In his sermon titled 'Honor Within the Family: The Duties of Parents,' Mike Davenport discusses the importance of the fifth commandment from Exodus 20:12, which emphasizes honoring one's parents. He explores this commandment's role within the broader context of family dynamics and its implications for both children and parents. Davenport highlights the dual nature of the commandment, combining precept and promise, and discusses how parents can sometimes provoke their children through harsh, arbitrary, inconsistent, or hypocritical treatment. He underscores the necessity of aligning parental actions with biblical principles, particularly focusing on the non-provocation of children to anger and discouragement. The sermon offers practical advice for parents, including distinguishing between childish mistakes and disobedience, maintaining consistency, avoiding favoritism, and keeping promises. Davenport also encourages parents to seek forgiveness from both God and their children for past mistakes, drawing on biblical examples to illustrate the importance of reconciliation and the transformative power of grace. The sermon concludes with a call to study God's fatherly example and to strive towards parenting that reflects His love, consistency, and justice.

We come today to verse 12, Exodus 20 and verse 12. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may belong upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Let us look to the Lord in prayer. Our gracious God we thank you for your goodness, for your mercy to us. Lord, we thank you that we have your word to lead and to guide us.

And, oh Father, today we pray that We will gaze long into this mirror and see and not soon forget what manner of men and women we are. Lord, that we would not be simply hearers of the word today and go back to our homes unchanged. So search us, O God, know us, Lord, see if there be any wicked way in us, and cleanse us, O God. Put us on the right paths, for we desire to walk according to your word, to do those things that are pleasing unto you that we would honor our Father in heaven. Lord, help us in these things.

Get glory to your name, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. You may be seated. Well, we move today from the first table of the law to the second table.

Thomas Watson notes, the commandments may be likened to Jacob's ladder. The first table respects God and is the top of the ladder that reaches to heaven. The second table respects superiors and inferiors and is the foot of the ladder that rests on the earth. By the first table, we walk religiously towards God. By the second, we walk religiously towards man.

He cannot, he cannot be good in the first table. That is bad in the second." We must note that last statement particularly. The Ten Commandments are a summary of what it means to love God and to love man. Jesus made that very clear in his summary of the law. So as we come to the second table of the law, let us come with the right attitude towards these remaining six commandments.

As the Apostle John comes to the end of the fourth chapter of his first epistle, he states rather emphatically, if someone says, I love God and hates his brother. He is a liar. For he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from him, that he who loves God must love his brother also. Well we must consider the scope of this command.

The mere reading of the fifth commandment indicates rather clearly right there on the surface that God is speaking to all sons and daughters and He is doing so, we must note, without respect to age. My friend, if you are here this day and you have a father and or a mother still here in the land of the living, you owe them honor. You owe them love. And if you are still a child and under the roof and thus their direct authority within the scope of that honor and love, do them is also obedience. And we see that clearly from such texts as Ephesians 6.1 and Colossians 3.20.

But if we simply consider the way in which Jesus divides the law, we would see that this command implies our duty to our neighbor. If we are so foolish to ask Christ who our neighbor actually is, He would point to the answer that he provided in the teaching of the one who has come to be known as the Good Samaritan. The purpose of Christ was to teach us that we owe love to practically everyone we come into contact with and some degree of honor in keeping with their station in life, especially in reference to us. As Paul simply states in Romans 13, let every soul be subject to the governing authorities for there is no authority except from God and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Render therefore to all their due taxes to whom taxes are due, custom to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.

Interestingly, Paul goes on in that chapter to list the remaining five commandments. In doing so, Paul deals in that text with the Christian's duty to the entire second table of the law. Well, 1 Peter 2 exhorts us to submit ourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake. Honor all people. Love the brotherhood.

Fear God. Honor the king. Literally, Peter says, honor all. That word people is not in the original. And as we learn from the teaching of Jesus and what has come to be known as the Sermon on the Mount, there is more to the law than simply what is stated in Exodus 20.

The law reaches into every nook and into every crevice of our hearts. Well, having stated the far reaching intentions of the command, and we'll spend more time in that later, I would like to begin today to focus on the impact it should have within the family. And this will take quite a few weeks to handle and we'll only scratch the surface. After dealing with the family, we may touch upon the implication of the commandment in other areas of our life. Now there is in the commandment here both precept and promise, and the two are tied together.

Paul declares it to be the first commandment with promise. You see, there's an incentive. And the fact that there is an incentive speaks volumes to us where our hearts are naturally found. We don't naturally desire to show honor. As creatures, we are filled with pride and selfishness.

We desire, each of us, our own autonomy. Dear ones, God has been gracious to grant a promise with this commandment, honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you." Or as Paul states in New Covenant terms, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. On the earth. Does anyone, does anyone here have any interest whatsoever in long life and things going well during that life? You young people, you children, are you interested in that?

You parents, is that something you desire for yourself? How about for your children? Parents, do you desire that for your children? Shall the God of heaven and earth promise something and we treat it as insignificant and not worth our endeavors to lay hold of and to obtain? Let us then approach this commandment with great joy in regard to the great promise and yet great solemnity in regard to the precept and what it is God wants from us.

Let us also approach this commandment with the realization That the God who said, you shall have no other gods before me is the same God who said, you shall honor your father and your mother. Well, at this point, I would ask you to turn with me to Ephesians chapter 6, Ephesians chapter 6, and to look with me at the first four verses. Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 4. Children, and you'll note that this was a letter to be read to the churches, and Paul's assumption is that children would be there among the congregation hearing these words. He's addressing them.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath. Paul similarly writes to the Colossians and says, fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. In both texts, he addresses fathers.

Now, having just described the oneness that exists within the marriage in the previous chapter. Paul must be understood to be including mothers in this admonition. Mothers do not get a free pass. However, it is evident that Paul in both the Ephesians and Colossians texts, is addressing fathers specifically. And I would argue for two reasons.

First, Reason number one, fathers are the heads of their home. Fathers, they're the head of the home. The responsibility of the home rests squarely and completely upon his shoulders. When God came to the garden after the fall of man, he called out to Adam. Where are you?

It was Adam who had to give answer to God. It was Adam who was initially addressed. Men, you can pass the buck all you want to. You can abdicate your role in the home. You can disengage from the family in so many different ways.

The bottom line remains the same. You are ultimately held accountable. You're responsible to God. Are you ready to give an account? You will on that last day, men.

You will. No matter what you decided, you will be held accountable. But I believe there to be a second reason, reason number two, fathers are more prone to this provocation. Fathers are more prone to this provocation. As it is the tendency for mothers to be overindulgent, so It is the tendency of fathers to be overbearing.

Now, personalities and backgrounds can actually reverse those tendencies. And in a single parent home, even as it is sometimes in our own hearts, there can be swings from one extreme to the other. Overindulgence giving way to liberties taken by the child that end up drawing out of us an overbearing response. So however accurate the portrayal of those tendencies may or may not be in your particular home, we still must face the exhortation head on. Fathers and mothers, we are not to provoke our children lest they become angry or discouraged.

And this is no small matter. It's not insignificant. The commentator, RCH Linsky, states the importance like this, quote, the father who mismanages his child makes it next to impossible for his child to be what it should be. And thus robs his child of the blessing of the fifth commandment and brings God's curse upon his child as well as upon himself." It's robbery. It's robbery because it sets your child up for the refusal to be blessed.

Now the Greek word for provoking is in the present imperative tense, which indicates a repetitive action. We are not to over and over provoke them to anger. To continue on in patterns of such provocation leads a child to anger, discouragement, or a crushed and broken spirit. Well with the remainder of our time this morning, I would like for us to consider ways that we as dads and moms can be guilty of provoking our children to wrath and resulting often in a broken spirit. This is not an exhaustive list.

I've actually thought of others, and no doubt you will also as we work through these. But may God's spirit search us and know us and reveal to us our sins that we may repent and trust in Christ afresh. So the first way that we as parents can provoke our children is harsh treatment. Harsh treatment. We show harshness when we overreact to an incident, When we punish in a manner that exceeds the offense, when we raise our voices unnecessarily, when we don't bear with their weaknesses, their childishness, or their mistakes.

You see, we need to distinguish in our parenting between disobedience and childish forgetfulness. And oftentimes, you can see it. You don't have to ask, right? You can say, don't touch that. Don't touch that again, son.

And sometimes you can see. That's defiance. That's willingly. But you can also, another time, say, son, I'd like for you to stay confined to the living room, play there, And they're having a good time in there and they're enjoying themselves and they run to the next room and they stop and they realize where they are and they look back at you like, oh no, it's childish forgetfulness. We need wisdom.

We need to distinguish between a child making a mistake and purposefully choosing to sin. The harshness most often proceeds from a distorted view of who we are and what we have received from God. One has noted before that no one brings the law quite like the one who thinks he's keeping it. It's a heart check for all of us. No one brings the law quite like the one who thinks he's keeping it.

We forget too quickly the mercy and the forgiveness we have received. How does our Father deal with us? How does He deal with us? Well, the psalmist declares that as a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear him, for he knows our frame. He remembers that we are dust.

One hymn writer penned these true and wonderful words, Thou, O Lord, hast the true and perfect gentleness, no harshness hast thou, and no bitterness. Make us to taste the sweet grace found in thee, and ever stay in thy sweet unity. Fathers, mothers, do your children know something of that gentleness and tenderness that you have experienced from your Father in heaven. Secondly, arbitrary treatment. It doesn't take very long for our children to begin to see past the demand and take note of what the driving factor is behind our demand.

Is there rhyme or reason for the demands we lay upon our children? As our children get older, our parenting changes as they do. Our parenting must recognize more and more the necessity of sharing with them why we make the decisions that we do. We don't owe our two-year-old an explanation. They need to learn just to simply obey.

But as our children mature in age, it's wise – you don't have to do it all the time, but it's wise to begin to share your reasoning for the demands that you make upon them. They need to learn to wrestle with all of the things that go into making wise decisions. They can sense when our decisions are random or without good reason. And when those decisions are so, this is a provocation. They begin to sense that we are acting in an unloving or vengeful way.

We are being ruled by emotions and not reason. They have no other choice but to believe that we are operating with some other interest than their best interest. How does God deal with us? Is God arbitrary and is dealing with us? Romans 8, 28 and 32.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, How shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Let us be purposeful in our parenting even as our father in heaven is. Number three, a third way that we can provoke our Children is inconsistent treatment, inconsistent treatment. How often do we respond to our children according to how our day is going.

A particular deed that may go on on a Monday, it may go on unnoticed. No big deal. The same deed done on Thursday results in angry words and frustration. What was the difference? Circumstances.

Circumstances. Your Monday happened to get off to a good start. The Lord's Day had blessed your soul and prepared you for the week ahead, but Thursday? Everything started going wrong as soon as you got out of bed. When there is such inconsistency in our parenting, kids will inevitably feel as they're having to Walk on eggshells, eggshells every day and all day.

They don't know what to expect. Reigning subjectivity in your heart, mom and dad, has created inconsistency in how you respond. What it boils down to is that we view ourselves and not God as the one who is ruling in the family. We are governed by how we feel in the moment and not consistently by the Word of God. Our children then are forced to pick and to choose what they may feel is the right time to approach mom and dad.

Not now. Woo, not now. Not now, woo, not now. That things simmer down a bit or they may choose to not communicate at all. What about our Father in Heaven?

James describes him as the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. The writer to the Hebrews declares Jesus Christ to be the same today, yesterday, and forever. When his children ask, he always gives them good gifts. Let us seek to be consistent in our dealings with our children even as our heavenly father is. Fourth, favoritism in treatment.

Favoritism in treatment. Sometimes the inconsistency we just mentioned comes in the form of inconsistency between our interactions with our children. An inconsistency that smells of favoritism. There can be an imbalance in how we respond to two kids even if they both do the same thing. Do you recall the biblical narrative of the young man who had a special coat of many colors?

The coat was to his siblings a daily reminder of the fact that their father loved him the most. He got preferential treatment. What was the result? Well, the brothers were provoked to anger. They were provoked to anger.

And It wasn't Joseph's fault. They were provoked to anger, and that anger ended in the selling of Joseph into slavery. Such was their hatred that they were not ashamed of lying, lying to their father about what had happened to Joseph, tearing his clothes up, putting some blood on it. Guess a wild beast got him, purposefully lying to their father. Sometimes we will have to help our kids understand that there are privileges that come with age and with responsibility.

I'm not suggesting we Treat our 18-year-old like we do our 8-year-old. We'll have to help them understand that. And we will need wisdom from God because our children can also be very different. They're wired different. They respond differently, just like we do with our heavenly Father.

But what we must fight against is demonstrating, demonstrating a difference in heart attitude towards any of our children. We need to love them all equally. Peter declares that God judges according to each one's work without partiality. Our God is without partiality, 1 Peter 1, 18. May God free us from the sin of Jacob and the provocation that it engendered in the hearts of his sons.

Number five, double standards. Double standards. You have heard the phrase, do as I say, not as I do. You know it. You know it.

I'm afraid There's a reason why this phrase is so well known. There's far too often an element at minimum, an element of truthful application, and in other times, full application. In other words, the shoe usually fits. How often have we required things of our children that we're unwilling to do ourselves? And if not, we're not too zealous of it.

Dear ones, That is precisely what the Pharisees did. Christ's perfect analysis of them is found in Matthew 23, 4, for they bind heavy burdens hard to bear and lay them on men's shoulders. But they themselves, they will not move them with one of their fingers. Dad, Mom, We can be like Pharisees when it comes to our kids, holding them to a standard that we don't hold ourselves to. Let me give you an illustration.

We as dads, we can discipline our children for not honoring their mother. And we should. We should. But yet, we can neglect the exhortation of Peter to dwell with her with understanding, giving honor to her as to the weaker vessel. First Peter 3, 7.

Son, honor your mother. And then we turn around and dishonor her ourselves. Does our Father in heaven maintain a double standard? Does he call us to things that he would not do, cannot do, will not do? Absolutely not.

1st Peter 1 15 and 16 says, as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct because it is written, be holy for I am holy. No double standards. Parents, we need to do some soul searching. We need to do some soul searching. Number six, the sixth way that we can provoke our children to wrath, to anger, and discouragement is hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy. Now, hypocrisy is often at the heart of the previous point, the double standard. But what I have in mind here is this, ratcheting up the demands upon our children when we're out in public. Ratcheting up those demands when we're out in public. This, unlike what we just considered, is not a double standard in the sense of what applies to the child should also apply to the parent.

This is a double standard in regard to private life versus public life. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Things that have not been important at all in the training of our children suddenly suddenly become important when we are in the presence of others. The parenting in that scenario is not engaged with the child's development and maturation. That's not what's in view there.

It's our image and what people think of us. We're embarrassed. We're embarrassed. And we seek to shift that embarrassment, that's due us, upon the child. Upon the child.

We haven't cared enough to deal with it in our homes. But in that moment, we exposed a reality that we're well aware that we should have been addressing it all along. Therefore, when in the presence of others, we sense the expectation that is upon us, and we so bark at the kids as if they should have known that something they're always allowed to do, it's suddenly not acceptable. And you can see it on their faces sometimes, the shock. What?

What did I do? What did I do? It's utterly selfish. And as the kids get older, they become acutely aware of the hypocrisy that exists at the very heart of the motives. The hypocrisy provokes them to discouragement and even to anger.

We need a parent out of love for them, not out of love for ourselves. We love ourselves enough. We need to love our child. How is it with our Heavenly Father? Hebrews 12, 9, and 10 says, furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect.

That is, we honored them. Shall we not much more readily be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them. But how does he do it? But he for our prophet that we may be partakers of his holiness.

That's the end. The end is for us and for our profit. May we not be hypocritical. May we love our child and parent them out of that love, not out of the love for ourselves and our image. Number seven, another way to provoke our children is failure to keep your word.

Failure to keep your word. Now in our lives, goodwill and love often give way to readiness to demonstrate themselves by proclaiming to others intentions or promises that we utter so easily and quickly. And it is not always a questioning of the intentions that is at the heart of the issue. We most often mean well, and we have good intentions. But it can also become a way of life where we give very little thought as to how actually we will fulfill the things that we said we would do.

Yes, sometimes circumstances get in the way of the keeping of our word. But our Children, as they grow older, will be able to grasp the realities of such interruptions in spite of whatever disappointment may be felt. But mom and dad, our children are provoked to anger and or discouragement when we fail to follow through with the things we have said. And the right response is not to determine that you will never declare good intentions again, but simply to think before you speak. But having spoken, to then follow through on what you said you would do.

The Bible is full of the promises of our Father in heaven, and He follows through on every promise uttered, every one of them. Joshua was able to declare unto the children of Israel, you know, you know in all your hearts and in all your souls that not one thing has failed of all the good things, all the good things which the Lord your God spoke concerning you, all have come to pass for you. Not one word of them has failed. Joshua 23, 14. May we be more like our Father in heaven who keeps His Word.

Number eight, a fault-finding spirit, a fault-finding spirit. You don't have to be a certified horticulturalist to understand or appreciate the benefits of drip irrigation. Do your children know what drip irrigation is? So we've got a little small raised bed garden out back and rather than watering it once or twice a day. We have an irrigation system that's just a slow release system.

It's a hose that runs through the bed and it ever so often, there's a timer and it'll turn on and out of the spigot will flow the water and it flows into this hose. They call it a soaker hose sometimes and it'll just soak that bed all throughout the day. Now a blast of water from a hose for a few minutes will not sustain the plants that are abiding during the day under the scorching heat of a blazing Sun. So it is with our kids. We can far too often be like the scorching heat of the Sun to our children causing a wilting or drying of their spirits.

And though they need the heat and the light to thrive, okay, we're thankful for the sun, the plants need that, but though our children also need, as it were, that heat and light, their souls flourish. They flourish under the steady drip of encouragement. Pastor and author John S. C. Abbott wrote this, quote, It is at times necessary to censure and to punish.

But very much, very much may be done by encouraging children when they do well. Be even more careful to express your approval of good conduct than your disapproval of bad. Nothing can more discourage a child than a spirit of incessant thought finding on the part of its parent. There are two great motives, he says, influencing human actions, hope and fear. Both of these are at times necessary, but who would not prefer to have his child influenced to good conduct by the desire of pleasing rather than by the fear of offending.

If a parent never expresses gratification when the children do well and is always censuring when seeing anything amiss. They are discouraged and unhappy. They feel that there is no use in trying to please at last, finding that whether they do good or bad, they are equally found fault with. They quit all efforts to please and become hardened to the chronic criticism." End quote. Mothers, is the law of kindness on your tongue?

We think a lot of that Proverbs 31 woman, but this is what was true of her. The law of kindness was on her tongue. Fathers, are you nurturing? Are you nurturing? Not blasting.

Are you nurturing your sons and daughters? Now it's true, our heavenly Father disciplines all His children. We don't set aside discipline. Our Father has not set it aside. But this is his eternal disposition towards you, his child.

It's this, Zephaniah 3.17, he will rejoice over you with gladness. He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing. And if you look at it in its context, he's bringing his discipline to an end and stating this is his heart. He rejoices over you with gladness, with singing.

He quiets you with his love. May we be more like him. The ninth and final way of provoking our children is treating them as less important. Treating them as less important. Now what do I mean by that?

Less important than what? Well let me give you several ways that we can do this. This is certainly, again, not to be taken as exhaustive. There may be others that come to your mind, but here are three ways. First, treating them as less important than material things.

Treating them as less important than material things. Do our kids cringe when they make a mistake? When they accidentally break or damage something, or when they inadvertently put a dent in our wallet, do they cringe? Are we guilty of caring more about something that will be burned up at the end of time than an eternal soul that each day is being shaped for an eternity in heaven or in hell. Should we not consider the words of Christ in Mark 8, 36 and 37, for what will it profit a man If he gains the whole world and loses his own soul, or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

And dear mom and dad, shall we apply this to our own lives, and yet not to the souls of the dear children whom God has placed in our care. Shall we care for the things of this world more than for their souls? A second way that we treat them as less important is treating them less important than our feelings. Than our feelings. What do I mean by that?

Well, God has given you to your children to be parents to them, not to be best buddies. Do you understand that, parents? God has given you to those children to be parents and not to be best buddies. Parenting requires a certain dying to self. A willingness to sacrifice money, to sacrifice time, and to sacrifice energy, yes, but sometimes even to sacrifice temporary peace, pleasantness, and fellowship.

Fellowship. Think of Eli and the relationship that he had with his two sons. Eli was not willing to cross their wills at an early age, And it led to great problems when they were adults. God told Samuel of his intentions in 1st Samuel 3, 11 to 13. Then the Lord said to Samuel, behold, I will do something in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle.

In that day I will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house from beginning to end, for I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity, not that he had done, which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile and He did not restrain them. He did not restrain them. Think of David's relationship with Adonijah who sought to grasp the kingdom from his father, even as his older brother, Absalom, had done. The root cause of most of the problems David was dealing with is revealed to us by Scripture in 1 Kings 1 6. God, as it were, pulls back the curtain and lets us in on something nowhere else revealed.

It reads this, and Adonijah's father, David, had not rebuked him at any time. He had not rebuked him at any time by saying, why have you done so? As parents, we cannot allow our feelings to rob us of our duty to our children. If we do, they may grow to hate us and even our God, even as the Examples from scripture so powerfully remind us. And then third, treating them as less important than your works or hobbies.

Treating them as less important than your work or hobbies. This failure is most often seen in regard to our use of time. Are your children sacrificed on the altar of your occupation or your favorite pastime? Do they always come out with the short straw when it comes to what you decide to give your attention to? They will be provoked first to discouragement if they think that they are less important.

And in their discouragement, they will seek to find that importance somewhere else. How does our God view us? Of what importance are we, His people, to Him? Romans 8 32 answers that question loudly and clearly. He who did not spare his own son, but delivered him up for us all.

How shall he not with him also freely give us all things? You see, his people are as the very apple of his eye. Well, as we have gone through these things today, maybe your spirit has been convicted, even as mine was in the preparation of this message, as I wrestled with these things. These things weren't new to me. It's not like I didn't already know them.

But these truths came to me as a Nathan the prophet pointing their long bony finger at me and declaring, you're the man, you're the man. Brothers and sisters, we can't hit the rewind button. We can't hit it. We can't go back and unsay the things that we've said, but to God we could. We can't unsay the things we said.

We can't undo the things that we've done. So what hope do we have? What hope do we have? Well, The first bit of hope that we have is found in 1 John 1, 9. If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Ultimately you see our sin is against God. Ultimately it's not our children. Oh, we've sinned against our children. Don't get me wrong. But chiefly, our sin is against God.

The one who has been The one who has been most offended, the one who has been most offended is ready to forgive and to cleanse us. The blood of Christ covers the multitude of our sins. There is forgiveness at the cross of Christ. That's why our Father sent His Son into the world at the right time. Born of a virgin, made under the law to redeem, redeem those who were under the law, who were breakers of that law.

What a merciful and gracious God. But what about our children? What about our children? Well second, after having confessed our sins to God, we should seek their forgiveness as well. The Bible tells us that if anyone has something against us, that we are to go to them and seek to make it right, Matthew 5, 23 and 24.

And Proverbs 28, 13 tells us that he who covers his sin will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. The wonderful thing about young children is that they are so ready. They're so ready to forgive And forget. And even as they get older, as it may become harder for them to do it, natural love often enables our children to truly forgive. Bless God that it's so.

I want to share with you a couple of experiences of true blessing that others have written about. I believe these will encourage you. The first is a childhood experience in the life of Dr. James Dobson. He wrote this, I remember working with my father one day in the backyard when I was 15 years of age on a day when he was particularly irritable for some reason.

He just crabbed at me for everything I did, even when I hustled. Finally, he yelled at me for something I considered petty, and I just threw down the rake and I quit. I just walked off and I walked across our property and down the street while my dad demanded that I come back. And let me just interject this. This is not a suggestion of how you children should handle these things, okay?

He's sharing an experience. Don't latch on to things that he's not trying to teach, okay? He says, it was one of the few times in my life that I ever took him on like that. Well, I meandered around town for a while, wondering what would happen to me when I finally went home. And I ended up at my cousin's house on the other side of town.

After several hours there, with knees quaking, I called home. Stay there, said my dad. I am coming over. To say that I was nervous would be a gross misunderstatement. In a short time, dad arrived and asked to see me alone.

Bo, he's began. I didn't treat you right this afternoon. I was riding your back for no good reason, and I want you to know I'm sorry. Your mom and I want you to come home now." it was a difficult moment for him to listen to these words. James Dobson said this, he made a friend for life.

He made a friend for life. Here's another. Sam Crabtree, one of the pastors at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, at least at the time of the writing. Sam tells the story of his 11-year-old daughter. He and his wife felt like they were losing her.

The Silence and alienation momentum was bad and forecast an even worse teenage era. So Sam began a careful study of his daughter to rescue her. And this is what Sam Crabtree wrote, as I entered her room that day, I noticed that she had arranged the items on the top of her dresser in such a way that the taller things were in the back row and shorter things were stair-stepped toward the front so that you could see everything. I exclaimed, I like what you've done here. You're a methodical.

This makes complete sense. Very orderly. Very systematized. I see the character of God in this. And with that, I walked out, ignoring the rest of the tsunami in her room.

Okay? It's important, ignoring. It's important, ignoring. Only a few minutes later, I happened to walk past the kitchen when she was hugging her mom. I made affirming her my responsibility.

I kept up the barrage of affirmation and listened to the words in a matter of days, we had our daughter back. To this very day, the channels of communication are open and sweet." Does that mean that your experience will be like theirs? Not necessarily. But dear moms and dads, if we don't own up to our sins and failures and to our own contribution to bad attitudes and reactions, We will never, never, never be in a position to receive such blessings. And at the end of the day, duty is ours.

Duty is ours. The results are our God's. The results are our God's. But let us hang on the promise held out in Joel 2.25 that God can restore the years that the locusts have eaten. God can do that.

My friend, he took just a little bit of bread and a little bit of fish and fed thousands and there was more left over than he began with. Don't underestimate what our God can do. The third thing that provides us hope is the studying of our Father in heaven. You see, He has purpose to conform us to His image. What hope?

What hope? To work his righteousness more and more into our lives. Study him at his son's baptism and note his actions well. The first thing is that the father was present. He was present.

He was there. If I can say it reverently, he didn't miss it. Second, he made his presence known and felt in a tangible way. He sent the Spirit to descend and rest upon his son and he gifted his son. He anointed him as it were for the ministry he was entering.

It was like the oil being poured out upon the priest. Christ was getting ready to enter. This was his entering into his priesthood. God gifted him with this anointing. He was present.

He made his presence known and felt in a tangible way. Third, he identified with his son. He did not remain silent. He acknowledged to all present, this was his son. My son, he said.

He made that presence tangible and felt by identifying with his son. Fourth, He demonstrated affection. He demonstrated affection. He proclaimed His love for His Son. Christ was called His beloved Son.

His beloved son. You see the father is always, always delighted in his son from all eternity. And fifth, the father proclaimed his great pleasure in his son. He proclaimed his great pleasure in his son. In his son.

With Christ, he was well pleased. Matthew's narrative shows that the Father intended the people to know his delight in his Son. Mark's narrative focuses on the Father's intent that Christ himself knew of the delight that he had in him. Let us strive to learn more from our great God and in learning be brought more and more into His likeness. Well, may God grant us grace as parents to purpose, to purpose, not to provoke our children to anger, to not discourage them in any way.

Let us consider the command that God has charged our children with and let us seek to aid them in the keeping of the fifth commandment by not making the commandment more difficult by acting in ways that make it hard for them to honor us. Let us consider the promise that God has held out to our children and let us do everything within our power to help them lay hold of that promise, that it may be well with them and they may live long on the earth. Next week, Lord willing, we will consider the positive command to bring our children up in the training, in the admonition of the Lord. Let us seek him in prayer. We need help.

Gracious God, we thank you for your word. Lord, your word is sharp and powerful. And Lord, it's like a two-edged sword. And we thank you that this word comes to us in your hand so that it does good and not harms. Oh Lord, we have sinned in so many ways.

I have sinned in so many ways. Oh Lord, grant unto us forgiveness. Give us grace to seek forgiveness where it needs to be sought. Lord, give us grace to study what a great and awesome Heavenly Father you are and give us grace to walk in your ways. Oh God we pray all of these things in Christ's Holy name.

Amen. Let us take just a few minutes to consider these things.