In this audio message, Mike Davenport discusses how we can edify others by our words. James 3 has much to say about the power of the tongue. Throughout the course of this message, he brings out three lessons that we can learn from this chapter. We must exercise mastery of our words.

James 3:1-3 (NKJV) - "My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body."

We now turn our attention to edifying with the tongue or edification of the tongue. And as I begin this and we think about the tongue, our minds run to James chapter 3. And as I stand here, I am gripped with the soberness of what James says in the opening words of James 3, my brethren let not many of you become teachers knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. So by the very nature of me standing up here to begin with, it's a sobering thing. But then to think that I'm getting ready to talk about the edification of the tongue adds another level of sobriety.

For he goes on to say, for we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. And I stand before you tonight as an imperfect man, finding my perfection in Jesus Christ, whose words are life. But James goes on to tell us that these things ought not to be, that from our mouth should not flow things that bless and things that curse. And then he ends the chapter in terms of talking about heavenly wisdom, and that's what we need.

We need heavenly wisdom. And so what I want to do tonight is bring three passages to our attention. Three passages. Each passage itself will be the points. So my three points will be these three different texts that I just want us to walk through.

So if you would turn first to Colossians chapter 4 and verse 6. Verse six. Paul writing to the believers at Colossae says this, let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." So let your speech always be with grace. First, you must exercise mastery over your speech. You must exercise mastery over your speech.

You are to be the gatekeeper. What goes out of your mouth must be controlled. He says, let your speech. You're the gatekeeper. You must exercise mastery over your speech.

But he also says your speech must be accompanied by grace. It must be accompanied by grace. Always. Always. Not some of the time, not most of the time, let your speech always be with grace.

Grace is to be the constant companion of your speech. See to it that every word that proceeds from your mouth does so hand in hand with grace and not without." Now, what does he mean here by always be with grace? Grace here in the original is that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, and loveliness. So that your speech should always afford joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm and loveliness. That should be the parenthesis of your speech with grace.

And note this, No one gives out grace better than the one who recognizes that they are a recipient of great grace." But Paul goes on to say, let your speech be seasoned with salt. Seasoned with salt. The word seasoned here meaning made savory. And salt being a symbol of lasting peace and agreement, because it protects the relationship from putrefaction and preserves the relationship unchanged. Salt preserves, it protects, it cleanses.

Made savory with salt. Just because something is true, that does not grant you the license to speak it. You must ask, is this gracious? Is it gracious? Is it pure?

Is this protecting and preserving the relationship? And part of that protection, the act of that salt in beating back putrefaction is a protection of that relationship. Covering sin does not help a relationship. And sometimes that salt needs to help in terms of bringing out that putrefaction. But it's coming within these walls of grace.

Use your salt as seasoning. Use this salt that it's speaking of as seasoning. We live in a society that uses the tongue to inflict wounds, And then the old saying, pouring salt on the wounds. But that's not the kind of salt that we're talking about, this pouring of salt upon wounds that were inflicted by our very tongues. The salt is intended to make our speech savory.

And then we see that you may know how you ought to answer each one. To know how you ought to answer each one. That is to say that you may perceive with your senses how to properly begin to speak to each and every one." You see, salty grace, I'm going to call it salty grace. Salty grace equips us to answer correctly. If you respond without grace, without an eye towards seasoning and preserving a relationship, then you are not responding in an appropriate manner.

If you want to know how to properly respond to someone, permeate your words with grace and sprinkle them with salt. What a beautiful picture Paul paints for us. But also realize this, this is a supernatural process. This is a supernatural process as we give way to grace, to God's grace in our lives, our knowledge, our perception lays hold of what is right and what is proper. You know we began the evening by discussing the transforming of the mind.

Without this transformation there will be no presentation of the body, specifically hear the tongue, to the Lord. It just doesn't come naturally. It's supernatural. We must be transformed in order to rightly recognize that we need to lay our tongues on the altar of our God to do that which is pleasing to Him. So Colossians 4, 6, let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

Now flip a few pages back to Ephesians 4, 29. Again, thinking of the edification of the tongue in light of not being of this world. Ephesians 4.29, Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouths, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. So let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth. You must guard your speech.

As we saw back in Colossians 4, you're to be a gatekeeper. In Colossians 4, we saw that as the gate is open so that grace may be sent forth, so the gate must be closed to ensure that corrupt words do not proceed from our mouth. We are to be raising the gates and lowering the gates in terms of what's proceeding from our mouths. Often we raise the gates when we should be closing them, and closing the gates when we should be opening them. And realize that the issue of the tongue is ultimately an issue of the heart.

Remember the teaching of Christ, that It is what comes out of our hearts that defiles us. So trying to clean up our speech is not enough. It's not enough just to cover our mouths and bite our tongue. Not saying that that's not needful sometime, but we need more than that. It's an issue of the heart.

We need a work of the Spirit in our heart. Young ladies, what proceeds from your mouth? Corrupt words or what is good? Be gatekeepers. Secondly, Paul tells us here the negative, let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what should proceed?

What is good for necessary edification that it may impart grace to the hearers. So here we see the purpose of our speech. The purpose of our speech is edification. It's edification. What we gathered from Colossians 4 is how speech is to be packaged, is to be packaged with grace.

Here we see the purpose of that packaging, edification, and realize that it's not what we deem edifying, often we think we know what is edifying. Sometimes we argue that maybe we shouldn't confront that person about their sin because that wouldn't be edifying. Or we think, if I tell them that, they will become proud about it. So it's not always what we deem, but Paul says what is necessary for necessary edification. What's needful?

And so we have to be thinking. We just can't say what's on our minds. We have to make sure that no corrupt word is coming out, lower the gates, but we have to make sure that what is coming out, where the gates are raised, is needful, necessary edification. We see not only the purpose of our speech, good for necessary edification, but we see the target of our speech, the target of our speech. We have an audience.

There are these hearers that are hearing our speech. And here we see that package of grace-filled speech opened and received. Grace filled speech is imparting speech. Grace filled speech is imparting speech. Here's the tie back to Colossians 4 again.

Speech adorned with grace, imparting grace to the hearers. Grace given, grace received. The word impart here means to supply or furnish. To supply or furnish, to supply grace, to furnish grace to the hearers. Now this obviously means something very important.

You can't supply what you don't have. You won't furnish what you are unwilling or unable to give. So that's the connection. We need to always, with grace, be speaking. And that grace needs to be imparted to the hearer.

So my question to you young ladies, are your hearers truly, because of your speech, recipients of grace? Are your hearers, the audience in front of you, when those words come from your mouth, are they truly recipients of grace? Paul said this is the measure, this is the rule. What should come forth from your mouth is only what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. Lastly, I would ask you to turn to Proverbs This is a father-daughter retreat.

So men, these words are as much for us as they are for our daughters. But they are for our daughters as well. And young ladies, I want you to see this connection with the Proverbs 31 woman, a godly woman. You know, Solomon has a lot to say about what Jason's going to be speaking about tomorrow. Solomon has a lot to say about the industry of this woman.

She's an industrious woman. You just look through it. She seeks, she brings, she rises, she provides, she considers, she girds, she perceives, she stretches out her hands, she extends her hands, she reaches, She makes, she does all of these things. She's an industrious woman. But here, in the middle of it all, he has this one thing to say about her speech in Proverbs 31, 26.

She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. It's the only thing he really talks about in terms of her speech, clearly, specifically. This is the only thing he really talks about, but boy is it packed. So let's unpack it.

She opens her mouth with wisdom. So first of all we see she's not silent. She's not silent. She does communicate. You know the quiet spirit that Peter talks about in his second epistle does not translate into or insinuate silence on her part.

That quiet spirit does not mean, Don't say anything, just always quiet. No, this woman, this godly woman, opens her mouth, she speaks. But we see wisdom. Secondly, wisdom is at work. She opens her mouth, but wisdom is at work.

So when she does speak, wisdom is engaged. Wisdom acts as the muscles to loosen the jaws. Wisdom is as it were in the driver's seat. Often when we speak, or I'll personalize it, often when I speak, wisdom is not in the driver's seat. What is in the driver's seat often when our mouths open?

Anger, jealousy, or folly, silly things. She opens her mouth with wisdom. I want to give you Jeff Pollard's definition of wisdom. I can't remember where he got it from, but he actually gave it in talking from Titus about young men being sober. And he gave this definition of wisdom, which I like.

Wisdom is navigating life skillfully. Navigating life skillfully. And just as an aside, he defines prudence as wisdom with caution. Prudence is wisdom with caution. In other words, navigating life skillfully with caution.

This is what it is. It's navigating life skillfully. When she opens her mouth, she's navigating skillfully through all the affairs. And she has to because she's an industrious woman. Her mouth is important.

Her mouth is important. When you go back and look at all that she does, try to imagine her doing that without her ever opening her mouth. It's impossible. When this woman decides to speak, I submit to you that all around wait upon her words, for they anticipate words of wisdom. So young ladies, when you open your mouth to those around you, I can't wait to hear what she has to say because wisdom, grace, is imparted.

Wisdom is seen. In Job 29 and 21 it says, Men listened to me and waited and kept silence from my counsel. After my words they did not speak again, and my speech settled on them as due. They waited for me as for the rain, and they opened their mouth wide as for the spring rain." Young ladies, is that your testimony? Are you known for speech full of wisdom, or is your speech full of folly or anger or jealousy or things that are simply passing away?

But not only, Solomon says, does she open her mouth with wisdom, but on her tongue is the law of kindness. On her tongue is the law of kindness. So we see first here a readiness, a preparedness. The use of the word tongue signifies an engaging in speech. I mean that's pretty obvious.

On her tongue. She's engaging in speech here. And whatever is on her tongue, as these words are here, whatever is on her tongue will be in synchronization with her tongue. So if something's on your tongue, then it is set in motion by the movement of your tongue. It just is.

And so there's a readiness, a preparedness that we see here that as her tongue moves, there's something on her tongue that moves in synchronizing motion as she speaks. What is it? Kindness. We see kindness at work. Solomon says that what it is that's in synchronization with her tongue is kindness.

Kindness. The Hebrew word here is translated most often in the Old Testament as mercy. Mercy And it's also translated as kindness, loving kindness, and goodness. So that's what's on her tongue. Mercy.

Kindness. Loving kindness. Goodness. So that when she speaks, guided by this wisdom, these things are set in motion. And thirdly, we see here a binding nature, a binding nature.

It's not just kindness that is all in her tongue. It's the law of kindness, the law of kindness. There's a binding nature. The use of this word law seems to indicate that this kindness, that this binding nature of this kindness, it brings it upon the tongue so that kindness regulates like the law does. It regulates the operation of the tongue.

Kindness is not here occasional. Oh yes, I'm kind with my tongue. No, there's a law of kindness upon this woman's tongue. It rules this kindness, this law of kindness. It sets the boundaries.

It is ever present as a standard. This is how my tongue will operate under this law, under this standard. Young ladies, what law is on your tongue? What law is on your tongue? What regulates it?

What binds it to say this is what shall be loosed? What rule, what standard does your tongue operate under? So the Bible has much to say about the tongue. Proverbs has a lot to say about the tongue. We don't have time for it all.

But I just wanted to set these apart for us. So, you know, you young ladies growing up in godly homes, the kind of speech that comes from your house, from your tongues, in your house, is not like the speech of the world. But as I said in the preface in the beginning of the night, is it otherworldly? That's my question. Is your speech otherworldly?

Because we can, under the roof of our homes and our pleasant surroundings, not sound like the world, but are we sounding like Christ? Is there grace? Is there wisdom? So I have the following applications. First of all, do not take the use of your tongue too lightly.

We must give an account for our words as well as our deeds. In Matthew 1237 Jesus says, for by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned. You must think about your words in light of this last day. Will your words cry out, justified? Or will your words cry out, condemned?

They must cry out. They will cry out. Do not take the use of your tongue too lightly. Secondly, do not apply the use of speech too narrowly. What do I mean by that?

In our culture, in our day, the duty to use the tongue for edification now applies to telephones, to cell phones, to social media, to emails, to text messages. We can use our tongues, we can speak words without anybody being around when we get online or we're holding our phone in our hand. So do not apply the use of speech too narrowly. Okay? It applies to these things.

This is communication. And these communications that we give out should abide by these same verses that we just considered. Are you managing the use of your, quote unquote, tongue on these devices? Thirdly, do not underestimate the impact of the tongue. Do not underestimate the impact of the tongue.

Proverbs 15 4 says that a wholesome or healthy tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit. So an edifying tongue is a healing tongue, and it is a tree of life to all who will find shade, shelter, and sustenance under its branches. Within the reach of the power of the tongue are things that give life, but also things that destroy. We are, note this, we are by the use of our tongue doing one of these two things. We are giving life or we're destroying.

That's it. We are doing One of these two things. There's no neutral ground. Fourthly and lastly, Do not fall short of the grace that truly makes you not of this world. That's the title of this weekend, Not of this World.

But simply just checking this off and checking this off and doing this and doing that, it's not ultimately going to make you not of this world. So it's of grace. Now these things that we've been talking about, they apply to all of you. It applies to all of you fathers, me included, but it applies to our daughters. And it applies whether we are Christians or not.

This is what God says should be. These are His laws. But having said that, the reality is that they flow most easily and naturally from the lips, the mouths of the daughters of God. So as you consider the edifying use of the tongue, do not forget that from this same tongue need to flow the following things. Romans 10, 9, and 10.

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Philippians 2, 9-11, Therefore God also has highly exalted Jesus Christ and given him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven and of those on earth and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Thirdly, 1 Peter 2.9, 3. But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, his own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." And then fourthly, Hebrews 12, 13, and 14, speaking of those that are in that great chapter who showed such great faith. It says, these all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, were assured of them, embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland, that they're not of this world. They confess Christ as Lord and Savior. They confess their own heart, the belief of it to be placed fully in Him. And as such, they declare his praises because he has called them out of darkness into his marvelous light and they confess I'm not of this world I am NOT of this world I'm seeking one to come So young ladies do these things flow from your lips? These things that we just talked about, do they flow from your lips?

Confessing him as Lord, confessing him as your hope, confessing that He is to receive all praise and confessing you're headed for a homeland not made by human hands. Is that your confession? If not, cry out to the Lord for such a heart, for such a heart to be able to make these confessions with your mouth. And for those of us who know Christ, may God give us grace to offer our tongues a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto God so that our speech is not conformed to the speech of this world, but transformed so that We may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God, and so that all around us will know that we are not of this world. Pray with me.

Oh Father, give us grace, give us grace to be able to confess Jesus as Lord and as our Lord, and to confess that Because of that, you've given us a destination that is truly our home and help us to live as strangers. When people hear us speak, to think of us as strangers because we are pilgrims having not found our home yet. Keep our feet on that path and may wisdom and grace flow from our lips. In Christ's name we pray, amen.