The sermon 'Temptations Facing Husbands and Wives' by Scott LaPierre discusses the various struggles and temptations that husbands and wives face in their marriage. LaPierre emphasizes the importance of focusing on one's own weaknesses and turning frustrations into prayer. He explains that a spouse's relationship with Christ directly influences their relationship with their husband or wife, as the way they treat their spouse is a reflection of their relationship with Christ. LaPierre also highlights the significance of God establishing headship before the fall, as it demonstrates that headship is part of God's natural, healthy, divine plan for marriages. The sermon also delves into the different temptations that husbands and wives may face, such as wives being tempted to control and nag their husbands, and husbands being tempted to be stubborn.

Probably 17 years ago, I was teaching on marriage in this interactive setting. I was in a gentleman's living room and different people were raising their hands and asking questions or sharing things. This one woman, most of the people did this sitting down. So this one woman raised her hand and I call on her, and she stands up. And so I'm taken back a little bit, I'm like, okay, this is going to be serious.

And what she does is she begins berating her husband in front of everyone in the room. And she's just going up one side of him and down the other, saying, I'm not exaggerating, saying some of the very worst things that I've ever heard a woman say about her husband. And there are probably a handful of really good things that I could have done at that moment, like I could have said, why don't we talk about this after this Bible study is over? Or how about I meet with the two of you sometime this week and we can have some counseling together? Or I even could have said, you know, why don't we just stop right now and we'll all go ahead and pray for you." But because I was so shocked by what she did, I pretty much did the worst imaginable, which was this.

And the longer I stared with my jaw dropped open, the more criticism came out about her husband. So I committed at that time not having any idea, and I'm serious, not having any idea I'd ever talk about marriage again or do marriage conferences, that if God did ever give me another opportunity to talk about marriage, that I would begin my conferences or messages with a couple disclaimers. And that brings us to lesson one. As we begin, make the decision to, part one, focus on your weaknesses more than your spouses. Make the decision to focus on your weaknesses more than your spouses.

Let me ask you this. Is the standard that God sets for husbands and wives high? Okay. Some of you didn't respond because you just don't know, I guess. If you didn't say yes, that just means you're not familiar with that standard because it is an incredibly high standard that is set in God's word for husbands and wives.

Husbands are to be, as Scott just said, Christ to their wives and wives are to be what the church is to be to Christ. So if you're listening to what God says, if you're a wife and you're listening to what God says to husbands, what could start happening in your heart as you reflect on your husband's not being more like that? You start becoming resentful or frustrated. If you're a husband, you can be listening to what God says to wives, and you could start reflecting on how your wife isn't more like that. And so the point of marriage conferences is not to arm you to go home and have World War III, right?

We're not trying to equip you to go home with these missiles that you want to launch at each other because you're so angry about the different things that you heard and the ways that your spouse is not living up to what was taught. And so let's remember that we all have plenty of weaknesses. We're gonna keep our minds fixed on those things that we personally need to change. We're going to be focusing on our own struggles and not be thinking about what our husband or wife needs to do differently. Instead of focusing on what your spouse does wrong and how you shouldn't be treated the way that you think you're being treated or mistreated, ask this, how can I be a better husband to my wife?

How can I be a better wife to my husband? Is there anything I can do to make being married to me easier? If you can't think of an answer to that question, then you can repent of what sin? Pride, right? If you start to feel frustrated toward your spouse, there are two things you can do.

First, you can remember those times that you have failed and how much grace and forgiveness you have desired in those moments. And then the second thing that you can do is you can pray for your spouse. And this brings us to the next part of lesson one. As we begin, make the decision to, part two, turn your frustrations into prayer. Over these next few messages, take any frustrations that you feel toward your spouse and turn them into prayer for your husband or for your wife.

When you're reflecting on that area where your husband or wife needs to grow and you're becoming angrier at him or her for the way that they're acting, instead of becoming bitter and resentful, decide that you are going to pray for your spouse. Because here's the truth, there are so many things that husbands and wives will do toward their spouse versus pray for them, such as complain about them, criticize them, gossip about them, Find someone else that will feed that hostility that they're feeling toward their husband or wife. The most common response? Yell at our spouse. Threaten our spouse.

Or simply ignore our spouse. One of the most common ways that we mistreat our spouse is pouting. We're upset, and so we're just going to ignore them. We're going to be roommates instead of lovers. We're going to dwell in the same house together and simply ignore each other.

If we prayed for our spouses as much as we did these other things, how much differently do you think our marriages would look? One more thing to keep in mind, part three, recognize your marriage as a reflection of your relationship with Christ. Make this decision as we begin to recognize that your marriage is a reflection of your relationship with Christ. Let me ask you to think about something. Why do you treat your husband the way you do?

Why do you treat your wife the way that you do? The answer is this, because of your relationship with Christ. You treat your husband or wife the way you do because of your relationship with Christ. There is a lie that we can be tempted to believe at times and it's this, I can be a good strong mature Christian and a bad spouse. And that's absolutely a lie because our Christianity or our relationship with Christ determines what our relationship with our spouse looks like.

Or another way to say it is our relationship with our spouse is simply an outpouring or overflow of our relationships with Christ. The truth is that if we love Christ then we're going to do what? We're going to love our spouse. We're going to obey his commands. Let me briefly address the husbands first.

The primary command for husbands, love their wives just as Christ loves the church. So this is interesting. A husband does not love and cherish his wife because she's perfect, or because she treats him the way that he always wants to be treated or because she always respects him or because she submits so perfectly. A husband doesn't even love his wife because his wife is always so lovable. A husband loves his wife because he loves Christ.

The way we love and cherish our wives, gentlemen, it is not a reflection of our wives. The way we love and cherish our wives is a reflection of our relationships with Jesus himself. So if a man says, I am not, and I've heard this, I am not gonna love my wife, I am not going to cherish her because she, He is not making his wife look bad. He is not saying anything about his wife in that moment. He is saying an incredible amount about himself and an incredible amount about his relationship with Jesus.

Similarly, for wives, what's the primary command for you ladies? Okay, three of you know it. Submit to your husband. Wives, you are not expected to submit to your husband because he's perfect, Because he's always going to make the right decision, because he isn't always going to make the right decision. Because he loves you the way that you always want to be loved.

You're not expected to submit to your husband because he's always going to treat you the way that you want to be treated. Ladies, you submit to your husband because you want to submit to Christ. If a wife says, I am not going to submit to that man, he will not be the head of this family or this relationship, and I will not follow his lead, she might because, and then she lists all these terrible things about her husband. She's not saying much about her husband, but she is saying an incredible amount about herself and an incredible amount about her relationship with Jesus. This is why there's no such thing.

This does not exist. A spiritually mature, godly man who does not love his wife. Or a spiritually mature, godly woman who does not submit to her husband. If you are a husband, you cannot love Christ without loving your wife. If you are a wife, you cannot submit to Christ without submitting to your husband.

So, I'm going to make a little commitment to you as we begin. I am not going to try to convince you, brothers, that you should love and cherish your wives because they deserve it. And ladies, I am not going to try to convince you that you should submit to your husband because he deserves it. But I will ask you this, brothers, who deserves you loving your wife? Ladies, don't submit to your husband because he deserves it, but who does deserve your submission?

Not because of what your husband has done for you, but because of what Christ has done for you. The fact is we're all sinners, and if you expect a man to love his wife because of the way that his wife has acted, there's just gonna be those times where that husband's honest, he says, I don't feel like loving her. I am upset with her. She did this or she did that." And those times when the wife says, I don't want to submit to him. I am upset with him.

I haven't, or even legitimately, I haven't seen him read the word as much as I'd like so I can be convinced of the decisions he'll make. And in those moments, you cannot draw on your feelings, or emotions are a better way to say this, you cannot draw on your relationship with your spouse, because it's your relationship with your spouse that's causing you to not want to obey Christ's commands. You've got to draw on your relationship with Christ himself in those moments. Turn to Genesis 2 16. The Lord God commanded the man saying, of every tree of the garden, you may freely eat.

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die. We know these verses. In particular, notice it says that God commanded the man. Now, God gave the command to Adam before Eve was created, and he didn't have to do it this way. In fact, intuitively, we would probably expect that God would give this command to Adam and Eve after Eve had been fashioned from Adam.

But God did it this way so that Adam had to take the command and give it to Eve. And since Eve, follow me on this, had never heard the command from God himself, She was forced to do what with her husband? Trust him, submit to him. And this is part of God establishing Adam's headship in the relationship. If we had more time, we could go through this whole chapter and look at the multiple ways that God established Adam's headship prior to the fall.

And this brings us to lesson two. God created headship before the fall. And this is important because if you think that God created headship or established a husband's headship in the relationship after the fall, then you think it's the result of what? Sin. You think it's part of the curse.

But if you understand that headship existed prior to the fall, then you see it as part of God's natural, healthy, divine plan for husbands and wives. And now with Adam's headship established, look at Genesis 3.1 to see what Satan attacks with through these familiar verses quickly. The serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And notice this, he said to the woman, or the devil said to the woman, has God indeed said, you shall not eat of the tree, of the garden. They have this discussion, and then verse four, notice this, the serpent said to the woman for the second time, you will not surely die.

Now, notice the contrast between Genesis 2 16, which I had you look at a moment ago. The Lord God commanded the man, Genesis 3 1 and Genesis 3 4, the serpent said to the woman, God spoke to the man, the devil goes after the woman. He's attacking that headship. Verse 5, God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you'll be like God knowing good and evil. Now right here, Eve has a choice, doesn't she?

And what's the choice? Submit to her husband who gave her the command, and in essence submitting to pastor husband God himself, or submit to the devil. We know what happened. Verse 6, the woman saw the tree was good for food, pleasant to the eyes, the tree desirable to make one. Why?

She took the fruit, she ate, she gave to her husband with her and he ate. And now right here, guess who else has a choice? At least before he ate. Adam did. He's gonna obey God who gave him the command.

He's gonna submit to God or he's going to submit to his wife, right? And sadly, we know what happened here as well. Verse 9, the Lord called to Adam and said to him, where are you? And he said, I heard your voice in the garden. I was afraid because I was naked I hid myself.

And he said, still speaking to Adam, you could wonder, where is Eve? Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded that you should not eat? Verse 12, the man said, the woman you gave me, Scott referenced this earlier, pretty serious blame shifting right here. The woman you gave to be with me, you're talking to me, you should probably talk to her.

I think this happened and you had a lot to do with it and so did she. The two of you should go work this out. So you need to notice who did God hold responsible. Romans 5, 12 to 22, through one man's sin entered the world. By one man's offense, many died.

By one man's offense, death reigned. Through one man's offense, judgment came. By one man's disobedience, 1 Corinthians 15, 21. By man came death and Adam all died. I kind of read this and I'm like, Eve looked like she had a little more to do with it.

I mean, is there any mention of her here? It's like Adam, Adam, Adam, man, man, man, come on here, God, you know, she ate first. You can tell it's still a little sensitive to me. Now the fall's taken place, But the fact is this, and I don't want us to miss this. Why did God hold Adam responsible?

Because he's the head, and because he is responsible. Brothers, we are responsible for what takes place in our marriages. It doesn't matter if your wife eats first. We are responsible with what takes place in our homes. We are responsible with what takes place in our families and we cannot say, well the woman that you gave me made me do this.

The fall's taken place, sin's introduced into the world, and so Adam and Eve's relationship and every other relationship, by extension, throughout all of human history, is going to be vastly different because all of us have been given what from Adam, our parent? A sin nature. So marriage is going to look much different. Genesis 3, 16, and 17 discuss the curse that's put on all creation. We're gonna look at the part that deals with marriage.

The verses describe, these verses very succinctly describe what marriage looks like in a sin-filled or fallen world, or we could say what our marriages are going to look like or have to deal with. The fall affected both sides of the marriage relationship. We both received sinful natures. Now, as our world, which is already mentioned in the previous message, is trying to deny, not just blur, but deny the distinction or line between the genders. We need to maintain those distinctions.

We need to recognize the differences. And worst of all, it's not just in the world. Much of this is creeping into the church. And one of the ways in the church that we can continue to recognize the distinctions between men and women, husbands and wives, isn't just noticing the distinctions in the roles and responsibilities of them, but the temptations that each deal with. Men and women are different.

Part of those differences is facing different temptations that are stronger for men than for women, or stronger for women than for men. And look in verse 16 to see some of them. To the woman, God said, I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception. In pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.

In particular, notice the words, your desire shall be for your husband. Now, considering this is part of the curse and not part of a blessing, we know that God is not, we know what God is not saying. He's not saying that wives are going to desire their husbands in what? Some wonderful, loving, godly way, right? So what is the way in which wives will desire their husbands?

Well, I'm glad you asked that. Take a look at the next lesson here, lesson three. Wives are tempted to, part one, control their husbands. It's referring to a wife's desire to control her husband. Considering headship existed prior to the fall, submission also existed prior to the fall.

And we know that because submission existed within the triune nature of God himself, right? You've got the son submissive to the father, you've got the Holy Spirit submissive to the son and the father. So we have headship and by extension submission prior to the fall. How do you think Eve would have submitted to Adam had the fall not taken place? Joyfully, willingly, easily.

As a result of the fall, how will the wife submit to her husband? Difficultly, challengingly. One of the basic rules of Bible interpretation, I'd encourage you to remember for any time you're looking at the Scriptures, is if you're trying to determine the way a word should be understood, look at the same use of that word elsewhere in Scripture, but if you can, even elsewhere in that same book where that word is being used, and we see the same language, actually the same Hebrew word and the same Hebrew structure of the verse, one chapter to the right in Genesis 4, if you'd like to look there with me. This only occurs three times in scripture. One time in Song of Solomon, we won't look there, and then the other two uses are in Genesis 3 and then Genesis 4.

In Genesis 4, verse 4, we'll go through this quickly. Abel brought the firstborn of the flock and the fat. The Lord respected Abel and his offering. He didn't respect Cain and his offering. Cain was very angry.

His countenance fell. When Cain was rejected, he also faced a choice. He had the potential to humble himself and repent, or he had the choice to become proud and angry, and he became proud and angry. And God sees this happening with Cain. So very graciously, God warns Cain about what God sees transpiring in Cain's heart.

And he says to him in verse 6, why are you angry? And I believe God said this gently to him. Why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door and then notice this, its desire is for you but you should rule over it.

Now here's the question. God told Cain that sin desired him. What sort of desire did sin have for Cain? A very loving, compassionate, supportive desire. No, one to control his actions, cause him to do sinful things.

It's not to say that a wife always wants to control her husband for sinful reasons, but it is to say this. Just like sin had a desire to control Cain, wives have a desire to control their husbands. Just like Cain had to maintain authority, or we could even say headship over sin or have authority over it, husbands are supposed to maintain authority over their wives. The temptation for wives to control their husbands, it often manifests itself a certain way, and this brings us to the next part of lesson three. Wives are tempted to part two nag their husbands.

Ladies, you're doing very well. We are going to get to the husbands, okay? And gentlemen, you're doing really well too because when I just said, nag their husbands, none of you said, amen out loud. That was really good of you, really good. Keep that up.

We got more to go through. Okay. We have to think outside Genesis 3 to find the support for this temptation women face. Is there a book of the Bible that comes to mind that presents women nagging their husbands? Proverbs.

Proverbs. That was quick. That came out quickly. I didn't even have the chance to take a breath. Proverbs 19, 13, the contentions or nagging of a wife are a continual dripping.

Proverbs 29, 5 and 25, 24, better to dwell in a corner of a house top than in a house shared with a contentious or nagging woman. And the idea is a woman's nagging could be so bad, and I'm not joking, that a man would rather sit on the corner of a housetop and be exposed to incredibly bad weather and storms than be in the house with his wife. Proverbs 21, 19, better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious or nagging and angry woman. So this time it seems that a man would rather be out in the wilderness where he could be exposed to dangerous wild animals than be in the house with his nagging and contentious wife. Proverbs 27, 15 and 16.

I mean, who wrote these proverbs? He'd know, wouldn't he? His fault. You want to snag up 999 of them, then that's what you get. Proverbs 27, 15 and 16, a continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious or nagging woman or alike, whoever restrains her, restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand.

So this verse says you can't restrain a nagging wife. It's like trying to restrain the wind, obviously something you can't do, or restrain oil which just runs through your, restrain it with your hand, which would obviously run through your fingers. Why would it say that you cannot restrain a nagging wife? Because when you respond to a nagging wife, it just causes her to further... There's scared men that don't want to answer.

They're looking at like, Pastor Scott, if my wife was not sitting right next to me, I would answer you. But yeah, she's going to nag further. So it's describing this difficult situation. The definition of nagging, continually fault-finding, complaining or petulant, persistently recurring and unrelenting. And ladies, I want to ask you a tough question, and I will have a tough question for your husband as well.

Could your husband describe you that way? Now if you really want to know, I want to encourage you to have the humility when you get home tonight to ask him. Why come to a marriage conference and why go through these messages if we're not going to strive to apply this teaching? Why be like that man who looks at himself in the mirror, sees his hair is messed up and doesn't do anything about it? And so ladies have the humility to go home and say, Pastor Scott was talking about what a nagging wife can be like, and I just want to know, do you think I'm like that?

And when he answers, please don't nag him, ladies. Please don't get him so... I can just picture it, you know, the... Never mind, I'm gonna run out of time if I keep... I gotta Stick to my notes here.

One of the reasons nagging doesn't work actually relates to one of men's weaknesses. Men struggle with stubbornness. Lesson four, husbands are tempted to part one be stubborn. Very, what? When I said, men struggle with stubbornness, gentlemen, very good.

None of you yelled out, no we don't. The definition of stubborn, unreasonably obstinate, obstinately unmoving, fixed or set in purpose or opinion, difficult to manage or suppress, stiff, difficult to work with. Brothers, what I want you to ask your wives tonight. Pastor Scott was talking about husbands struggling with stubbornness. Do you think I struggle with stubbornness?

And do your very best to swallow what your wife shares with you. Receive it humbly. Ask for forgiveness. Pray for repentance and victory in this area. Now follow me for a moment.

Genesis 1, six times, at the end of each day, God says, or it says that God saw that it was good. One point God looks out and it says that God saw something that was not good and what was that? Yeah, man being alone. So we get Genesis 2.18, the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him.

It is interesting to read this about something being not good prior to what? Prior to the fall, right? We don't normally think of anything being not good until after the fall. So when it says not good, it doesn't mean that Adam had done anything that was wrong or that there was anything wrong with Adam himself, but it was him being alone that was not good. And it is unfortunate how many women have taken offense at being called their husband's helper.

They tend to think of it as a criticism. They think of it as an identification of weakness. The title helper, please follow me on this, it says more about the husband than it does the wife. Because God looked down and he said, brother, you need help. You are not gonna make it.

He looked at you gentlemen and he looked at me and he said, if I leave this dude alone, what will life look like for him? And so, I'm serious when I say this. For God to say, I will make him a helper is a commentary on man's inadequacy. It is a commentary on man's insufficiency. It is a commentary on man needing a woman and the problems he has without her.

And if it says anything about women, it talks about the way that she is a blessing and benefit to her husband. She happens to get the same title that's used for who else in Scripture? God, the Holy Spirit himself. And one of the main ways that wives help their husbands is by sharing their thoughts and their counsel with them. Now, prior to the fall, how would husbands have received The thoughts and counsel of their wives.

Easily, willingly, readily. As a result of the fall, how will husbands receive the thoughts and counsel of their wives? Stubbornly, difficulty. Now here, husbands are going to struggle with being told, when they feel like they're being told what to do, they will dig in their heels, they will be reluctant. There was like, I don't know, 12 years ago, or probably less than that, but I came to Katie and I said, you know, should I keep my beard?

And she said, you know what? You have had a beard and shaved it and had a beard and shaved it. You're never going to keep a beard. Why do you even ask me? Well, look.

And I have had it for 12 years. I don't even think I look good in it. It's just that my wife told me that I wouldn't keep it. So I have. I'm just joking, but I can remember and there was this part of it that was like, oh, you're that convinced I'm going to shave it?

Well, I'll show you. I'll keep it. And I can't just end that conversation. So anyway, where were we here in my notes? Okay.

Let me tell you two unfortunate truths. Two unfortunate truths. Men struggle with stubbornness and they struggle with stubbornness even more when they feel like they are being nagged. Wives struggle with nagging, and they struggle with nagging even more when they feel like their husband is being stubborn and it creates this vicious cycle in the marriage relationship. Let me get you to look back at the words, he shall rule over you.

Now, we already discussed that God established a husband's headship or authority prior to the fall, so why after the fall would God say that He shall rule over you? He's not establishing Adam's headship again. He's identifying one of the other struggles for men as a result of the fall, which is why some Bibles translate this as, he will dominate you. And this brings us to the next part of Lesson Four, husbands are tempted to, part two, dominate their wives. Colossians 3, 19, husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Is there a corresponding verse that says, wives submit to your husbands and do not be harsh toward them? No, now it's not to say that a wife can't be harsh with her husband, But it is to say that husbands are more prone to be harsh with their wives than wives are toward their husbands. Why are there no verses in Proverbs about husbands nagging their wives? It's not to say that husbands can't nag their wives, but it is to identify the greater struggle that women have in this area than men, and one of the greater struggles with men toward women is being authoritarian or harsh with the authority that God has given us. God called men to lead before the fall.

How would men have led before the fall? Gently, lovingly, kindly. Exactly like who leads? Christ. Listen to these two verses or quotes on verse 16.

John MacArthur said, as the woman tends toward rebellion, the man tends toward tyranny. Matthew Henry said, if the woman had not sinned, she always would have obeyed with humility and meekness. If the man had not sinned, he would always have ruled with wisdom and love. When did the battle of the sexes truly begin? Not in the 40s.

Genesis 3 is when the battle of the sexes began. The world says that women's lib began in the 60s. It began at the fall with wives, desiring to control their husbands and reject the headship over them. Women's lib is basically just when, on a mass scale, many people wanted to embrace it. It had always existed, but that was just when many people and sadly many churches said, we don't care what God's Word says.

We don't care about roles and distinctions between men and women. We reject complementarianism. We embrace egalitarianism. It's went so far now that we don't even recognize men and women. We don't even see the genders, and churches can be part of that problem when they don't recognize that distinction.

The fall, when did male chauvinism begin? Genesis 3, with men having a sin nature that could cause them to be cruel and domineering. Look at verse 17 to see another area of temptation for men. To Adam, God said, because you heeded the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you saying you shall not eat of it." We recognize that Adam's sin was eating the fruit, but before God rebuked him for that, he first pointed out that Adam had not led, that he had heeded or obeyed the voice of his wife instead of the voice of God, and this brings us to the next part of lesson four, husbands are tempted to be passive. I'll share an observation with you, and I will be the first to say that perhaps this isn't what you have observed in the relationships around you, but I've seen this somewhat frequently.

We know submission gets criticized. It gets criticized by the world. It even gets criticized in some churches. Because of the bad reputation submission can have, you'd practically expect women to be lined up at my door, to my office, coming in to tell me, oh, I cannot believe the Bible says that a woman should submit to her husband. I cannot believe that The Bible says that a husband is the head of the relationship.

I cannot believe you'd stand up there and talk to my husband about a spiritual leader, being a spiritual leader. That's what you'd expect. I don't hear that. You wanna know what I hear from wives? My husband won't leave.

I would give almost anything to have a husband who led. If only my husband would pray with me. If only my husband would read the Word of God with me. If only my husband would bring me to church. I don't hear women criticizing submission.

I hear women criticizing passive men. I hear women craving spiritual leadership, men that they can look up to and respect. For many men, their greatest struggle, it is not harshness. It is not being domineering. It is spiritual passiveness or laziness.

You could say their greatest temptation is not leading at all. And the important thing to know is both of these temptations have serious consequences. It is absolutely terrible when a man mistreats a woman physically when he's abusive, whether physically, mentally, emotionally. But it is also terrible when a man mistreats his wife by not being Christ to her, not being the spiritual leader that he should, not praying with her. Can you imagine the toll that that takes on a woman when her husband is not taking her to church regularly, when she's not part of corporate worship with him, when he's not gathering his family around the Word of God?

What that does to a wife, what that does to a family? Now, here's the interesting thing to consider. Between these two temptations, harshness and passiveness, which one do we see men commit more frequently? Well, it's a little bit of a trick question because if we were in the Middle East and I asked that question, what would you say? Harshness.

In our country, it's passiveness Because of what? The acceptability. You are not going to have churches criticizing men for being passive. They're criticizing men for being harsh, but you will see women being promoted to the positions of leadership within the church and within the home, and men are expected to take a backseat to them. Passiveness, it's taught, it's encouraged, and it relates to the acceptability of it.

And let's consider how this plays out. It's impossible for someone not to lead. I mean, unless there's just two people who sit there and never do anything, if a couple's going to do something, someone had to lead. And I mention this because if men don't lead, they're gonna be passive or lazy, someone ends up leading and ends up being the wife. So make sure you notice something important here about the fall.

We know Adam needs sinned by eating the fruit, But it's important to notice how the sin took place and it involves a reversal of roles. God established Adam's headship in Genesis 2. Satan attacked that headship in Genesis 3 by going after the woman. Eve succumbed to the devil and in the process, she usurped her husband's authority by ignoring the command that he had given her. Now listen to this for a second.

You know the terrible problem that resulted as a result of Abraham and Sarah. Why did that happen? What does it say? It says the exact same Hebrew words that it says in Genesis 3. Abraham heeded the voice of Sarah his wife.

And just think about it. We can understand how this would happen, right? God tells you you're gonna have a child, how long do you think you're gonna wait? Nine months, right? We know this, how this works, right?

One more time, one more time. God tells you you're gonna have a child, how long do you think you're gonna wait? Nine months. Okay, okay. It's, we're coming up on 15 years, or 10 or 15 years.

And so Sarah says, hey, just do this. Let's get Hagar. Let's get, you know, we need to have a child. I'm not having one. And so take Hagar, my main servant, and then it says Abraham heeded the voice of his wife, the exact same language from Genesis 3.

It was so bad that who got mad at who later? Sarah got mad at Abraham, basically blamed him for doing what she wanted. We still suffer the consequences of that today. One more example. You remember what happened with Ahab and Jezebel.

Ahab, generally when people have an amount of luxury, it creates a greater covetousness in them and Ahab being a wealthy powerful king wasn't satisfied with what he had and instead it just made him want more. And he goes out one day and he looks and he sees this beautiful vineyard that he wants. And he goes to Naboth, the Jezreelite, who was a godly man and understood that land was to remain within the family. And so despite the very generous offer that Ahab made to Naboth, what did Naboth say? He said, I can't give it to you, this belongs to my family.

And so Ahab goes home and actually says that he pouts, he won't eat, he turns his face to the wall. And his wife comes in and she sees him this way, and she says something to him which was a lie. She says, hey, you're the ruler of Israel. It was a lie because she was the ruler of Israel. And she says, you want that land, you should go take that for yourself.

And she stirs him up. And she writes this letter to have Naboth assassinated. And her fingerprints are over the death of Naboth from beginning to end. She wrote the letter like she was Ahab, she sent the letter like she was Ahab, she came up with a plan, she put the men in the positions who were gonna slander him. She could not have looked more responsible for the death of Naboth.

And then something happened, God told Elijah the prophet, do you see what Ahab has done? And so Elijah goes and he rebukes Ahab. And I think it's 1 Kings 21, 25, I might be wrong, But Elijah was talking to Ahab and he said something to him that I hope none of you will forget, ladies. He said, you have done this, Ahab, because your wife stirred you up to do it. And ladies, this is what I want to say to you.

You're stirring up your husband one way or the other. You are stirring him up toward godliness or you're like Jezebel and you're stirring him up toward ungodliness. But there is nobody else that God has put in your husband's life who has as much influence on him as you do. And I guarantee that you are stirring him up and influencing him one way or the other, and so you just have to ask yourself which way you wanna do it. Do you wanna push him toward Christ, or do you wanna be like Jezebel and push him away from Christ?

Now prior to the fall, this perfect harmony that existed between Adam and Eve, sin turned God's ordained roles into struggles of pride and selfishness. We're supposed to be lifelong companions. God wants marriage to be this blessing and gift for us. Now we're joined together, we're pursuing the oneness, but we have these sin natures. We have this terrible struggle.

And so here's the question, How can marriage survive this kind of conflict? How can marriage survive two sinful people? Think about what marriage is for a moment. It is two sinful people living together, which is basically a recipe for disaster, isn't it? And this brings us to our last lesson.

Reverse the effects of the fall by obeying God's commands for marriage. Reverse the effects of the fall by obeying God's commands for marriage. We have a recipe in God's Word for reversing the fall in our marriage. Or I'll say it like this, you can reverse the curse in your relationship with your spouse by obeying the commands that God has given you. The fall has the potential to ruin every single marriage.

And guess what? When we resist God's commands, when you look at what God says to you as a husband or when you look at what God says to you as a wife and you say, I am not going to do that, you are giving yourself over to the fall. You are giving yourself over to your sinful nature. You're being like Cain and you're letting sin do what? Control you versus control it.

You say, you know what? God told these other husbands to love their wives, but he must not have known how my wife was going to be acting. God's word tells wives to submit to their husbands, but he must not have known what my husband was going to look like. When you deny what God's word says and you resist and you push toward disobedience, you're introducing the fall into your home. You're asking sin to control you and your relationship with your spouse.

But if you will submit to God, if you will allow the gospel to work, if you will commit to obeying these commands, then the fall can be reversed in any relationship. God's commands can take chauvinistic, harsh, unloving, passive men and make them what? Loving, tender, compassionate, godly leaders. God's commands can take the most controlling, manipulative, nagging, domineering women and make them submissive, give them quiet spirits, make them respectful and gentle. And with the power of the gospel at work, in our lives, in our relationships, we are given by God the ability to obey these commands.

Father, we thank you for the gospel. If we had to obey these commands in our own effort, how discouraged we would be that we can be thankful that the gospel empowers us to obey what you've commanded. You would not expect it of us except that you would also provide the way for us to obey, Lord, and so we thank you for that. I thank you for each person who's come here today, Lord. Help us not to be just hearers but doers of the word, applying the instruction that we are receiving, and we pray these things in Jesus' name.

Amen.