The First Commandment With A Promise

Allowing Dishonor and disobedience in your home is devastating to your children, while securing honor and obedience is one of the most helpful things you can do. It is the will of our Father in heaven to create cultures of honor and fathers and mothers are at center stage of accomplishing this task.

When the apostle Paul says in Ephesians 6:1-4, “honor your father and mother’ he is identifying one small piece of a huge issue that goes far beyond father and mother. God desires honor toward Himself and every other living creature.

Seven Admonitions for Fathers and Sons for creating a culture of honor

Get The definition right
Understand the will of God
Learn from Jesus
No one can sidestep this command
Examine your heart
Fathers, honor your sons
Believe the promise

Lord we pray that you would give us strength to turn our whole hearts to you in your word now in Jesus name Amen. Okay please be seated. I'd like you to open your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 6. We're going to be looking at verses 1 through 4 and this is what the Apostle Paul calls the first command with the promise and this of course is the fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments. Anthony began with the first commandment and now what the Apostle Paul calls the first command with a promise.

Aren't you thankful that God made so many promises to you? And this is one of the most stunning promises in scripture is here, and it's a quotation from the fifth commandment. The context that the apostle Paul uses this, though, is to really demonstrate what it looks like in a family or in a person's life, even in a church, when they're filled with the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 5 18 says, do not be drunk with wine, which is dissipation, but be filled with the Holy Spirit. And then everything after that is a description of what it looks like to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

And the first thing you do when you're filled with the Holy Spirit, you speak to one another in Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. And then you submit to one another in verse 21. And wives submit to their husbands And husbands love their wives. And what do children do? When they're filled with the Holy Spirit.

You can tell when the work of the Holy Spirit is operating in your family, when there's honor and obedience. This is a mark of the filling of the Holy Spirit in a family. So I'd like for us to read these verses here. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord.

And this passage has much to say about family life, but one of the things that it bears down hard on is how allowing dishonor and disobedience in your home is devastating to your children, and securing honor and obedience in your children is one of the most helpful things you can ever do for them. And I just want to suggest that allowing dishonor and disobedience in your home is a form of child abuse. Now, a few years ago right here in North Carolina, something hit the news. A logging truck driver drove right over a child who was crossing the street and killed that child instantly. What happened is school had been dismissed for the day.

The child took the bus home. The child stood on the curb on the street to meet her mother and her grandmother. And so her grandmother and her mother were on one side of the street and the child was on the other, and they saw this logging truck coming down the road. So they said to their daughter, stop, don't come across the street. And the daughter didn't listen and kept coming across the street.

And they begin screaming at their daughter, stop, go back. And that that disobedient child walked right in the path of that logging truck. And the press was focused on the driver of the logging truck and how he didn't see her and all this discussion about how fast he was going, but there was really no mention of the fact that you had a daughter who disobeyed her mother and her grandmother. Who was culpable in that terrible, terrible tragedy? Our culture has lost a sense of how important it is to secure honor and obedience in a home.

And I believe that this commandment here, the fifth commandment speaks to it. And I wanna draw seven admonitions for all of us from this passage of scripture. First is get the definition right. Second, understand the will of God. Third, learn from Jesus about honor.

Number four, no one can sidestep this command. Number five, examine your heart. Six, fathers can fail to honor their children. And then finally, believe the promise. So let's begin with the first element of this series of admonitions.

First of all, get the definition right of honor. What does it mean to secure honor? And we could go many places. I think the Webster's 1828 dictionary actually describes the biblical terminology here, which uses these terms, the esteem due, high estimation in words and actions, dignity, exalted in rank, reverence, veneration, and submission. Now, these things all require action.

Proverbs 1 verse eight says that hearing and doing is one element of it. My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. It involves servanthood and lowliness. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10 24, a disciple is not above his teacher nor a servant above his master. And that's the idea of honor and obedience.

And there are two elements to it. There's an inward element and there's an outward element. The inward element is honor. The outward element is obedience. It manifests itself in a particular way.

Notice how serious this is in the Bible. We know how serious it can be in real life when you have children who dishonor and disobey their parents. But one of the most dramatic, terrifying occurrences of this principle in the Bible is in Mark chapter 7 verse 10 where the Lord Jesus Christ says, For Moses said, Honor your father and your mother, and he who curses father or mother, let him be put to death. This is a far more serious matter than we often consider that it is. And you find this throughout the entire Bible.

In fact, if you go to Genesis 18 and you find what is communicated there, the purpose of Abraham's life, actually begins to be communicated in Genesis chapter 12, where God calls Abraham really to fulfill the Great Commission and he says, I will make you a great nation and all the families of the earth shall be blessed. That's in Genesis 12, verses two and three. But then if you continue on in Genesis to chapter 18, God declares the purpose of Abraham's life. And it's really bound up in the honor and the obedience of children. For the God says, I have known him in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of the Lord to do righteousness and justice that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has spoken to him." Now, In Genesis 12, there is set forth the great evangelistic program of God throughout time on earth, and God reveals the purpose of Abraham's life, which is to command his children.

Now When there is a command to children, there is a reciprocal opportunity to honor and obey that command or to reject it. And so part of the fulfilling of the Great Commission through Abraham is the commanding of children that they might serve the Lord and literally to keep the way of the Lord and do righteousness and justice. Why? That the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has spoken to him. His commandment regarding his children is designed to be a part of fulfilling the Great Commission.

So in getting the definitions right, it's critical that we understand it's a very serious matter to call children to revere their fathers and their mothers. Secondly, understand the will of God. It is the will of God, the Father, to create cultures of honor. And fathers and mothers are at the center stage of that. And it's particularly revealed in the Fifth Commandment.

But that task is given to fathers and mothers. There is a particular delegation that God has brought about, and that is that delegation to fathers and mothers. And God desires honor in the institutions that he has established. Now you can see how God in his kindness has worked to create cultures of honor in all that he has made. For example, he first of all has established a culture of love and honor in heaven where during the Lord Jesus Christ's incarnation, the Son honors and submits to his Father.

The Father loves the Son. The Son delights to do the will of the Father. This is the heavenly paradigm for relationships that is revealed particularly in the Incarnation. And second, he's issued commands to families to establish these things. And I want to identify very quickly six areas that God has ordained honor in the institutions and the individuals that he's created.

First of all, in the heart of man we just reviewed the first commandment. Deuteronomy 6-5 repeats it, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. God desires honor toward him in the heart of an individual. Secondly, he desires honor in marriage. And he actually tells the husband to honor his wife as the weaker vessel in 1 Peter chapter three verse seven, and to love his wife like Christ loved the church.

When you honor your wife, you're actually putting her before you. And a wife to submit to your husband and respect your husband. These are all elements of honor. And then even in the church itself, God desires to establish a culture of honor and obedience. In the church in Hebrews 13, seven, what we read the author saying, obey those who rule over you and be submissive for they watch out for your souls as those who give it an account.

Let them do so with joy and not with grief for that would be unprofitable for you. So God desires to create a culture of honor in the church. And even in the state in Romans chapter 13, he says, let every soul be subject to governing authorities for there is no authority except from God and he calls all men and women and boys and girls to honor the civil government and those who lead in the civil government. So those are those are Those are ways that God has designed to create cultures of honor, beginning in the heart, which is an extension of what is happening in heaven with God the Father, and God the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and he desires his earthly institutions to manifest that same honor. And so it's critical that we understand the will of God.

It's the will of God that honor and obedience is established in the institutions that he has established and Those institutions primarily are the church the family in the state The third thing after getting the definition right after understanding the word with the will of God I think we need to look to the Lord Jesus Christ and to learn from him Because it's our Lord Jesus Christ that teaches us honor and obedience and The Lord Jesus Christ was obedient to his father and this is this is manifested in in every aspect of his incarnation the child Jesus always obeyed his fallen parents. They were ordinary parents. They came from a small town, Nazareth, and They were like all parents who have their first child. Mary and Joseph were young parents. Mary and Joseph were inexperienced parents.

And yet Jesus submitted to them because he did keep all of the law. Now, he was always about his father's business, his father in heaven, but not only was Jesus obedient to his Heavenly Father, he was obedient to his earthly father, Joseph. In chapter 2 verse 51 of Luke we read that Jesus went down with his family to Nazareth and he was subject to them. But his mother kept all these things in her heart and Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and favor with God and men. Our Lord Jesus Christ was obedient to his young, inexperienced, unknown, plain, ordinary parents.

And that's pretty much what all children get. They get normal parents to submit to. But our Lord Jesus Christ is an example of submission to his parents and I think he teaches us that if you want the greatest blessing, the greatest happiness in this life, then keep the commandments of God And that's exactly what our Lord Jesus Christ did. Hebrews 1, 9 says he was the happiest of all the disciples. And he was happy under the authority that God had placed him in his incarnation.

So learn from the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus submitted to inexperienced young parents and you boys here, that's pretty much what you have to. You have inexperienced young parents and they're not perfect but God has called you to submit to them. And then the next element of this, the next admonition I want to bring is no one can sidestep this command. This command is for all, It's for all sons and daughters whether they're Christians or not.

This command is for all fathers and mothers whether they are Christians or not. And God has issued this command to all of mankind. He's issued laws that are beneficial to all of mankind. Like it was already said tonight, the laws of God are your friends. And he issues this call to parents.

And obedience must be required. You know, don't be deceived that because obedience is a matter of the heart, that the outward obedience is not important. Don't be deceived about that matter. Parents must require obedience and even outward obedience. You know, a few years ago, Deborah and I saw a news story that came out of California where we grew up, And somebody wrote an article about this incident, and I believe the title of the article was Are You Preparing Your Son to be Shot by the Police?

And really it was an article about honor and obedience in children. And what happened was that a 13-year-old boy, his name was Andy Lopez, was shot by police. He was 13 years old and he had a toy gun. He had a toy rifle in his hand and the police observed him and asked him to put the gun down, to drop the gun, and they asked him twice and then he turned his toy gun on them and they shot him dead. Again, you know, this is a boy who never understood honor and obedience for the authorities that God, you know, threw in his way.

And I, you know, parents must require honor and obedience of their children. And there are many illustrations that we could bring from the Word of God on this, and regarding the critical nature of obedience in the Christian life. But I just think we have to recognize when little children, even In small ways, they pull away, they hit, they contradict, they correct their parents, they speak harshly to their siblings. They've moved into a danger zone, and parents need to recognize how dangerous it is to just let that pass by. And parents have to be very discerning about that.

And I know that most people are breaking generational patterns in their lives, patterns of dysfunction and disorder. The easiest thing in the world is to grow up in a family where obedience is not required. And as a result, you might struggle with not actually securing honor and obedience in your own home. But it's. It is foolish for parents to think that their children.

Need to become believers before. They learn obedience. And. Parents who think that faith must proceed obedience are woefully. Misguided.

And if you allow the seeds of disobedience and dishonor to grow, it'll cause enormous pain and trouble in that child's life, and it will affect the church that that child goes to. One of the issues that we always face in the church are people who are rebellious and disobedient and dishonorable. Most of the problems in the church actually aren't that much over doctrine. They are really about broken relationships and not thinking the best of one another and not speaking you know words of love to one another which has to do with dishonor. But most of the problems in the church really are pretty much about relational fallout.

But parents have been given this job to secure honor and obedience in children. The next admonition, examine your heart. It's critical that we all examine our hearts on this matter of honor and obedience because all of us have been put in places where we're under authority. Here's something that we must understand. Honor is a secret virtue and dishonor is a secret sin.

And so the big question is what is happening in your heart? And I think this is a particularly helpful question for boys here. Do you have a heart of honor and obedience toward your father? Have you allowed any insolence to grow? Have you allowed resistance to his will to grow in your heart?

And everybody understands that these things are always challenged in young people. And my experience is that boys particularly struggle in this matter. And they begin to resist the authority that God put over them in their fathers. But the danger of a secret sin is that it will come out and it may take years for it to come out and when it comes out it will not go well. It will not go well with you.

And then finally, fathers, not finally, but second to the last, fathers can fail to honor their sons. And that's why the Apostle says in verse 4, And you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord." And that means that fathers are called to take action, to lead their sons and to engage them in the things of God, to bring the Word of God to them, the training and the admonition of the Lord, which is this, it's everything that the Word of God represents for the character of God. That in your home you're bringing heaven down as a father, you're bringing them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord, the glories and the beauties of the Word of God, and all of the happinesses that come with it. And then finally, believe the promise, because there's a promise here, which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. And this just highlights how critical it is that we have a culture of honor and obedience in our homes, because it will either go well or it will not go well with your children if they do not find themselves with honorable hearts.

No, there is a promise of outward prosperity and there's a promise that good things will happen. It will be well with you. That's the first element of the promise. And the second element is that you may live long on the earth. So the success of your children is hanging in the balance regarding your diligence to deal with dishonor and disobedience in your family.

God gave us this command, the first command with a promise so that we so that we might have a generation, a happy generation, whose hearts honor God. And I think part of what God is doing in his word and this and through this command is that you train your children to honor God by helping him to honor you and so you cannot neglect that. So it's critical to remember that refusing to honor and obey your father and your mother will destroy you. So six admonitions. Make sure you understand what honor is and get the definition right.

Understand the will of God that he desires to build cultures of honor throughout the world that we live in. Third, learn from Jesus Christ who submitted to his imperfect parents. Number four, remember that nobody can sidestep this command. No child can sidestep it and no father can sidestep it. Next, examine your heart, the depths of your heart, and ask, is there within me any dishonor toward my father?

And that goes also for the older, for the fathers here. If you're dishonoring your father, then it will not go well with you. And that needs to be set right. Repentance needs to take place and reconciliation needs to be secured. And then finally, don't forget the ways that fathers can fail to love and honor their sons.

And let's believe that promise that it will go well with you and you'll live long on the earth. Let's pray. Lord I pray that you would help us first of all to honor you that You would be our consuming honor that would affect every other honor and that even even here in this place that You would help us all make progress in honoring You and also in honoring those authorities that you put in our lives. And so now Lord I pray that you would bless these fathers and sons as they talk about these things. I pray that you would give them openness.

I pray that you would give them tenderheartedness toward one another as they speak. I pray that you would, if it's appropriate for them to repent and to be reconciled to one another, Lord if there's a son who has growing insolence in his heart, that you would stop him up here in this place tonight and if there's a father who's exasperating his children or is being negligent to secure honor that you would convict him to the heart Lord we so desire that these cultures of honor would exist in our hearts and that you, oh Lord, would bring the culture of heaven into this place. Amen.