My topic this morning is the rod or corporal punishment or spanking. Greg and Melanie Magazoo are friends of the Dohm family. We don't know them well, but we met them I think it was eight years ago and they stayed in our house for several days. Had two precious daughters, they live in Massachusetts and They applied to be foster parents. The system is overburdened and they need people to volunteer to take children into your home on a temporary basis.

And they were rejected by a system that really needs volunteers, and they were rejected not because they were committed to spanking the foster children. You actually, to even participate in the system at all, you have to commit that you will not do that. They were rejected because they wouldn't say that they wouldn't spank their own two daughters And They challenged this in court and they lost and they appealed and they lost and it went to the Massachusetts Supreme Court and they lost. So it's now settled precedent in Massachusetts that if you're committed to spanking your own children, let alone what you would ever consider doing with foster children, if you're simply committed to spanking your own children that you're not welcome to be a foster parent. Now you might say well that's just Massachusetts okay I just want to declare that Massachusetts, they might be on the leading edge of the curve, but we're on the same curve.

Maybe we're a decade behind Massachusetts, but we're on the same curve and we're headed there as fast as we can get there. And it's not just out there. We can't just say this is a problem in the world, but it's not a problem in the church. You may be familiar with the work of Clay and Sally Clarkson. Clay has written a book called Heartfelt Discipline and there's a lot within that book that we would and should say amen to.

They have a lot of helpful things to say about getting to the heart of your children, but they totally neglect spanking. They reject spanking as something that is a mandate in Scripture. In other words, he says in that book that the places and proverbs that I'll be going to in just a few minutes are not a biblical foundation for spanking and that parents can sort of do it if they think they should but you shouldn't believe that you have a biblical foundation for doing that. Now this is a couple that is well thought of within the homeschooling community. They homeschooled their children all the way through, but they reject what I'm teaching here today.

So this is not just an out there in the world concern. These are the waters that we're swimming in. This is the environment that we're in. And so it is incumbent upon us to have a firm grasp of exactly what the Bible says and be ready to obey and defend it. Okay, there are three things in what I just said.

One, you got to know what the Bible says. Two, we have to have hearts that are ready to obey it, no matter what Massachusetts says. And three, we have to be prepared as a Christian community to defend these things. If the Christian community is not willing and ready to rise up and to defend these things, we're going to lose them within a generation you can count on it. We have to make ourselves ready not just to understand what the Bible says, not just to obey what the Bible says, but to rise up as the people of God to defend what God says is good.

Here's how we're going to spend our time this morning on three main points. First we're going to review what the Bible says about the rod, particularly in the book of Proverbs. Secondly, We're going to put the rod within a theological framework. The rod, corporal punishment or spanking, absolutely must be set within a theological framework. And then finally, I'll be providing some practical thoughts on the application of the rod.

So as we consider these things let's ask for the Lord's help. Our God, your thoughts are higher than our thoughts, your ways are higher than our ways, how thankful we are that you have not left us to our thoughts and our ways languishing God I pray that you would pull us up oh God lift us up to your thoughts and your ways let God be true and every man a liar. Let the ways of mankind be rejected and your ways be loved and embraced and obeyed and defended. Pray in Jesus name amen. Okay first let's review what the Bible says about the rod beginning with Proverbs.

I hope you have your Bible on your lap and if you do, please turn to Proverbs 13 verse 24. I'm going to take you to four places in Proverbs. The first is Proverbs 13 verse 24. Follow along as I read it. He who spares his rod hates his son.

This is Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. First, we should notice that this is a father-son relationship that is in view and by implication a parent-child relationship. That's what we're talking about here, fathers and sons, fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, mothers and daughters. And I think we want to begin by saying, affirming that every dad in the room, every dad in both churches must consider himself the chief disciplinarian of the home.

This is part and parcel with headship. If you are the head of the home, then you are by definition the chief disciplinarian in that home. Now, is it appropriate for mom also to engage in disciplining children with the rod? Of course it is. Mom is dad's help me.

But I do want to suggest that in homes where the rod is primarily engaged by the mother that something's out of whack, something is not right. The father's not seeing himself as the head of every category in the household and he's delegated something to too great of an extent and put a load on his wife that he should relieve his wife from. Not totally. Again, mom's going to be at home. Mom's going to be governing most of the hours of the day if your home is like mine.

So I'm not saying that it's inappropriate for the mother to during the course of the day engage children with the rod. I'm just saying that that cannot make fathers lose sight of the fact that they are the head of discipline in their house they are the chief disciplinarian by virtue of being the head of the house I don't think I'm saying anything controversial there it's very easy for fathers to fall into the pattern because the mother is controlling what happens in the house for most of the hours in the day for that to become her thing and for him to become disengaged and fathers must reverse course on that. If that is happening in your home, reverse course today, reclaim the spot of chief disciplinarian in your house, and make it so that maybe even a slim majority of the instances of the use of the rod in your house are done by you. Come home during the day if you have to, to reclaim that spot at the request of your wife. Now we have this word, rod, in this verse.

He who spares his rod hates his son. And the Hebrew word that is rendered rod, rod is actually an excellent rendering, Strong's, says in this context this is literally a stick for punishment. Okay, that's what it is. It's a stick. Okay, context gives us that it is a stick for punishment.

The word itself just means a stick or a branch. And in the next verse we're going to look at in a minute, Proverbs 22 verse 15, it's actually called the rod of correction. That tells you what you need to know. It is a rod and its purpose is for corrective discipline. And our verse here, Proverbs 13, 24 says that if you spare it, if you withhold it, that's how the NASB translates it, if you withhold the rod, It is actually an act of hatred.

It doesn't mean you intended it to be an act of hatred. It doesn't require intent. It just defines it. The proverb defines it as an act of hatred. It says that is the implication of sparing the rod or withholding the rod.

Now we find this in many different categories, don't we? How cruel mercy can be. Meaning something that we intended to be merciful thought was merciful but it's not according to God's definition of merciful so we're actually being more merciful than God which is not possible And it becomes something that was intended to be merciful, but it's actually hatred. It actually goes in exactly the opposite direction. That's what Proverbs 13, 24 says about sparing the rod, withholding the rod.

You did it out of tender-heartedness, maybe. And it ended up being an act of hatred. It's a cruel mercy. But our proverb says, if you really love, you will discipline, you will engage the use of the rod promptly. Right away.

The NASB and the ESV render that same word instead of promptly, render it diligently. Why is that? It's because the Hebrew word has two senses. The first sense is speed of taking action. That's why the New King James renders it promptly.

It's Speed of taking action. There's wrong, bad behavior and you act right away. You act speedily. And it's right to do so. That's one sense of the word.

Another sense of the word is earnestness in the undertaking. In other words, you're diligent about it. You take care in engaging this action. So both are senses of this Hebrew word and both are essential to discipline in your home. Promptness and earnestness.

So it's a great word to have been included in here. I want you to consider Ecclesiastes chapter 8 verse 11. Listen to this. Ecclesiastes chapter 8 verse 11. Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil Ecclesiastes 8-11 says what so often happens when you don't act promptly, when you don't act immediately and earnestly, it gets misinterpreted as it doesn't matter.

Listen to the verse again. Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily Therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil In other words when you don't act promptly you ask for this result Their heart is set to do evil because they interpreted your patience, your leniency, as it doesn't matter. Now two questions coming out of our verse. Our verse is, he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines promptly. Two questions.

Does God view the rod as the last resort? Okay, when you look at Proverbs 13, 24, you have to answer that question. A resounding no! No! The rod is not the last resort.

So the rod is being lost, as we find out in Massachusetts. The rod is not welcome in society anymore, in many places in society anymore. But even when it is welcome, often that's the mindset. If you've exhausted everything else and you've pulled all your hair out, then you go looking for a rod. The very last resort.

That is not what Proverbs 13 24 says. That is not the mindset that Proverbs 13 24 would give us. So that's the first question. Does God view the rod as the last resort? Absolutely not is the answer.

Here's the second question. What does God think of counting to three? What does God think of counting to three? Does counting to three sound like promptness and earnestness in taking action to you. No.

But again, it comes out of a mindset that the rod is really something that we should do so very grudgingly. The Bible puts forward the rod as a blessing and not a curse. We just have to train our minds to think. The rod is not a curse that we can engage when we're finally frustrated enough to take action. That's exactly where one, two, two and a half, two and three quarters, two and nine eighths comes from.

Okay, the mindset that the rod is a curse. It is not a curse. Our second verse in Proverbs, turn to chapter 22, Proverbs 22 Verse 15. Proverbs chapter 22 verse 15, which reads, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far from him Again foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child the rod of correction will drive it far from him It's easy to translate that in your brain to somebody has to do something about all this silliness.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child. If we have any more tomfoolery here, somebody's going to have to do something. But no, foolishness is not silliness, it is moral deficiency. In the book of Proverbs, foolishness is not silliness, It is moral deficiency. The fool says in his heart, there is no God.

Foolishness is the overflow of a heart that is suppressing the truth and unrighteousness because it loves sin. That's what foolishness is in the book of Proverbs. It's the manifestation of a heart that is suppressing the truth and unrighteousness, Romans 1, because the heart loves sin. So the heart is protecting sin. And so it's not an age problem, it's a human problem that should be engaged early.

That's why we're talking about the heart of a child. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of an adult if you don't engage it as a child. Okay, so don't read this as it's silliness and it's just sort of an age problem that needs to be dealt with some kind of way. No, okay, This is moral deficiency that is part and parcel with fallen human nature. This is depravity that must be engaged early in life so you don't end up with an adult where foolishness is still bound up in the heart.

Somebody's got to start driving that out of the heart early in life. Listen to what Matthew Henry says, every child of ours is a child of Adam and Therefore has that foolishness bound up in his heart which calls for the rod If you have a child in a sense, it's not your child. It's Adam's child. He is Adam's child She is Adam's child. He or she has inherited Adam's fallen nature because sin has come into the world.

And sin is bound up. Moral deficiency, suppressing the truth and unrighteousness is bound up in that little heart from the earliest days. And so you've got to engage that from the earliest days. Here's a related proverb. Listen to this, Proverbs 19, 18.

Proverbs 19, 18 says, Chasing your son while there is hope and do not set your heart on his destruction. So, this takes us right back to taking action promptly and earnestly. Right? And do not set your heart on His destruction. But it says, chasing your son while there is hope.

Meaning there is a window of time where there is more hope to engage the depravity in the heart of that young human. There's more hope. It's before the hardening of sin takes place. Sin hardens. You see that everywhere in the Bible.

I'm not saying anything controversial here. Sin has a hardening effect. So you've got to start right away in the life of any human, any little boy, any little girl. You've got to engage that sin. You've got to call it sin.

You've got to deal with it as sin, and you've got to start driving it out of the heart of that child. God gives authorities in every sphere to constrain evil. That's one of the key reasons why God has given us authorities. Authorities hold back evil. In the civil realm, The authorities are given the sword to constrain evil, to hold back evil.

In the church realm, the authorities are given the keys to keep out or take in or put out in order to constrain evil in the sphere of the family. The authorities are given the rod to constrain evil, to hold back evil. For who? For everyone. Restraint of evil helps you and it helps me and it helps the little child Those under our care if you're in authority in a family, are to learn at your hands that their evil inclinations are not to be slavishly served.

Okay, that's the purpose. Their natural inclinations that are bound up in their heart, they were born with them, they got them from Adam, are not to be slavishly served. And so you're saying in this house we serve the Lord and those inclinations that are against God in every way may not be slavishly served by you here. They may not be. They will not be.

The Hebrew word here rendered child can be an infant, it can be a youth, it can be up to 20 years old. There's a wide age range on child. So when we see child here in the Proverbs in these verses we shouldn't think toddler. You can't convert child to toddler because that's not what the Hebrew word means. It means somebody early in their life but early in their life can be up to 20 in terms of the usage of this Hebrew word.

Now here's a final consideration. So we're in Proverbs 22, 15, right? Back up to verse 6. Okay, same chapter back up to verse six train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it same chapter this is a subset of that in other words engaging the rod using physical discipline is a subset of training up a child in the way he should go. Now, I mean, you can just take that training up a child in the way he should go and just marry it together with Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4 bringing up children in the training and admonition of the Lord.

They are talking about exactly the same thing. And so, engaging your children with physical corrective discipline, the rod is a subset of training up a child in the way he should go. It's a subset of bringing up children in the training and admonition of the Lord. It's part of that picture. It's a slice of that pie.

The whole pie includes teaching, instruction, exhortation, rebuke, but it also includes engaging with the rod. It's part of it. The third passage you'll find in Proverbs 23, turn to Proverbs 23, turn the page essentially. Proverbs 23 verses 13 and 14. Proverbs 23, 13 and 14 read, Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell." The Hebrew word here rendered beat in the New King James has lots of baggage. In other words, is there any modern usage in which the beating of a child is acceptable and not by definition abusive? I would say the answer to that is no. Every modern usage when you talk about beating a child, it equals abuse. And so because that term has so much baggage, I like how the NASB and the ESV renders it.

Those translations render it strike. Both are okay translationally. I'm just saying one has a lot of baggage in our modern environment and the other doesn't. So I like the other. I'll take strike.

Thank you very much. They're both fine, they're both good translations. I think in our modern environment, we should think in terms of if you strike him with a rod he will not die, you shall strike him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. This has to do with your main area of concern. In other words, what do you care the most about?

God has given you a son. God has given you a daughter. Do you care the most about their body and their comfort? Have you over prioritized the body and the comfort of that son God has given you, of that daughter God has given you. This section, these two verses would rebuke us of that and would tell us don't be overly concerned with the body and the comfort of this son or this daughter that God has put in your home.

Be concerned with their soul our bodies are so temporary in view of eternity we're gonna have them for a day and tomorrow They're gone and our souls will live on and on and on Think about their soul Is what we're learning from Proverbs 23 13 and 14 think about the soul sin needs to be utterly sinful in our homes the rod does this. When you withhold, when you spare the rod you're saying that's not that big of a deal. As if it's not that big of a deal to a holy God. We cannot teach this by sparing the rod. We cannot teach this in our homes by withholding the rod.

That sin is not that big of a deal to a holy God. One of our big duties as parents, one of our primary duties is to help them understand how holy God is. And how sinful, black, dark, staining sin is. When you say, well that doesn't deserve anything serious. You're teaching them that God is not holy.

You didn't mean to, you didn't want to, but you are anyway. Here's what Matthew Henry says. When it is given with wisdom, designed for good, accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God. It may prove a happy means of preventing His utter destruction and delivering His soul from hell. Our great care must be about our children's souls.

Amen to Matthew Henry. Our great care must be about our children's souls. We're so tender. They have discomfort. They're crying.

Yeah, that's because it hurt. And it should hurt so that they know that sin is sinful. It is a black mark. Sin is a black mark. And God is holy.

What are you more worried about? Temporary bodily pain or their soul? Of course you're more worried about their soul. But we have to parent like it. We have to parent like it.

Finally, let's go to Proverbs chapter 29. Proverbs chapter 29 verse 15. Proverbs 29 15, the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Again, The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child to himself brings shame to his mother. In this verse, two things are joined together.

The rod and rebuke lead to wisdom. They impart wisdom. Not the rod imparts wisdom, not rebuke imparts wisdom, but the rod and the rod joined with rebuke imparts wisdom. So we can't engage the rod and neglect rebuke. That's a mistake.

We cannot engage rebuke but neglect the rod. That's a mistake. Now, I don't believe that a full length sermon is required. In other words, in our efforts to keep these things joined, the Rod and Rebuke instruction reproof, not just spanking and moving on, but explaining how this does violate God's holiness, how it fits with the gospel. It doesn't have to be a full length sermon every time.

But these things, if wisdom is going to be the output, these things should go together. This addresses, this verse addresses the hands off, just let them bloom approach to parenting. That's what you do to weeds. If you want weeds that's what you do. Hands off, just let them bloom.

Just leave them alone, it'll all work out in the end. There's a lot of that even within the Christian community. Listen to the verse again, the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. You leave a child to himself or herself, you got a weed. Flowers get pruned and cared for and watered.

Nothing is more disastrous than a child left to himself or herself, left to become slave to his or her inclinations. If you have a child that is left to, allowed to, just give himself or herself over to what comes naturally, you're gonna have a mess. And the result will be an ashamed mother. Why mother? Now we can go other places in the Proverbs and find children disgracing their fathers with their conduct.

So it's not like there's not the other testimony within the Proverbs. There certainly is. But in this verse, mom is called out. Why mom? Well, I'm speculating, but I think it has to do with mom has the most time with the children.

Usually she has the most time. And time equals influence. Right? It's math. Isn't that why many or most of us are homeschooling it's just the math we can't bear the thought of the state having the bulk of the hours?

Knowing that that means that gives them the bulk of the influence? Well, it's the same here. Mom has the bulk of the hours. She has the math in her favor. It's simple numbers.

And with the hours comes the influence. And mothers can often be inclined to be too tender-hearted and to spare the rod. You can find exceptions on both sides, but if you would say, One gender or the other is inclined to shrink back from engaging the rod in discipline because of their tender heartedness, because of their penchant towards mercy, which is it men or women? Which is it, dad or mom? I think the Proverbs is pointing to this, mothers be careful, mothers be careful that your tender heart doesn't manifest itself in a way that harms your children.

Mothers be careful. Mothers are often inclined to mercy, and it can be a cruel mercy Now look two verses later that was verse 15 look two verses later correct your son and he will give you rest. Yes, he will give delight to your soul. So Proverbs chapter 29 gives us both sides of the coin. It gives us a child that's left to himself that becomes a source of reproach to his mother.

And then there's the child that has been engaged with godly biblical discipline that becomes a delight to the soul of his parents. There are two verses apart, verse 15 and verse 17. When you look at verse 16 and you look at verse 18, the verses that sort of wrap around these two verses, you get verses about cultures in chaos. And I don't think that that's coincidence. If we don't discipline our children and confront sin in our homes, Where does that take you?

It takes you to a culture in chaos. These things are related. So that was number one. Reviewing what the Bible says about the rod by looking at four verses within the book of Proverbs that speaks directly about parents and the use of the rod. There are others.

I think those are the four that are the most prominent. Secondly, I'd like to put the rod within a theological framework. By a theological framework, I mean God-centered as opposed to man-centered. The theology has to be our framework for everything. We have to hook every category to God.

If you don't know how it relates to God, then you don't understand it. So the same is true with the rod, the same is true with corporal punishment, the same is true with spanking. If you don't understand how it relates to God, then you don't understand it yet. It needs a theological framework, a God-centered framework and not a man-centered framework. If you put the rod in a man-centered framework, what you end up with is I don't like your behavior your behavior needs to change now we don't like their behavior and their behavior does need to change but it doesn't start there and it doesn't stop there that's not the most important matter.

Galatians chapter 3 teaches us that the law is a tutor to bring us to Christ. That's what law in your family is designed for. We don't like their behavior and we want it to change but teaching the law and enforcing the law in your home is fundamentally about it driving your children to Christ if God would give you the grace. The law is a tutor that brings us to Christ. That's how God parents.

He gives us law. He enforces His law and it's designed to drive us to Christ when we find out how bad we are at keeping the law. Malachi 2 tells us why God brings a man together with a woman into marriage. Why one? Malachi 2 says.

What's the answer? He desires godly offspring. That's why marriage, that's why children, God wants the gospel to be successfully passed from one generation to the other, to the other, to the other, to the other, till Jesus comes back. And this is our part in that. This is about playing our role in that.

Now it's not the role it's a role. God plays the role. You cannot parent your children into the kingdom of God. That's impossible. To affirm that would be to overthrow the doctrine of election.

May it never be. God is sovereign in salvation. And yet, God does not work apart from means. He establishes means to do His will. And so often His means are to give a child Christian parents who love the Lord and love the gospel and teach it every day in their home and engage discipline responsibly and biblically every day in their home as means to bringing them to Christ.

The law is a tutor to bring them to Christ. God brought you together in your marriage because he desires godly offspring so we have great reason to hope that our children will be saved by God. You cannot parent your children into the kingdom of heaven, and you certainly cannot spank them into the kingdom of heaven. Okay, it doesn't do that. It was never designed to do that.

But it was designed to make sin utterly sinful. That's the start of conversion. Recognizing that sin is utterly sinful and seeing it for what he is and understanding the holiness of God is a starting point for a progression that leads to faith, saving faith. Now turn with me to Hebrews chapter 12. Hebrews chapter 12.

Hebrews chapter 12 talks about God's discipline and equates it to what he intends discipline to be in the home. And the point is we're to parent the way the Bible tells us to parent because that's how God parents us. This is what we get from Hebrews chapter 12. Follow along as I read Hebrews chapter 12 verses 5 through 11. And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons.

My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him. For whom the Lord loves he chastens and scourges every son whom he receives. Now Proverbs 3 is being quoted so the New Testament authors are going back and drawing on proverbs for speaking about these things. That's noteworthy. Continuing in verse 7.

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons. For what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?

For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but he for our profit that we may be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful. Nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Why do we chasten our children? Why do we scourge sons and daughters?

Because God scourges sons and daughters and why does he do it? So they may be partakers of his holiness because it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness. God parents us that way. Who can say that they haven't been scourged by God? If you can say that, you're not a son.

That's what Hebrews 12 says. But those of us who know chastening, scourging at the hands of God, know that we must chasten and scourge our children because that's how God parents and he models it for us and it's so that we may be partakers of His holiness. We might have the peaceable fruit of righteousness. That is a theological framework for the rod. It's not bare, sterile behavior modification because you're ticked off because they're not acting like you want them to act.

That's just ungodliness. That thought is ungodliness. My sensibilities have been violated so now somebody has to pay. That is not Christian parenting. That is not the rod according to the Bible.

I have children that God has given me and he wants them to be partakers of his holiness and to yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness so I'm here and I have a duty And so I prayerfully engage in this. That is the rod as the Bible would have us think of it. Now thirdly, I want to provide some practical thoughts on the application of the rod. Some very practical thoughts. I have nine of them in nine minutes and it's okay I'm prepared to go fast.

I'm going to make it. Number one, anger must not be the centerpiece of your use of the rod. As Ephesians 4 26 says, be angry and do not sin. You will be angered, you will be angry at the behavior of your children. Sometimes it cannot be the center piece.

You might need to cool off before you engage the use of the rod. At least you must not sin in your anger. When I've taught on this in the past, I've taught on how I want my disposition to