What makes a happy, joy-filled home? While the world has many answers to this question, we can trust that God knows best and that his ways are the best ways. In this sermon from Philippians 4:1-9, we see that creating a culture of joy and happiness in families is not done haphazardly or carelessly. Peace and unity are not made by accident. Rather a happy family is created through the four forces of healing division, rejoicing together, praying together, and filling your home with the best things.

I've been asked to speak about how one would build a culture of faith and hope and joy in a home so that you know our homes are places where our sons and daughters are experiencing the goodnesses of the kingdom of heaven, that we're partaking of God's heavenly gifts And they're being seen and felt in the hearts of those that are with us in our homes. And so that's my objective tonight is to try to speak of that. I want to draw from Paul's letter to the Philippians, particularly chapter 4 verses 1 through 9 and what the Apostle Paul says to the church in Philippi I think is very appropriate for building a culture of joy in our homes. He's speaking to this church that the glory and the beauty of Jesus Christ would be seen in that church and God has established homes to be little churches in a way. That's what Matthew Henry said that they're not churches but they're like little churches where the glory of God is demonstrated and communicated and shown in the various contours of life in a home.

So that's what I want to speak about. I would like to draw what the apostle says to the church and form it to the way that we think about our homes so that our homes are pictures of the glories of Jesus Christ, not our own glory, not our own ways. In many ways what we're doing here at this retreat is to restore. We're here to restore what it means to be a biblically ordered family. We're here to restore the glory of God in our own hearts so that that glory is known and seen in the world through our families.

We're all being restored. We will constantly be being restored until the Lord takes us home. So I wanna draw from Philippians chapter four. Now in my message yesterday, my focus was on love and its role in restoring honor and humility in the home. And my focus was who you are, because you have to know who you are when you're at that crossroads of honor and love.

But tonight, I wanna shift that focus to what you can do, what you can do to build a culture of joy and hope in your home. Because I believe the Apostle Paul gives very clear instructions about how you do that in the Church of Jesus Christ. And when I read these words of the Apostle Paul, it makes me think of how good God is to give us instructions, to give us such life-giving help so that we're not left to flail about on our own, to go create our own world any way we want, but to be found with something that's true, something that's right, something that actually works. God gives you workable ways, and they're beautiful, and they all bear witness to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. So in the spirit of a desire to continue to be restored in our families I'd like you to open your Bibles to Philippians chapter 4 and I'd like you to find verse 1.

And I pray that these words would help to continue to restore us as a group of men here gathered in this place. Now as you've opened your Bibles to Philippians chapter four, we need to just recognize what's happening here. The apostle Paul is riding this from prison. He's under house arrest. Paul is chained to a Roman guard for 24 hours a day and he has experienced an unjust imprisonment.

And the outlook for Paul is grim. He's at the end of his life. But while the outlook on the surface is grim, Paul's outlook is bright. And he's praising God. And so we find ourselves in Philippians in what many call the most joyful book in the entire Bible.

And it happened, it's written in a moment of Paul's life when he is at the hardest time in his life probably and he experiences these chains to a Roman guard for two years. So he's enduring a long season of difficulty and he's writing to the Philippian Church also in difficulty and so I think that this testimony here is good for us because all of us are in difficulty all of us have various issues that are pressing in upon us and so it's a good place to turn. So I'd like for us to stand as we read Philippians chapter 4 one through nine. I want us to notice the first verse and the tenderness of this verse. As you hear these words, I pray that you and I would really have a sense of the tender mercies of God for His church.

You know, the Lord Jesus says that He's not ashamed to call us brethren. He's not ashamed. He's bringing us to glory. And I think that as we engage the things that are here, the first thing that I want us to recognize is what's found in this first verse, and that is the tenderness of Jesus Christ toward his men who love Him and are called according to His purpose. His tenderness is toward you and He desires to nourish you and cherish you and wash you with the water of the Word.

So here's what He says, Therefore, My beloved and longed-for brethren, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved. I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the Gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice always, and again I say rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to all men.

The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication. With thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus. Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, Whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there's any virtue and if there's anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do.

And the God of peace will be with you. Let's pray. Lord, Lord we pray that you would you would help us to receive with meekness the implanted word that these words would fall upon our hearts and change them. Draw us near to you. Show us your glory, Lord, through these words that are so good for us.

I thank you for giving them to us tonight. Amen. Please be seated. Now, out of these verses, I wanna draw four forces to create a culture of joy and happiness in your family. That's my objective and I want to give you four of these forces that I want to pull from this passage of Scripture and I'll just put them up here so that you can see what they are as we walk through them.

First of all, healing the divisions in your family. That's the first powerful force to create joy in your family. Healing the divisions. Secondly, rejoicing together. That's verses 4 and 5.

Third, praying together. That's verses 6 and 7. And then finally, fourth, filling your home with the best things. That's verses eight and nine and we're going to list six. Six of those things to fill your home with.

So four powerful forces to create a culture of hope and joy in your home. These are from God. This is the Word of God. So the first is healing the divisions. The Apostle begins by identifying a conflict between two women in the Philippian Church, Euodia and Syntyche, and they were divided and they had labored together in the gospel with the apostle Paul but they are divided.

There is a terrible thing that's happened and often you find strife in a church and often you find strife in a home and sometimes the father or the husband is the culprit of the strife but healing of the strife is critical. Proverbs 29 22 says an angry man stirs up strife and a furious man abounds in transgression. If there's strife in your home, it could be your fault and I just want to ask every man to search his heart as deep as he can. Try to cut away the pride and the self-congratulations and the self-flattery for a minute if you can and ask, am I the source of any strife in my home? Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to see it if it's there.

I don't know you, but the Lord knows you. Just pause. Are you the source of strife? Are there any divisions that need to be healed that actually you're the one that has been responsible for them. Sometimes it's the mother and the wife that's the culprit and that's why Proverbs 25 verse 24 says, It's better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

Some of you might be married to contentious women. What are you gonna do about it? How are you gonna, how are you gonna shepherd a contentious woman? What does she need from you, you know? What do you need to be to her?

What do you need to say to her? How would you lead her? Because in God's providence you're married to a contentious woman. Ask God to fill your mind with His Word, to help you know. It's only the work of the Spirit of God that can help you heal the wounds of a contentious woman.

And so I ask you to ask the Lord now in this place right now right where you're sitting, Lord if how do I how do I help my wife? How do I nourish her and cherish her? How do I wash her in the water of the Word? How do I do it, Lord? Help me.

Now if you married to a contentious woman, you've been crying out for that for maybe for a long time. Cry out again! Keep crying out. You know, I got up this morning. I was reading Psalm, I think it was 116.

And the very first words were, I love the Lord because He heard my voice. Sometimes it's the children that are causing strife in a home. And that's why it's critical that parents, they move upon the strife, they move against the strife and they minister to their children who are causing strife. Proverbs 17 14 says the beginning of strife is like releasing water therefore stop contention before a quarrel stops. It's a parent's responsibility to stop strife and contention in a home and it happens usually between siblings.

It may rise up and the contention might be a son toward his mother. One of the most harmful things in a home is when you have a son who dishonors his mother. But often, often it's the strife between siblings and parents let, parents allow siblings to fight and speak evil to one another and speak evil of one another and they should stop it because the beginning of strife is like releasing water and you can't stop it. Water goes wherever it wants to go and it'll go everywhere. So you've got to stop it And I've seen so many parents make the error of not confronting their children in strife toward one another.

You should not allow your children to speak evil to one another. Because God has put you as gatekeepers of strife in your homes. Keeping an eye on selfishness is critical of this, which is why the apostle Paul also said in Philippians chapter two, he said, "'Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, "'but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself." Teaching your children to esteem others better than themselves is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give them. And Paul says, Let each of you look out not for your own interests but also for the interests of others. And you know teaching children to pursue peace is so critical for the healing of strife in a home.

And the Apostle Paul recognized this as a problem in the Roman Church. And so in Romans 14 verse 19 he says, therefore let us pursue the things that make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. And he also said to them, so far as it depends on you be at peace with all men. Parents need to recognize where the strife is coming from. Fathers is it coming from you?

Is it coming from your wife? Is it coming from your children? What will you do about it? God has appointed fathers as heads of households to be governors of these things and to be agents of healing in their households for strife. Is there strife in your home?

What will you do about it? Brother, it's your responsibility as fathers And you've got to shepherd your family out of the strife. Sons, partner with your fathers to destroy any strife in your home. Come alongside your father and help him. By the way, someday you'll probably have a family and you may be caught in a horrible culture of strife in your home.

What will you do about it? Learn now. Learn how to heal the strife in your home. And brothers, I would just like to implore you in a similar way as I already have. Don't allow a culture of strife to persist in your home.

Take action, pray. The first force to create a culture of happiness in your family is to heal the divisions and to heal the strife. Pray about it, brother. I know you are praying about it if you're experiencing it, but keep on praying, don't give up. Keep lifting up your eyes under the hills from whence your help comes.

The second force in creating a family culture of joy is to rejoice. Together, that's verse 4. Rejoice in the Lord always and again I will say rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to all men the Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving.

Let your requests be made known to God. Now, rejoicing is always a byproduct of where you've already let your heart go. And it's just like love. Love isn't a choice, it's a fruit. Rejoicing is like that too and this is I think one of the reasons God has given us the Psalms to help us to rejoice.

You know, the Psalms are there standing in the way of your broken heart, of your fears. It stands in the way of all the things that are bothering you, and it says, rejoice. Bless, I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord and the humble shall hear it and be glad.

Oh magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together." Now and then David says, I sought the Lord and he heard me and he delivered me from all my fears. Well God has given us rejoicing and he's given us the Psalms to help us to rejoice. Here's a secret of my life. I need the Psalms every morning to turn my heart toward rejoicing. I do.

I wake up fearful and my only hope is that God turns my spirit around. He turns it around through the Psalms almost every morning. And that's why he says, rejoice in the Lord always. Be a family of rejoicing and do not fear. You know, the most often repeated command in the entire Bible is do not fear because that's our problem.

And God wants to take us out of our fears and into rejoicing. You know, in our church we've been studying the book of Ecclesiastes. Here's the summary of the book of Ecclesiastes. Really hard things are going to happen to you. They're going to happen to the godly and really hard things are gonna happen to the wicked and good things are gonna happen to the wicked and good things are gonna happen to the godly and here's why.

You live in a fallen world So welcome to the fallen planet. That's the first thing Solomon says in Ecclesiastes. Welcome to the fallen planet. Life is hard. And the second thing he says is well it is hard but what are you going to do about it?

And he says rejoice. Just rejoice in the food that God gives you. Rejoice in your wife, rejoice in whatever you can get your hands on. Rejoice with whatever God's given you. Because you can't control it.

God's in control of it all. So just rejoice that you just got a short course on Ecclesiastes. You know the Lord Jesus Christ spoke about this so often and you know one of the one of the longest sections of one of the most beautiful sermons he ever he ever preached, the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, he says, therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on, is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?" And he says, so why are you worrying?

Why are you worrying about all these things? And he says, here's what you should do. Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. Here's what you do.

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." There's no way you're gonna ever be able to have a happy family unless you put away worry, unless you believe that God is in control, unless you understand that God is sovereign over everything and He's gonna get you to the end because He cares for you, because He's bringing many sons to glory, He's gonna get you there and you don't have to worry about it. He's going to take you there and if a man understands that he can shepherd his whole family into a happy trust in God so that no matter what happens they understand that God is in control and that God is good. This is absolutely without question one of the most important things a father must teach his children is that God is good and that God is sovereign. And when families know that, they soar. And they're like David and they say, I saw the Lord and he heard me and he delivered me from all my fears.

What a blessing it is to have God to try to deliver us from these anxious, distracting thoughts from the difficulties of life. Jesus said, Take no thought for your life. God's going to take care of you. So if you want to build a culture of joy in your family, it's critical, it is absolutely essential that you are a family that rejoices together and that when you get together around the dinner table or you're driving in the car you're not complaining about what's happened. You're rejoicing in what God has done And that's how you build a culture of joy in your home.

You know, I could tell story after story in my family life how in really dark times God rescued us and I just can't commend to you more urgently anything but the sovereignty of God. Here's the third, The third way to build a culture of joy in your family and that is to pray together. Let your requests be made known to God. That's at the end of verse 6. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus." Here you have Jesus Christ, the ruler over everything, is guarding your heart and your mind as a result of your prayers.

Now there's something about our flesh that hates prayer. Our flesh hates prayer. And every man's flesh hates prayer. And yet God has designed prayer to be a guard for everything. And you know How will your family cope with the challenges that it faces?

It will cope with those things by in lowliness, in humility, in supplication, Going before God and realizing that He's your only hope. Here's what prayer says. It says that only God can help. That's what prayer says. That I'm not sufficient for anything, But God is sufficient for everything.

And so prayer is such a good thing because it puts us in a place of dependence. By its very nature, it's a dependent function. It makes us dependent. And You know, praying together as a family is one of the most important things. I was just telling my wife this morning, I called her up and I said, Denver would you please help me about what I want to say to these men tonight.

And we were talking about prayer and I said, you know, Deborah, I've not really led our family in prayer like I should have. But I told her that I've been so thankful for her and my daughters and my son because when they pray they carry me along in their prayers and the prayers in the family can carry the family. You know I remember I remember coming home one day a while ago and I was just I was just depleted in every way and I just didn't want to pray and Deborah and I fell back into bed and I usually read a psalm to her every night and I just didn't feel like reading that psalm I didn't feel like praying or anything So I read the psalm and I just flopped back in bed and she started to pray. I had no heart, I had no strength, desire at all in me to pray. And she just, my wife just carried me along, you know, in prayer.

And you know, my daughter's done that too for me. But we need one another. A family needs to pray together. And I would just suggest that the way you do that most effectively is just choose the times that you're normally together and just do it right there. Do it while you're together.

Maybe it's at the dinner table, whatever, maybe it's in the morning, whatever it is, just do it there and have a consistent time that's unbreakable. And let everyone pray, all the way down to the littlest ones, and let the prayers carry one another in that whole way. Matthew Henry has some, I think, some of the most beautiful, remarkable instructions for families to pray and it's found in this book, Building a God-Centered Family. You can get it right back there. And I'm just going to tell you some of his counsel for families in their prayer.

And he gives, he shows us five things that should have, we should have upon our hearts when we're praying together as a family And I've used these from time to time. Every time I've taken our family through this process, it's a blessing. It does take a little bit of time though, I'll have to say. And there are times I've not done it because it takes a long time. But whenever we do it, it's so life-giving.

I'll give you the five things right here. First of all, you ought to make family acknowledgements on your dependence upon God and His providences as you are a family. In other words, just acknowledge your dependence upon God for everything. Do that in prayer first. Secondly, you ought to make family confessions of your sins to God.

Those sins have contracted the guilt of your family. And Matthew Henry, he gives this illustration. He's saying that, you know, sins build up in a family and they need to be emptied. Empty it out. Empty out the sin.

Get it out. Get it out and get it out of there, you know? And the third piece of advice he has is, you ought to offer up family thanksgivings for the blessings which you with your families receive from God. So just giving thanks for whatever there is to give thanks for. And then fourthly you ought to present your family petitions for the mercy and grace which your families stand in need of.

You know, what comforts are there that your family needs? Matthew Henry says, what family crosses are you bearing? What are the things that you should beg for for your sanctification? What are the things you should beg God to remove, you know, out of your family? And then finally, he says you ought to make family intercessions for other people also because you live in the midst of friends and neighbors and acquaintances.

And he says that when you pray like that, remember that your prayers can go to the uttermost parts of the earth. And you can pray for people far away from you and have an effect in communities all over the world. What a blessing it is to have a prayer life like that. So those are five ways of prayer. But if you want to have a culture of hope and happiness in your home, prayer is critical for that.

God has given us this thing called prayer where he actually delights to hear the voices of his children. You know, your family should have what David had in his heart when he said, I love the Lord because he's heard my voice. And then the fourth force to create a culture of joy in your family is to meditate. Meditate on six things that are listed in verses 8 and 9. Let's read them again.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, and if there is any virtue, and if there's anything praiseworthy meditate on these things. Now in this one sentence the Apostle Paul brings out six elements of a positive vision for your family that arises out of your meditations. And, you know, all of these are positive. You can't just rid the culture of your family of the things that are bad. You must build positively.

You need to build positively a culture and that's what this is all about. These are all positive things. Fathers make huge mistakes when all they do is take things away and they don't put anything back. These verses are about what you put back in your family. And so in this one sentence are these six adjectives that are actually imperatives.

At the end of the sentence we learn, let your mind dwell on these things. So it's an imperative, It's a command. These are six commands for how you build a culture in your family. And it's an entirely positive approach. Now, my parents call this the whatevers, the six whatevers, okay, because they all begin with whatever.

So you're going to get the six whatevers, you know, here tonight. And he's speaking of a whole range of things in these categories whatever right like this one word within this one word is embedded maybe a dozen other things, whatever, right? It's bigger than just the word, but there are all these other things that are manifestations of these six qualities. And so I think these are distinguishing marks of the heart of the Christian in the home and in the church. And they are marching orders for people in the church and people in the home.

And I pray that as we go through these that even tonight, you know, you fathers and sons would be bonded together with these things. That you would determine together in your hearts that you would mingle your intentions and your words and your actions to accomplish these things in your own hearts and have them be expressed in your home, that you would have a home like this, and that fathers and sons would work together. Like wouldn't it be wonderful if all you fathers and sons went home and you were united together in love for lovely things like never before? Like you were saying together, amen. A father's saying to his son, amen, and his son says, amen.

Let's go for it. Okay. So these things are cultural building things and this is what a life-giving culture and a family looks like and I I just want to urge you with all my heart to have these in your heart because when they're real in your heart they'll create the culture of your family and when you go to church they'll help sweeten the culture of your church and when you go to work it'll sweeten the culture of your work. So these are critical here. Now all of these things, these six things...

Sorry for the delay in getting to the six things, I just I'm trying to frame this a little bit, but what happens in the midst of the activities of your home should be fulfillment of these six things. You know what happens in a home? What you're eating together, you're cleaning, you're you're working, you're reading, you're studying, You're sleeping in a home, you know, you're listening to music. Maybe you're watching a film or maybe there's a computer in front of you, but there are lots of things that happen in a home. These are the things that fill a home.

This is sort of like the medium within which all the activities of a home exist. You know, a home is like a bubble. People say, oh, you're living in a bubble. Well guess what? Everybody's living in a bubble.

Let this be your bubble, okay? This is a great bubble to live in. You know, when people say that to me, they, I've heard, oh Scott, you're just living in your little bubble. The first thing that usually comes to mind is, well, I like my bubble better than yours. But I want my bubble to be like this.

So these are the things that will steer your life through all the various contours of your life and this is a battleground that drives out the devil from a home but remember it begins in the heart it begins on what you meditate on so if you want to create a culture like this, here's what you got. Whatever is true, that's the first of the six. Whatever is true, filling your home with the things that are true, fill up your home with the knowledge of the will of God and the source of truth is the Word of God which means that the central epistemological category in your home is the Word of God. You know, if you have time to read other things, go ahead and read them but don't leave out the Word of God because it's the most critical thing. You know, David said the law of the Lord is perfect and it converts the soul.

He says, the testimony of the Lord is sure, and it makes wise the simple. He said, the statutes of the Lord are right, and they rejoice the heart, and the commandments of the Lord are pure, and they enlighten the eyes. The fear of the Lord is clean and endures forever. And then he says, there more to be desired than gold, even more than much fine gold, and sweeter also than honey in the honeycomb. If you want sweetness and wealth in your home, you get it by the Word of God.

So he says whatever is true, fathers are protectors and directors of the truth And I pray that your son is standing right next to you saying, amen. I'm standing with you, dad. I want to fill my home with the truth. Let me help you do it. I'm supporting you.

I'm behind you. When your Bible cracks open, I want to be the first in line. Whatever is true in thought, Christianity places a high value on truth, right? Jesus says, I am the way, the truth, and the life. But truth fills a home when lying and misrepresentation and exaggeration dies in a home.

You know, you think about the music that you listen to. Here's my advice. Only listen to music that has truth, that is true. Music that has falsehood and it should not, should be thrown out of your house. That's my opinion.

Same thing with films. Evaluate everything on the basis of truth and fill your home with truth. Do not fill your home and your mind with lies. Whatever you listen to, whatever you watch, fills your mind and you know whatever is true in your reading, whatever is true in your singing, in your conversation, and wherever is Kevin Swanson in the room, and your whole and your curriculum. Let it be true.

That's why I love Kevin's curriculum because he wants the truth in the curriculum. But you need, you know, homes need gatekeepers and protectors of truth. And you know there's a flip side to this. You know the Apostle Paul said, let no corrupt word proceed from your mouth but only what is good and necessary. You know Jeremiah said, do not learn the way of the Gentiles or walk in their ways.

So in the midst of all the things that happen in the home, the eating, the cleaning, the reading, the studying, the sleeping, the music, whatever it is, whatever is true, set your mind on those things. Whatever is true. Fill your home with the truth. Truth is beautiful. Secondly, whatever is noble.

The ESV and the NASB translate this honorable. It means the same thing. But what he's talking about are things of importance as opposed to things that are frivolous. If you are Meditating on the things that are noble, it means that you are meditating on the things that have weight and significance, not frivolous, not silliness, not worthlessness. One commentator says that these, the word means serious, sublime, dignified, majestic, or august.

That's what that word means. So filling your home life with things of significance, not silliness. We live in a silly world with silly people that spend their days looking and listening to silly things. And the Apostle Paul is here arguing against those things. And, you know, dedicate the hours of your life as a family to things of significance.

Now when I was talking to my wife this morning about this, I said, Devra, you know, How did we work that out? And she said something that I think you're probably gonna find strange and you're thinking that you might think that this is just really over-the-top. But she reminded me of something. In the morning, We didn't allow our children to come downstairs in their pajamas, okay? My daughters came down beautiful, ready for life, okay?

And my son came down, you know, ready for war. Because we were going to be ready for stuff, okay? Because when the day started, we were going to be ready to rumble. Okay? We're going to do serious stuff.

We're going to go for it. We're going to do stuff. And we're not lounging around. The day started. So that's that's what we did.

You know, as we did that, we found out that actually had a practical effect because sometimes people would show up at our house early in the morning, you know. And, you know, nobody ever caught us in our pajamas, okay. So, what whatever is noble, honorable Okay? So, whatever is noble, honorable, of dignity and weight and significance, Meditate on those things and build a family culture of things that are significant and that have a positive impact in the world. The next, number three, whatever is just.

Again, the New American Standard Version and the NIV translate this, whatever is right, it means the same thing. Whatever is right. And what I'm just appealing to all of us is the proposition that fathers are directors and protectors of what is right. That's justice. Justice and rightness.

And this has to do with a home where children are taught what is right and what is wrong. Abraham was set aside by God to teach his children justice so that they would know when they went out into the gates how to weigh in on what was right and just so that you have a family that knows what's right and we live in a world right now where people don't even know what's right they can't even figure out what gender they are. This is not new. This is not new. Okay.

It's astonishing to us but it's not new. You remember Nineveh? Nineveh was probably a place a lot like modern America with the transgender revolution rolling and all this other stuff where people can't figure out whether they're male or female, okay? Because it says about the Ninevites that they didn't know their right hand from their left. That's pretty, that's a pretty fundamental reality shift and disconnect, isn't it?

We're in the midst of one of the most profound reality shifts in the history of America, okay, where people can't figure out the the most obvious thing. You know, Martin Luther used to say, you know, it was kind of sarcastically, you know, when he was talking about being fruitful and multiplying and how you're made for this. And Martin Luther sarcastically said, just look at yourself man, you can tell what you're made for. What's right, what is true and right and what is just. And you know, this is why it's so critical that we restore the practice of fathers and sons walking together so that fathers can show their sons what's right.

You know, I tried to do that when I was raising my son. I tried to take him everywhere I went when he got a certain age. His mama said, here are the books, he's yours. And I took him and I took him everywhere I went and if I was meeting with various men we were all I was always asking him questions what he thought about that meeting was there justice was there righteousness was there foolishness did he trust that man what What was right or wrong about what we observed? And I would ask him those questions.

I was teaching him what was right and how to determine what was right and wrong, what was just and what was unjust. And I took my son with me. And I would just encourage you to do the same, to walk with your sons. You know, this is what the Bible actually commands fathers to do, to walk and talk with their sons when they sit in the house, when they walk by the way, when they lie down, and when they rise up. You know, this is what Jesus did with his disciples.

He walked with them, he talked with them, He was on lonely roads with them, He was on mountains with them, He was in the cities with them, He was in boats with them, He walked with them. That's what Jesus did with His disciples and that's what you should do with your disciples. And walk with your sons. Don't let your sons walk with silly boys. They just become sillier.

But if they walk with men, they become like men early. And I just so highly commend it to you. You know, My son was tempted, just like every son, is just to run around with every other silly boy in the world. And I didn't want him to spend too much time with silly boys, his own age. He had great friends his own age, but I limited it.

And it was hard for him to understand sometimes how closely I wanted him to walk with me because I want him to walk really close with me. I want him to be at my side most of the time and I made up an acronym for him to help him understand why I wanted to do that and it was the acronym power P-O-W-E-R and I used that acronym to try to explain how critical it was that he walked beside me and P stood for proximity. Proximity to me is the best place for him to get wisdom. O, observation. When he's with me and we're standing together and we're with other men talking, I want him to be making observations.

Not just looking around, you know, but making observations. W. Wisdom. Listen for wisdom. E, eye contact.

When a man is speaking, you look at him in the eye. R, relationship. Some of these people we want to have a relationship with maybe for a long time, maybe for the rest of our lives and you know some of the men that are my friends today I want my son to be the friends of their sons so that they can keep going in building the kingdom of heaven together. So I made up that acronym for him because it's critical that fathers and sons walk together. And my belief was that My sons were better off walking with me than anybody else.

I don't know, whoever came up with the idea that 13 year olds, hanging around 13 year olds is a good idea. I don't think that's a very good idea. Maybe somebody does, but I don't. I think it's a stupid idea. So, whatever is just, whatever is right and then, fourthly, whatever is pure.

Whatever is pure. Let your mind dwell on these things. Fathers are gatekeepers and protectors of purity in the home. Now, the word that Paul uses here for pure is the same word that he uses for holy. Separate.

Something different. Pure. And, you know, a home should be a place where the faces are turned away from impurity. You know to be holy means to be separate and different, to do different things than other people. And it's the responsibility that a Father has to build affections for the things that are pure and a rejection of the things that are impure.

You know, David said, I will set no unclean thing before my eyes." You know, people who are addicted to pornography are addicted to pornography because of something else. It's because they don't cut off impure things upstream from pornography. And so they might throw away their pornography for a while but they didn't cut off impurity upstream from pornography and they let their eyes rest and their ears hear things that lit little fires of passion and they ended up back in pornography. You know I was talking to a pastor friend of mine a while back because some pastors and I got together and we did a session on how elders should deal with pornography in their churches and we were having this discussion. But I called one of my friends and asked him what, just kind of what he would say And he said, his observation is that men often put the wrong label on their experience of pornography and they say things like, well, you know, if you ask them how you're doing, they say, well, I'm doing a little bit better but I'm still struggling.

You know what he says to the men like that, men who say that? He says, you know what the definition of an addict is? It's a person who keeps going back. So he says, you're not struggling, You're an addict. And you need to put the right name on this.

If you don't name it right, you'll never get out of it. Whatever is pure, I will set no unclean thing before my eyes. No sexual innuendo. You know, how much sexual innuendo do you think there is in non R-rated movies? A lot out of control.

A lot out of control, whatever it is. Here's my, here's my appeal. Set no unclean thing before your eyes. Get rid of it, throw it away. What did Jesus say?

Gouge out your eye, cut off your hand. You can't get more extreme than that. All I'm saying is just throw it away. Jesus says gouge out your eye. So, whatever is pure, set your mind on these things.

You know, I did a conference a few years ago on holiness and I think I had like 25 speakers come and talk about holiness and I spent the whole year just reading and meditating on the whole doctrine of holiness and here's what I ended up with after reading everything I could in the Bible and outside of the Bible about the doctrine of holiness. Holiness is happiness. God's holiness and its chief manifestation is everlasting joy. Holiness is happiness. If you wanna have a happy home, set no unclean thing before your eyes and whatever is pure let your mind dwell on those things and whatever is impure get rid of it.

Number five, whatever is lovely. Whatever is lovely. Now, Lovely is actually two Greek words. It's like a word picture. It's...

Of course, it's the word love and the word toward are together. Lovely, toward, toward love. Whatever is toward love, that's the idea that's there. And one commentator says that, interprets it this way, that which calls forth love, that which is love-inspiring. So, whatever, in other words, lean everybody in your family toward love.

And, you know, drawing everyone toward love, Fostering endearment toward one another, helping one another to find endearment in one another. Lean everybody toward love. That's what fathers are supposed to do. Sons, would you help your dads do that? Like, would you link arms with them and say, let's have a family where we're we're inciting love we're nourishing endearment toward one another we're stirring up love you know fostering these things you know the law of kindness on your lips saying please and thank you and not arguing with one another, not challenging one another, but submitting to one another.

You know, caring for one another. You know, toward love. You know, get this family pointed toward love. Not selfishness, not running in different directions but toward love. You know, one of the things that we didn't allow around our dinner table was to speak mean things about other people, especially, especially in our church.

One of the best long-term investments you can make in your family is not to speak evil of other people. Because when you do that, you form in them an inclination of their heart towards slander, toward dissatisfaction with people. And You, in feeble, you hamstring your children for love when you do that in your house. When you're running down, this person or that person just refuse to do it. The Bible says, don't speak evil of one another, brethren.

That's what James says. One of the tragic results of that in a home is that you find, you end up finding children that they can't be a part of a church because they can't be a part of imperfect people because they just have this tendency to criticize everybody and nobody's good enough for them. And so no church is ever good for them. And that's really bad actually. That's bad for them.

It's bad for people not to be in a local church, where there are all these different people. There's a godly kind of tolerance that God wants for us. But when you speak evil of people in your church or in your community, you're just ensuring that those children will have an inclination away from love. An inclination away from love. But here he says, toward love, incite love, inspire love.

You know, remember what the Apostle Paul said about love? He said two things in 1 Corinthians 13. First of all, he said, without love, you ain't nothin'. That's what he said. Like you can be so articulate, you can be so rich, so gifted, so amazing, but without love you're nothing.

That's what he said. And then he said, the greatest of these is love. If you want to have a culture in your home, then it really does come from inclining toward love. And that happens in a very specific way by the filling of the Holy Spirit because What is the fruit of the Spirit? It's love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

All of those things are various manifestations of love but they come from the filling of the Holy Spirit. And then finally, he says, whatever is of good report. You know, whatever is well spoken of and good, you know, speak about the good things that are out there. You know, it's easy to just have a complaining family. Oh, this is wrong with the world.

That's wrong with the world. Here's what's bad about that institution or this school and you just get nothing but a complaining family. He says, whatever is of good report. In other words, focus on what is of good report and that's not the same thing as putting in your head in the sand and ignoring the evils of the day. That's not what he's talking about.

He's talking about an inclination of your heart and what you're meditating upon. And how do you do it? These six things. Let your mind dwell on these things. You know, that means that it starts in the secretness place of your heart.

It's a secret virtue to foster these things. It begins in your heart and that means it's real, you know. It's not just foot put on. It's not a fake world that you're arranging. It's real.

It comes out of the wellspring of your own heart, which is why Solomon said, above all else, guard your heart. It's the wellspring of life. And so can you do this? Look at the last verse in this chapter. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.

Amen. It can happen when the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ is with you. You know, God is so kind to sanctify our families, to continue to heal us, to continue to give us ways of bringing His glory into the world, and he keeps on working on us. You know this really hit me hard just this year. A really remarkable thing happened in our family this year.

It just took our breath away. You know I one night at our church I was preaching on the doctrine of baptism and I concluded my message and I went and sat down and my dad who's 95 years old, he waves my fellow elder over to him and he says, Mike, I need your help. And he tells Mike why he needed help and then he says, Mike, go get my son. I need to talk to him too. And so Mike came over and got me and my dad said, Scott, I need your help.

I've been stubborn. I've been stubborn for years and I've known I've needed to do something about this, but I've just been stubborn. And I need your help." I said, Dad, what are you talking about? He said, Son, I've never been baptized as a believer. He said, I grew up in the Methodist Church and I got baptized when I was a baby but I've never been baptized as a believer and I know, I've known I should have done this a long time ago and I've just been stubborn.

Would you, would you baptize me? That's what he said. So I said, how come you never told us this? Nobody in the family knew that. You know, we were shocked.

We were floored, you know. I mean, we brought him into membership, but he was in a membership interview and we didn't figure out he hadn't been baptized as a believer so that was the situation so The next Sunday, eight men lifted my 95-year-old father into the baptistery and I baptized them. And I stood there in front of the church and I said, you know, God has given us all an opportunity in this moment just to scan our own hearts and ask, Is there anything I'm holding back? Is there anything I'm being stubborn about? But our church got to see a 95 year old man where the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ came upon him and helped him to humble himself.

Can you imagine how humbling that was? To humble himself and say, I've been stubborn, I've been sinning. Would you help me? And that's really the hope that there is for every home. And I pray that God gives great assistance for the healing of any divisions that exist in your homes, for creating a culture of rejoicing together, for a life of praying together, for filling your homes with the very best things, for whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report, let your mind dwell on these things.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.