The sermon by Matthew Holst discusses the doctrine of the family as presented in the book of Proverbs. It underscores the familial connections between believers and God, contrasting it with the connections to Satan's family. Proverbs is highlighted as a source of wisdom and instruction for families, emphasizing its principles rather than guarantees. The sermon explains the roles of parents, children, husbands, and wives within the family unit, focusing on generational Christianity and the importance of teaching and discipline. The speaker warns against misunderstanding Proverbs as absolute promises and stresses the need for parental guidance in righteousness. Additionally, the sermon addresses the dangers of adultery and the importance of sexual purity, particularly for husbands. The speaker calls for adherence to God's teachings and highlights the significance of wisdom, which is ultimately found in Jesus Christ.

So Scott, you've asked a Presbyterian to talk to you on the doctrine of the family. I hope you don't live to regret it. Or perhaps I'll live to regret it. That's right, get the alarm going. All right, very good.

One thing you might notice, and this will happen again in this short time, I hope you notice that the same passages from Proverbs keep coming up in almost every short sermon that's been given. There are certain passages in Proverbs which speak to us in a most clear and profound way about all the matters we've been dealing with, and throughout each of the talks a lot of the same passages have come up. It's going to happen again today. I'm going to talk to you about the family in Proverbs, and the family concept is very rich in Scripture, positively and negatively. We even see that Satan has a family.

Did not our Lord say to the Pharisees, because of their lies, He said, you are of your father the devil? There is a familial connection between Satan and those who walk in his paths, just as there is a familial connection, a family connection between those who are adopted into the family of God and walk in his paths. We see Satan's family all the way from Cain to the end of Revelation chapter 20, the day of judgment, and likewise we see the family of God throughout all of Scripture from Genesis culminating in the new heavens and the new earth with the household and family of God. The covenant family, whether you're a Presbyterian or a Baptist, I don't think it really matters, even though we might have slightly different views on some aspects of covenant theology, it really matters not. The fact you have this conference every year shows your own commitment to the raising of what I would call covenant seed, the children that God has given to us.

That's a very prominent factor in the book of Proverbs. The very first chapter, the Proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel, the son of David. As we heard from Scott yesterday, David passed on to Solomon. Now Solomon is passing on to his own children the ways of wisdom and the ways of righteousness. It speaks then of a father speaking to his sons, but Proverbs as we see also speaks of a mother teaching and instructing her children.

It speaks of children hearing and receiving the paths of righteousness from the generation that has gone before them. That's why we talk about generational Christianity. So very important. Fathers, let it be your prayer that your sons and daughters will outstrip you in their holiness and devotion to the Lord, and you have an essential part to play in that as we've just heard. But it doesn't just speak of parents and children, it speaks of husbands.

It speaks of godly husbands and ungodly husbands, and it speaks of godly wives and excellent wives and those that are not quite so excellent. If you want a family document in all of scripture, look at Proverbs. Make no mistake, look at Proverbs. And when we speak of a family, We're not just talking about the earthly family. Proverbs is a covenant document from a covenant God to His covenant people, His sons and daughters adopted.

That is to say, God instructs us as our heavenly Father. Yes as our Lord, yes as our King, but as father to his sons. I mentioned yesterday the my son passages of Proverbs, Proverbs 1, 8, hear my son your father's instruction. Young men, that's your earthly fathers. But above that, it's your heavenly fathers.

And God forbid that your heavenly father and your earthly father should conflict in the instruction they give you. If they do, you listen to your heavenly Father, not your earthly Father. God instructs His sons, but do we not also see a familial connection here? Our Lord Jesus Christ was a true man, took to himself a true body and a reasonable soul in his incarnation. And so as we read this we can think of our Lord as a young man, maybe your age young man, maybe your age, reading the Proverbs and thinking this is my Father in heaven instructing me in the way of righteousness.

Baby, turn around please. Thank you. Good boy. He's my son by the way. I'm instructing you.

Good boy. So we're being instructed as a family, a family of God, family in a household unit together. Proverbs then speaks to the whole family. And let's be clear, I hope each one of us here today places the utmost importance on corporate worship. That corporate worship, in my understanding in scripture, is the highest form of worship, the gathering of God's saints together every Lord's Day to worship Him and praise Him and receive goodness from Him.

But make no mistake, more worship ought to be going on in your families than you will ever do in corporate worship. Six days shall you worship in your families and on the seventh you shall worship the Lord your God." So far more instruction ought to be going on from you fathers and mothers in your families than perhaps will ever go on in the gathered assembly of God's people. That's not to say that makes corporate worship any less important. Corporate worship is God's ordained servant speaking his word in a way perhaps it can never be said elsewhere but more instruction will go on in the family, both from fathers and from mothers than you will ever get from your pastor. That said, how does Proverbs speak to the whole family?

I want you to know that Proverbs speaks to us by way of principle. By way of principle. You can get into a lot of trouble if you don't understand that Proverbs speaks of principle, not cast iron guarantees. They are principles which are generally observable in our life and will ultimately come to pass in eternity. So take for example Proverbs 22 verse 6.

Many parents have got horribly beaten up over this verse. Because many pastors have horribly beaten them up over this verse. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from them. I'm not one of those Presbyterians. I think this could be a Presbyterian problem, that says this is a cast iron guarantee that if you as a father are faithful, at least relatively so, in the raising of your children, then they will come to faith.

Why am I not one of those Presbyterians? Because Proverbs 5 tells me so. Look back at Proverbs 5 for one moment. And this tells us the nature of Proverbs. OK, train up a child in the way he should go.

And when he is old, he will not depart. It's a general principle, not an absolute guarantee. Because Proverbs 5 is one of those my son sermons to a child which says, my son be attentive to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding that you may keep discretion, that it may keep you from the forbidden woman, the immoral woman in this life, and the world as it's pictured in the immoral woman. Verse 7, now sons, listen to me. Do not depart from the words of my mouth.

Keep your way far from her. Do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless. Lest strangers take their fill of your strength and your labors go to the house of the foreigner. So all the results of immorality in a life of worldliness, you lose everything. Verse 11, and at the end of your life you groan when your flesh and body are consumed and you say how I hated discipline And my heart despised for proof, I did not listen to the voice of my teachers.

Or incline my ear to your instruction. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. What do we have in Proverbs 5? We have a father who faithfully raised his son and his son turned his back on that teaching. It's possible that you can raise your son faithfully, relatively so, not perfectly, and your son will turn their back upon your teaching sons.

Listen to me, young men, let me have your attention. Did you hear what we just said? It is possible for your parents to raise you right in the way of the Lord and for you to turn your back upon it. You must own what your parents teach you. You young men must know Christ as Lord and Savior.

Being raised in a Christian home is not good enough. That will not see you into heaven. It will not see your sins washed away. You must own Christ, each one of you. That's why we understand Proverbs to be general principles, generally observable, broad principles by which we live our lives.

God's decree of election is free, not based on your faithfulness as a father. He might save the child who was raised unfaithfully, and the one who was faithful in his raising might lose his child. Let's keep that in mind as we come to Proverbs, because we dare not misapply Proverbs to us, especially in this area, and say, my child has turned out a wretch. I did such a terrible job. Well, each one of you fathers knows that that's your confession anyway, That you've done such a terrible job of raising your children, as I have, and that the record of our parenthood should be torn to shreds.

But that doesn't mean that our parenthood is irrelevant. It doesn't mean that our parenthood is independent of God's ways of working because He has chosen to work through families. So by principle, Proverbs speaks to us in this way. First of all, Proverbs, when God says in Proverbs, my son, listen to my commandments, He says it to children and fathers alike. Our Lord Jesus Christ in Mark chapter 10 and verse 15 says this, truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.

If you cannot come to Christ with childlike qualities of utter reliance upon him, which Proverbs says to you every time it says, My son, then you will enter the kingdom of heaven. It struck me as Mike was speaking yesterday, the opposite of the fear of the Lord is pride. I've preached through Proverbs and I didn't quite make that connection. Staggering, isn't it? Pride is The opposite of the fear of the Lord is pride.

I've preached through Proverbs, and I didn't quite make that connection. Staggering, isn't it? Pride is the opposite of the fear of the Lord. You must come as little children to the Proverbs. Every Proverb, therefore, speaks to every one of us, whether we are fathers, grandfathers or sons, particularly in the training of our children.

And those Commands will come to you directly, explicitly or implicitly. We see here in Proverbs 1, 8, hear my son your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching. That's an implicit command, Fathers, that you are to teach your sons. And you can teach them many things, as we heard just a moment ago. But if this is not what you're teaching them, then you have failed.

Then we have failed. We are to teach the next generation. I'm going to say this carefully knowing the setting, Proverbs places a covenantal obligation upon each one of us here today to raise up the next generation in the fear and admonition of the Lord, to discipline, to nurture, to train, to disciple, to teach, to inculcate in our children. Fathers, do you love your children? Then train and disciple them.

Proverbs 13.24, whoever spares the rod, listen, hates his son. But he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. And discipline is not about getting a spoon on the backside. I mean it is, but it's far greater concept of that in Proverbs. It's the whole training in the paths of righteousness.

Young men, I'm assuming your dad, or whoever it spanks you at times, you get in trouble, you disobeyed, and I don't know what you get, it's a wooden spoon in my house if they're particularly bad. And I have discussions with some of my boys about the profitability of discipline. They get quite heated discussions. It doesn't work, Dad. God says, done in the right way, it does.

And if you withhold that discipline and training from them, you hate your children. Think what the world says to you about discipline. Understand it, then put it in a box and throw it in the trash. Because Scripture says, if you love your son, you are diligent to discipline him, which also means something for you sons. I'm past the age now where I can get a spank from my dad.

But you're not. What do you think when your dad disciplines you? What do you think when he comes to you and says, my son, you've sinned and there are consequences to that sin and I'm doing this because I love you and you must not hate or despise the chastening of the Lord. Proverbs says so. You must not hate it.

You must see it as a mechanism, a way that God is showing you. Look, the spank on the hand or on the backside, whatever you get, the grounding, whatever it might be. It's just a brief, small taste of the troubles that are to come in your life, and the life to come in hell if you despise the chastening of your parents. Dads, how do we discipline? Well, I'm not going to repeat what was just said so well by our brother Paul, but Proverbs 4.23 and 24.

How do we discipline well? How do we do this? We read this, keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life. You must be keeping your heart before you can keep the hearts of others. How do you keep your heart?

Proverbs 424. The next verse is put away from you crooked speech. Watch what you say. Verse 25, your eyes, let your eyes look directly forward and your gaze be straight before you. Take heed at what you look at, fathers.

Verse 26, ponder the path of your feet, then all your ways will be sure. Watch your mouth, watch your eyes, watch your hands, and watch your feet. That is keeping your heart. In other words, keep the law of God. All these things, your reflections of the commandments of God, the ninth commandment, the seventh commandment, the whole of God's law.

Wisdom is not gonna give you a successful life, as so many commentators suggest. It's going to make you a law keeper. It's going to make you a law, as much as it's humanly possible, it'll make you a law lover. That means it'll make you Christ-like. Then you can lead your family.

As was said, when you have watched your heart, then you are competent by the Spirit of God to Watch the heart of others. Watch your heart. Guard it with all vigilance. But Proverbs speaks to mothers and to wives. They're not here today, But mothers and wives are highly esteemed in Proverbs.

Highly esteemed. We're told they are keepers of the home. Most of our dads go out to work each day, don't they? Maybe they work in a church, or maybe they work elsewhere. And they go out to work.

And who is left caring for and running the home? The home, friends, is a small business. It's a colossal undertaking. Young men, you have no idea what your mums do, and probably some of us husbands don't, what our wives do to run the home. You have no idea the planning, the cooking, the care of the home in all its different ways, often caring for some of the finances, dealing with matters that are unseen.

And it is your mothers, mainly young men, it is your mothers who are at home during the day who take principal care for your education and training in righteousness, especially if you're home-schooled. Who is it? It's your mother who's doing this for you. Your dad's got to go out and earn some money. I'm not saying that's true for everyone here, but generally that's the way things work.

Your dad leaves the home for X number of hours a day and it is your mother who is in charge. She becomes a prophet bringing the word of God to you. She becomes a priest interceding to God on your behalf. She becomes a king of sorts, ruling and defending you, just like your father is when he is at home and overall prophet, priest, and king. Listen in proverbs of a mother's love to her children.

When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother. Young men, look at me please. Your mother's love for you is tender. You're the apple of her eye. She delights in you in a way you cannot imagine.

And she is your teacher. Chapter 6 verse 20, My son, keep your father's commandments, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Forsake not your mother's teaching. Chapter 31 and verse 1, the words of King Lemuel, an oracle not that his father taught him but that his mother taught him. His mother taught him the words of that oracle.

Your mother is your teacher. It speaks of wives. Chapter 31, more precious than jewels. A good wife, Young men, as you grow up, you're looking for a good wife. More precious than jewels, Proverbs 31 tells us that the wife in the family, the husband's heart trusts her.

She's diligent in the care of the home. She's a businesswoman. She's buying fields. She's selling linen and sashes that she has made for the good of the home. She opens her mouth and wisdom comes out and her tongue is a teaching of kindness.

Her tongue teaches you kindness. Husbands, what do you think of your wives? Sons, what do you think of your mothers? Husbands, you're told in Proverbs to delight in your wife, to delight in her body, to delight in her soul, to give yourself to her and no one else. Sons, really important for you, because this is your natural tendency, not only against your father but principally against your mother, is to assert yourself as young men.

To say, I'm a man, I'm turning into a man, and I will assert my own authority. Not that you have any authority in the home, but you think you do, your tendency will be to despise your mother because she's kind and gentle and lowly and contrite. Don't despise your mother. Scripture has great words about this. Proverbs 20, 20, if one curses his mother or his father, listen young men, boys, listen, if you curse your father or your mother, your lamp will be put out in utter darkness.

That's your life, snuffed out by God. Proverbs 30 and verse 17 says something similar. The eye that mocks the father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures. That's a picture of utter ruin, your body being pulled apart by wild animals. It's not literally going to happen in that way.

It's a picture of the destruction that will come upon you if you despise your mothers. You see, young men, you're going to turn into older men. You're going to become heads of households and you're going to have authority as we heard yesterday, great authority, but you don't have it yet. And your mother as much as your father is still your ruler, still over you. And Now it's your turn to learn from her those most precious graces that young men often learn better from their mothers than they learn from their fathers.

Meekness, gentleness, kindness, self-control. God has given you a mother so that you can become a godly man. Don't think that being a godly man is about shouting the loudest, bullying your way through life. I've had men in my church like this. They think if they shout the loudest, they bully their way, they'll be pictures of great biblical manhood.

Blessed are the meek, said our Lord. You give me a meek, gentle, kind man. I'll take one of them over ten of the loudmouth bully any day of the week. You young men, you want nothing to do with that kind of man who stamps his foot or bangs his fist and says, I will do it this way. That's not what you're to be.

Not any of us in your churches, whether you're a pastor or a con, it matters not. That is not a picture of biblical manhood. You want a picture of biblical manhood? Turn straight to Matthew 5 and look at the Beatitudes. Poverty of spirit.

Mourning over your sin. Meekness. And so on. Young men, hear me on this, please. Don't become brutes.

As men, as dads, we can often behave like brutes, because that's kind of in our DNA. We are fist thumpers. But that's not the way Christ did it, and that's not the way you ought to be. I think I've run out of time, haven't I? Let me finish up very quickly.

Proverbs speaks to husbands as well as to parents and children. This is the predominant message of the first nine chapters of Proverbs. The first nine chapters of Proverbs, what's the most common theme in the first nine chapters? Anyone know? The most common theme in the first nine chapters of Proverbs?

Anyone? Say it. Who said adultery? Did you hear your dad say it? Good, you listened to your father, well done.

Adultery is the most amount of space in the first nine chapters. Five times there are sections on adultery. Why? Because it recognizes the male's propensity to sensuous thinking and lust. And it also recognizes the vital importance of the family in God's plan.

That's why Proverbs speaks to it so much. It recognizes our propensity to lustful behavior and the consequent danger that poses to the family unit in the church. Because we give into the one, we destroy the other. Husbands, take great care over your soul. Young men, as you're growing up, Don't look at the world and the women of this world.

Pursue paths of righteousness. Disaster follows those who commit adultery. Make no mistake, It's not the unpardonable sin. There is a way back to God after adultery and any sexual sin. But it must come through repentance and faith in Christ.

But there are great warnings for those who engage in this. Listen, Proverbs 7 verse 21. Proverbs 7, verse 21, with much seductive speech she, that's the adulterous woman persuades him, with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver. As a bird rushes into a snare, he does not know it will cost him his life.

If you're struggling in this area now, I say again, get help today. That means, Fathers, you need to train yourself in sexual purity, in marriage, in family life and you need to train your families in the same. And it speaks also to children, the last of our short sections today. Proverbs speaks to children. What does Proverbs say to you children above all else?

What does it say to you? I can't hear you. Shout it out. The one thing that it says to you above all else seventy times it says it, listen. That wasn't a child's voice.

Listen. Listen and hear. Follow the paths of righteousness. Follow the way prescribed to you by God. The world will say to you, no, do it your way.

You can have all the blessings of life that you want, all the satisfaction, and you can have it without the rules, without the law of God. That's what Satan said in the garden. Have it your way, not God's way. But that way is the way of death. It's so hard for young men to listen.

Because you're going to be an authority figure one day, and God has made you for that, but to become a righteous authority figure, you now need to listen, and you need to receive discipline. Please hear this. You need to receive discipline. My son, Proverbs 3.11, do not despise the Lord's discipline, or be weary of His reproof, for the Lord reproves Him whom He loves as a Father, the Son in whom he delights. And if you won't listen, you will bring yourself to ruin.

Proverbs 5 11, at the end of your life you groan when your flesh and body are consumed and you say, How I, this is a child grown up, how I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof, I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. Proverbs speaks to the family, every one of us, our mutual duties towards each other. And it also speaks, and this is the challenge of anyone preaching Proverbs. I'm not sure we've reached it this weekend either. The challenge of preaching Proverbs is to preach the blessings and the promises of goodness that will come to you.

Dear friends, listen carefully as I finish. The blessing of wisdom, What is it? It's not a what. It's a who. It's the Lord Jesus Christ.

And in Him is life, abundant life, eternal life. That's what's on offer for you today and the rest of your life if you walk in the paths of righteousness. Let's pray. Lord, bless us. Bless our families.

Bless each family unit here. Bless our churches, Almighty God, that Your name and Your excellence might be declared from generation to generation, that we, Lord God, might hear Your voice and these young men might hear the voice and the Spirit might work in their hearts. Sanctify, deliver, save, and prosper all of us, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.