In the sermon titled 'The Rod,' Jason Dohm addresses the biblical perspective on corporal discipline, focusing on the use of the rod in parenting. The sermon is rooted in Hebrews 12 and Proverbs, emphasizing the concept that God disciplines those He loves, and thus parents are to reflect this in their child-rearing practices. Dohm argues that the Bible supports the use of physical discipline as a tool for correcting moral deficiencies and instilling obedience in children. He contrasts this with the secular view, particularly the position of the American Academy of Pediatrics, which opposes spanking. The sermon stresses the importance of a theological framework that views discipline as a reflection of God's own methods, rather than mere behavior modification. Practical advice is provided, including ensuring that discipline is not driven by anger, balancing the use of the rod with affection, and maintaining clear and consistent boundaries. Dohm also highlights the necessity for parents to be the primary disciplinarians and warns against the cultural shift that dismisses biblical teachings on corporal punishment.

Good morning, everybody. Today's sermon text will be in Hebrews 12. I'll be reading from verse 3 through verse 15. Hebrews 12, verses 3 through 15. For consider him who endured such hostility from sinners against himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.

For you have not resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin, And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as sons. My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him. For whom the Lord loves, he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as sons. For what son is there whom a father does not chasten?

But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but he for our profit that we may be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present but painful.

Nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down and the feeble knees and make straight paths for your feet so that what is lame may not be dislocated but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all people and holiness without which no one will see the Lord. Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this many become defiled. Let's pray.

Oh Heavenly Father we we thank you for your word. Lord, we thank you that it pierces our hearts. Lord, we ask now during this time of preaching, Lord, that you would be with Jason as he brings your word to us, Lord, that by your grace, you would use this means of preaching to, for those who know you, strengthen us, encourage us, and convict us, and cause us more to look to Christ as the only source of our salvation, Lord, that we would depend on him. And Lord, that you would reach those whose hearts do not belong to you. Lord, that they would know of their reliance on you for salvation of their sins.

Lord, they would come to know what a sweet thing it is to be disciplined by a loving and gracious Heavenly Father. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. The title of the sermon this morning is The Rod. I was trying to think of an elegant sermon title for this, and This reflects my inability to do so.

This is the topic for this morning. It makes it a strange week at Sovereign Redeemer in the sense that we almost never preach topical sermons on Sunday mornings. We have this radical commitment to sequential exposition, verse by verse, chapter by chapter, book by book. And I'm so glad. I think that is the preacher's best friend, sequential exposition, because you know that what you're preaching is what the Lord's people need and you're anchored to something that sort of controls you in your preparation for the preaching.

So thank God in heaven for sequential exposition. But one of the things that James and I have been realizing is that there are certain things, certain topics, that our older children have heard a lot about because 10 or 15 years ago we were hammering on certain family discipleship topics and trying to understand with clarity what the Bible said and trying to understand good ways, effective ways to articulate those things. So we were working hard in these areas and talking about it a lot. And our older children heard about it a lot. It was the subject of many a conference message.

But we're realizing that many of our younger children, because we're not in that phase of hammering on that topic, trying to figure out how to articulate it effectively, that we just haven't talked about it in a long time. And in some cases, our children have never really even heard us talk about it at length or in a meaningful way. And this is really one of them. I think there's one sense in which I'm preaching to the choir this morning. I don't think I have a controversial topic here, although it would be a controversial topic many places.

But we have our children here. Some of our younger children really haven't heard us talk about this much at all. This is aimed at parents, of course, but most of us, or many of us, the heavy lifting of parenting has been done for us. We're still parenting, of course, and will be while we draw breath. But the young years are done for us.

And So this is aimed every bit as much at future parents. We have future parents here, and some young future parents. So We want the current parents to understand what the Bible says, to have a heart to obey it, have an ability and willingness to defend it, but at the same time, children, do not zone out. Do not tune out to say, this is a message from my mom and dad. Not true.

This is aimed every bit, maybe more so, towards future parents. Today we're talking about the rod because the tide has definitively turned against corporal discipline. Corporal discipline being spanking, the rod, a physical discipline more than just words. The tide has definitively turned against corporal discipline, or the rod, or spanking, a long time ago out there, where the world does what the world does, thinks like the world thinks. But it's not just out there anymore.

There are popular evangelical voices too. There are popular voices actually in the homeschooling movement, which is the last place you might expect to find it, where the tide has turned against what I'm going to argue this morning that the Bible teaches about corporal punishment or spanking or the rod. And so there are people even in evangelical circles, even in homeschool circles, who quote liberally from the American Academy of Pediatrics and then dismiss or explain away what the Bible says in very plain terms. So by the way, if you want to know what the American Academy of Pediatrics says, they say, don't spank ever for anything. So this is what the world now thinks on the topic.

And that's not true from the time when my wife and I were growing up, if you're older in the congregation, probably when you were growing up. Even out there, there was a recognition that there were certain times and circumstances under which corporal punishment or the rod or spanking would be not only appropriate but necessary. But that is not the case today. So We have evangelicals quoting the American Academy of Pediatrics, don't ever spank, not for any reason, not at any time, and then dismissing or explaining away what's in the Bible. And it's never right to do that.

These are people who have rejected our whole worldview, and then so they look at the same facts and come to different conclusions and we're drinking in those conclusions. I just want to plant a flag and say, that's wrong. The people of God don't do that. The people of God think that this is the revelation of truth from heaven and no expert who contradicts this is actually an expert. That's not true.

They don't deserve that label. So in this environment we must have a firm grasp on the Bible. What does the Word of God say? And we need to have hearts that want to obey whatever it is that God says and that are ready to defend it. Friends, if we don't defend it, we're going to lose it.

If we're not prepared to defend this, we are going to lose this. Many places in the world have lost the ability to legally use the rod, spank, have corporal discipline, whatever term you want to use, and it'll come here. It'll come here. So we have to be prepared to defend it. Our time this morning, I'm going to have three headings.

Number one, review what the Bible says about the rod, beginning with Proverbs, we'll spend a lot of our time in Proverbs. Number two, put the rod within a theological framework in other words what does this have to do with God till the Christian knows what a topic has to do with God you don't understand the topic at all so what does the rod spanking corporal punishment have to do with God and what He's like and how He acts in the world. Number three, provide some practical thoughts on the application of the rod, where I'll just give you some thoughts and personal views that I have. As we come to our topic, let's pray. Oh God, your thoughts are higher than our thoughts as the heavens are above the earth.

That great chasm represents the difference between the way that you think and the way that we think so often. And your ways are that much higher than our ways. And we need not for you to become like us, we need to become like you, and we pray that you would help us. Oh come by your spirit and work among us to raise our thoughts and our ways to be more like yours, less like our own inclinations. We desire to be a submitted people to you, that whatever your word reveals is true, that we embrace it and try to live by it.

Make us such a people in Jesus name. Amen. Okay, major heading number one, review what the Bible says about the rod, beginning with Proverbs, if you're taking notes on the handout and filling in blanks, Bible and Proverbs fill in the two blanks. Review what the Bible says about the rod, not the American Academy of Pediatrics, but The Bible beginning with Proverbs. I'm going to take you to four places in Proverbs.

Number one, Proverbs 13, 24. Open up those Bibles of yours to Proverbs 13, verse 24. Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. So the popular cultural proverb is Spare the rod, spoil the child.

That's not Bible. That's the popular cultural proverb. Spare the rod, spoil the child. But the Bible actually says, spare the rod, hate the child. Wow!

That ups the ante a lot, doesn't it? That raises the stakes a lot. Not only are you spoiling your child, but you hate your child if you spare the rod. He who spares his rod, The whole verse is predicated on a father who has a rod. It's his rod.

And if he spares it, he hates his son, But if he loves his son, he will discipline him promptly. Now first, I want to start here. This verse, this proverb, frames it with a father and a son. And by implication, we would say it's a parent and a child. In other words, this isn't just a male thing, only male adults disciplining only male children, only fathers and sons, but the proper understanding and implication is a parent-child.

Is it right for a mother to discipline a son this way? Of course. Or a daughter this way. Or for a father to discipline a daughter this way? Of course it is.

But it is framed with a father bringing this kind of discipline to bear. And I want to say this to every father who is here, future father who is here, anybody who might hear this on audio, every dad should view himself as the chief disciplinarian in his home. There are too many homes where discipline, the rod or otherwise, is mom's thing. So the Bible contradicts you if you think that way or if you operate that way. Discipline, the rod or otherwise is not mom's thing to the extent that you buy male headship, that the husband is the head of his wife and the head of household, it extends even into child training where a wife will spend more hours, but she will spend more hours as the head of the house's first lieutenant, deputy, the one who is implementing what he's ultimately responsible for.

So fathers, to the extent that you feel disconnected and not responsible for discipline in your home, stop it. Every father is the head disciplinarian of his home. The word rod, the Hebrew word here, Strong's, says that this is literally a stick for punishing in this context. So the rod. In this context, in the context of child training, child discipline, it means a stick for the purpose of punishing.

So if you spare the rod, the NASB renders it, if you withhold, if you hold back from using the rod, it's actually hatred. So the academy, the American Academy of Pediatrics has actually flipped this on its head to say, you hate your kids if you smack them. You hate your kids if you lay a hand on them in any disposition at all. And they make no distinction between a proper biblical application of the rod, done patiently, done judiciously, done in a godly manner with childbeating. To them there is no distinction at all.

And we want to make the distinction and acknowledge that there is an inappropriate, ungodly application of the rod. So Christians don't reject that at all. Christians embrace that there is an ungodly, inappropriate, impatient, angry, abusive application of the rod. To that we can say, amen. But what we don't agree with is that there is no proper, patient, judicious, godly application of it.

We say, oh yes there is. The Bible actually teaches it and calls for it. So if you spare or you withhold the rod, it isn't love. It's not loving to do that. It's a cruel kind of mercy.

Did you know there can be a cruel kind of mercy? Like, oh, I just can't bear to do it, I just want to be merciful, and withhold what they need. And withhold what they need. That's not love, that's not even mercy. You did it out of maybe an impulse of mercy, but it's not merciful.

You're harming the one you say that you love. You're actually being cruel, not merciful. It's a cruel kind of mercy. This verse, this proverb says that if you really love, you will discipline promptly. You will bring the rod to bear promptly.

Now the NASB and the ESV render that word a little differently. Instead of promptly, they render it diligently. And both are fine translations. The reason there's a difference in rendering or translation is because the Hebrew word has two senses. The first being speed of taking action.

So New King James says, okay promptly, speed of taking action. But the second sense is earnestness in the undertaking. So the NASB and the ESV say, oh okay then diligently. And really both of these are true and necessary. So the double sense is actually helpful here.

Discipline promptly, discipline earnestly or diligently. Consider Ecclesiastes 8.11. Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the hearts of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil." Let me read it again. Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, promptly, Therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. In other words, because of the delay in consequences, the heart of man veers off the track to say that consequences are never coming, it doesn't matter what I do, and so it's bent on evil, misinterpreting patience or slowness of discipline as there will never be consequences, and so the patience is easily misinterpreted.

Promptly. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly or diligently, so that the human heart doesn't misread, there'll never be consequences, bending the human heart towards the evil. Okay, so two questions before we leave Proverbs 13-24. Does God view the rod as the last resort? If Proverbs 13-24 was your guiding light, you were setting your patterns off of this, would the rod be the nuclear option only to be exercised at the very end of your patients or for the only the worst worst transgressions?

No, no way. No way. If you're thinking of the rod as the nuclear option, just what you can do. When you can't think of one more thing to do, then do that. You're not imbibing the spirit of what Scripture is teaching.

The second question is, what does God think of counting to three? What does God think of counting to three? I can find the rod in the Bible. I'm going to take you to a bunch of places. I can't find counting to three in the Bible.

So I'm not advocating for impatience or inordinate harshness, but the Bible is calling for prompt discipline. If the great tool in your toolbox is counting to three, your children will never obey before three and three quarters. Two and three quarters. 2 and 3 quarters. 1, 2, 2 and a half, 2 and 3 quarters, 2 and 5 eighths.

Children are smart, They know the game. If you expect them to obey obediently, and that is your pattern, and you require it, they'll obey obediently. If you give them till two and five eighths, they'll obey when you hit 2 and 5 eighths. That's how the game works. Don't make your children play that game.

Love them by Applying the rod. And when people tell you that's not loving, tell them that's flat out wrong and that contradicts what God says in his word. Proverbs number two. Proverbs 22, 15. 22, 15.

Proverbs 22, 15. Follow along as I read it. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far from him. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.

The rod of correction will drive it far from him. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far from him. It's very easy to translate this in our brains too. Somebody has to do something about this silliness.

Foolishness is bound up, those silly kids. Somebody do something about those silly kids. No, that's not what's being communicated in this verse. In Proverbs, foolishness is not silliness, it is moral deficiency. It is bent towards wrong.

And It's not an age problem, those silly kids, somebody do something about those silly kids. It is a human problem that must be dealt with early. There is a window of opportunity to drive out a sense of moral deficiency. And if you miss the window of this thing that's bound up in the heart of a child from their earliest days, then you give an opportunity for Hearts to harden in sin. So this Proverbs, Proverbs 22-15 is trying to hold us back from allowing our children, Children's hearts to harden in sin.

Children come with a certain heart. There's foolishness bound up. There's moral deficiency. There's a bent towards wrong in that heart. No one has to teach them how to lie, be selfish, hit their brother or sister.

Nobody has to teach that. It's bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction drives out that moral deficiency. It doesn't say it saves. It doesn't say it saves.

It doesn't say it saves. It says it drives out moral deficiency. And because it's saying, it bound up in the heart of a child, apply The rod to the child, it's because there is a window of opportunity. And if you miss it, it gets harder and harder because Sin hardens. The more sin goes un-confronted in a life, the more the heart is crusted over with a hardness towards right.

This is about depravity, the fallen human nature that is part and parcel with everyone who comes into this world. If you do not confront that natural selfishness, I'm God, no one tells me what to do, that's bound up in the heart of every child that's ever been born. You're not the boss of me. You're not the boss of me. No one's the boss of me.

I'm the boss of me. And this world is about me. If that's not confronted early, there's a hardening that happens, and good luck trying to do it later. Good luck trying to do it later. Matthew Henry says this, every child of ours is a child of Adam and therefore has that foolishness bound up in its heart which calls for the rod." That's it.

Here's a related Proverbs. Just note this one. Proverbs 19, 18. Proverbs 19, 18. Chasing your son while there is hope and do not set your heart on his destruction.

Again, calling for early confrontation of that radical selfishness and autonomy that every human heart comes with. You were born with it, your spouse was born with it, your friends, your neighbors, your relatives, every human heart has a radical self-centeredness and autonomy in it. And you better get at it early, confront it early. And the Rod was actually one of the things given to parents for the confrontation of this radical self-serving radical self-centeredness radical autonomy in the human heart. Let's just listen to that proverb again.

I'll just read Proverbs 19 and 18 again. Chasing your son while there is hope. There's a window of opportunity. And do not set your heart on his destruction. Just think about that.

God through the Proverb is saying, if you won't confront it Using the means God has given you, it's like you've set your heart on the destruction of your child. What feeling parent would set their heart on the destruction of their child? How could you? God gives authorities to constrain evil. So you can't discipline anyone into the kingdom of God.

That's not possible. But God has given spheres of authority, realms of authority to confront evil and to constrain it so the world isn't running wild after its inclinations. Imagine a world where there are no authorities to constrain evil. Well, God has given three. He's given the civil magistrate and he's given the civil magistrate put a tool in the hand of the civil magistrate for constraining evil.

What is it? The sword. God has given us the church and has put a tool in the hands of this realm, sphere, authority. What is it? It's the keys.

The church can excommunicate or put out. And God has given the family, and it's given the family an instrument, a tool for confronting, constraining evil. And what is it? It is the rod. The civil authority has the sword, the church has the keys, the family has the rod.

By the way, the Hebrew word here, child, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. That word, rendered child, is an infant or youth up to 20 years of age. So I'm not making a case that we should be spanking 20 year olds, but I'm just saying there are word choices that have been made here by the God of the Scriptures and a very narrow word choice that would just restrict this to very young children was avoided in favor of a broader term for a youth even up to 20 years old. Don't think of this as just a little kid thing necessarily. A final consideration.

Earlier in the same chapter, if you're still in Proverbs 22, look at Proverbs 22 verse 6. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Train up a child in the way he should go. Teach your kids the way they should go, and when your children are old they won't depart from it. The use of the rod is part of that picture.

So what you see both in the Old Testament and the New Testament, we'll go into Hebrews 12 in a little bit, when we get there, we'll see both of these concepts. A broad concept of child training that includes teaching, rebuking, being an example of, and also the rod. So broad category including everything you would do to just teach your children good from evil. The rod is just a piece of that. And that's what we're seeing here in the Old Testament too.

A call to train up a child, very broad term and then a subcategory of that is the rod. The third proverb, number three, Proverbs 23 verses 13 and 14. If you're like me you just have to turn one page. Proverbs 23 verses 13 and 14. Follow along as I read that.

Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell." Let me read it again. Do not withhold correction from a child. We've already seen that concept. Don't withhold.

Don't spare the rod or withhold the rod. For if you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod and deliver his soul from hell. The Hebrew word rendered beat in the New King James you know beat is an English word has all sorts of baggage and it doesn't make you recoil from it, It makes me recoil from it. I think the NASB and the ESV have actually helped us with that by rendering it strike.

Strike doesn't have all the baggage. And really There's nothing in the Hebrew word that underlies it that would have you recoiling from it. So I'm happy with the alternate translation that doesn't have all that baggage. This really just has to do with your main area of concern. What do you care about?

Your kids' bodies or their souls? If you have to pick which will you prioritize? The Proverbs 23, 13-14 is saying don't just be concerned with the body. They won't die if you apply the rod. They won't die if you apply the rod.

They might act like it. They won't die if you apply the rod. It will be painful for a very short period of time but you've actually done something for their soul. Better that than to ignore their soul in favor of this cruel mercy of withholding. Don't ignore the souls of your children to put forth this cruel kind of mercy that says, no, no, no, this should never experience any pain of any kind.

That's not loving parenting. Our main concern is the eternal condition of our children's soul. Can you save children through spanking? Only God can save anyone, but God works through means. It's as futile to say, because my preaching of the gospel doesn't save, still the Spirit has to save them, then I shouldn't preach the gospel to my children.

Just because there are no magic words that can sweep your children into heaven then just don't say words. No, no, no, no. God works through our speaking the truths of the Gospel and as he is pleased to do it, he brings his Spirit to bring those things to life. Well here is another thing that has to do with our influence on our children. God working through the means that he has given us in his words, do good to the souls of our children.

You can't just excuse yourself to say because God is sovereign that means it doesn't matter what I do. That is a recipe for disaster in your parenting. It does matter what you do. God has given us these things that he wants to bring to bear, often for redemptive purposes in our children's lives. Listen to Matthew Henry again.

I love this one, by the way. Because I think he just nails what the right application of the rod looks like. So listen to this. When it is given with wisdom, designed for good, accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a happy means of preventing His utter destruction and delivering His soul from hell. Our great care must be about our children's souls.

But I don't like to spank. Right! I know! And actually, in a way, That's a good impulse, but don't let that carry the day. Let what God has said carry the day.

Our great care must be not about our own inclinations or likes or dislikes, but our great care must be about our children's souls. You don't know better than God. God knows better than all of us. He's telling us what to do in order to be a blessing to our children and not to apply cruel mercies. Cruel mercies to them.

I'll read Matthew and read just one more time here. When it is given with wisdom, the application of the rod should be applied with wisdom. Designed for good, the application of the rod, The design of it should be for the good of our children, accompanied with prayer. This isn't just a godless, mechanical, sterile, check this box kind of thing, but we want it to be done under God and blessed of God, then it may prove a happy means of preventing the utter destruction of our children. Okay, Proverb number four.

Proverbs 29 verse 15. Follow along. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Let me read it again. The rod and rebuke give wisdom but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

In this verse two things are joined together. The rod and Rebuke. Not the rod alone without rebuke, not rebuke alone without the rod, but the rod and rebuke gives wisdom, imparts wisdom. Not the rod Neglecting rebuke like just spank and move on never say it never say a word no verbal correction just the rod That's a mistake not not rebuke Neglecting the rod talk talk talk, but no action. No, that's a mistake the rod and rebuke This addresses the the hands off just let them bloom Oh, just let the little darling bloom all in good time.

They'll stop doing those things. No, that's not true. Try that with gardening. Do we have any gardeners? Oh, just let it bloom.

Just plant some seeds and then just see what happens over time. Don't weed, don't water, don't... That's a great way to grow weeds. That's a great way to grow weeds. And so it is with parenting.

Parenting is a lot like gardening in many ways. The just let the little darling bloom. You're going to end up with a monster. You are growing monsters. You're growing weeds to do that.

And you'll end up shaming the parents. And it actually says the output is an ashamed mother. Why mother? So I'm talking about father being the, dad being the chief disciplinarian. So why is the mother called out here?

The text doesn't say, but let me speculate. Mom spends most of her time, a disproportionate amount of her time relative to dad. And moms are different than dads. Has anybody noticed that? Moms are different than dads.

Who wishes to be raised in a home with two dads? Not for a day in my life. Not for a day in my life would I want to be raised in a home just with two dads, no motherly influence. Now who would want to be raised in a home with two moms? No fatherly influence, just motherly influence.

Often mothers, because of their feminine design, feminine creation by God, mothers are often inclined to mercy. Sometimes to a fault. I think there is actually a warning here to mothers who are given feminine motherly dispositions, often inclined to mercy. Praise God that that influence is in a home. I'm not discrediting that.

I'm just saying you can't honor that. You can't honor that. We have to honor the word of God. You can't inordinately honor that. We should praise God for that influence in the home.

But moms, you have to know that you might be inclined to too much mercy, Too much withholding of the rod. And if that's the case, the end point for you, says this proverb, is your child shaming you because you would not bring discipline into their life because you were so inclined towards mercy. The alternative is actually given two verses later. So I was just in Proverbs 29.15 talking about a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. So by the way, that's what's going to happen.

If you Just leave your children to their inclinations. Prepare for shame. But two verses later is sort of the counterpoint to that. Look at Proverbs 29, 17. Correct your son, and He will give you rest.

Yes, He will give delight to your soul. It's sort of painting a future state. Just leave them alone to their inclinations. Never confront their radical selfishness and autonomy. Just let the little darling bloom.

Shame is in your future. But, to the extent that you bring godly discipline and godly correction, what's in your future? Delight for your soul, your children will give you rest. Amen. If you only believe one thing about this sermon, just believe, just trust God.

Trust God. God knows what He's doing. God knows how He made us. God knows how we respond to this versus that. Just trust God.

Whatever His Word says, Whatever his word says, do that. It's the best endpoint for us. Okay, major heading number two, and I have to speed up, But not too bad. Major heading number two, put the rod within a theological framework. So if you're filling in blanks, framework fills in the blank.

Put the rod, this instrument, a tool that God has given us to bring discipline into the lives of our children so that we are confronting the radical self-centeredness and autonomy. No one's the boss of me that is in every human heart. Let's put that within a theological framework. By a theological framework I mean God-centered as opposed to man-centered. The rod can have a very man-centered framework.

My children don't fly right. They don't sit up straight. And it makes me mad and this gives me something to do about it. That's man centered. I'm irked at the behavior of my children and I have something to do about it.

That's a totally man centered framework. If that's the framework, that's simply behavior modification. They do these things that irk me or that embarrass me and so I'm going to modify their behavior. But Galatians 3 teaches us that the law is a tutor not to make us righteous or self-righteous, but to bring us to Christ. So it is good for bad behavior to be modified.

I think we want to modify bad behavior. But that can't be the endpoint. If that's the endpoint, then we're man-centered. The purpose of the law, yes, it is to constrain evil, be the ultimate objective of all of our child discipline. The rod and teaching and living in an example should be more than just, let's get them to fly right.

Let's get them to sit up straight, be good US citizens. We want that, but heaven forbid that it should stop there, and that's all that could be said of our children. We want children that love the Lord, that know that he's died for sinners, and go to him for mercy. That's the ultimate objective of all of these things. Malachi 2 tells us why God brings a man together with a woman into marriage.

Why does he do that? He desires godly offspring. And The rod is one of the things related to our playing our role in that. So single guy, single gal, God brings them together. Why is he doing that?

Well, one of the reasons is godly offspring. A foremost reason is godly offspring. And we have a role to play in that. So turn with me to Hebrews 12. We started here, we'll end here.

Hebrews 12, I'm going to reread 5 through 11. The sermon text was a little longer on both ends than that. I'm going to just contain myself to 5 through 11. The context for this is the author of Hebrews addressing people who might be weary and discouraged in their souls. Does life ever bring anything that will cause you to be weary and discouraged in your souls?

Yes, lots of things. One of those things might actually be God's disciplining of you. Okay, Hebrews 12, a word to people who are weary and discouraged in their souls beginning in verse 5. And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons. It's a word to sons.

My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him, for whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons. For what son is there, whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect.

Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of Spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but he for our profit, that we may be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present but painful. Nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Let me begin here at the end.

Is there anyone who hears that? The peaceable fruit of righteousness. Just the peace of being at liberty to do what's right without being dominated by this self-centeredness and radical autonomy. It just makes me exhale a deep breath, like the peaceable fruit of righteousness. I'm not enslaved to this radical autonomy and self-centeredness in my heart, but I'm actually free to just do what's right out of honoring the Lord and a desire to honor Him.

That's really the objective. Bringing the things to bear that set us free from slavery to this radical self-centeredness and autonomy. Here's the logic. I'm not going to spend a lot of time here. It's occurring to me how much I'm leaving on the table as I read through this.

Here's the main point. Earthly, fathers and mothers, chasten and scourge, these are the two words used here. It's rendered chasten in New King James. I don't love it. I like the rendering.

I actually have the ESV better. The training. Riley's smiling. He loves his ESV. Stop smiling Riley.

This is the same word that's been rendered chasten in Hebrews 12. It is the same word from Ephesians 6 verse 4, bring up your children in the training and admonition of the Lord. It's the same Greek word. I like the ESV rendering here. Don't despise the training of the Lord.

It really is just a broad term for the training that a parent does with a child. So it's not just discipline, it's teaching, encouraging, being an example of the whole range is in this word, not just kind of punishment type things. Training is probably a better rendering of that word. But it's not just one word. It's chastening, this broad term of training, better yet, training.

Then there's the second word, scourge. That's narrow, and it has to do with the rod. And Hebrews 12 says, God does it. God does it. So the grand argument here as it relates to child training is that human parents train and scourge, train and apply the rod, because God does.

It's just a reflection of God's parenting. And we should approximate what He does. No one would doubt God's right to scourge us. Sometimes we need it. Sometimes we won't move an inch, a millimeter, without God bringing dire things to bear.

And so in His wisdom He uses it. So Next week we're coming back to this. I'm going to preach the first sermon of my life on homeschooling. Can you believe that? I've never preached a sermon on homeschooling.

So we're going to come back and actually broaden out from just this really narrow topic, and broaden out and talk about homeschooling next week. And then to Ephesians. I can't wait for Ephesians. I have a stack of books this high, literally, on Ephesians, and I can't wait to start reading them. I'm starting reading them this week.

Okay, I'm gonna move on for the sake of time. God disciplines with perfection, and part of that is scourging his sons. And we shouldn't be despised by us, because he's dealing with us as with sons. Major heading number three, provide some practical thoughts on the application of the rod. So if you're filling in blanks, application fills in the blanks.

Provide some practical thoughts on the application of the rod. Meaning, when we get right down to it, how does it work? What are the major considerations? I'll give you nine. Number one, anger must not be the centerpiece of your use of the rod.

You might not be happy when you use it, but it cannot be the driving force behind the application of the rod. Ephesians 4.26, be angry and do not sin. You might be angry when you use the rod, but you can't use the rod because you're angry. Do you understand? I think if you wait until there's no anger at all until you use the rod, you might never use it.

But just don't let it be the thing that is driving you. I preached this sermon a number of years ago. Gary Orr was present and he gave me a nickname. Instead of Jason, Chasen, Chasen the Happy Spanker. Why have I been dubbed Chasen the Happy Spanker?

Because what I've said many times is, I don't want my kids, when I apply the rod, to think I'm doing it because I'm mad. I want them to understand that I'm doing it because I'm on duty. Because I'm a dad, and Part of my role as a dad is to confront the radical self-centeredness and autonomy that comes out in their behavior. And I'm on the clock. I'm on the clock.

I'm not applying the rod because I'm mad, though I might be mad. I'm applying the rod because God in heaven made me your dad and gave me certain duties to carry out. And I have no way to wiggle out of that. And so I don't want to do that with an angry disposition, as much as I want to be the happy spanker. Now, don't mistake, when this guy applies the rod, It's an intense experience for all involved.

I mean the eyes flash, and they might have thought I was angry in some of those times. I did it with intensity, and I wanted it to have its effect. I wanted it to have its effect. But I didn't want to go into it acting all angry, come out of it acting all angry. I wanted to sort of have a cheerful disposition overall that let them know it's not because I'm mad, It's because God has given you a dad to constrain evil in your life.

And I'm just doing my job. Number one, anger must not be the centerpiece of your use of the rod. You're just doing your job. God put you there to do that job. And there's no way for you to wiggle out of doing that job.

So have a cheerful disposition about it as much as you're able. Number two, the rod is just one slice of the instruction and correction pie. So just think about training this broad term that encompasses rebuke, encouragement, the rod, example, whatever you can think, everything that you can bring to bear to teach your children what's good, the things that are good and not good, and there are so many of them, this is just one slice of that pie. If you make the rod, the whole pie, you're lost. You're lost.

I mean, It's got to be a narrow slice of this pie. It's an important part. It can't be a neglected part. But it's just one slice of the instruction and correction pie. And it has to be balanced with affection.

One of the things I love about Red Bradley, what he says in Child Training Tips, is that if you're in one of these periods of time where you're having to apply the rod more to win the victory and get on top of behavior that's not acceptable in your home, then you have to be more affectionate. You have to extend bed snuggling at bedtime prayer time. If you're having to double down on the rod, you have to double down on affection at the same time, so that you're not communicating the wrong thing. You have to bring as much affection to bear as you're bringing the other. Amen to that.

And there are periods of time where you have to apply the rod more to make sure you win the victory there and that you're getting on top of the things that are unacceptable in your home, but when you're in that season you have to ramp up the other side of the equation too. Amen. Number three. Honoring parents is one of the Ten Commandments. Think about that.

There's only ten commandments and honoring parents is one of them. It's the Fifth Commandment. And it's a parent's job to secure that honor. So, we know what we think about human nature in its natural state. The Bible doesn't speak kindly of human nature in its natural state.

So Is the human heart of your child inclined towards obeying any one of the Ten Commandments? The answer is no. So it's a parent's job to help secure obedience to these Ten Commandments. And one of them is the commandment to honor you. You have to secure it.

You can't just say, well, you have to honor me because of this commandment. We take action to secure obedience to the other commandments and this one too. You should view it as part of your job as a parent to secure honor for you. Meaning dishonor, you can't accept it. You don't accept it.

Parents, It's a parent's job to secure honor. Number four. Use the rod for the three disses. This was taught to the domes by a wonderful set of Christian parents, Edgar and Zena Wheeler, if you must know the name. Neither one of them is alive now.

But they had pastored for 40 years and raised 11 children. And they were a wonderful asset to us early in our parenting lives. And they said, we always use the rod for the three disses. Dishonesty, disobedience, disrespect. Now there may be something, but almost everything that we have applied the rod for fits into one of those categories.

Dishonesty. If you lie in the dome house, it's big trouble. Dishonesty. Lying was a big one at the dome house. Disobedience.

Disrespect. It is helpful to have these filters that help us think before the critical time where you're deciding, should I apply the rod here or should I do something else or nothing, to have some guiding principles. This for us was a great guiding principle. Use the rod for the three disses. Dishonesty, disobedience, disrespect.

Number five. Be careful of concluding it's not working. Change that. So I want you to put a comma, or not even a comma, add a word. I want you to add a word.

It's not working Yet. It's okay to say that. It's not okay to say the first one. It's not working by itself. And yet.

You'll be telling yourself, I trust the Word of God. I trust the Word of God. It might not yield what you hope it yields, yield what you're looking for immediately, or it might actually yield what you're looking for very slowly, very what seems like grudgingly, but just know that what God has said will work, will work in time. And keep at it. It's not working.

It's not working yet. Parents who have the experience that I tried it and it just didn't work, probably weren't consistent and they didn't stick with it long enough to have it bear fruit. So if that's been your experience, it didn't work. Go back, be consistent, and be patient, and it'll yield fruit. Number six, if you say you're going to spank, then spank.

Or at least explain that you're purposefully giving grace. Is there no place for grace in child discipline? Well if we're supposed to discipline Like God disciplines, is there no place for grace in the Christian life? Help us if that's true. Of course, there is a big space for patience, mercy, grace, but just don't let that be all of the equation.

And if you say you're going to do it, you should do it. It's conditioning children to do exactly the wrong thing and to frustrate you to say you're going to do it and then not do it. Don't condition your children like that. If you say you're going to spank, then spank. Which means you should be judicious about when you say you're going to spank.

In other words, no idle threats. No idle threats. If you say it, mean it. If you don't mean it, don't say it. Number eight.

Number seven. Make clear lines, then enforce them with consistency. A lot of our problem comes with we just weren't clear. And then we're mad but we're not sure we have a right to be mad and if you're put in the loop of trying to sort all that out. Make clear lines, then enforce them with consistency.

Here's an example. Have you ever been trapped in the escalation of sibling arguments? Brothers and sisters getting snippy, more snippy, more frequent. But you weren't there and you don't know how it all started. He says it was her and she says it was him.

You have no way to untangle this Gordian knot. Okay, so do this. Have your rule, your very clear rule be, ask your sibling nicely, then come find me. So that's the policy. It's clear, ask your sibling nicely, and then come find me.

What does that mean? That means when you're in the other room and you hear the escalation of snippiness happening, that both of them have violated your clear instructions. So it's not a Gordian knot. You don't have to know who started it. All you know is that both of them are in violation to ask their sibling nicely and then come find you.

You heard the escalation happening, then you can spank them both. With a clear conscience and not having to get to the bottom of it. Make clear lines, then enforce them with consistency. Number eight. Wow, we could spend more time on that one.

Number eight. How blank is too blank? How blank is too blank? How many is too many? How few is too few?

How soft is too soft? How hard is too hard? How young is too young? How old is too old. Okay, the text doesn't say.

The text doesn't say. You have to get the heart of scripture and then figure out how to apply this. I'm going to give you some personal opinions on what the text says. Ground that in scripture. I just told you I can't.

I don't have a chapter or verse for these things. I'm going to give you my sensibilities about them, and you can discard them all if you like. For me, the number was between 5 and 10. If I was going to spank, I wasn't stopping short of 5. Not children.

Strikes. If you're going to make me spank, I'm not doing it for three. Ten was the absolute outside. It's the absolute outside. I don't think any of my children has got one more strike than ten in a single spanking.

Those are my sensibilities. I don't want to humiliate my children, but I want them to feel the intensity of the moment, that we are not messing around, that this is serious stuff. I don't know why you would spank softly. If it's not to bring pain, then use something else. Use another tool in your toolbox.

I can probably make some exceptions to that rule, but for me that's the rule. If I'm not to bring a level of discomfort, I don't even know what we're doing. A lot more could be said on that too. Number nine. This, I think, number nine brings it all to fruition.

To me, this is sort of the punch line. By spanking consistently, and As often as needed, you create a family culture where it is rarely needed. This is the punch line to me. By spanking consistently, And as often as needed, you create a family culture where it is rarely needed. I've never said the words in my house, we're done with spanking.

I'm afraid to say those words. But I haven't given a spanking in a long time. I don't remember when the last time I've given a spanking. I have older kids. In July of 2013, there was a History of America conference, and a really knowledgeable guy about the Puritans, Paul Jaylee, said this.

The Pilgrim Church was a holy commonwealth. We're talking about Plymouth plantation. The Pilgrim Church was a holy commonwealth. They trained their children by voice obedience, in a soft voice on the first command. Parents were put in stocks if children disobeyed in public.

You would have to build stocks at Lowe's Home Improvements that spanned the parking lot. Listen to those three things again. They trained their children by voice obedience. In other words, I don't have to strike you, I just have to tell you. The expectation is, I don't have to strike you, heard you, bully you.

I say it, and then the expectation is that you obey without delay. In a soft voice, Don't train your children only to delay their obedience until you have to raise your voice. And on the first command. Slow obedience is disobedience. Delayed obedience is disobedience.

Make that a mantra in your house. If your children are really slow to obey you, they're just disobeying you. That's just rebellion that should be confronted. That's radical autonomy that should be confronted. Now, you can only do that, you can only train your children by voice obedience and a soft voice on the first command if you are consistent and you apply the rod when it needs to be applied.

That's the only way. You come into an out-of-control home and then just try doing that. Okay, I'm only going to talk to them, only in a hushed voice, and I'm gonna expect them to obey on the first time. Like you've lost your mind. You can only do that in a home where the rod has been applied wisely.

Okay, long sermon, sorry. I'll close with asking you to ask this question of yourself, am I using the rod in a way that's consistent with Scripture? Am I using the rod in a way that's consistent with Scripture? Not our culture's sensibilities. If you're using it according to our culture sensibilities, you'll never use it at all.

God, thank you for these children that you've placed in our homes, and I pray in many different ways, not just this little narrow category, but the many different ways that you would teach us to be more and more faithful to them as their parents over time, so that they might know you. I will let them know you. In Jesus' name, amen.