What happens when pastors struggle with the fear of man? Paul Thompson shares an example from his own life where, because of his obedience to God, certain things occurred that negatively impacted his reputation within the community. Through this experience, God showed him that he was concerned more about his reputation rather than being grateful for God’s blessings. God was feeding, clothing, and providing everything he needed. God alone was sufficient. God also revealed how foolish it was to try to be a protector of his own reputation. Instead of seeking to protect his reputation, he ought to have proclaimed the truths of Scripture no matter the consequences, even if his reputation suffered as a result. Though it was a humbling experience, he realized how futile it was to try to take it into his own hands to protect his own reputation, and was thankful for God mercifully steering him back to the truth. Proverbs 29:25 (NKJV) – “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.”

Due to some circumstances that I had found myself in, really just in a path of obeying the Lord, some things that began to happen that impacted my reputation in the community, that was all unfounded, but it was having this kind of an impact upon me. So in my pursuit of wanting to be a follower of the Lord, I began to see inside of me in my core a selfishness for wanting to protect my reputation. And so in regard to these things that were happening, while I was traveling through Interstate 80 in Wyoming, in the vast barren land of Southern Wyoming, came under heavy warning from the Lord of my desire to want to selfishly protect my reputation and in reality That God was wanting me to see is that Paul even though it appears as though your reputation is being trashed and ruined by your attempt to do good and to honor me in the care of orphans in a foreign land, here's something that I'm going to do, here's something I was doing for you. During those moments whenever your reputation was being ruined, I was feeding you, I was clothing you, I was providing everything you needed.

And my response in that little season of time was largely a response of complaint to God. The fear of God showing me how foolish it is for me to want to be a protector of my reputation, Not a protector or not a proclaimer of the glory of God, but a protector of Paul Thompson's reputation because of who Paul Thompson wanted to present or represent to people. And God giving a serious reality and acknowledgement in my heart that your pursuit of your own selfish desires here are crippling what I want to do in this good thing that I did by ruining your reputation or by causing this what you appear to what appears in your mind to be a crushing of who you think you are. But let me show you all along here I've been sufficiently taking care of you and I have provided for everything that you need in your life. That brought a severe humbling upon me, almost to the point of being completely crushed.

I would even say in my discussions with my wife and relationships, she's in the vehicle with me while this is happening to me in this reality of what's going on and it's probably as close as I've ever come to a physical nervous breakdown of the reality of God's beautiful provision for me and how I completely ignored it in an attempt to want to protect who I wanted to present to people. So it was a beautiful thing. It was a nearly crushing, debilitating encounter with God, but sweet and good in every respect.