In the sermon 'The Use of the Rod As a Proof of Love,' Mike Davenport discusses the importance and biblical basis for corporal punishment as a demonstration of love. He addresses common objections to spanking, arguing that sparing the rod is equated with hatred, citing Proverbs 13:24. Davenport emphasizes that discipline should be prompt, diligent, and motivated by love, drawing from Scripture, such as Hebrews 12 and Proverbs 22:15. He clarifies that the term 'foolishness' in biblical texts refers to sinful tendencies, not mere childishness, and asserts that disciplining children is essential to correcting these inclinations. The sermon also differentiates between cultural chastisement, often driven by frustration, and biblical chastisement, which is intended for the child's benefit. Davenport cautions against inconsistency and emotional reactions in discipline and stresses the importance of prayer and reliance on divine wisdom. The sermon concludes with the notion that proper discipline leads to spiritual growth and the peaceable fruit of righteousness, fostering a deeper understanding of God's love and justice.

Well, a well-known Christian blogger in a post several years ago shared the following account that he witnessed at his daughter's soccer game. He writes, I think she might actually hate her child. She sat beside me at the soccer game, her daughter competing against mine. Meanwhile, her son sat beside her, or he did for a minute at least, until he got up and began to look longingly at the concession stand. He demanded a treat, first plaintively, then insistently, then angrily.

She protested for a while, saying something about not being his personal bank machine, but she caved soon enough and dug a few dollars out of her wallet. She told him to at least get something that they could share. I haven't eaten yet today. He wandered off and came back with a bag of jujubes, if that's how you pronounce it, I'm not sure. But you know I can't eat those, she said.

Now I can't share it with you. He smiled. It went on like this for the whole game. For an hour they bickered back and forth. For an hour she tried to control him with anger, with bribes, with treats.

She tried to make him apologize for his offenses. He just didn't care. He didn't care that he was displeasing his mom. She didn't care either. She didn't care that I and the others around her were squirming with discomfort as we heard it all unfold.

By the end of the game it struck me that she might actually hate her own child. I'm not convinced he's any more fond of his mother." Well such an account is indeed all too common in our culture today. And I'm afraid that the Church of Jesus Christ has not escaped the effort of the world to conform us into its image, such as a thing is not so uncommon in Christian churches anymore either. In an effort to run against the grain of our culture and to re-establish the rights of our Lord and Savior in the jurisdiction of our homes, I would like to preach to you on the use of the rod as a proof of love. And that's the title of the message, the use of the rod as a proof of love.

Can I ask you a question? Does that topic cause a bit of heartburn for you? Does it make you feel a bit uneasy? Well, can I say it lovingly but firmly? If it does, you have probably been affected by the world much more than you would like to admit.

Author Ted Tripp in his book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, lists some of the most common objectives or objections, excuse me, when the topic of corporal punishment comes up in the conversation. And since these things are, we have at least heard from others, if not thought of these very things in ourselves at some point in time, I would like for us to consider these arguments in the time before us and then seek to form a biblical grounded response. Well, the first objection that Paul Tripp states, or Ted Tripp rather, he says, I love them too much to spank them. That's the objection. I love them too much to spank them.

Well, I trust you come to this message today still holding on to the truth that we were confronted with last Sunday from Hebrews 12, that God, the perfect and just Heavenly Father, out of love chastens every son and daughter whom he receives, every son and daughter. To be without the chastening of God is to be outside of any relationship with him. And so having studied that passage in Hebrews 12 and in realizing that every word in Scripture is breathed out by the same God, we should not be surprised To come to such a text as Proverbs 13 24, where we read in regard to our parenting that the use of the rod is in fact a demonstration of love. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." So while many claim to love, they claim love, they say, I love my child, that's their claim, they claim that, That love is the reason they do not spank their children. The infallible Word of God declares that Sparing the rod is a demonstration of hatred towards that child.

Do not be conformed to the image of this world. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Let God be true in every man a liar." Note that Solomon states that love actually causes a parent to discipline the child promptly. The word promptly in the Hebrews seems to indicate being at a task early with the implication of earnestness. One translation renders it discipline him diligently.

If discipline is indeed a loving thing, why would we as parents not desire to engage the task at hand with promptness and diligence? If it's the loving thing, why would we be slow if it's truly loving? He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Dear ones, can anything be clearer than that? Is there any ambiguity with these words?

The response of the Christian should be, I love my children so much I must spank them. I love them so much, I must." Consider also Proverbs 22-15 where we read that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of correction will drive it far from him. The word foolishness should not be understood as childishness. There's nothing wrong with childishness. The Apostle Paul talks about when he was a child, he spoke as a child, he thought as a child, and when he became a man, he put away childish things.

He's not talking about sinful foolishness. Charles Bridges describes this foolishness here of driving it out as the mighty propensity to evil, imbibing wrong principles, forming bad habits, entering into an ungodly course. It includes all the sins of which a child is capable, lying, deceit, willfulness, perverseness, lack of submission to authority. If anyone says they love a child too much to spank them, then they are declaring that it is loving to allow and even encourage a child to go on in the ways of lying, deceit, willfulness, perverseness, and even lack of submission to authority. A second common objection is I am afraid of hurting them.

I'm afraid of hurting them. Now I believe we all know the reality of abuse in the world we live in. Be it physical abuse, spiritual abuse, or emotional abuse. We live in a fallen world and are capable of sinful responses that can bring wrongful hurt, scars. And I'm talking about wrongful hurt and scars not merely outward but even inward.

We should not lightly treat abusive situations. But the question we must ask, two questions really, Does all corporal punishment fall under the category of abusive? And second, what does the Bible have to say about the issue? Well, as we saw last week from Hebrews 12, the chastening of our Heavenly Father is painful. Short-term pain is the effect of all the chastening of His sons and daughters.

It brings pain. It's not intended to bring joy in the moment. Proverbs 23, 13 seems to tackle this subject head-on. Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die." Oh, they can sound like they're going to die. If you're a parent, you know that.

They can sound like they're going to die. In our house, such antics have never been tolerated. In fact, it actually increased the number they were to receive. We asked them, this is painful, but I'm asking you to subject to it. Because oftentimes that loud voice is their will against yours.

And so if that comes, you will get more than what I intended. Solomon has in mind here engaging in controlled Biblical and godly correction. Okay? Controlled, biblical, and godly correction. And Solomon says, news flash!

If you beat him, he will not die. In fact, the effect is quite the opposite. Solomon goes on in the next verse, Proverbs 23, 14, to state that you shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. When those two options are held before you dear parent, a momentary sore bottom and an eternally tormented soul. Pray tell, where should the weight of any fear of ours fall?

Where should it fall? Consider also Proverbs 20-30. Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart. Chasening does a work in the inner depths of the heart and is the means of the cleansing of evil." Another translation puts it more graph in more graphic terms, beatings and wounds cleanse away evil and floggings cleanse the innermost being. The Hebrew has in view bruising and stripes that come from the chastening.

Look, the one who created us knitted us together body and soul, body and soul in our mother's womb. He is the author of the manual describing how he wired us. He knows the intricacies of all the pain sensors and the synapses and everything that control the communication that flows through our bodies and the effect that that has on our spiritual beings. He knows it better than we do. He's all wise.

God has determined what is effective. He's determined. Shall we doubt him? Shall we question his wisdom? Romans 11 34 says, for who has known the mind of the Lord or who has become his counselor?

Maybe we ought to have some of these counsel God about how things should be done, how we're put together, body and soul. No. Let's move on to the third objection that is Alton stated. It's this, I am afraid of making them angry and rebellious. I am afraid of making them angry and rebellious.

I am afraid of making them angry and rebellious. To think that spanking is the culprit for anger and rebellion is to turn Scripture on its head. Quoting again from our text last week in Hebrews 12, now no chastening seems to be joyful for the moment, but painful. Nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Proverbs 29.1 says, he who is often rebuked and hardens his neck will suddenly be destroyed in that without remedy.

This verse instructs that anger and rebellion come as a result of not receiving or heeding the administered rebuke, but hardening the neck and digging in the heels, refusing to be changed by the punishment. Proverbs 29 15 states the rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. This text teaches that anger and rebellion are not grown from the seeds of rightly administered chastisement. Wisdom is the fruit of such sown seeds. It is the child that is left to his own ways that will bring shame to his parents and especially to you mothers who spend such an enormous amount of time with your children, and because your time is so extensive, and because you've put so much, your shame will be felt more intensely.

Oh, fathers will feel the shame too, but oh mothers because of that time that they've had with their children, it's intense. Now, does that mean that anger and rebellion are never the product of physical discipline? No, it does not. But the anger and rebellion in those instances don't come as a result of the use of the rod, but as the result of the way you use the rod. It's not the rod that brings rebellion and anger, but your use of it could.

Your use of it could. Consider a blade in the hand of a surgeon and a blade in the hand of a thief. Both are blades. They're both blades. They're both knives.

Both will bring pain. The real difference is in how the blade is used. And one will, one of those will cause a trip to the hospital, the other use is so that you might avoid another trip to the hospital. It's in how it's used. One commentator quoting another author provided the following helpful quote, cultural chastisement is done to the child.

A reaction activated by frustration, a last resort, meant to change outward behavior, a punishment of behavior, frustrating for the child and without positive long-term effects. Cultural chastisement is done to the child. Biblical chastisement, on the other hand, is done for the child, for them. A response activated by Rebellion, an act of love used to change inward attitudes intended to amend behavior, a means of clearing the child's guilty conscience and mold lifelong character for the child, not to the child. Dear children, learn to appreciate those little prepositions when you're doing your English grammar studies.

Little words, two and four. Though usually those prepositions are very short. They don't have a lot of excitement to them, but they can prove to be very important in their use. Let's move on to the fourth frequent objection listed by Mr. Tripp.

It doesn't work. It doesn't work. Dear ones, we live in a microwave culture. Everyone expects instantaneous results. We can too easily give up something because we don't see immediate results.

I wish I had a nickel for every time a parent says, we tried spanking, it doesn't work. That's like someone wanting to lose a large amount of weight and they go on a very strict diet but then quit after day four because, well, it just doesn't work. We don't think that way, right? There are things that, things worthwhile take time to come about. And we must keep several things in mind so as not to get discouraged.

First of all, Proverbs is not written to act as a list of guarantees. Okay? Proverbs is not listed, it's not written as a list of guarantees. Some divine vending machine where if you put in the required amount and you push the right button you'll get the same product every single time. Proverbs is a book set before us to show us the often tread paths of the providence of our God.

This is how our God most generally operates. These things are just born out over and over and over. Every circumstance, not always, but with the blessing of God these things come out. Second, many of the results that are spelled out within this book are long-term results. They are geared for the end result.

We too easily give up on things that require too much effort or that take too much time. Consider James 5, 7, and 8. Therefore, be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient.

Establish your hearts for the coming of the Lord is at hand." Or how about the psalm? Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping bearing seed for sowing shall doubtless come again with rejoicing bringing his sheaves with him. There are things that just take time. Third, accompany the chastening with much prayer, with much prayer.

The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." James 5 16. Psalm 127 1. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Tripp points out that it is not the spanking that fails, it is inconsistency, irresolution, Failing to actually inflict pain and hurt, and chastening and rage. Those are the things that most often cause the failure.

Charles Bridges also points out that Satan begins with the infant in arms. The cry of passion is his first stir of the native corruption. Do we begin as early? Every vice commences in the nursery. The great secret is to establish authority in the dawn of life, to bend the tender twig before the knotty oak is beyond our power.

But fearful indeed is the difficulty when the child has been the early master. To begin chastening when the habit of disobedience has been formed and hardened to have the first work to do when the child is growing out of childhood? Rarely indeed does this late experiment succeed. Fifth, the fifth objection, I am afraid I will be arrested. I am afraid I will be arrested.

I am afraid I will be arrested. Dear ones, the basis for such a fear has has never been greater. We live in a society that is seeking at every turn to remove the parental rights of parents within the family. Sometimes the threat may be issued by a child. I know of an instance.

Sometimes the threat comes from without, from an unconverted spouse, from extended family, or from some other direction. Such a fear should not keep us from our duty. The Bible is clear in regards to our duty, and we must obey God rather than men. However, we should proceed with wisdom. We need to proceed with wisdom.

We should not be negligent, but we should also not be cavalier. We should not be fearful, but we also need to make sure we're not careless. Rightly ascertain the level of urgency for the needed discipline. Rightly ascertain the surroundings you are in. Can it wait and be dealt with?

Not that it swept under the rug. Can it wait and be dealt with later? Or can it be handled in a more private setting? The day may come when such a thing as chastisement is actually illegal in the eyes of the government? Remember that the judgment of men does not change nor does it negate what our Lord has declared in his word.

He has forever established his word in the heavens. Remember that the rod is for the everlasting good of our children. We must face the question, Will I risk my own comfort in this world in order to spare my child from discomfort in the world to come? Am I willing to risk separation from them here in this world in hopes of not being separated from them in the world to come? When it comes to clear biblical commands that lay out for us our duty, our response to the authorities seeking to forbid our obedience must be like the responses of Peter and the Apostles to those authorities.

Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God you judge for we cannot but Should be our answer now instruct your children as to why you must chastise. Instruct them. Instruct them. Help them to grasp the reality that it is out of love. And dear ones, if you're gritting your teeth, squinted eyes, and then tell them it's out of love, it's not going to go over well.

Sometimes you may need to go and send them to the room while you go and pray and get your heart right before God so that you can tell them I'm doing this because I love you. I've been talking to the one who's told me to do this in His Word, and I love Him. He's my Father. He chastens me. I have to obey Him." Help them to understand that to ignore their disobedience is for you to disobey.

And you got two disobediences that you're dealing with. I would like to leave you with this thought. If you haven't heard anything else I've said, please listen to this. Chasing our children is a marvelous opportunity to give them the gospel. It is a marvelous opportunity to declare the gospel.

By chastening your child, you declare that there is a holy God who cannot look upon sin, that He has given us commands that flow out of His very being and essence, by chastening your child. You declare that all sin must be dealt with, that God the righteous judge must meet out punishment according to the sin committed. If you sweep it under the rug they think maybe God will sweep it under the rug no Sin can't be swept under the rug By chasing your child you declare that they themselves are a sinner. They're a sinner. And dear mom and dad, our children here in this place live very sheltered lives.

And that's a good thing. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. What am I saying? There is very limited opportunity sometimes to just pull back the curtain and for them to see how they've offended God. It's easy for them not to feel sometimes the weight of their own sinfulness because they, like we, too often look around us and like the Pharisee, Thank you Lord, I'm not like that one.

This is an opportunity for you to deal with the sin that's in your child's heart and it's bound up with it. Use it as an opportunity to show that they're a sinner. By chastening your child, you declare that the punishment that fell upon Christ was deserved. Not because of his sin, because of ours. Did God deal with his son roughly?

No. He had our sin and the sin had to be dealt with. He bore in his own body that which God could not countenance. By chastening your child, you declare to them the reality of life as a Christian. We studied it in Hebrews 12.

If they're going to become a Christian, you withhold discipline, they're not going to understand the discipline of God. They're going to have a hard time with dark providences that God brings into their life because they don't understand how that could come from a loving God. Because my parents didn't spank me because they loved me. And finally, by chastening your child you proclaim to them that when sin is dealt with, God's way, God's way, There can be sweet fellowship and communion. Sweet fellowship and communion.

I wasn't planning on saying this, but it came to my mind. My parents disciplined me a lot. I needed a lot of discipline growing up. But you know what? I can't remember a single, and I've thought about it through the years, I can't remember a single episode of my dad spanking me.

He did it lovingly, he did it faithfully, he did it often. Mom even more often because dad was at work at times when she was there with me. But one of the most, the only time I remember was the most painful time, and that's when I was a teenager and he stopped speaking to me. And no matter what I said to him, it was just yes. And he would turn his attention back to what he was doing.

Well dad, I was trying to think of anything. I wanted this communion. And I remember that like it was yesterday. And dear ones, do we teach our children that when we're done with our children, is there communion? Is there fellowship?

Are there signs of affection? If there aren't signs of affection, the discipline either hasn't gone far enough or you've got some problems in your own heart you need to deal with. What comes out of it is sweet communion. Did we not see this in our text this morning? As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.

Therefore, Be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him and he with me." Do you see what the precursor was? Do you see what the precursor was? Do you see what the precursor was?

As many as I love I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. And then we'll have sweet communion. Dear ones, that's what we want in our homes, to love and chasing our children out of love, to call on them to repent and to confess their sins. And when we see that, to have sweet communion because that's what our God does with us.

It's a brilliant, wonderful opportunity to show the love, the mercy, and the grace of our God. Don't miss the opportunity. Don't miss it. Well Dear parents, the use of the rod, it's a proof of love. May God make us faithful.

And you children, I declare to you the use of the rod is a proof of mom and dad's love. It is. Learn to be trained by it and as we saw last week, learning to be trained by chastening results in the peaceable fruit of righteousness. May God give us that in our homes. Let's pray.

Gracious God, we thank you, we praise you for your goodness to us. Oh Lord, your ways are ways of pleasantness and all your paths are peace. And Lord, when we go out of those ways, you are faithful, just, and right, and loving to discipline us, your children. Lord, help us to be filled with your ways, not our own thoughts. Help us not to go to the Gentiles to learn their ways, but may we learn your ways.

May we walk in those old paths And may we trust Your Word and give us wisdom and, O God, establish the work of our hands for us. Yes, establish the work of our hands. In Christ's name we pray. Amen. Thank you.