In his sermon titled 'The Father,' Jason Dohm explores the theme of the father-son relationship, emphasizing the importance of preparing sons to face various challenges in life by instilling principles of honor and obedience. The sermon is divided into four main sections: the doctrine of honor and obedience for sons, the doctrine of wise headship for fathers, contrasting examples of sons, and final exhortations. Dohm stresses that sons must honor and obey their fathers as a form of worship to God, linking earthly obedience to spiritual obedience. He uses biblical examples, contrasting Absalom as a dishonoring son with Jesus as the ultimate example of an honoring son. Fathers, on the other hand, are encouraged to lead with wisdom, avoiding actions that provoke their children to wrath, and instead nurturing them in the training and admonition of the Lord. The sermon highlights the interconnectedness of these relationships, noting that honoring one's earthly father is foundational to honoring God. Ultimately, Dohm calls for partaking in Christ to gain the power to live out these principles, emphasizing that true honor and obedience stem from a relationship with Jesus.

So the topic for this hour is the Father. We've been speaking about sons meeting various people. The whole theme of the weekend is the fact that sons are going to come in contact with various people in their lives and it's a father's duty to make a son ready to meet with these different characters. So far we've talked about the harlot, the lion, and the bald man, all very important in their own right. Now we're going to talk about the father.

This is the character that a son will meet first and this is the character that a son will meet most. So while the father is a character that's less dramatic than these others that a son will meet, the father is a character that is more important than these other characters. Here's what I mean. With the harlot, the lion, and the bald man there's a confrontation. It's dramatic.

With a father, usually it's every day, it's many times a day. And usually, it's not a confrontation, a direct confrontation. So, it's less dramatic, but it's more fundamental. Because sons are going to be rubbing against, there's going to be friction in life because sons are going to be in constant contact with their father, their earthly father. Scott and I were traveling together a couple of days ago and I asked Scott just to give me his thoughts on this and he said, wow, It's pretty simple.

The counsel to sons about how they relate with their fathers is simple. Honor and obey, two words. Okay, so I'm pretty much done. Honor and obey. And that's true.

To summarize it and to lay it out is simple, but simple is not the same thing as easy. And sons are going to learn this across the course of their lives. How they're to understand what God says about how they're to relate with their dad is a simple matter. Honor and obey, period, end of sentence. But that's not the same as saying that This is an easy thing and sons find that they struggle in their encounter with this character in their lives this this Mountain in their lives a father is a mountain in the life of of every son Here's the roadmap for our time.

There are going to be four divisions of what we'll be speaking of. Number one, the doctrine of honor and obedience for sons. That's the first thing we're talking about. The doctrine of honor and obedience for sons. Number two, the doctrine of wise headship for fathers.

The doctrine of wise headship for fathers. Number three, contrasting examples of sons. I'm going to give you Bible examples that give us the opposite ends of the spectrum. In other words, there's good sonship, really good sonship, and there's really bad sonship, and the Bible paints both of those two pictures in real life example and then finally some final words of exhortation. So as we go to these four sections, these four divisions, let's ask the Lord for help.

Father, I thank you that you've brought us together today as fathers and sons to help us to love one another and to help us to grow under the authority of your Word. You've been so kind to share with us your thoughts in your holy word, your precious word. Now help us to love these words, help us to apply ourselves to them, help us to come happily under the authority of what you said and to worship you by honoring your word. May it be so in the name of your son Jesus. Amen.

Okay, number one, the doctrine of honor and obedience for sons. Please open your Bible to Ephesians chapter 6. You need to have one finger in Ephesians chapter 6 and you need to have another finger in Colossians chapter 3. We're going to spend most of our time in these two texts. Ephesians chapter 6, Colossians chapter 3.

So here, Paul speaks first to children and we'll be applying this to sons. Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 3, follow along with me as I read. Paul writes Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1, Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth." Here in Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 3, Paul is speaking to sons and daughters about their relationship with their fathers and mothers. So it's two sons and daughters about fathers and mothers.

So we're going to apply this to sons and their relationship with their fathers. And Paul starts out with a command, obey. Okay, sons, This is God's commandment to you through the Apostle Paul, obey your Father. It is a command to obedience and what that means is you are not the peer of your Father. That's not the relationship that God has designed for you and your father.

You have friends and you have peers and Dad is not that. Does this mean that you shouldn't have a friendship with your father? Of course that's not what it means, but it means that fundamentally that's not your relationship. Fundamentally God Almighty, the designer of this relationship has given sons their fathers to help them and to instruct them and to command them. I'm actually going to purposefully use the words of Scripture to offend our sensibilities because we don't like these words anymore.

We don't want to think that anyone has the God-given right to command us, but that's exactly what Paul says here right at the beginning of our text in Ephesians chapter 6. Fathers have not only the right, but the duty to command their sons. And sons have the duty to obey their fathers. They are not the peers, the buddies of their fathers. They are the subordinates.

They are the inferiors, not in value, but in position. Why? Because God made everything. God gave you your life. God gave you every breath you've ever breathed.

And He says, and we should trust Him and we should know that he's wiser than we are. Then Paul says this, so he starts out with obey your parents in the Lord. Now, this phrase, in the Lord, modifies obey, not parents. In other words, if it modified parents, if he was saying obey parents who are in the Lord. If that was the argument that he was making, you'd be off the hook if you could argue that your parents weren't in the Lord.

But that's not what Paul is saying here. He's not saying you should obey them if there's an ongoing demonstration that they're in the Lord, but If there's not that, then all bets are off and obedience is not required anymore. It's actually a fundamental relationship and the obedience is required regardless of what you think the state of your parents is. So it's not parents in the Lord, it's obedience in the Lord. How do I know that?

Well, because you can go to other places where Paul speaks of authority and he more often than not uses the phrase, as to the Lord. He's meaning the same thing as those other places where He's explaining relationships of authority where He says, as to the Lord. So you're obeying in the Lord. Your obedience is connected to your relationship not just with your father but with your God who made you and gave you your life. This is so important because It connects your obedience or your disobedience to your relationship with God.

In other words, there's something bigger at stake than just a household relationship. Disobedience messes up a household relationship, but there's so much more that's happening when there's disobedience and dishonor. It's not just messing up a household relationship, but it's also messing up your relationship with the one who made you and gave you your life with your Heavenly Father. So There is such a tight connection between you and your earthly father and how you're relating to him, and you and your heavenly father and how you're relating to him. In other words, there aren't disobedient sons to their earthly fathers who are obedient to your Heavenly Father, that's not possible.

You're not in a state of obedience to your Heavenly Father when you're in a state of disobedience with your earthly father. Obey in the Lord, making the connection with your relationship to God. And then Paul says the obvious, this is right. It's right. Why is it right?

Because nothing is more right than honoring God. And obedience to your father, sons, sons, even adult sons. The relationship changes, but there's still honor required. Obedience to your Father is a form of obedience to God. It's a form of honoring God to honor and obey your earthly father.

And the opposite is also true. So obedience is right. That's what Paul says. But it's safe to say that the opposite is also true. Disobedience is wrong.

Why was obedience right? Because obedience is a form of honoring God. Why is disobedience wrong? For the same reason. Because disobedience is a form of dishonor towards God.

The connection remains. Then in verses 2 and 3, Paul grounds what he's teaching in the 5th commandment by quoting Deuteronomy chapter 5, verse 16. Deuteronomy chapter 5 is the second giving of the Ten Commandments. Exodus 20 is the first time we see the giving of the law. Moses comes off the mountain with two tablets, Ten Commandments.

And then Moses restates it to the people in Deuteronomy right as they're beginning to go into the promised land to remind the people of what God has commanded them to do, the second giving of the law. That's what Deuteronomy means, second law. The second giving of the law. Deuteronomy chapter 5, a restatement of the Ten Commandments and this is what Paul quotes here in Ephesians chapter 6. He's grounding what he's teaching in the fifth commandment.

In other words, it's not new teaching in Ephesians. It's a restatement and an explanation of the fifth commandment. Paul started with obey, now he quotes the fifth commandment and it's honor. What's the difference? Honor is the disposition of the heart towards intense respect.

Honor and dishonor reside in the heart. Honor is a disposition of the heart, it's an inclination of the heart towards intense respect. Not a little respect, but intense respect. That is what God is commanding and requiring. And Paul is quoting.

And obedience is the manifestation of that. In other words, honor works its way out and shows itself in things, in life, in obedience. And dishonor works its way out of the heart. These things always show themselves. Isn't that true?

The things in the heart eventually work their way out and you always show the true colors. You can hide things in your heart for a while but eventually they seep out. You can't keep it hidden forever. It works its way out. It manifests itself.

Honor manifests itself in obedience, in a willingness to obey the commandments of a father. It demonstrates honor in the heart. Obedience demonstrates honor in the heart. One is the root, the other is the fruit. Honor is the root.

It is underground. You can't see it, but it is a reality. And you do see it eventually in the fruit at the end of the branch. Paul then says that this command has a companion. It's not by itself, it has a companion.

A promise of blessing. How kind of God. God gave us our life, right? So He has the rights of the Creator. He has the rights to command.

He doesn't have to promise blessing with His commandments. We are His. He formed us from dust. He doesn't owe us a blessing for obeying the One who made us from dust and gave us the breath of life and yet He is so kind and He is so interested in our obedience to this commandment that He piles up a blessing for those who will obey it. It will be well with you.

Anybody want that? It will be well with you. I think we would concede that that beats the alternative. It will be well with you and you'll live long in the land. God's so patient.

He's so kind that sometimes we forget that there is an end to His patience and if we persist in our sin, He will bring disaster upon us. Don't let the patience of God, the long suffering of God, the kindness and goodness of God make you think wrongly that He'll always be patient and He'll never show up and reckon with disobedience. God even in the gospel dispensation, even now, even now under the New Covenant, God has not suspended the law of sowing and reaping. That's what it means that you'll live long. The law of sowing and reaping still is in effect.

By the way, that's New Testament. That's Galatians 6. The people who only want to talk about the new covenant only want to talk about Galatians while sowing the reapings is in Galatians, brethren. So everybody has to claim that one. This is what it means.

It will be well with you. God promises that. God promises that He won't bring the disasters upon you that come eventually, sooner or later, to those who throw off His government. And by the way, while we're talking about the opposite always being true, God promises a blessing for obedience, but God promises the opposite is also true. There is a curse for disobedience.

It won't go well with you. Understand the blessing that God promises and understand that the opposite is also true. It won't go well with you if you refuse to honor your Father, Son. It won't. A thousand times it won't go well with you.

God has a thousand ways to reach into your life and to bring discipline and judgment that will make you turn around. Or will at least bring the pain that brings this to the forefront and forces you to deal with your dishonor. Now do keep a finger in Ephesians 6, but now look at Colossians 3. Paul is talking about the same subject in Colossians 3 verse 20. So now let's read that together.

Colossians 3 verse 20, Paul writes, children obey your parents in all things For this is well pleasing to the Lord. Same topic, sons and fathers, children and parents, we're applying to sons and fathers. Again, Paul gives the command, what's the command? Obey, but he says this, it's just a little different, obey your parents in all things. What?

The breadth of this is just breathtaking. It's unbelievable. Who would have the audacity to write this? An inspired apostle. These are the words of God for us, brothers.

Sons in the room, in the tent, under the tent. These are God's words for you. Children, sons, obey your fathers and your mothers in all things. Paul is teaching that sons are to have a radical predisposition to obey. Not a slight predisposition.

A radical predisposition to obey in all things. Can you think of an exception? Yes. This is not overthrowing the clear teaching of scripture elsewhere that if an authority commands you to do something that is in clear violation to the law of God, that you are to obey God rather than man. Yes, The reason Paul doesn't waste space on it is no one's ever seen that in their lifetime.

I've been alive 44 years and I've never once seen the exception with my own two eyes that you can imagine in your brain. So Paul doesn't waste space on it in the book of Colossians. So yes, okay, fine, we'll make the concession. If your father commands you to murder your next door neighbor, you should obey God rather than your father and you should murder your next door neighbor. Okay, fine.

Now we've dispensed with that, okay? You're never going to see with that. I shouldn't have wasted time here like Paul didn't waste time in Colossians. Obey your parents in all things. You should have sons.

You must have a radical predisposition to obey your Father. Why? Paul makes the connection again, but he makes it even more explicitly in Colossus chapter 3. This is well pleasing to the Lord. Again, He connects it, but this time so explicitly that you can't possibly miss it.

It's pleasing to the Lord when you obey your parents. And not just pleasing, but well pleasing to the Lord when you obey your parents. In other words, Sons, it's an act of worship. No one thinks of their obedience to your Father in these terms. It's so hard to keep this in view, but sons, you must keep this in view.

Your obedience to your Father is to be an act of worship. So often it's so far from that. But God wants it to be that. He wants to be well pleased by your obedience to your Father. Not just because He's bigger than you and stronger than you, but because you see that He's commanded it and you love Him and you want to obey Him.

So because He said to obey your Father, you obey your Father and you offer it up as a sweet smelling aroma. Have you ever thought of your obedience to your Father in those terms? Oh, do! Do! Why?

Because Paul says you should. Okay, this sweetens your obedience to your Father. It makes it so much fuller, sweeter, more pleasant to know that God is well pleased that this is an offering to the Lord when I obey my father. I'm not just obeying because he's bigger and hairier. I'm obeying because it's well pleasing to the Lord, and I want to please the Lord." Those who have been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, who have had their sins washed away, who were like scarlet but now they're white as snow because of the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ live to honor Him.

They want to please Him. They want to organize every part of their life to please Him. Here's something that Paul says is well pleasing to the Lord. Oh, do it with all your hearts. Offer up an incense of worship in the obedience to your fathers.

Let this sweeten obedience to your father. Make it more pleasant knowing that This is well pleasing to the Lord. Sons, understand how embedded in the plan of God obedience to your Father is. It's foundational. Here's my question to you, sons.

How far will you get without this? If God promises a blessing that it will be well with you and that your days may be long, and if the opposite is true, it won't be well with you and your days won't be long. If you withhold honor from your Father. I ask you this question, How far will you get in your life if you ignore this? If you throw aside the government of God in this category, how far will you expect to get?

How much happiness and contentment and satisfaction will you expect from life if this is what God has said? Do you think you can cheat the system? Do you think you can mock God and say, I'm sowing this, but I'll reap something completely different? No! Brothers, friends, no!

So that was number one. The doctrine of honor and obedience for sons. Nothing could be more foundational. Number two. The doctrine of wise headships for fathers.

Now we're continuing in Ephesians 6, now we're in verse 4. Read it with me. And you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Now Paul having addressed sons and daughters about their fathers and mothers turns to fathers and he says fathers don't do this do that this is my kind of instruction this is the kind of instruction I like You know just plain spoken and right to the point What's bad? Don't do the bad thing.

What's good? Do the good thing Got it Okay, this is perfect. This is crystal clear Do not Paul gives it to you on a silver platter, do not provoke your children to wrath. Don't stir up wrath, anger in your children by how you parent. In other words, there are ways that you can father, There are ways that you can parent that prey on the worst inclinations of your children.

You've got children, you've got a best case and a worst case with each kid. The best case is they're regenerate, they're born again, they're new creations. The worst case is they are not. We are going to give you the best case. The best case is they are born again.

Spiritual resurrection, The bodily resurrection is not until Jesus comes back. So, best case, Spirit is resurrected, but they still got sort of an anchor attached. The flesh that is always warring with that resurrected spirit. And there are ways that you can parent that prey on the worst of their flesh and tempt them to sin. Brothers, how unloving is it to lead your sons into sin by the way you parent, to tempt them to sin, to put enticements in front of their flesh that cause the very worst remnants to rise up and manifest itself, to show itself.

It's unloving to parent that way. It's unloving to father your sons in a way through partiality, showing partiality among children, or being inconsistent in how you parent, or being arbitrary and last second about everything. There are many ways that you can do this, but in short, if you want to know what those things are, look at when you parent in a way that causes anger to rise up in your children. Those are the things, right? It can be through these many things, but that's how you know.

You see, okay, I've parented in a way that is causing anger to rise up in my children. This is helping me to identify something. It doesn't mean that you back off and abandon your post when your children are angry. It doesn't mean that. I'm not saying that.

But I'm saying that God has charged us to parent in a way that doesn't make it easy for our sons to come into a state of anger. We should be helping them with this, not harming them in the way that we parent. We shouldn't be parenting in a way that preys on, inflames their worst inclinations. Now listen to Colossians 3 verse 21. We were just in Colossians 3.20 which says that children should obey in everything.

That Very next verse, the same sequence that we have in both places. First addressing sons, then addressing fathers. Here's Colossians 3.21, fathers do not provoke your children, same thing, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. So he's after the same thing but he's talking about it in a little different way. He's talking about you provoked them to wrath in Ephesians 6.

He says the end point, It leads to discouragement in your children, lest they become discouraged. That's Colossians 3.21. So sons, you have to obey in all things. This isn't the get out of jail free card that says if your father is parenting in a way that is not pleasing to you, or you think is unrighteous, then you can just do whatever you want. Of course Paul is not teaching that, or even implying that.

It's a sin not to obey your parents. Even when they are acting sinfully, even when their parenting isn't what you should be. But fathers, you are also guilty when you parent that way. So your kids, your sons, aren't off the hook for their sin, but you've entered into it. You're sharing in their sin.

You've come right alongside them in their sin. You've actually been very unkind and unloving by dangling a bait out there and then when their flesh lunges for the bait, now they're sinning and you had a hand in it, you led them right to the slaughter. It's unkind, it's unloving. Paul says, he gives us the contrast, Don't provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. This is the antidote to provoking to wrath.

In other words, there's a poison. There's a poison provoking your children to wrath. Now he's giving us the antidote to the poison. What is that? It's the opposite.

It's bringing your children up in the training and admonition of the Lord. If you're doing that, you won't be provoking them to wrath. You won't be causing them to be discouraged. Why? Because when you bring your children up in the training and admonition of the Lord, all His ways are pleasant ways.

And all His paths are peace. It's not the ways of wrath, it's not the ways of discouragement, it's pleasantness and it's peace. Fathers, think about elders and the qualifications for elders. We have the first list of qualification for elders of 1 Timothy chapter 3. One of those is about how you parent.

Now Understand the qualification for elders in context. Qualifications for elders isn't that you have an otherworldly creature who's a super Christian. The qualification for elders is that you have a verified Christian. Okay, marks of maturity, that's all it is. Not a super Christian, not an otherworldly Christian, but just a verified Christian.

Christian maturity has been verified, then he's ready. So, it's a description of what all Christian fathers ought to be. Simply. So not Super Dad, Christian dad. Here's 1 Timothy 3 verse 4.

One who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence. Okay, so a Christian father is to rule his own house well. And that looks a certain way in the life of his children, and it's specified. In submission with all reverence. So his children are supposed to be in submission.

Now, does the phrase with all reverence modify children in submission? In other words, is it the children who are supposed to be reverent about their submission, or does it modify the one who rules his own house well? Does it modify dad? Go look at the Greek. The Greek word that underlies reverence literally means a characteristic which entitles to reverence and respect.

This word, reverence, with all reverence, actually modifies the Father. It's speaking of Him and how He is to parent. Listen to that again. The Greek word means a characteristic which entitles to reverence and respect. In other words, he's parenting in a way that entitles him to reverence and respect.

That's what makes him a Christian father. Meaning, he wins the respect and the reverence of his children. He wins it. He contends for it. He competes for it.

He wins it. Christian fathers are to win the respect and the reverence of their children. The ESV renders it this way. The ESV with that in mind translates it this way. I love the way they translate it.

I don't use the ESV but it's a good translation and here they got a winner. He must manage his own household well with all dignity keeping his children in submission. I think they got right at the heart of what the Greek is saying. With all dignity keeping his children in submission, he is a man who wins the submission, the reverence, the respect of his children by parenting in a way that doesn't provoke their children to wrath, but they bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord, and they win their submission, they win their respect. Again, sons, I'm speaking to fathers.

I'm not making you, I'm not deputizing you as the policeman of this in your father's life. You are responsible to obey your father. Okay, so Now put your fingers in your ears. Now fathers, go win it. Go win the respect and submission of your sons.

Here's what we learn from this elder qualification. Fathers must secure honor and obedience. So sons owe it. Sons must honor, sons must obey. But God has given a duty to a father to go get it, to go secure that, to wage a holy war to secure honor and respect in the lives of their sons.

You cannot make them be born again. This does not overthrow the doctrine of election, but you can secure honor and obedience. It takes a lot of wisdom, it takes a lot of prayer, it takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but you can secure honor and obedience and God has tasked you to go get it. That's the first list of qualifications. Titus chapter 3 verse 4 speaks to this.

Excuse me, 1 Timothy chapter 3 verse 4. There's a second list of qualification, lots of overlap, both given by Paul. The second list is in Titus chapter 1. In Titus chapter 1, the second half of verse 6, the second half of that verse says this, having faithful children, he's talking about the children of elders again or men who are to be qualified to be elders, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination. So 1 Timothy 3 talked about the positive side of this coin and it says that his children display honor and obedience.

They're in submission. So there's a display of the good. They're in submission. They honor. They obey.

Titus 1 talks about the same coin but he flips it over and talks about the negative side of this coin, meaning that a father has to stamp out dishonor and disobedience. So his children cannot be accused of dissipation or insubordination. They can't be accused of the bad. 1 Timothy 3 says they have to display the good, they have to be in submission. Titus 1 says they have to be absent of the bad.

They can't be accused of dissipation or insubordination, meaning living an openly rebellious life. So on one hand, fathers have to go secure the good, they have to go secure honor and obedience and on the other side, they have to stamp out the bad. They have to stamp out dishonor and disobedience and wage war against it and never let it pass by without addressing it. Fathers, don't ever let obedience pass by. Don't ever let dishonor go unaddressed because God has given you a positive duty to stamp it out in the life of your son.

I'm not talking about crushing your sons. I'm not talking about going nuclear in every instance. Okay, that's not what I'm saying. But I'm saying God has given you a positive duty to address this and not let it pass by. Every instance of disobedience you should address in the life of your son.

Sometimes it's nuclear, sometimes it's very gentle, but every instance addressed. Same with dishonor. Fathers, How we parent these sons matters. God tells us, go secure the honor and the obedience. Go stamp out the dishonor and the disobedience.

And we should consider that no sacrifice is too great because this is so foundational and so important to the future lives of our sons. If we don't secure honor and obedience, it's not going to go well with our sons. We are praying, we're desiring that it would go well with our sons, that God would give them a long and fruitful life in his kingdom. That's not going to happen. If they don't obey and honor, so go secure it.

That's not going to happen if disobedience and dishonor runs in their hearts, so go stamp it out. So number one was the doctrine of honor and obedience for sons. Number two was the doctrine of wise headship for fathers. Number three is contrasting example of sons. I'm going to give you the opposite ends of the spectrum that God gives to us.

First I'm going to start by giving you the poster boy of a dishonoring son. The poster boy. In other words, if you made a poster to advertise for dishonor in the life of the son, It would be Absalom. Absalom is my poster boy of a dishonoring son. Meaning he's going to go down in history as having the name that when you say the name, that's what you think of.

Dishonor. Dishonoring a father. In 2 Samuel chapter 13, Absalom's sister is terribly mistreated by a half-brother. Okay, so his sister is defiled by a half-brother, mistreated. His dad, King David, is angry but he doesn't appear to take action.

So we don't get a lot of details in the text. We don't know exactly what David does or doesn't do, but it appears from the text that he's not taking action. And in any event, whatever he does or doesn't do, Absalom is not satisfied. Absalom doesn't think it's enough. And rather than this son, Absalom, appealing to his father and trusting his father, he bypasses his father.

Okay, so no appeal to his father. No level of trust, no sense of trust in his father, but he takes matters into his own hands and he kills his own half-brother for treating his sister that way. He totally bypasses his father. Sons, sons listen. What do you do when you think your father is wrong.

This is not news that you have been given a sinful father by God. There is only one kind of father, one kind of earthly father that God gives to sons. Sinful ones. Ones that get it wrong sometimes. Ones that have a rebellious streak in their own hearts.

So You got that to a greater or lesser extent, sons. That's what God has given you in His wisdom. Nobody in the tent was a perfect father who doesn't have a degree of what I just described. So now what, sons? Now you see something that you think is sin or is lack of wisdom in your Father.

What do you do? Do you come to Him and out of honor, out of a disposition of intense respect in your heart, you appeal to this Father? You appeal to Him in submission, out of respect? Or do you bypass Him? Do you just take matters into your own hands?

Sons, do you trust the wisdom of God, the sovereignty of God, even in the mistakes of your father or the perceived mistakes of your father? Sons, sometimes you don't see things right. You Just know that you know that you know that Dad's wrong, but you know what, you'll see years later Dad was right. Sometimes you're right about that sense of things, but sometimes you're dead wrong and you won't really know for a while. Just have your eyes open to that and be a humble young man.

Be a humble boy. And know that sometimes when you know that you know that you know you're wrong. Sometimes you're right, so you should always be humble. You should appeal to your father, not bypass your father. You should trust your father, not despise the father that God has given to you.

Sons, what do you do? The story continues in 2 Samuel chapter 15. David has forgiven Absalom of this. So Absalom has killed one of David's other sons, and David has forgiven him of this. So there are several places in the text that you can tell that Absalom has the heart of his father.

Meaning that you see all sorts of imperfections in the parenting of this father, but you also see that this is an affectionate father. He loves his son. He's making mistakes, but he loves his son. His affections are set upon Absalom. He has forgiven his son.

But it says in 2 Samuel chapter 15 that Absalom, having been forgiven by his father, is rising early and going to the city gates. He is sitting in those gates and he is winning away the people towards himself away from his father. It says that he stole the hearts of the men of Israel. He is winning the hearts of the men of Israel away from his father and towards himself. And in the next chapter in 2nd Samuel 16 he actually takes the throne from his father by force and he dishonors his father in the most profound way in taking his father's concubines, taking his father's sort of wives, semi wives, what a horrible idea but anyway topic for a separate day taking his father's sort of wives and living with them as his own sort of wives, dishonoring his father in that way, acting immorally on a rooftop, in publicly dishonoring his father, To make the rift, the split, complete and irreversible.

That is what he's doing when he does these things on a rooftop in the sight of all of Israel with his father's concubine. He's solidifying, he's making permanent the split. So that it can never be reversed. And then Two chapters later in 2 Samuel 18, he is overtaken. He reaps what he sows and he is killed in war as a result of these things that he has done.

And it does not go well with him and he does not live long in the land. He's the poster boy for dishonor and where dishonor goes. So he didn't start by publicly dishonoring his father on a rooftop. What you need to understand and see in the life of Absalom is that he put his feet on, he put his trains on a track that took him there. There was growing dishonor.

Sons, this is how it happens. This is why you have to keep such a careful account of your heart and you cannot allow dishonor and disobedience, even a little bit of it, because it puts your train on tracks that take you where you didn't intend to go. You didn't set out to go there, but because you pointed yourself in that direction by allowing disobedience, by allowing dishonor, you ended up there. And It won't go well with you. It will be like Absalom.

And your life won't be prolonged. God will bring disaster into your life to address this matter. Now, so, the poster boy of the dishonoring son, Absalom. Now, the example of an honoring son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Go to the whole book of John.

The whole book of John is full of statements of how Jesus loved His father, wanted to do the will of his father, honored his father. Here's a couple, John chapter 5 verse 19, Jesus says, Most assuredly I say to you, the Son can do nothing of himself, but what he sees the father do, for whatever he does, the son also does in like manner. In other words, the son had his eyes fixed upon his father. He wasn't after his own agenda. He was looking to his father because he loved his father and he had a disposition in his heart of intense respect to his father.

This is the relationship in the Trinity. The son loves the father, he honors the father, meaning he has a heart disposition of intense respect and reverence for his father. And so he's not after his own things. He's got his eyes on the Father and what the Father does, he does, because of the honor he has in his heart. Or John chapter 4, verse 34.

Jesus says, My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work. It's like eating to Jesus. Like you need breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Jesus needed to do the will of His Father because He loved His Father and He honored His Father. Jesus is our example of the honoring Son. This is what we see in Gethsemane.

Jesus is agonizing. It's hours away from his substitutionary death on behalf of sinners. And Jesus isn't agonizing over being martyred. You have to know that. He's not afraid to die.

This is not simple fear of physical suffering and death. This is agonizing over being made sin and separated from his father. He who knew no sin was made sin and it separated him from his father and he's agonizing he's sweating blood at the thought of displeasing his father. He's going to take on all the dishonor, all the disobedience, yours and mine. And the dishonor and disobedience in every category of anyone who has ever trusted Him, and it's going to separate him from his father.

That's what Gethsemane and the agonizing and the cup that he wanted to pass, if it could, was about. So I'm not just saying Be like Jesus, sons. Okay, listen to this. This is the most important thing. We've been, I'm probably already over time.

I don't care. I'm just gonna keep talking. For a few more minutes. This is the most important part. I'm not just saying, don't be like Absalom, be like Jesus.

That's all I have to give for you, you should run me off the stage. You have to have power. The preacher should not just offer you what everybody knows anyway. Everybody knows you shouldn't be like Absalom. Everybody knows Jesus was perfect, we should be like Him.

The question is, how? Where is the power going to come from for that? If it's so easy, don't be like that, be like this, why doesn't the world look that way? So it's not a simple matter of, look at Jesus, do that. It starts with partake of Jesus.

You don't have any hope to imitate Jesus unless, until you partake of Jesus. The Ten Commandments are out there. It's clear that they're wise. Why doesn't anyone obey them? Because they haven't partaken of Jesus, so they don't have any power.

So even though everybody knows that's good and wise, people are slaves to sin. You have to get free from the bondage and the slavery to disobedience and dishonor before you have any hope of having a life of obedience and honor. First partake of Jesus because He was the Son you should have been. The ship has left the harbor, the train has left the station. You can't be the son you should have been.

But Jesus was. What does that mean? That means that he always honored and obeyed his father. Always honored and obeyed his father. From the very beginning to the very end, no dishonoring words, No dishonoring thoughts.

No dishonoring actions. No disobedient words. No disobedient thoughts. No disobedient actions. Perfection from start to finish.

And because He was the Son that you weren't, but should have been, you owed that to God. Do you understand that? God gave you a life. He put you in a beautiful world. He supplies so many good things.

You owed him that honor and obedience, full honor and obedience, but you didn't. In fact, you raged against it. Now what? Now there's one who never raged against it, who lived the life that we should have lived and stands in the place of sinners for all who will trust in Him and His blood will cleanse you of your dishonor and disobedience, not just towards your earthly Father, but how much more towards your Father in heaven, the One who made you, and you owed Him your Obedience. Partake of Christ, sons.

I just want to declare with all the clarity that I can muster that there is no hope for you to be an honoring son and an obedient Son without partaking of Christ. Oh sure, there is a counterfeit honor, there is a counterfeit obedience, it's external, it will look acceptable to me, you can fool me, but you will never fool God. True honor and true obedience is for those who have partaken of Christ. And the power of sin has been broken and they are not slaves to it anymore. And so now they have a freedom to obey that no unbeliever can ever have.

It takes the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ to break the bondage and to give you a hope that honor and obedience can become patterns in your life. First partake of Christ, then imitate Christ. Oh, heaven, heaven help us for all the preaching that starts with the imitation of Christ towards people who have never partaken of Christ. I just want to declare that is futile and impossible. Sons, this is impossible.

You will never be able to imitate Christ until you have partaken of Him. Now just a few final words of exhortation. We're really done. The Christian life is a life of growing in Christlikeness. So you partake of him first and he breaks the power of sin and then you start growing in Christlikeness.

You don't partake of Him and then you're like Christ. You begin on the journey of looking a little more like Him. And that journey will take you all the rest of your life and you still won't be there yet. It will take the bodily resurrection to finish the work. But this is our life.

This is what it means to be a Christian, to set your feet on that path to become a little more every day like the beautiful image of the Lord Jesus Christ. So sons, here's a way you do that. You yield honor and obedience to your earthly father. Yield it to him. Obey him.

Honor him as an offering of worship to your Heavenly Father. Sons, don't ever let that get disconnected again. Endeavor now to always keep them connected. You're yielding obedience to an earthly father As an act of worship to your Heavenly Father, it will sweeten it. It will give you more power to do it, when you think of it that way, when you understand that it is that way.

Sons, Here's the deal. God has put an earthly father in your life to train you. That's why He did it. God didn't have to do it this way. God can do it anyway.

He's God. But He designed it this way, to give you an earthly father to train you because for the rest of your life you're going to have authorities in your life. You're going to have an employer, a boss. Through your earthly father, God is training you to relate rightly to your employer. You're going to have church leaders.

If you're going to have any participation among the people of God, you're going to have church leaders. In giving you an earthly father, God is training you to deal, to relate rightly with your church leaders. We live in a country with a government. I don't know of a country without a government. The rest of your life you're going to be relating with authorities in the civil realm.

By giving you an earthly father, God is training you to relate rightly with the government. And on and on. No man is without this. Find the man on earth who has no authorities. Earthly authorities.

God has given them an earthly father, all of us an earthly father, to make us ready for this, but ultimately, He's making us ready to yield obedience to God Himself. You're in training under your earthly father, and you're learning how to yield obedience to God Himself. You will never honor God the Father Until you learn to honor your earthly father some are easier to honor I had a father very easy to honor I know men in this room who have fathers who are very hard to honor And it may sound easy for me to say but it doesn't matter God is wise God is God is causing all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are the called according to His purpose. He was wise in giving you your Father. It's the training ground.

He's making you ready for things and He's helping you to know how to honor Him. Let's pray. Oh God, help us to know how to honor You. I thank You for Heavenly Fathers. I thank you for the Heavenly Father you've given to me.

God, you are so kind. He's such an easy Father to honor, even with imperfections. They're few and they're mild. Thank you for the Father that you've given me. But God, I know that You've been wise in the Father that You've given to every man here and I know that You're using this to train us to help us to understand how to honor You in this life.

Oh God, we thank You for the cleansing work of Your Son Jesus Christ to help us to live out thankfulness in our lives to honor You. Thank You for these things in life that You have given us to help us to know. Pray these things in the name of Your Son Jesus, Amen.