The sermon discusses the importance of biblical conflict resolution in the context of conflicts between spouses. It emphasizes that conflicts arise due to the commonality of fleshly desires within individuals. The sermon explores the difference between a self-oriented attitude and a Godward orientation in resolving conflicts. It highlights the need for prayer, active listening, confession, forgiveness, and seeking resolution for conflicts. The sermon also addresses common issues such as unresponsive spouses and lingering hurt, providing biblical insights and guidance.

This topic that we're about to talk about is an important one. Some of the ones that we've been talking about so far have been kind of that big picture view. It's been getting the attitude right, making sure we realize what we're fighting for, why we're in this together. This topic begins to address down in the trenches, right, Biblical conflicts and their resolutions between you two as a husband and wife. So let me just start to say that there was a brief period of time when God created the world.

That perfect people walked through a perfect world and perfect union with him. Every physical and spiritual need was met. There was no unhealthy competition, no secret plots, no harsh words, no sinful pride, fear, guilt, shame, rebellion. And that didn't last long, right? Because of the fall.

And with the fall came fear and guilt and shame as a standard human experience. And today as James 4 relates, instead of harmony, conflict arises because of the passions that are at war within us. And I'll read James 4 in the first person. I desire and do not have, and so I murder. I covet and cannot obtain, and so I fight and I quarrel.

I do not have because I do not ask. I ask and do not receive because I ask wrongly to spend it on my passions. So James is saying that at the heart of our conflicts is not a difference but rather a commonality that we all share. We all have fleshly desires that war for our attention and get the better of us. So I'll ask you this, when you find yourself in conflict with your spouse, which of the following set of questions do you ask yourself?

Question set One, how did I contribute to this conflict? What's true and what my spouse is saying to me? How can I resolve the conflict and restore my relationship with my spouse? You guys camp out in that set a lot? Probably more question set two.

How can I explain my spouse's fault in this matter? What did my spouse say that was false, inaccurate, or misunderstood? What can I say or do that will motivate my spouse to apologize and treat me as I deserve or simply leave me alone? So question was set one, question set two. As you can imagine, that second set of questions are the types of questions that we ask when we're operating out of what I would call a self-oriented attitude, and the questions in that first set are those that come from a God-word orientation.

And I referenced 2nd Corinthians 5 last night where Paul speaks of being an ambassador, but here's more of that passage specifically in verses 18-21. He says, God has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and he has given us the ministry of reconciliation. That is that God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not imputing their trespasses to them and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Paul reminds us that Jesus became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in him. And you can hear the context of how that righteousness expresses itself in the world, you've been saved from your sin to be an ambassador for Christ.

We saw yesterday that being an ambassador means that you represent the one who sent you. You know his message. You know what he desires. To do that, you need a Godward orientation. You need to be kingdom anchored.

You need to realize that this is your great calling as a believer, and that's what we've been talking about. And I like to think of it this way, you are a steward of your relationships. That includes even conflict. A steward manages affairs and situations for his master and acts on his master's behalf. And what does God want to be the end result of your conflict?

Is it that you will be personally better understood? That you will win the argument? No, what the Lord wants most is that the end result of your conflict will be resolution, reconciliation, and His glory. And He wants you to steward that conflict towards that end by managing it to bring about those results. So how do we move from that self-orientation of that second question set to the Godward orientation of the first one?

Well Godward orientation results when we have a healthy view of our sin, when we realize how desperately we need God's forgiveness for those sins. When we realize like we just read in Romans chapter five, what God has done for us through Jesus Christ, and then that love in the gratitude that results in our hearts as a response to God's grace, that becomes the motive for not only embracing his purposes, but also for working hard to die to ourselves and to work for resolution. A Godward orientation is less interested in being understood or in being justified or in getting even. It's far more interested in God being understood, in God being glorified, in helping our spouses become more like Christ. Does that seem idealistic?

It's certainly biblical, but it may sound idealistic because we are typically still so far off from this Godward orientation. We're still so far entrenched in our selfward orientation. That leads me to the next overarching question. So when should I confront my spouse? If you think about the foundation being having a Godward orientation, there are some other factors to consider as well.

Not every offense needs to be addressed. I know that because Proverbs 19, 11 tells us that the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger and is glory, his glory to overlook an offense. Peter in 1 Peter 4, 8 tells us, above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins. So many of us are the exact opposite of those two passages. We would never overlook a transgression and cover over a sin.

And we may not launch into a full-fledged fight over a matter, but we'll certainly let our spouse know that we've been irritated or frustrated, and we'll do it through avoidance, we'll do it through size, the clear look on the face, what's wrong? I know there's something, nothing. I know there's something wrong. It will be a sharp answer. It will be a withholding of affection.

It will be any number of things to let the other person know, You hurt me. Matthew 7 is a great passage when it comes to Godward orientation. Jesus says, you know this passage, as soon as I read it, why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there's a plank in your own eye and every time you turn your head it knocks me flat, right? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will clearly see to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

And we've all heard that passage, but here's how we normally interpret it. Jesus wants me to ask if I have anything that I'm contributing to this moment or if I'm being hypocritical. And those are good questions. You should ask them. But this passage is something more fundamental behind it.

When you read Matthew 7, you're reminded that you are a sinner. Not just in this particular conflict, but a sinner period. You know how easily you fall prey to temptation or anger or frustration or bitterness or you fill in the blank and because of that realization you can come into this conflict not only with a desire to manage it, to steward it for God's glory, but to do so with empathy. You know that you've done the same thing, that you will do the same thing, and when you do, you want your spouse to come to you with empathy and a desire for God's glory. Can't you do the same thing for him or her in this moment?

But there will be times where we should confront our spouse. And in evaluation, if we should in a particular situation, we can ask these three questions. Does this the offense seriously dishonor or offend God? Does it seriously hurt others or me? Does it seriously affect the reputation and character of my spouse?

And if you can answer yes to one of those questions or more, then it is entirely appropriate to confront your spouse gently and lovingly with the intent to reconcile him or her to God, to others, or to yourself. Some of you may be wondering how to tell when something is serious. You know, What does that mean? Seriously versus one that I can overlook. Well, that's where you will need wisdom.

We are all sinners in the process of sanctification. We do not perfectly walk in the spirit. And so we will say things that irritate, frustrate, and insult them much more during the day. And wisdom discerns when the threshold has been crossed in which an offense is serious enough that reconciliation is necessary. But let me again remind you what a Godward orientation says in that moment as opposed to a self-orientation.

Godward orientation says, I feel that I should address this offense and when I do, I want to glorify God, I want to edify my spouse for his or her good. I want to redeem. I want to restore So as a summary you should address an offense when it's serious enough to be to the harm of the spouse another person or the name of Christ. It's when you can step into that confrontation with the right attitude, the right motives, and the right goals. Remember this great passage from Colossians 312, therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long suffering, bearing with one another, forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

But above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection." All right, that's that is the ideal. That's the biblically grounded moment when we confront our spouse in love and kindness. So what next? You are squarely in the middle of a conflict, either one that began because you've confronted your spouse having thought through those things, or it's one that your spouse initiated. And what I'm going to tell you next, this too may seem impossible when you consider how your conflicts have been going.

Okay, but that doesn't make what I'm about to say wrong or not something that you should strive for. It just simply means how entrenched we all are in James chapter 3, 4, and the self-orientation. It's gonna take time and growth to get to where we're gonna talk about and where it becomes a regular habit because our regular habit is to immediately launch into conflict out of a self-orientation. So the first thing that you should do, and this is where it immediately becomes impossible, is pray. It's also the last thing that you should do.

The degree to which you are willing to pray is the degree to which you are actually stepping into conflict with a Godward orientation. So if you say to yourself, I don't want to pray right now, that's because you're in James 4 and self-orientation. It means that this conflict is not going to go well, typically. Now sometimes we suddenly find ourselves in conflict, but here's the point, the moment that you realize it, the moment that your brain kicks in and says, wait a second, we're fighting, that's where you need to be willing to stop and pray and start the process here. Next, you should be slow to speak and quick to listen.

James 119 through 20 says, Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce what? The righteousness of God. It doesn't produce healthy conflict resolution either. A general rule is to allow the one who feels offended to speak first. If you're both feeling offended and can't decide who should start, go back to step one.

Pray again. Next, when one person is speaking, the other person should be listening actively and interestingly. That means that as you hear your spouse speaking, you're actually processing his or her words, making sure that you understand the point being made. You're not just waiting to be able to make your point. You're not formulating your response during the moment.

You aren't waiting for that final word. Instead, you're committed to listening first, to understanding the points that were made, attempting to place, here's a hard one, attempting to place yourself in your spouse's shoes. Why is it that my spouse is frustrated and offended and irritated in this moment? What's happened? And that's not just answered by because I did this.

Sometimes it can be answered by because this is all happened during the day. Sometimes it can be answered by because my spouse is struggling with one thing or another. But all of that is that process of trying to think through and put yourself in the other person's shoes, understand their point, and maybe even can ask yourself, can I summarize their concerns? Next, again, before you respond, ask yourself, what was true in what they just said? What was true in what they just said?

In Proverbs 9, 9 Solomon says, give instruction to a wise man, he will be wiser still. Teach a just man he will increase in learning and then later in Proverbs 12-15 he says the way of a fool is right in his own eyes but he who heeds counsel is wise. So what is Solomon saying there? He's saying that the ability to take advice, correction, and rebuke is the mark of a wise man or woman. Solomon says it's only a fool that does what's right all the time in their own eyes and has no time for counsel or correction.

You don't want to be a fool in your marriage. It's no wonder that David exclaims in Psalm 141, let the righteous strike me, it shall be a kindness. Let him rebuke me, it shall be as excellent oil. Let not my head refuse it. Why?

Because in the moment that we're being teachable and correctable, we are open to the work of the Holy Spirit working through our spouse. We tend instead to say, how dare you critique me? Wait a second, you think that's bad? Wait till I tell you what you do. Right?

Don't we do that? Next is the time for response first acknowledge that what you acknowledge what you agree to be true and what they've said and Second if the truth that you've agreed to regards something sinful, then you need to confess. And when you confess, avoid words like if, or but, or maybe. Always remove the words that dilute your confessions, excuse your conduct, or shift blame to other people. Typically, if our confession contains an excuse, it's not a confession, it's what?

It's a justification, right? So be specific in your confession. Don't hide behind vague generalities. Instead, specifically identify sinful attitudes, maybe pride, selfishness, greed, envy, bitterness, and gratitude, stubbornness, whatever it may be, and sinful actions. And then admit that what you did was wrong because it violated the Lord's will and word.

And after you've confessed, ask for forgiveness. And asking for forgiveness, you've probably heard this before, I'll just say it again, is different than making an apology. We always told our kids when they wanted to, ended up wanting to say, I'm sorry, we'd say that's not asking for forgiveness. Because we would remind them that we can say things like, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, that's not a confession. I'm sorry, Kamene, I feel bad that my actions affected you, or I feel bad that you feel bad, or any number of things.

But when it comes to forgiveness, we're asking for forgiveness for sin. We're acknowledging that we've sinned against the Lord, and it brought our spouse into that and affected them. And so we ask them for forgiveness. That's vastly different. I'd also like to point out something else that often derails us.

We often think that if we confess and ask for forgiveness on a point that somehow we've validated everything that we've been told by our spouse and the discussion will be over and that makes us reluctant to confess and ask for forgiveness until the end of a discussion. And I'm a firm believer that there can be many confessions during a time of conflict and much forgiveness. In fact, it's far more often true that the demonstration of true humility and sincere confession actually helps motivate each other to greater resolution and swifter reconciliation. Next, if there were other things that should be clarified and or addressed, then repeat the same process. And as I said earlier, finish with prayer.

I would also finish with a hug and the commitment to glorify God in your relationship. So those are those are the kind of brief steps through conflict. I'd like to spend the rest of our time together actually addressing three common issues that frustrate this process. There are inevitably questions that you will have. First one, what if my spouse does not respond well?

Well, maybe as you've heard these things, your thoughts have gone to some past conflicts, and you're thinking to yourself, my spouse often does not respond well. He or she gets angry. They get even. They hold a grudge. And the idol is self.

And that idol is a very demanding idol. And when we're enslaved to an idol, we punish those who don't bow down to it in numerous ways. We pout, we impose guilt, shame. We walk around with a pained or a crushed look on our face. We may even resort to physical aggression, all to punish or control others that are not respecting the sidle that we have.

As we grow in faith, as we grow in awareness of our sin, Most of us recognize we reject overt and obviously sinful means of punishing others, but then what we do is we withdraw, we withhold affection, physical contact, we send unpleasant cues, we make barbed innuendos. Is that any of you? It describes plenty of times in the past for Wendy and me. And if you have a Godward orientation in a dispute and an empathy towards your spouse that I was talking about at the beginning, you will at least be able to understand that a poor response to you is typically the result of that self-idolatry that I described. If your spouse is a believer, then you know that their identity is not their sin.

That's really important. When your spouse is not responding well, realize their identity is not this moment. That helps you take less personally the poor responses. Helps you to pray for them even while you're in conflict with them. And there's more that you can do.

Proverbs 15.1 says that a soft answer turns away wrath. Paul in Ephesians 4.2 writes, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bear with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. And that word gentleness is the Greek word, prous, which is often translated as meekness. But it's not a word that is meant to convey weakness, but rather it is strength under control. Jesus had all the power in the universe.

He had all authority, but he knew when and how to exercise power. He had nothing to prove. So when Paul urges us to be gentle and lowly like Christ, it's because we recognize that true change comes from the Holy Spirit. And if our motivation is reconciliation, if it's God's glory, if it's stewarding and managing our conflict so that the end results are what God desires in this, we have nothing to prove, friends. Nothing to prove.

And if you understand that your spouse may be struggling with sin, if you know that the Holy Spirit is the one that brings about real and lasting change through soft answers and a gentle spirit and that power under control, that meek kindness, is it not a great self-control that desires God to accomplish His purposes through you in that moment? I think so. And you can be thankful to the Lord that He's giving you the strength to do that. And aren't we ultimately communicating who Christ is when we respond in that way? Here's why I say that.

One of the most profound passages in the entire Bible is Romans 2-4. Do you not know it says that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? Of all the things that Paul could have said, could have said holiness of God. He could have said the threat of God's wrath. He could have said justice.

He could have said any number of these big powerful words, right? Instead, he says the kindness of God motivates us to repentance, and it's true. Ties in with what we read in Romans 5. And if it's true for God, might it not be true for you as well, as His representative? It may be that despite all of these things that your spouse still reacts defensively, stealing himself or herself against your words, justifying their actions, perhaps he or she shifts blame back to you, points out your own shortcomings, what then?

Well, I hope that an initial and obvious answer from everything that we've talked about so far is that you don't fall back into the old attitudes and behaviors. If you ever confronted someone working hard to pray, to push down the natural things you wanted to say or do, reminded yourself about the principles of biblical conflict? Maybe you even did that long before you even stepped into this because you knew we were going to get to this. We said we'd talk about it when he got home and so I've been praying all day I've been ready for it and then he didn't respond the way that you expected him to and The result was that you found yourself Even angrier than before and saying the ugly things." Back to those old attitudes. What does that suggest?

It suggests that all that you managed to do was cover fleshly attitudes with a thin layer of Christian guidelines and that that thin layer broke very easily, right? We all have been there. It's because we're still battling that self-orientation. When things break down, it should not send us spiraling back into bitterness and cynicism. We are, remind yourself of this, you are a blood-bought, redeemed, profoundly forgiven person who God has given every spiritual blessing of Christ.

Every promise that he gave is yes in him. And if you are firmly anchored in that, then these setbacks in relationships, these difficult challenges and obstacles, any number of reactions, but whatever it may be, they will cause you to trust more in Christ. They will drive you to your knees in prayer. They will cause you to thank God for His forgiveness of you and the fact that there is no condemnation ultimately in Christ. What good news that is, isn't it?

No condemnation in Christ. It reminds us of the bigger picture. This is war. This is a battle. This conflict not going the way that we'd like for it to go, not going the way that would please God, this is war.

And we need to keep fighting for victory in the glory of God. Remember that your ultimate calling is not to change the heart of your spouse, but to allow the Holy Spirit to work in your own heart. And even though as God's ambassador, and because you love your spouse, you desire their restoration their greatest good yet you are in the re end responsible for your own self God does not hold you responsible as much for results as he does for obedience Okay, that's true of everything in life God doesn't hold you responsible as much for results as he does for obedience. That's true of everything in life. God doesn't hold you responsible as much for results as he does for obedience.

If things break down, it may be at this point that you decide that the best thing to do, at least in this particular moment, is to end the conflict, to commit to think through what was said and to pray. It may even be that you will choose in wisdom to overlook this offense and move on, but it may also be that the issue is significant enough or a pattern of response is entrenched enough that you need to seek some help. You may consider seeking pastoral or other biblical counseling in that particular situation. I'm also reminded of Paul's words in Romans 12, 14, bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, be of the same mind toward one another.

Do not set your mind on high things but associate with the humble. Don't be wise in your own opinion. Do not repay evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men and as much as it is possible and depends upon you, live peaceably. Second issue, what if my spouse doesn't confess sin?

Should I just move on? So you went through that process early on, you felt you needed to confront your spouse and bring up an issue, but they're just, they're not seeing it or as you do, they're not confessing sin, do I just move on? Well, Ephesians 4, 21 tells us that we must forgive one another just as God, for Christ's sake has forgiven us, so that we know at least that forgiveness needs to be modeled after God's forgiveness. We also know that forgiveness is more than just a declaration or a feeling because we learn from Isaiah 43 in Jeremiah 31 that God doesn't remember our sins. Maybe you've always thought that that meant that God has amnesia with regard to your sins, but I don't believe that to be the case.

Given God's omniscience, what I believe is more accurate is that it means that God commits to not holding your sin against you in the future. It's another way of understanding the word remember. I will not when it comes to that time at the judgment, I will not remember this against your account. So if we are to model God's forgiveness, then we need to consider forgiveness to be our commitment to not hold our spouse's offense against him or her once we've forgiven them. And surprisingly Jesus tells his disciples in Luke 17 that if a brother sins against us to rebuke him and if he repents to forgive him and if he sins against us seven times in a day and returns saying, I repent, we shall continue to forgive him.

And if you're like the disciples, they say, that's impossible. We were talking about so many impossible things this week. In the same way, when we forgive others, we commit to not mark our spouse's offenses for further mention. That's a hard one, isn't it? I forgive you.

I'll bring it up in three weeks. But that's not all. He or she is fully restored and reconciled to us as if the offense had never happened. Now that does not mean that your spouse escapes the consequences of his or her actions. A person who stole property, for example, as part of true repentance, must return the property, usually with interest.

An elder or pastor who commits a grievous sin, though he may confess, repent, and be restored into the confidence of the body, may still, in the greater interests of 1 Timothy 3 or Titus 1, have to step down from his position. If your spouse has broken trust, for example, it may take time to rebuild that trust. The important thing is that forgiveness is a promise not to bring up a prior offense as an excuse for an estranged relationship. Does that make sense? Doesn't negate consequences, but it does lead to reconciliation.

But what if a person does not repent? Jesus said that we must forgive the one who asks forgiveness and repents. And if he does the same thing seven times in a day, continue to forgive. But what if there is no acknowledgement of sin? That was the issue.

No confession, no repentance. This may sound strange, but when a person fails to repent, forgiving them does not help. God uses the process of confrontation, He uses the process of His Word, the work of His Holy Spirit, contrition, confession, repentance, forgiveness to sanctify his people. And they're all interlinked. And when an individual sins against someone else, one author has said there's a spiritual debt that is owed.

And when we forgive a person, we release them from that debt. And if our spouse is a believer, the Holy Spirit will discipline him or her until they address that debt through confession and repentance. And forgiveness, God wants that to be the end of that process. He wants that to be the culmination. It's the release.

It's the reminder that God has pardoned us, that God has forgiven us, and so has my spouse. Proverbs 19, 19 says, a man of great wrath will suffer punishment, for if you rescue him, you'll have to do it again. If you merely forgive another for their debts because it will make you feel better or because you want to move on or perhaps you feel that that's what we do as Christians, you'll only harm your spouse and likely have to go through the whole process again. It may even be worse the next time because unaddressed sin leads to a seared conscience. It's much like the father who continues to rescue his child from her sin so that she never faces the consequences because it hurts him too much to see his child suffer, but in the process she doesn't experience the sanctifying discipline that God intends and she continues to repeat her sin and usually gets worse and worse and worse.

So forgiveness is a power. It can be used for good or for evil. When used properly, forgiveness is a tool that God entrusts into your hands. You may be saying, but what about that passage where it says, if you forgive them in their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you don't forgive them in their trespasses, God won't forgive you. Or Mark 11 where it says, And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive you. What about that passage? Well, there is a difference between allowing an individual to release their debt versus having something against another person. So the best way I can describe it is this, Mark and Matthew, those passages, they're talking about you as an individual while your spouse has offended you, has sinned against the Lord and against you in that regard and is not acknowledging it, not confessing it, not asking for forgiveness. What Mark and Matthew are talking about is that you are not to be standing there harboring resentment and anger and bitterness or any number of poisonous attitudes against your spouse because they hinder you from ultimately forgiving them.

Your feelings, and I know this is hard to say, your feelings in the grand scheme of God's plan of sanctification for others, they are not as relevant. God has given you this tool, forgiveness, and told you, I want you to lay aside your desire for vindication, I want you to lay aside your desire for vengeance and getting even and returning hurt for hurt. You are to use this tool in a biblical way. You're not to use it indiscriminately You are not to confront your spouse about their offense and then They don't respond and then you just forgive and walk away. You are to wait for the Holy Spirit to move him or her to repent, and in the meantime, you are not to stew over it, you're not to grow bitter, you're not to treat him or her poorly.

And that's the heart of Mark 11. I come Back to what I said at the very beginning, reconciliation is the goal of a Godward orientation. So you're really, when you're managing for God's purposes, you're saying it's less about me, it's more about God and what he wants in this. Last issue and then we're going to eat, but I'm still hurt, and I don't want to be hurt again. Remember this, and this is oftentimes more applicable to the women.

It's not to say that it doesn't apply to men. But we are not slaves of our experiences. We are new creations. And Paul in Galatians 2 writes, I have been crucified with Christ. And a believer is one who identifies with all that God affirms and condemns in Christ's crucifixion.

Everything that was put upon His back on the cross, God is affirming in that atonement the whole truth about himself, his holiness, his goodness, his justice, and he's equally confirming everything about us when it comes to our sin, our deceit, our idolatry. He condemns all of that. And when we see ourselves through that filter of the cross, we realize, wait a second, the cross, it says more about me more thoroughly, criticizing me more intensely and deeply and pervasively and truly than anyone else ever would or could. And if we know ourselves to be crucified with Christ, then we, you, can respond to any criticism, even mistaken or hostile criticism, without bitterness, without defensiveness, without blame shifting, because you can receive another's criticism with this attitude, again impossible, but pray for the impossible to be made possible in your heart because of the joy that you have in Christ Having this attitude you have not discovered a fraction of my guilt Christ has said more about my sin more about my failings more about my rebellion more about my foolishness than you could possibly know. I'm thankful for your corrections.

They are a blessing and a kindness to me for even when they are wrong or misplaced They remind me of my true faults They remind me of my sins for which Christ paid dearly And I want to hear where your criticisms are valid. You see, the cross of Christ reminds you that the Son of God loved you, that he gave himself for you. And because of this, God has thoroughly accepted you in Christ, and if you will take that to heart, the whole world and even as painful as it may be to think about even your spouse can stand against you, denounce you, criticize you, and you'll still be able to reply, if God has justified me, who can condemn me? If God has justified me and accepted me, will never forsake me, and then why should I feel insecure in fear of criticism? Christ took my sins, I received his spirit, he took my condemnation, and I received his righteousness." That's what you can say.

So I've put there some hard questions to ask yourself. How do I typically react to correction? What is my first response when someone says I'm wrong? I don't have time to go over all of those things, but I just want to say this final thing. We have such a lofty calling.

We are as the church in Ephesians 3, it says we are to make known this mystery that's been revealed by the Lord hidden for the ages. Not just the mystery that God has united a church of Jew and Gentile, but God can unite two people, a husband and a wife in a difficult marriage, and He can bring His glory about by redeeming them and by them acting in a way that is consistent with His principles. And I want you to know that the world is watching, not just your children. For a lot of you That would be enough, right? My children are watching, but the world is watching and there's so much at stake.

God desires to change the world through you. May the Lord and his wisdom be established and may it be glorified through your marriage.