The sermon, 'Praising God Through Marriage Conduct' by Jason Dohm, explores 1 Peter 3:1-7, focusing on how Christian marriages can serve as a form of worship and proclamation of God's praises. It emphasizes the importance of a wife's submission to her husband, even if he is disobedient to the word, as an act of worship. The sermon highlights that true beauty is not merely external but stems from a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God's sight. It discusses the role of headship and authority within marriage, drawing parallels between a wife's submission and Christ's submission to God. The sermon also addresses the husband's role in honoring his wife, emphasizing that both spouses are equal heirs of the grace of life and should act in ways that exalt God. By conducting themselves in a manner that reflects the Gospel, Christian marriages can become a testimony to unbelievers, drawing them towards the light of Christ.

1 Peter chapter 3 verses 1 through 7. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be hidden, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered. Let's begin our time by going to the Lord in prayer. Our God, these are holy minutes whenever we open up the words that you've given to your people and consider them. God, now we desire to quiet ourselves in our hearts and to be before you, to be completely submitted under the authority of your holy word and to be worked on by the Spirit of God. Send your spirit to work on our hearts as your word is preached, O Lord.

We need the help of the Spirit. We acknowledge it. We ask you for it, knowing that you are a God who is willing, so predisposed to bless your people, and to be good and kind to them. We thank you for the confidence that we have in this in Jesus' name. Amen.

So the title of the sermon this morning is praising God through marriage conduct. There is behavior of a husband towards his wife and of a wife towards her husband that is designed by God to be worshiped, to be a form of proclaiming the praise of God. So let's trace Peter's flow of thought and how he brought us to this text. In chapter 2 verse 9, coming into chapter 2 verse 9, Peter has been talking about God redeeming a people, taking those who weren't a people who had not obtained mercy and giving His mercy, lavishing His mercy on them and making them into a people. And in verse 9, chapter 2 verse 9, God says why He did that.

That you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. That's why He gives mercy on the undeserving and takes people who aren't a people at all and makes them into His own special people. It's that they might proclaim his praises for snatching them out of darkness and bringing them into his marvelous light. Then in verse 12, He makes it clear that this praise isn't just lip praise. Now declaring the praises of God absolutely includes what we say with our mouth.

It includes our lips. But it's not just our lips, It's also our lives. The way that we live is one of the ways that we are to declare the praises of Him who called us out of darkness. Here's what he says in chapter 2, verse 12. Having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, among the unbelievers, that they may by your good works which they observe glorify God.

So the flow of thought is that God has taken undeserving sinners and given them mercy so that they would proclaim his praises. And one of the ways that the redeemed proclaim his praises is by having certain conduct that unbelievers can watch, can observe, and it leads to them glorifying God. Having done this, Peter begins to apply this to different spheres of life, different categories of life, and he starts with the civil government. How a redeemed person, how a Christian ought to relate to civil authorities. Civil authorities.

And then he does that and he moves on then to how a Christian person, how a redeemed person ought to relate to his or her master, to the person who owns his labor, owns the productivity of the hours of his or her day. And then having done that, Peter moves on again now to our text into how a Christian husband or a Christian wife, a redeemed husband or a redeemed wife ought to relate to his or her spouse in a way that brings about the praise of God, that it actually becomes worship. So this text, 1 Peter 3 verses 1 through 7, this text is about God being exalted, about God being worshiped, about God being praised through the conduct in our marriages, through how a Christian husband is going to relate to his wife, and through how a Christian wife relates to her husband. God wants to be praised by that conduct. He wants to be worshiped in marriage.

Let's look at verses 1 and 2. 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 1 and 2. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear." conduct accompanied by fear. So Peter says that a wife is to submit to her own husband. So this isn't a doctrine that teaches that all women submit to all men indiscriminately.

There is a particular man that God has said a woman should submit to and that is a man that she enters into a marriage covenant with. Wives are to submit with their own husbands. Peter says, wives likewise. In other words, remember what I said about how a Christian ought to relate to the civil government. It's like that.

Remember how I said that a servant ought to relate to his or her master. It's like that. Wives likewise in the same way. And so he's connecting the flow of thought here and saying that God is praised, God is honored, God is worshiped when a wife submits to her own husband. I mean that's obvious, but we should camp there for a minute.

Ladies, God is worshiped. God is honored. You proclaim God's praises when you submit to your own husband. God has built his universe. He made it.

It's his. He has every claim to it. God has built his universe on authority. He puts these structures of authority everywhere in his universe. And Peter has been walking us through different structures of authority and now he comes to marriage.

Now listen to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3. This is Paul in 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3. Paul says, but I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ. Every man has a head. So headship isn't just for women.

Every man on the earth has a head and that head is Christ. Paul continues, the head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God. So these different spheres, these different categories of life, and God has built headship and authority into every single one of these spheres. So a man has a head, and a woman has a head, and Christ has a head. The Lord Jesus Christ, co-equal member of the Trinity has a head.

This is stunning. Authority and headship extends even into the Godhead. Women, this should be your tip that Christian women have nothing to fear from teaching on headship and submission. Nothing. Not one thing to fear from the Bible's teaching on headship and submission.

The fact that Jesus Christ has a head and submits should tell you you shouldn't be afraid of this doctrine. Authority extends even into the Godhead. So wives, you're in good company. You're in company with your husband who has a head. You're in company with the Lord Jesus Christ who has a head.

Why does this need to be said? Why is Peter bringing us here to the marriage relationship and telling a wife, exhorting a wife, commanding a wife to submit because of Genesis 3, because of the fall? That's why it needs to be said. Listen to Genesis 3, 16. In Genesis 3, 16, God is articulating, stating the curse to Eve.

And Eve is standing there as your representative, women, because you're going to receive the curse that God is pronouncing on Eve. In other words, it applies to you today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life. Genesis 3.16. God says, Eve, your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you. God describes one thing that's going to characterize the marriage relationship, that she is going to have a desire for her husband and that he is going to rule over you.

Now if you haven't studied this much, you say, oh, she's going to have a desire for her husband. How wonderful. No, this is not the wonderful kind of desire for a husband. When you get to the very next chapter in Genesis 4, God comes to another person. It's not Eve this time.

It's Cain this time. And Cain is struggling with thoughts of murdering his brother Abel. And this is what God says to Cain in Genesis 4, verse 7. Cain, and if you do not do well, sin lies at the door and its desire is for you. Exact same Hebrew construction.

Sin's desire is for you, Cain, in the same way that the wife's desire is to be for the husband. The sin wants to dominate Cain. Sin wants to waylay and rule over Cain. And God concludes that by saying, but you should rule over it. So from start to finish there, that whole Hebrew construction is exactly the same in Genesis 316 and in Genesis 417 because God is communicating the same thing.

And so this is not a healthy desire for the husband. It's a very, very unhealthy desire to dominate and to rule over a husband. Because of the fall, conflict is built into the marriage relationship. And if you get married and you don't understand that, you are in for a world of hurt. Because you're not expecting it and you're surprised by it and you don't know that you'd better make war on this.

Ever since the first marriage, ever since the fall, conflict is built into the marriage relationship because the nature of man is corrupted. And it makes a wife have this kind of unhealthy desire for her husband, a desire to dominate him and rule over him. And for him to rule over her in an inappropriate and heavy-handed way that was never part of the design of God. Sad but true. Peter anticipates the question.

Even a bad one, even a bad husband, even a husband who's disobedient to the word, a wife is even supposed to submit to a husband like that? Peter says yes. Now look at the pattern that's been established, right? If we start In chapter 2 verse 13 where he's, Peter's talking about the believing citizen and the submission that ought to be rendered by a believing citizen to the government. Peter's writing to people who are under the rule of Nero.

Even, you're supposed to even submit to a bad one, a bad government, yes, even to a bad government. And then he goes to the servant master relationship in chapter 2 verse 18 and says that a believing servant owes submission to a master, even a bad master, even a bad one, yes, Even to a cranky master, an unfair master, a master who will beat you when you don't deserve it. You, the Christian servant, even owes submission to that kind of master. And now in chapter 3, verse 1, he brings this into the marriage relationship and says that a believing wife, a Christian wife, still owes submission to a bad one, to a bad husband, to a husband who is disobedient to the Word. So in each of these spheres, In each of these categories, the calling of God to the people that he has redeemed is one of radical taking up of the cross.

You cannot get around that. Can you wiggle out of that? I cannot come to this text and wiggle that. God is calling us to a radical taking up of the cross, kind of like what Jesus did. Who even though he was subject to complete injustice, took up his cross and saw it to the end.

The thrust of this is an unbelieving husband. I'm convinced. When I look at this carefully, I believe that the thrust, the primary application is to an unbelieving husband. Now, a Christian woman isn't supposed to marry an unbelieving man, but sometimes that happens. Sometimes she just sins and she doesn't.

Sometimes she thought he was a believer and he wasn't really a believer. Sometimes they were both unbelievers and then she gets saved and she finds herself married to a man who's not saved yet and he's an unbeliever. So the primary application, the thrust of what's being said here is for an unbelieving husband. Let me show you why I think that's true. Turn back to chapter two and let's look at chapter two verses seven and eight.

Because of the same Greek word that Peter uses in 3 verse 1, even though some do not obey, so the focus here being on do not obey, We see the same Greek word in verses 7 and 8. Verse 7, chapter 2 verse 7. Therefore, to you who believe, he is precious. But to those who are disobedient, same Greek word. And it's in contrast to those who believe.

You can also translate disobedient there to disbelief. In fact, some of the translations render that disbelief. It's a stubborn refusal to believe something that's reasonable. That's what this is. So disobedience is a good translation, but so is disbelief.

It's a stubborn unbelief. The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone and a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense. They stumble being disobedient, same Greek word, to the word which they also were appointed. So when we go back to chapter 2, it's crystal clear. It couldn't be more clear than you're talking about an unbeliever.

So I think it's legitimate. I think it's soundest to come to chapter 3, verse 1 and say the primary thrust here is a wife with an unbelieving husband. That said, there is no reason why we should restrict the application just to an unbelieving husband. Have you ever seen a hard-headed believing husband? Ever?

In the mirror? In the bed next to you? Have you ever seen a hard-headed Christian husband, a real believing husband, who is at a point in his sanctification where he's digging his heels in and resisting God and he's disobedient to the Word though he is a believer. This happens a lot. A lot of wives, Christian wives, live with husbands who fit that profile.

So Peter's primary concern isn't what's the state of their profession, even what's the state of their whole, of their soul, but are they obeying the word? So he's not trying to draw along the lines of saved, not saved. He's drawing along the lines of obeying, not obeying. God is praised. God is honored.

God is worshiped when a Christian woman, a redeemed woman, submits to her husband who is being disobedient to the Word. When she submits, even when she has a bad husband. That's the wrong way to say it. Especially when she has a bad husband. God is worshiped and honored and praised especially when a redeemed woman submits to that husband who is sinning.

Now are there limits to this? Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. Of course yes.

But Peter doesn't take us to the exceptions. Peter is pounding on the rule because he doesn't want women looking for the escape hatch, looking for the way out so they don't have to do what they're actually called by God to do. So yes, there are exceptions. When a husband imposes on a wife things that are a clear violation of his written word. I've chosen my words very carefully here.

To his written word. In other words, if you are saying, I don't have to submit to my husband here, don't tell me that God whispered something in your ear. Do not tell me that. You better be able to take me to a chapter and verse that says, This is forbidden by Almighty God in His revealed Word, and my husband is insisting that I do what God has forbidden in this chapter and in this verse. Or, Scripture demands this of me.

My husband says I can't pray. I may not pray. Well, that's different. You can go to the written word and say, God commands me to pray. I must pray.

I must obey God rather than men. But the exceptions are so few. Most even unbelieving, even stubborn, even in sin husbands aren't bold enough to do that. To require something of you that scripture forbids, or to forbid something that scripture commands you to do. Those are so rare, so Peter does not even go there.

Daughters. I want to look some daughters in the eye now, mine and yours. Girls and young women. Given that God demands this, does it matter who you marry. Given that God, after your marriage, after your covenant, after your vows, is going to hold you to this, submitting to that man, does it matter who you marry?

Don't you accept a man whose pattern of life isn't obedience. Or you are inviting sorrow into your life. Daughters, don't You dare accept a man whose pattern of life isn't obedience to Almighty God, who doesn't understand that he does have a head, and that head is Christ, and hasn't learned to obey him. Hasn't learned to obey him. Now, wives, you are not to leave a disobedient husband in that state.

You are given recourse by God. Win him. Win him. Play to win. Don't leave a husband who's disobedient to the word, who's stubbornly in disbelief, a Christian husband or an unbelieving husband who's in that state isn't to be left there by his wife.

She is to play to win him over to righteousness. How? Through your conduct. Through your conduct. Through your conduct.

Don't you dare try to impact that man into righteousness. Don't you dare try to nag your husband out of a state of disobedience. If you do, you're headed for frustration and tears. If you think that it's your job to verbally fix your husband and bring him out of the state of disobedience into righteousness, and that you're going to do that by nagging, though you would never put that label on it, then you're headed for frustration and tears. It takes the Holy Spirit of the living God to bring a man from a state of disobedience into a state of obedience.

If you were given a thousand years, you could never nag him from that state to this state. If you were given a thousand years and ten trillion words, you could never do it. It takes the spirit of God. And so a wife here is being called to leave room for the Spirit of God to act in the heart of her disobedient husband. Listen to Proverbs 27 verse 15.

Proverbs 27, 15, a Continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike Drip drip drip drip. I'll fix them. I'll fix them. I'll fix them On a very rainy day in other words, there's no hope that that drip is going away. The water just keeps coming.

Drip, drip, drip. That's the exact opposite of what God is calling his daughters to. By the way, the Proverbs says a lot about this. I just picked one. Wives, Peter counsels you.

Exert influence through chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Did you get that? Exert influence. He's not saying don't influence your husband. He's saying do influence your husband.

Don't leave him in that state of disobedience. Influence him through chaste conduct accompanied by fear. The ESV translates that respectful and pure conduct. All of that's good. It just gives you a broader range of the meaning.

Chaste conduct accompanied by fear or respectful and pure conduct. Peter says your husband is watching and he's right. Your husband is watching you. And when a husband watches this, when a husband observes this kind of respectful, pure conduct, and at the same time he's aware of his own rebellion and sinfulness and disobedience to the word. When that's the combination, watching this wife, pure conduct, respectful conduct, and at the same time, this growing awareness in his own heart that he's in rebellion, that he's in disobedience to the word, what's happening?

The pressure is building and the pressure is building and the pressure is building and the pressure is building in his soul. And a wife, when she sinfully harps on this husband turns the pressure relief valve. Okay, do you understand that? You want the pressure building on that disobedient husband. Here's how you do it.

You let God work on him about his disobedience to the word, about his rebellion. And you just pair that up with pure respectful conduct, and the pressure builds, and the pressure builds. But so many wives, because they're not patient enough, because they don't look to God enough, they don't trust God enough to deal with the heart of their husband, they release the pressure by beginning to sinfully harp on him, by trying to nag him out of a state of disobedience. And they let him off the hook. God had him on the hook.

God was convicting him of sin. And you were heaping coals on his head by blessing your enemy. Your husband is not really your enemy, but That's the application in marriage here. God had him on the hook. He was convicting him of sin, and you were making it worse for him.

But really better for him. By pure, respectful conduct. But then you went and gave him ammunition for self-justification. That's what's happening. Wives, you have to know that's what's happening.

When you Stop being patient and you don't trust God enough and you take it upon yourself to nag your husband out of a state of disobedience. You are giving him ammunition for his self justification. You're allowing him to say, but she, it's the wife that thou gave us to be. I love what Vodi Bakum says. Vodi Bakum says, wife, if you have a disobedient husband, God is going to take him out to the woodshed.

The only question is, are you going with him? Let God take your husband out to the woodshed. This is really what Peter's advocating. Let God take your husband to the woodshed. Don't go with him.

Now let's read verses three and four. First Peter 3, three and four. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. In verse 5, Peter is going to say this is how women who trust God adorn themselves.

This is how they do it. This is how women of great faith make themselves beautiful. And he's going to connect it to submission. So this is not a change of topic, okay? Make it really clear.

He started with submission. This is not a change of topic. This is the development of a topic. And you'll see that because we're coming to the other bookend in verses 5 and 6 that will make that so plain. A wife who can do this, A wife who can submit to even a bad one, even a bad husband, has a different kind of beauty, has a real beauty, has an inner strength that allows her to submit herself to this disobedient husband and it makes her beautiful.

Peter starts with the negative. Do not. There are things related to beauty that are to be avoided. So Peter starts there. Things he wants women to keep away from.

And here's the summary of it. External only beauty must be avoided. Ladies, External only beauty must be avoided. Ladies, external only beauty must be avoided. In other words, there is a brand of beauty that is outward only.

It's only on the outside and it's an ungodly beauty. This is what is being taught here. If the beauty is only skin deep, then it is an ungodly beauty. Listen to Proverbs 11 verses 22. It can never be stated more plainly than this.

Proverbs 11 verse 22. As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion. As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion. Now think about that word picture for a minute. Knowing what you know about pigs and how they live and what they smell like.

And there's nothing attractive about a pig. Now, take this gold piece, this pure gold, beautiful ornament and put it in the nose of the pig. Who cares? Doesn't upgrade that pig one little bit. It just seems so inappropriate.

Gold rings do not belong in a pig's snout. Peter warns about three things. First, he warns about the arranging of the hair. Then he warns about wearing gold, accessorizing with gold. And then he warns about putting on fine apparel.

This is not a prohibition of arranging the hair. It is not a prohibition of wearing gold. It is not a prohibition of wearing fine apparel. If you say it's a prohibition, then your position is it's a prohibition of wearing clothing and the lives of your neighbors are about to become more exciting. Because if you look in your Bible, if your Bible is structured like mine is, the word fine in fine apparel is in italics, meaning that it's not in the Greek.

It's the wearing of apparel. But because fine apparel gets more at the meaning when you know the Greek. They added that word in there. So if you think this is a prohibition of those three things, just know you're against the wearing of clothes. So here's a question, particularly for the women and the girls.

How much of your thought life goes to these three things? In other words, every minute, every waking minute is spent thinking thoughts. How much of that goes to your hair, your accessories, your clothing? How much of your time goes to those three things? How much of your money goes to those three things?

You see, This is a way to quantify our affections. There are those things that we say that we love, and there are those things that we think about, spend time on, and spend money on. And they ought to match up. The things that you say that you love ought to be the things that you think about and spend time on and spend money on. Is that true of you?

Or is it possible that when you quantify the affections by saying how much time do I spend thinking about these three things? How much time do I spend doing these three things? How much money, how much of my available money do I spend on these three things? It might show you that you really love these things more than you thought you did, more than you say you do. We spend our thoughts, and we spend our time, and we spend our money on the things that we love.

Pure and simple, period, end of sentence. If you love it, you think about it. If you love it, you spend time on it. If you love it, you spend money on it. Turn in your Bibles to 1 Timothy 2.

1 Timothy 2. So clothing, outward beauty, modesty are such incredibly vital issues in our day That you absolutely have to be able to go to 1 Peter 3 and 1 Timothy 2 at the drop of a hat without a concordance. Did you hear me? Learn that these two passages are about outward appearance and modesty because we need it. Because there's an avalanche in our day that will snow us under unless we know these two texts.

First Peter 3, you got to know modesty and focus on the outward is here and to go right there. 1 Timothy 2, the exact same thing. Learn these texts. Love these texts. Let's read 1 Timothy 2 verses 8 through 10.

1 Timothy 2 verse 8, I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting, in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for professing godliness, for women professing godliness with good words. Peter started with the negative. Do not, and then he gives his warning about these three things. The hair, the accessories, clothing. Paul actually starts with the positive.

And he says women adorn yourselves with modest apparel. Peter started with what not to do, Paul starts with what to do, and what to do is to adorn yourself with modest apparel. And he gives us the two elements of modesty that we should give our attention to. Here are the two elements of modesty that Paul gives us in 1 Timothy 2. Number one, not seductive.

Not seductive. Not trying to attract for all the wrong reasons. For all the wrong reasons. So that it covers and it doesn't draw the eyes to parts that were meant to be private. Okay, this is the first element of modesty, not seductive.

It covers and it does not draw the eyes. In other words, there's a way to cover without covering. It's too tight. You've put material over it but it's not modest. Where did he say that?

With propriety. Appropriate. It's appropriate. It's proper. It's with propriety.

In other words, it's not tempting others to sin. Ladies, you have to know when you violate this, you're tempting brothers in Christ to sin. There's a lot on the line here. It's unkind. It's unloving to brothers to dress without propriety, inappropriately.

Not covering all that should be covered or covering it in a way that still draws the eyes. It's unloving. Now, it doesn't mean that the Christian men don't have their own sins and are somehow off the hook. It doesn't mean that. God's talking about you and what you're doing and how you're dressing with propriety, not tempting to sin.

That's element number one of modesty. Element number two, not look at me centered. Not look at me centered. Where does Paul say that? With moderation.

With propriety and moderation. So you're not tempting others to sin by your dress and you're not tempting yourself to sin. Paul lists the same things, the hair, the accessories, gold and pearls, costly clothing. Paul and Peter are 100% in sync on these principles. Now what normally follows teaching on modesty is what are the rules?

Make some rules for me. No. Fathers, you make rules for your house. Women, you make rules for yourself. Women, be self-governing so that a husband or a father never has to say a word to you on this topic.

That is possible. You can be self-governing so that your standards are so in sync with the thrust of scripture on this topic. You don't have to have a husband who has to worry about you or a father who has to worry about you. How low can the neckline be? How high does the hemline have to be?

How tight can something be? No. Learn the principles from these texts and love them. And the hemlines and the necklines and the tightness will take care of itself. If you go in reverse orders and just make and apply the rules, you miss the heart of the matter.

The heart of the matter, and it involves hemlines and necklines and tightness, but the heart of the matter is not that. The heart of the matter is conduct that worships God. Your clothing conduct either adorns the gospel or is an obstacle to the gospel. Which will it be, ladies, when you dress? Paul says this is what is proper for women professing godliness, that you adorn yourself with good works.

You never tire of worshiping God with your life, worshiping God through your conduct. Peter agrees. Back to Peter now. Back to Peter. Peter agrees.

Proper adornment is not merely external. It is what, the hidden person of the heart? The inner woman is meant to be, is designed to be the fount of beauty. The inner woman is designed to be the fount of beauty. What in one sense no one sees ought to be the source of your beauty, but in another sense, everybody sees it.

Isn't this true? Don't you know this? In one sense, no one sees the source of inner beauty, in another sense, everybody sees it. Think of the Christian women that you admire the most for their godliness. They're beautiful to you.

And everybody sees that the source of their beauty is substance. It's not just the outside. It's substance. Those are beautiful women. The women that popped to your mind when I said, think of the women who you admire the most for godliness, you think of them as beautiful women.

And some of them may not have the external features that would cause the world to say they're Beautiful. Godly beauty is found in a gentle and quiet spirit. This is how godly women adorn themselves with a gentle spirit and a quiet spirit. This is a woman who trusts God. She has faith and so she has no need to be boisterous.

She trusts God. She knows God is moving around the atoms in the universe just like he wants to. And so she's not having to dominate situations by getting loud. She doesn't have to do that because she trusts Almighty God. She doesn't have to manipulate situations.

She's not a man in a woman's body trying to assert herself everywhere that she goes. She has a gentle and quiet spirit, and the godly look at her and say, she is gorgeous. She's beautiful. Listen to what Matthew Henry says. This isn't scripture, but This one is worth the price of admission, which since you didn't pay to get in isn't hard.

Matthew Henry says this, where the hypocrite's work ends, the true Christian's work begins. Where the hypocrite's work ends. In other words, the hypocrite is the faker. The one who's just putting on airs and it's only external and inside they're completely different than the outside. So when they're done, the hypocrite is done fixing her hair and accessorizing with gold and putting on costly clothing.

She's done. Matthew Henry says, a Christian woman is just getting started. When a Christian woman has made herself ready for the day, then the real things, the important things, the substantial things begin to happen, which is to be conformed into the image of Christ. Peter says this is very precious in the sight of God. God loves it.

Why does God love it? Because in this character of a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit. There is a woman who is declaring, I trust the Lord. Who is declaring, I care nothing for my own glory. That is the picture here.

A woman who is shouting through her dress and her appearance and the condition of her heart that she trusts God and she cares nothing for her own glory. For her own glory. Listen to Proverbs 31 verse 30. This is really the conclusion of the matter. Proverbs 31 verse 30.

Charm is deceitful And beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Young men, sons, Now I'm going to look you in the eye, speak to you. Most boys turn into young men turn into suitors who marry for charm and Beauty. Fools.

If you can get it all, get it all. Fine. There's your concession. If you can get godliness with charm and beauty, go for it. Don't you dare pass over godliness.

A woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit. Skip right over that and go for charm and beauty. You're a fool if you do that. And you set yourself up for a lot of heartache because she won't always look like that. You'll find her charm is deceptive.

And you'll find over a period of decades that the natural beauty fades. We're all going to be old and wrinkly if the Lord tarries and gives you a long life. And then you'll be wishing you married for substance, for godliness. And when you marry that godly woman, even when she gets older, you'll think she's really pretty. It's true.

The point is this, This is the kind of woman who can influence her husband with pure and respectful conduct. This is the kind of woman who can move her husband. Not the nag, not the one who handpacks, but a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit who is godly, who has godly beauty, she can move her husband. Verses 5 and 6. 1 Peter 3, verses 5 and 6.

For in this manner in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Peter gives us flesh and blood example of what he's talking about so that he can be sure we don't miss the point and think wrongly about it. He gives us a Bible example of what he's talking about and he gives us Sarah. He says that Sarah is part of this body, this group of women of former times, women of old, who trusted in God and who were beautiful this way.

And he says that they were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. Now, when you go to the one place in scripture where Sarah is calling Abraham Lord, you're going to Genesis 18. And when you go to that verse and you look it up, what you're going to find is when Sarah calls him Lord, she's not speaking. This is happening in her inner thoughts. It's the passage where she actually laughs in unbelief that God has said this old couple would have a child.

And she says in her heart, Can my Lord and I have this happen to us at this age? That's paraphrase. But it doesn't even come out of her mouth. In other words, this has seeped into her heart. This is the condition of her heart.

This cannot be shown because she doesn't say it with her mouth in Genesis 18. She says it to herself. She's not just outwardly submissive. She really has obtained this character quality So deep that this is how she thinks of her husband in her heart. She is submissive to him, really submissive to him.

Not just in a showy way, but even in the thoughts of her own heart. Now think about Sarah. Sarah is a spectacular example. Hebrews 11.8, this is the great faith chapter, Hebrews 11.8 says that Abraham left Ur of the Chaldeans, this place, his homeland, without even knowing where he was going. So there was a day in Abraham and Sarah's life where Abraham came to Sarai, her name hadn't been changed yet, and said, God says we have to leave.

Where are we going? I don't know. Somewhere else. She followed this man. We're leaving this place where we built our life, where the I's are dotted and the T's are crossed, and everything is in its place.

For who knows where, I'll follow you. This was Sarah, I'll follow you. I love you, I respect you, I trust you, I'll follow you. Think about Abraham's harebrained ideas. The two times where he says, say you're my sister so they don't kill me, come to mind.

I'll follow you. Sarah is a spectacular example of a woman who followed an imperfect man. Ladies, this is what God calls you to, to follow an imperfect man because that's the only kind of man that there is. And if you've got the best one, he's not very good. And God is calling you to follow Him.

Because there's someone on the other side of the man, we keep saying this in every sphere every week, there's someone on the other side of the man and it's God. And when you submit to this imperfect man, sometimes to this stubborn man, sometimes to an unbelieving man, sometimes to a man who is disobedient to the Word, when you submit to him, you are worshipping God. This is the point in every sphere, in every category where there is submission. There is always someone on the other side of the authority and the other, the one is God. And you worship him by submitting to the authority.

Now, one more thing before we leave Sarah. Think about the grace of God. Now think about what Peter is saying here and what that means. The inspired Peter, these are not his own words, these are the words that God has given him, every last word. The inspired Peter is praising Sarah.

Now what if you wanted to tear down Sarah? Could you find material? Sarah hatched the plan with Hagar, the maidservant, out of unbelief. Could you find some fodder for tearing down Sarah? Sarah was the one who laughed in disbelief when God says, I'll give you a baby, Sarah says.

But God praises her through an inspired. He overlooks. God has passed over the sins and shortcomings of this woman and he praises her. She is a woman who trusted Him, who finished well. And she's praised.

In spite of all the imperfections and the sins that could have been brought out and piled upon her head, God passes over that in 1 Peter and says, do like her because she trusted God. She was a fearless woman and she finished well. Think of the grace of God. Undoubtedly, you have the days that I have where you think, God can never think anything of me, but what an idiot. Not true.

In Christ, God is able to pass over the sins and imperfection and idiocy and say, that's my son, that's my daughter. That's even a worthy example. Keep repenting. Brothers and sisters, build a life of repentance. That's why Sarah is commended.

Even in spite of her imperfections and her sins, she keeps coming back to God. She keeps coming back to God. She trusts Him. She finishes well. God commends her.

Peter says, you are her daughters. You're like her. You're in her family tree if you do good and you're not afraid with any terror. This is why many women will not submit because they're afraid. They're afraid of many terrors.

But what if my husband never believes? But what if my husband never comes out of this state of disobedience. But what if we don't do that? But what if we don't do that? Meanwhile, they will not obey themselves.

Their fear drives them into sin. And it never had to be that way. Ladies, there are real fears that rise in your hearts. I do not deny it. It does not have to drive you into sin.

It does not. God is sufficient. God will sustain you. God will give you strength to obey. God will give you grace to submit to this imperfect man.

Obey him. Never be afraid to obey God. Never, ever, ever be afraid to obey God. It's always for your blessing. God's not trying to trick you into anything.

He has your good at heart. Verse 7, our last verse. Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. A husband is to honor his wife. Peter begins by saying, Husbands likewise, just like he did in verse 1 for wives.

Wives likewise, like all that I've been saying, this applies to you. Now he does the same thing in verse 7 for husband. Husbands likewise, all that I've been saying, it applies to you too. And here's how it ought to work itself out in your marriage. Honor your wife.

A husband honors and worships and praises God when he honors his wife. Every time, husband, you honor your wife, you're worshiping God. So you ought to honor your wife more so that you're worshiping God more. Peter says to Dwell with your wife with understanding. Dwell with her according to knowledge.

You did not marry a man. You married a woman. She's not the same as you. Women and men are not the same. So a man better not come bring conduct into his marriage like he's married to a man.

It needs to be with understanding. There's another gender that you're relating with here. She's a suitable helper. She's a suitable helper that God has joined you to, which makes her by definition different. She's a different kind of vessel, a weaker vessel.

Now, Peter does not say a weak vessel. He says the weaker vessel. And God, this is not a weakness to be despised in any way. It's a weakness to be honored. This is what the text says.

This is a weakness by the design of God for his own purposes to be honored. To be honored. He made a differential here. He didn't mess up by doing that. He did it perfectly.

Before the fall, this was true. One vessel weaker than the other by God's design for his glory, for his own purposes. We don't have time to develop that. But take time to think What are the advantages to this distinction? If you can't think of any, come talk to me.

I can think of a bunch. God's design, the disparity. Now is this the only disparity? No, there's a bunch. There's a bunch actually which you would say are in favor of the woman.

Peter's not talking about those, but they exist. So if you want to take every disparity and find out what to despise, you're not thinking right about God's design. Do you get that? If you want to take every disparity and find out what to despise, you're not thinking right about God's design. Do you get that?

If you want to take every disparity between men and women, every distinction, every difference and say, we need to despise one of these, then you're impugning God, who has made it that way. You're saying, he messed up to do that. No. God actually, In Christianity, in the faith, in God's design, weaker things are not despised, they're honored. This is why it's better to live in a country where Christianity has roots than anywhere else.

Because in Christianity, weaker things are not despised. Widows aren't despised. Orphans aren't despised and kicked to the curb. They're honored. They're cared for.

They're honored. They're cared for. Why? God made you heirs together of the grace of life. What does that mean?

Well one thing it means is you both bear the image of God. So when you sweep roles aside, the roles that God assigned to a husband, the roles that God assigned to a wife, when you sweep those aside you find equal people, both bearing the image of God. Roles don't come until Genesis 2. In Genesis 1, there's no mention of roles and you just have A man and a woman made in the image of God equals. And then God joins them together in one flesh and says, you have a life together.

You two have one life together. You're heirs together of the grace of life. And now Peter drops the hammer and says, husband, if you won't obey, if you won't honor this wife that God has given you, your prayers will be hindered. Don't be coming to God as if everything is okay and he ought to listen to you if you're not honoring your wife. And your wife.

Because you have married a daughter of the King of Kings. He is not a father-in-law to be trifled with. Christian women are God's daughters. And when you marry one of God's daughters, now think fathers, think about how you think of this and your own daughters. And the day some man comes and marries you and then mistreats your daughter, what's that going to be like?

Okay, now you're just a very imperfect shadow of the Heavenly Father, and you married one of his daughters. And he doesn't take kindly when his daughters are not well treated. So don't be coming before God expecting him to hear and honor your prayers when you've not honored this life. Turn in your Bibles to Ephesians 5. We're winding down fast.

Ephesians 5. We can't not go to Ephesians 5. In Ephesians 5, Paul talks about marriage. In 1 Peter, most of the text is given to the conduct of wives and a little bit is said in verse 7 about husbands. It's flipped in Ephesians 5.

Paul spends almost all of his time talking about husbands and a little bit speaking of wives. So it fills out the picture. Paul is actually expanding on everything that Peter has said in 1 Peter 3 verses 1 through 7. Ephesians 5 will begin in 22 and read through the end of the chapter. Paul says, Ephesians 5, 22, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. That he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church.

Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." When it says here at the very end, the wife respects her husband. The root of the word respects is the same root of the word fear in 1 Peter 3 verse 1. Remember, 1 Peter 3 verse 2. Chase conduct accompanied by fear. Same root for this respect at the end.

So, Paul and Peter are teaching the same thing, but when Paul further develops it he gets right to the heart of the matter, which is marriage is designed by God to be a sacred reflection of the Gospel. This is how marriage conduct worships God. This is how you're relating to your spouse is an act of worship, is proclaiming the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light because God has always intended and designed marriage to be a picture of the gospel to a world who will look on. And in the way the husband relates to the wife, in the way that the wife relates to the husband, unbelievers can look at that and say, wow, and God is praised. It's a sacred reflection of the gospel.

But what you get both in 1 Peter 3 and here in Ephesians 5, is that these duties are grounded in love, in love, in love. This submission is not some sort of mechanical, servile obligation on a wife. It's to be grounded in love, submission grounded in love. Wives is what you're called to. If you just get along with your husband and do what he says, that can be a million miles short of what it's called for.

A million miles short of what it's called for. It's submission that is grounded, it's flowing out of love. Husbands, your conduct towards your wife grounded in love. That's what the headship is. God has intended to love this daughter of his through you.

He puts you there as a source of joy, encouragement, leadership, provision, all these good things as a way to practically love his daughters. That's biblical headship. It's a beautiful picture. In closing, I want to say this. There are two layers that you have to see here, married people.

Here's the first layer. My conduct is an obstacle or an adornment to the gospel. My conduct, what I do, is an adornment or an obstacle to the gospel. It makes the gospel attractive or it makes the gospel repulsive? And our conduct.

This is the second layer. The first layer is me and my conduct. The second layer is we and our conduct. Together our conduct in our marriage, wife, beloved, Our conduct is either an adornment or an obstacle to the Gospel. It either makes the gospel attractive or repulsive.

Brothers and sisters, may it never be that an onlooking world of dying sinners would come in contact with our marriage and be repulsed by the gospel because of how we conduct ourselves. It should be so grieving for you to even think about the thought of an unbeliever coming into contact with your marriage and being repulsed towards the gospel. Because God has designed it to be exactly the opposite. That you may proclaim in your marriage the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Let's pray.

Oh Father, God I lift up particularly the marriages in this little church. God may our marriages adorn the gospel. May our marriages make the gospel so attractive to unbelievers who look on. May they secretly desire the gospel, even though they hate it on so many other levels. May they look at our marriage and desire the gospel.

Oh God, show a reflection of Christ and His Church and how they ought to relate to one another through marriages that are built to honor you. Would you give us this Lord? We ask in Jesus name, amen.