How can reformation in the family be handled poorly?

Curt Daniels explains in this video that there are incorrect ways to approach reformation. We cannot attempt self-reform our own lives.  

We must turn to the Bible and plead for the Holy Spirit to affect our hearts. However, some people bypass that and instead of relying on the Spirit, they use their own efforts. This is doomed to failure or to produce a counterfeit. 

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV) - "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Well, just like some people attempt self-reformation rather than with the help of the Spirit, That could also happen in a family. Well, we'll do it our way, and then here come the opinions. I read something, I heard something, it seems to me. No, we have to go to the Bible, but as one of the reformers says, the Bible is a dead letter without the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians says that.

So we turn to the Bible, we plead for the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts to affect this family Reformation. Some people bypass that. Instead of their spirit, they use their spirit, their efforts, it's doomed to failure or produces a counterfeit.