Should a man be committed to a local church before becoming a suitor? What if he's currently searching for a church? Should he seek a new church if his current church leaders have differences with him that make it hard to be all in or question raising a family at that church? So here you've got a guy who's searching for a church, he might be in a church where he's nervous about it, he's not sure, he doesn't think he wants to raise his family in that church. So you got two different situations I think.

A guy's searching for a church but I think the big thing I think This is what we should focus on. Should a man be committed to a local church before becoming a suitor? Let's just zero in on that. Of course. But It's not inherently a crime to be in transition.

Our commitments to our local church are important, essential, but It's not as unbreakable as marriage. That analogy breaks down pretty fast. So you would wanna know what's the history here. Church hopping is almost always a crime. I mean, I guess maybe you can envision something where there are just no good churches and so you keep trying them in a serial fashion.

But most of the time church hopping is a crime. It generally means nothing's good enough for you and you're easily dissatisfied and you won't devote yourself to a local church. So there can be a man who's been devoted to a local church in time past in his history and in another time and place but now he's in transition because he didn't think he should stay there I don't think that's a crime another thing we forget that I don't know if it's actually a biblical concept to think that you can be in transition between two churches or in transition for six months and not be a member somewhere. I think it's a better model and I know there's always a situation where okay you got to get out of that church you don't have another church and that church is a false church. So there's always a scenario where this is not possible.

But generally speaking, you should think I'm a member held accountable to this church. I'm moving my membership to this church. And I know there may be a time where you have to go and visit some churches, but the idea that you can be independent of the local church for a period of time is not something that's a biblical concept. I know John Bunyan, you know, someone moved from Bedford to other places like one of his members moved from Bedford to London well he kept in tabs with him until he was actually able to submit himself to that new church then he felt his responsibility was over And so I think pastors are accountable for their sheep until they can transfer them into someone else's care. So I think the real thing is, do I have to be a member of a local church?

I think I would be asking a guy that was looking at my daughter, I'd be asking, are you a churchman? Are you a churchman? Are you committed to the local church? Is the church a priority to your life? And he'd be like, yes, it is.

I'm going to this church and it sings Bethel music. It does this, this, this, and this. And all these things is alarming. It's like, I don't know if I want my daughter in a church like that. He's like, yeah, I don't want to raise a family in this church and I'm coming to these more clear doctrinal convictions and I see the need for a more solid church, but I don't want to just leave a church willy-nilly.

I want to be, you know, I would honor that. I'd be like, you're doing things well, and it'd be like not having a job or not having a lot of money. I can see the trajectory and the convictions are there that this person is a churchman and that would be more important than just someone as a member of just some church. Jason has said something many times I really like it. He said when you're evaluating a suitor you want to be comfortable with that guy two years ago.

His behavior two years ago. Not that he just fell in love with your daughter and now he's coming to church all the time. He's at all the meetings. But you want to know that he's a churchman. He's actually a churchman.

He loves the church of Jesus Christ. Men who don't have the inner character strength to submit to imperfect elders are a danger to your daughter. Unsubmissive men are no fun to be married to and you need to be fun to be married to. I mean really we do know the husband is the head of the wife but also a husband is supposed to honor his wife. That means that he puts her above him.

So this a man needs to get in the yoke of the authority of a local church and it's sanctifying to him because he has to live with imperfect elders and imperfect people and he's engaged in a covenant with people. That's what marriage is. I want to know that the guy can make a covenant and stick with it. I like your illustration. You know, the guy is a churchman.

He stayed in this church. It's really bothering him but he has a devotion to that local church and he does need to break out of it, but at least he's not just bouncing around like a pinball. He's able to be devoted to one another in brotherly love that's what marriages so I wanna I wanna see a guy who is devoted to a local church if a guy's not in a local church I'm really concerned I wanna have a long conversation about why that happened. What in the world happened to make you like that? That's defective Christianity.

Thank you.