In his sermon 'How to Correct Your Spouse,' Scott Brown explores biblical guidance on spousal correction, primarily drawing from Galatians 6:1-3. He outlines a seven-point checklist for correction, emphasizing the need for understanding scripture, being spiritually minded, pursuing restoration, operating with gentleness, recognizing personal shortcomings, and being poised for forbearance. Brown underscores the importance of self-awareness and humility, warning against condescension. The checklist is not just about what to do, but how to embody the spirit of Christ in correction, ensuring love and patience are at the forefront. He stresses that marriage is a marathon requiring patience and forbearance, and points out that God's ways are the best for a lasting marriage, which should be pursued for the glory of God.

So now, after such sweetness in life, we're going to talk about how you correct your spouse. Okay? Now open your Bibles to Galatians 6. All the instructions are in Galatians 6, line by line. Galatians 6, 1 through 3.

This is just brilliant counsel from heaven about the occasion when there needs to be some kind of correction between a husband and a wife. Galatians 6, 1 through 3 is so pivotal for this. Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Verse two, bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

So what should you do when your spouse has sinned? Should you correct? Should you go where angels fear to tread? What should you do if you're the type of person who hates to offend or if you're married to a spouse that's overly self-protective, proud, overly sensitive, and shuts down at the slightest criticism. There are people that just shut down at the slightest criticism.

These are just realities. And so when Peter said that wives who find their husbands disobeying the Lord, they should win them without a word, does not mean that a wife is prohibited from correcting her husband. And so I'm gonna give you a seven point checklist. That's just directly using the exact words from this text. A seven point checklist to help you to discern if or even how you should correct your spouse.

What prepares you to help someone who was caught in a trespass? And the first question is this, do you understand the teaching of scripture? If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone." Matthew 18, 15. Should we ever correct others? What does the Bible say?

The Bible says yes, it's legitimate to correct one another when someone is overtaken in a trespass. And God gave us his word for those moments of reproof. Paul instructed Timothy, the servant of the Lord, must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient and humility, correcting those who are in opposition. If God perhaps will grant them repentance so that they may know the truth and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil having been taken captive by him to do his will." That's 2nd Timothy 2, 25 and 26. Jesus said, take heed to yourselves.

If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times in a day returns to you saying I repent you shall forgive him. So we could go to 1st Thessalonians 5 14 now we exhort you brethren warn those who are unruly comfort the faint-hearted uphold the weak be patient with all See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Moses said in Leviticus 19, you shall not hate your brother in your heart, you shall surely rebuke your neighbor and not bear sin because of him.

You shall not take vengeance nor bear grudge against any children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord." And here, Moses is saying that there is a way that you love your neighbor that includes a rebuke. So these things are critical. James says, Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns the sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins. So in these passages you find various limitations and conditions for this whole matter.

And the scriptures demand that correction should be between you and him alone. It should be gentle. It should be patient. In humility, taking heed to yourselves, be willing to forgive seven times a day and to pursue what is good. So this is the basic, you know, biblical teaching.

And William Gooch speaks about this in his book on marriage, Building a Godly Home. He assures husbands that they have a God-given duty to free their wives from their misery and keep them from drowning by speaking to them about their sins. And he issues very grave warnings, And he makes it very clear that the rebuke should be soft and they should be really rare and they should only be given if there are serious sins that put the family in danger. That's William Gooch, an English Puritan who was, for 250 years, was the most popular writer on family life during the Puritan era and afterwards. Aguj cautions husbands to make sure they're never guided by presumption, in other words, jumping to conclusions, or causeless suspicion.

So the first question is, do you understand the teaching of scripture? Because this text in Galatians exists in a context of other texts that shine the light on it. The second question is, are you spiritually minded? Paul says to the Galatians, you who are spiritual. This is a qualification.

You should not be correcting your spouse until you've cleared that hurdle. In other words, are you spiritually minded and not earthly minded? Has your mind been subdued by the work of the Spirit of God? And we all know what the fruit of the Spirit is to be spiritually minded is to exemplify love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness and gentleness and self-control. That's what it looks like to be spiritually minded.

So are you spiritually minded? You should not be correcting one another until you've really settled in and you know that you're going to say things that are really of the Spirit of God. The way that the Spirit counsels you to communicate them. The third question is, are you pursuing the right objective? Are you pursuing the right objective to restore such a one?

Do you see that next phrase? You who are spiritual, restore such a one. And the idea of restoration is actually a word picture in the Greek language to put a dislocated limb back in place, or it was used for the repair of fishing nets that were broken during the process. So it has to do with mending nets. There's a process of repair that's implied in the metaphor of restoring such a one.

And so, you know, don't jump into rebuking until It is your objective to restore. Don't say anything that diverts you from restoration. So you're weighing your words, does this have to do with restoration? Your attitude, is this an attitude that facilitates restoration and make sure that your words take you to the right destination and don't allow your emotions to cloud your vision and don't let the fences get in the way of your objective. This is the great thing about the Word of God.

The God sets expectations and he sets objectives for us. And getting very dialed in to his objectives are critical. So question three, are you pursuing the right objective? And then question number four, are you operating in a spirit of gentleness? Notice the next phrase, in a spirit of gentleness.

A spirit of gentleness. Of course, gentleness is a fruit of the spirit. It's easier to kick someone while they're down, but it's better to operate in a spirit of gentleness. Second Timothy 2 24 says, and a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility, correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive to do his will. And all of this is predicated on 2nd Timothy 2.24, but to be gentle to all, patient in humility, correcting those who are in opposition.

So are you operating in a spirit of gentleness until you're ready to be gentle, you are not qualified. You have not cleared the requirement for for correcting your spouse question number five are you recognizing your own shortcomings The phrase in Galatians 6 is considering yourself lest you also be tempted. He's telling us to look to ourselves, to make careful observation. Are you paying attention to yourself? Are you self-aware?

Do you understand if you're angry or not? Are you aware if you're hot under the collar? Are you aware whether your speech is condescending? Jesus taught his disciples to pay attention to themselves in judgment. He said, judge not that you be not judged, for with what judgment you judge, you will be judged.

And with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you and why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye but do not consider the plank in your own eye or how can you say to your brother let me remove the speck from your eye and look? A plank is in your own eye. Hypocrite, first remove the plank from your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye, Matthew 7, one through five. You know, are you recognizing your own shortcomings? Here is the reality.

When someone sins against us, we have also sinned in the same way. Maybe not exactly to the degree, but probably the same category. And so the apostle is really saying if you want to restore someone, you've got to consider your own shortcomings. And what that does is that prepares you to walk in humility because you see how you too have sinned in the same way and you're not qualified yet to correct your spouse until you've carefully considered your own sins. It's so much easier to focus on other people's sins and be blind to our own sins.

And that's why Jesus said, first remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Jesus is not saying, you're a sinner too, so just shut up. That's not what he's saying. He's saying you are a sinner too, and what you need to do is you need to get to the place where you see clearly about your own sin, and you're not qualified to correct your spouse until you're clear about how you have sinned in a similar way. Now all of these things of course must you know take time but so are you recognizing your own shortcomings and then question number six are you poised for forbearance are you poised for forbearance?

Now this one is really critical. He says, bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. The key word is forbearance. Are you going into this with an expectation of forbearance? To forbear is to carry a weight.

And what the apostle is saying is that if you're going to restore someone, you better be ready to wait. You better be ready to bear, to forbear. Are you willing to bear the weight over time? To forbear is to hold back. It allows us to bear the weight, as Paul says to the Ephesian Church, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love.

In other words, maybe you have identified your spouse's sin, but are you willing to put up with it? Maybe for a long time until God helps that spouse figure out that they need to deal with it. God has tremendous forbearance for me and for you. And as people made in his image, he calls us to do the same thing for one another. We don't throw in the towel, we don't give up, we continue to bear the weight.

And by the way, this doesn't just apply in marriage, it also applies in the church. This is one of the one another's in the Bible. The Apostle says bear one another's burdens. This is one of the 50 or so one another's that are in the Bible. And it shows how we operate in the church.

It shows how we operate with our brothers and sisters in the church. This is the tender hearted treatment that we ought to be giving to our brethren in the church. And everybody knows that some difficult things can happen in the church, but are you willing to forbear? Are you willing to bear the weight even for quite some time? Now, if the sin is egregious and public and needs to be addressed publicly, then it should be.

But with the apostle Paul in saying, bear one another's burdens, he's really talking about the kinds of things that might even be exasperating and difficult. But if you're going into correction with the determination to fix your spouse once and for all, you actually are doing something that's contrary to this passage of scripture. Until you recognize, you know, that you have a duty to forbear, you're not qualified to correct. But if you're going in for the long haul, and you are ready to bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ, then you're not just going for short-term fixes. You're actually working with one another over the long haul.

Marriage marriage is not a sprint. It's a marathon. It's a long race and the truth is There are things that just don't get fixed quickly. That's reality. And husbands and wives need to just have patience for one another and be willing to bear with real sinful behavior with their spouses.

OK. Question number seven. Are you condescending? Verse three, For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Okay?

This is the essence of condescension. You think you are so wise, you think you are so pure, and your spouse is the one with all the problems, you are sorely misled. And you're not qualified until you get off your prideful high horse that somehow you're the superior in the room. We like to think of ourselves as the superior in the room, in almost every relationship. We are very self-flattering people.

We think very highly of ourselves. And frankly, I found over the years that I typically think a lot more highly of myself than other people do. And you know what? That's because of pride. And, but, you know, when you're going into a moment of correction, are you looking down at your spouse?

Are you treating your spouse as an inferior? Are you the lofty one? Are you the superior? Are you the better? Are you the wiser with your spouse?

And the temptation is to just think more highly of ourselves than our fallen brothers and sisters. And we think we're better than they are. And you know it's it's so easy to get caught in ruts when we're dealing with one another like that. You know it was it was a few years ago it was a it was a frozen midwinter at another state I was driving down a country road with really deep ruts, and they were frozen ruts. And they kept that car just locked in the ruts.

You know, when the ruts in a dirt road freeze over, it's hard to get out of them. And if you try in the wrong place, you might bottom your car out. But these frozen ruts, they just kept me on the road. And the steering wheel, it was like driving a Tesla. I didn't even have to touch the steering wheel.

But staying in these kinds of ruts are really harmful to reconciliation in a marriage. So if there's anything that characterizes the love of Jesus Christ for me and for you. It's forbearance. And through forbearance, we love our spouses the same way that we've been loved. And that's why Jesus said in John 13, love one another as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

These are the laws of love. So if you're going to correct your spouse, I'll just repeat the questions. Do you understand the teaching of scripture? Are you spiritually minded? Are you pursuing the right objective to restore?

Are you operating in a spirit of gentleness? Are you recognizing your own shortcomings, considering yourself lest you also be tempted? And are you poised for forbearance, bear one another's burdens? And are you condescending? For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Do you see the brilliance of these instructions? They are brilliant. They are life-giving. They actually bring people together, and they cause one another to be able to live a long time together in the midst of their sanctification process. And this is the glory of God in marriage.

And there are no ways that are better than God's ways for a marriage. And they insert you into the most beautiful kingdom that exists and it's yours and you can have it And it comes right out of His Word. So, any questions anybody has about any of these things?