How can fathers more effectively discuss spiritual matters with their children?

Joel Beeke explains in this video that as a father, it is important to gently and lovingly discuss theological matters with your children. He recommends that fathers ought to ask questions to a child at their age level or just a bit above it. Asking them questions about a specific passage or verse is an ideal way to do this.

Your questions should be asked in love, with good eye contact, and with care. After reading a Scripture passage, you can ask questions to your child like, “Have you ever had that happen in your life before?” You can also share examples and instances from your own life. Additionally, you can encourage your children to think about that verse or encourage them to ask God to teach them.

Deuteronomy 6:6-8 (NKJV) – “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.”

You must always probe a child at the level or slightly above the level where the child is at to stretch him a little bit. Don't probe him by asking him questions that are way above his level. But the Q&A method is the best probing technique. But the Q&A must be asked in a lot of love. The child must not feel put on the spot, intimidated, threatened.

Ideally, there's good eye contact between the father and the child. There was a warm expression on his face. And so let's say the chapter is, I don't know, Job 23, where Job says, when he's tried me, I shall come forth as gold. Well, how do you approach an eight-year-old with that? An eight-year-old's not going to understand that concept.

So you explain about the goldsmith and how he kept working with the gold until he sees his own face in the gold, and how he heated up the gold and got it to be purified. And the gold, the dross comes to the surface, he scoops it out, and all he's got is gold left. And then you say, well, that's what the Lord does in our lives through trials and problems. He takes away our sin and he makes us humble before him. He teaches what sin is and how bad it is.

And So, dear Esther, can you think of any time in your life where you've had problems and things that were difficult and you took it to God and God helped you hate sin more and love Jesus more? And you just wait for an answer. If she doesn't give you an answer, then you say, well, I can tell you a time in my life. You don't keep probing endlessly, but you say, think about that, you know, and maybe you can think of something later. Or ask God to teach you when you have hard times or difficult times at school, ask God to teach you to use those trials so that you may hate sin more and love Jesus more.

And that you will too come forth as gold and honor him. Because that's what it means to be gold, that God can see his own image in his work in you. And that's what you want in your life, you see. Ask God for that all the time, that he can see his own image in you. You know what, Esther?

There is a minister in the 18th century by the name of Thomas Boston and he made a resolution. He vowed to God in his diary. He put down, Lord, wherever I go, I want to leave the aroma of Christ behind, the smell of Christ. So when people see him and hear him, they feel like they've been with Jesus. Wouldn't that be wonderful if people would say that about you, about me?

That's the way I Talk to my kids.