger brother in a headlock and just going to work on him.

And your younger son is just screaming. Now you know, because you're a wise parent, you know that this is probably a provoked scenario. So you come along and you break this up. You're sitting down with one of the boys, really doesn't matter which one, and what do we say? Normally, we give him the law, which we need to, and we tell the younger son, look, it's wrong to provoke and to bug your brother.

We tell the older son, look, it's wrong to lose your temper and physically hurt your brother. You know, you tell, let's say you're talking to the older boy, you say, you know, God commands you to love your brother and to be kind with him. And He says, well, I hate him, he's my enemy. Okay, God commands you to love your enemy. He says, I don't love him, I hate him, he bugs me so much, I can't love him.

And so maybe we tell him, that's not an acceptable answer, son. God is displeased with you when you behave like that. You will love him. You will treat him kindly and I want you to go right now and apologize to your brother. And maybe that's preceded or followed by some sort of corporal punishment or discipline or something like that.

Does anybody relate to that? Let's analyze that for a second. They have broken God's law, and this older son in this scenario, he actually tells you, I can't love my brother. He's unlovable, he doesn't deserve love or whatever the answer. In other words, they're admitting to you, I can't follow God's law.

And so what do we do? We tell them, try harder, do better. And then because we want them to be repentant, we make them apologize and we say, go tell him something you don't mean. Tell him you're sorry. And then hug him.

So what have we communicated? We've communicated that the solution to breaking God's law is to try harder. And repentance is easily faked. And by just saying I'm sorry, even if you don't mean it, and we're telling them essentially that God is displeased with them because of their behavior, but both you and God would be pleased with them if just your behavior improved. Either way, we have a sinner desperately in need of a savior and we've taught them it works righteousness salvation.

Imagine a different scenario and outcome, same, or different outcome with same scenario, sorry. His, Your son says, you know, I can't love him. Or, you know, I hate him or whatever he says. And you say, you know, I know you do. And you know what, you're right, you can't love him, not as you ought.

But you know why? It's because you have the same problem that he has. Your heart, just like my heart, it's prone to wander. It's prone to sin. And even if you were to treat your brother kindly like God has commanded you, you'd never love him as much as you ought to love him.

Because you and I son, we fail every single day. We know what God says, we know that we should obey but You're in the same boat I'm in. Our flesh is weak. You see, there's only one man who has perfectly obeyed and is Jesus and his obedience. By his obedience alone, we can be made acceptable before God.

And when you trust in Jesus to make you acceptable for before God God will do this great work in you To start making your heart like his heart and God will strengthen you to control Your actions and to control your tongue and the very things that you can't do today that God commands us to do God will enable you to take the steps to do it because we need to look to him to strengthen us. You can't look to yourself. We're all unlovable. What amazing news to know that God, because of Christ, has set His love upon us, not because we've obeyed, but because while we were yet sinners, Christ obeyed. Or remind your son that we deserve God's wrath in far greater ways than his brother deserved his wrath and yet God the Father has poured it out on the Lord Jesus so that he could pour his affection upon his people.

See, the problem with most of us when dealing with the rebellious child is that all we give them is the law. And we imply by that that God is displeased with them because they've broken the law, and if they would just obey, God would be pleased with them, when the truth is that God is only pleased because Christ has obeyed. Your righteousness, my righteousness, filthy rags. We can never hope to please God in and of ourselves. God is pleased with our good works only because our good works are acceptable in Christ as God works in us to will and to work according to his good pleasure.

Now dealing with the Pharisees is actually a little harder. And the reason for that is because, well, they're rule followers. You know, they're normally easy to parent. We're not often correcting them and scolding them. They're often forgotten about because you're so busy putting out the squeaky wheel.

We're putting out fires. The obedient child is largely ignored. The problem is, what if your obedient child only hears good job? Imagine, you're not correcting them often. You're complimenting them often and you're praising them.

Thank you, son, for doing your chores and always showing initiative. Thank you for listening the first time I tell you something, thank you for answering me respectfully. The worst is when we scold the prodigal by praising the Pharisee. Why is your room so messy? You know, your sister doesn't seem to have a problem with cleaning her room.

Why can't you just be more like her? Why can't you do it if she can do it? So the obedient child grows up thinking that he or she can make parents and please parents happy and ultimately the Lord if they just follow the rules. That child never sees their need for a Savior. The rebellious child knows they don't honor God.

They may think that Jesus is only for the holy ones that have their act together. The Pharisee may grow up thinking that, well, God is easy to honor. Jesus must be for the rebel, the one that keeps breaking the rules that can't get their act together. They just need so much more help. So how do you give the gospel to a Pharisee?

Well, you have to remind them that they need good news. You know, your daughter has this immaculate room that she's cleaned and we normally say, you know, hey this room looks amazing. Thank you for keeping it so clean You can also use that as an opportunity Again, this is just one of many possible examples, but you can say wow this room does look amazing It looks immaculate and I love you that you're so obedient to these things, and I'm thankful for that as a parent. Let me ask you a question. Do you know that even in our best obedience, we can never, in and of ourselves, please God?

Only Jesus has pleased God in his obedience because only Jesus has perfectly obeyed God and you and I, no matter how well we try to obey, even our good things are tainted by sin and that's why we're so desperately in need of a savior to come and rescue us. And so I just want you to remember that God is only pleased with us because he is pleased with Christ and our best work without Christ would only increase God's wrath upon us. Or you could simply ask the question, you know, darling, do you think that God is ultimately pleased with you for how well you clean your room? And no matter how they answer, say ask why and use that opportunity to share that God is only pleased with us because of Christ's obedience and it's important for us to trust in the work of Christ and not in our own work to merit favor with God and again that's just an example. Author Elise Fitzpatrick she wrote this she said let's face it Most of our children believe that God is happy if they're good for goodness sake we've come we've transformed the holy terrifying Magnificent and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves and instead of transmitting the gloriously liberating and life-changing truth of the gospel, we've taught our children that what God wants from them is morality.

We have told them that being good, at least outwardly, is the be all and end all of their faith. This isn't the gospel. We're not handing down Christianity. We need much less of Veggie Tales and Barney and tons more of the radical, bloody, scandalous message of God made man and crushed by his father for our sins. That is a wonderful reminder.

The question that we need to ask ourselves is what makes our parenting uniquely Christian? You know, just like the church that has a sign, loving God and loving neighbors, you know, what is that message? What makes that message distinctly Christian? If we're just scolding our children for bad behavior and praising our children for good behavior, well we could take parenting, forget the Bible, you can learn that from Dr. Phil.

Or Oprah or something. Is it distinctly Christian if what you're doing the pagan next door can say amen Sometimes I ask myself when I preach a sermon I say can an Orthodox Jew listening to this say amen Because if they can I've done something wrong because I've not preached Christ. Listen, Jesus Christ and what he has accomplished is the only Christian distinctive. Remember What makes Christianity unique is the gospel. He is, Christ is the chief cornerstone of all that God is building.

It is about him. It is his kingdom. Only Christianity knows that we are condemned by the law and must rely not on our works, but on the works of another to make us acceptable before God. Let me share one other well-worded quote from Fitzpatrick. Everything that isn't gospel is law.

Every way we try to make our kids good that isn't rooted in the good news of life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law. We won't get the results we want from the law. We'll get either shallow self-righteousness or blazing rebellion or both, frequently from the same kid on the same day. We'll get moralistic kids who are cold and hypocritical and who look down on others and could easily be Mormons or you'll get teens who are rebellious and self-indulgent and who can't wait to get out of the house. Listen, we have to remember that in the life of our unregenerate children, The law is given for one reason only to crush their self-confidence and drive them to Christ There is nothing that you could do to guarantee the salvation of your children What we fail to remember is that the gospel is not about following rules to be saved.

It is the law of God given to remind your children of God's holiness that they fall short of and then to flee to Christ. The gospel is the good news that Jesus Christ obeyed that law perfectly for us. In other words, both of our both our rebels and our rule followers, they need the same thing. They need a savior who has pleased God in all things and who has purchased their forgiveness by his death on the cross Only Jesus can save them Only the power of the Holy Spirit can regenerate a heart that is dead in sin but the ironic thing is that many times we as Christian parents fail to give either child the prodigy the Pharisee or the prodigal the gospel We fail to tell them the message that actually saves. The prodigal gets scolding and punishment, we tell them over and over what's expected, we tell them the rules, the Pharisee gets praised for doing the right thing, And we've lost the opportunity for the law to crush them and drive them to Christ.

We've allowed the law to crush the prodigal, but we haven't driven them anywhere. We're using the law to build up the Pharisee when the law should crush them and drive them to the gospel. We need to point our children to the God of grace who is in the business of rescuing the hopeless, rescuing sinners. Jesus Christ, the great friend of sinners. Let's pray together.

Our Father and our God, we are ill-prepared in many ways to pass on a robust faith to the next generation. It's a reminder to all of us, Lord, as in everything, that we need to rest upon your promises that we would know that our relationship with you is built upon grace and the favor of Christ and not any favor due to ourselves. Lord, we ask that you would equip us towards that end, that you would equip us to know the gospel, to see the opportunities that we have every single day to teach it diligently to our children, that we could plant those seeds that you alone can water and can bring to harvest, Lord, and that we would tell our kids the full extent of your law and all of Your holiness, that we would bring it to bear upon their lives so that they are crushed before it and are sent to the only place of rescue. Let us be those parents. Let us be Christian parents as we raise up godly seed to the next generation and we do this Lord, not because we're building our own many kingdoms, We do this because you are our king and we are building your kingdom through these very ordinary means of teaching and parenting and these things that your people have been doing for generations before us.

Help us toward this end we pray. Amen.