Scott Brown's sermon, 'If You Want to Love Life and See Good Days,' addresses the destructive power of gossip and the importance of controlling one's tongue. He references multiple biblical texts, including James, 1 Peter, Ephesians, and Proverbs, to illustrate how the tongue can either be a source of life-giving fruit or a consuming fire. Brown emphasizes that the tongue reflects the state of one's heart and cautions against the sins of the tongue, which can unravel relationships, displease God, and lead to judgment. He encourages believers to use their tongues for edification, truth, and love, and to avoid gossip and slander. Practical steps are offered to help individuals and church communities manage their speech, such as recognizing gossip, stopping conversations that lead to slander, and holding each other accountable. Brown concludes by highlighting the importance of embracing the Gospel to understand one's own sinfulness and to avoid diminishing others through gossip.

So this morning, Scott Brown will be preaching on the subject of gossip. And there's not just one sermon text that he'll be referring to, so I'm going to read a bunch of sermon texts. So get your Bibles out and turn to the book of James. We're going to start with James 1, but then I'm going to read the whole chapter of James 3. So James 1, verse 26, says, If anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, This one's religion is useless.

James chapter 3, and brothers and sisters, as we read these verses, and some of these may get a little long, I would encourage you focus on what we're talking about this morning, gossip. As I've read these, thinking specifically about gossip, many fresh things are jumping out of the page to me. I pray the same thing happens to you as we read this. James chapter 3, starting in verse 1 to the end of the chapter. My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.

For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships. Although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires.

Even so, the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles? And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature, and is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird and of reptile and creature of the sea is tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no man can tame the tongue.

It is an unruly evil full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?

Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh. Who is wise and understanding among you, let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." Our next text is the book of 1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter chapter 3, starting in verse 8 through 12. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tender-hearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

For he who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." Turn now to Ephesians chapter 4.

We're actually going to read through to the 12th verse of chapter 5. So, Ephesians chapter 4, starting in verse 29 through chapter 5. 12. Ephesians 4. 29.

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another just as God in Christ forgave you. Chapter 5. Let all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints, neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

For this you know that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man who is an idolater has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them, for you were once darkness, but now are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light. For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth, finding out what is acceptable to the Lord, and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.

For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret." So finally turn to Proverbs chapter 6. Proverbs says a lot to say about the tongue. I'm going to read from Proverbs 6, 12 through 19. Proverbs 6, verse 12 through 19. A worthless person, a wicked man, walks with perverse mouth.

He winks with his eyes, he shuffles his feet, he points with his fingers. Perversity is in his heart. He devises evil continually. He sows discord, therefore his calamity shall come suddenly. Suddenly he shall be broken without remedy.

These six things the Lord hates. Yes, seven are an abomination to him, a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren. Holy Father God, this morning we rejoice that you have given us a sure word. Lord, our words are often unstable, but your word is eternal truth. And in this we rejoice this morning.

Lord, this message may be one of the most practical, self-abasing, and convicting things that we encounter. Lord, because our tongues sin so often, this may be the most common sin that we commit. And Lord, this morning I pray that you would give us humble hearts before you, that your Word would speak mightily, that you would convict us of sin, and that we would delight in walking through true repentance as we hear the Word preached this morning. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen. It's always difficult to speak on this subject.

It's not difficult because the subject matter is hard to grasp, or that any of the texts are hard to understand what they mean. It's not difficult exegetically, it's not difficult to fit things in theologically, it's not difficult at all in that way, but it's always difficult because it's so convicting, because it is true that we all stumble in many ways. So it is difficult to read about yourself in the scriptures. The scriptures tell the story of your life, and when it comes to the government of the tongue, what the scriptures say are always true. And at least for me, and I know my friends are the same way, it's also always very convicting and difficult to face the reality of the use of our tongues.

So this whole subject of the government of the tongue, I've titled this message, If You Want to Love Life and See Good Days, because I think there's so much there. What we know from the Scripture is that the tongue is a fire, or it's a tree of life that bears fruit. It's one of those two things. I pray God would give us a church where more and more we're learning how to use our tongues as a tree of life, bearing fruit rather than a fire that burns. The Bible says that the tongue condemns and it justifies.

It causes, it curses or it blesses. It destroys or it establishes. It's death or it is life. That's what the Bible says about the tongue. And you know, in God, in His perfect wisdom, has chosen the word fire and its whole concept to describe the nature of the tongue.

And he says that fires start small with a spark, but then they grow and once the firestorms start, they're hard to stop and the damage is irreversible. You know, the recent Colorado mega fires that swept that state, you know, brought us visions of little sparks in campfires or on stoves, turning into, you know, just people evacuating, you know, home destroying, you know, community, really community destroying kinds of fires, just engulfing them in these gigantic self-generating firestorms that could not be stopped. And you know, in the reports from the battle lines of those fires, you'd hear stories of dropping retardant on the fire, and they would say, well, this fire is only 5% contained. That fire is only 16% contained. That one is, you know, 80 percent contained.

I mean, the question we should always ask is how are the fires of your tongue contained? Five percent, 20 percent, 50 percent. You know, we all stumble in many ways. I don't think anybody here is 100% contained. That's my assumption.

You know, the satellite photos from space show the scars from those fires in Colorado. And just like the damage from the tongue, the scars are viewed from heaven. So it's a very serious matter. Now today, today what we hope to do is to be dropping, you know, fire retardant on our tongues. And James, you know, chapter 3 really asks a question of us that we should be very careful to ask with all honesty.

And that is, how do we as a church avoid being a forest like that? How do we as individuals in this forest of the church that we are a part of not become kindled like that? Are we dry wood that a spark will light on fire? Let's don't be a forest that's ready to go up in flame. And we don't have to be.

That's the good news. And so the fact is that people who like to start fires, we have a word for them. Arsonists. So I think, you know, what level of containment is there? Is there the heart of an arsonist, you know, in our tongues?

And the truth is that often It is that way. So let's not be the kind of individuals who speak evil of others and have a life of destroying other people by the dainty morsels that we draw. Or let's not be a church with the kind of families who raise up a poison culture of evil-speaking people at the dinner table and riding in the car. Let's not have marriages where husbands and wives are always defiling one another by bringing up destructive conversations about other people that go nowhere except to just further discouragement and defamation of other people. I mean, I think we have to be honest.

As a church, we've gone through a season of more conflict than ever over the last five months. And there have been, the sin has come to the surface. There have been disagreements. We even had a situation where of the three elders, there was actually a difference of opinion among those elders And we had to grapple with that. So we've just come through a period of significant pressure.

And whenever there's pressure, there's always a great opportunity to sin with our tongues. Several families have actually left the church as a result of the problems, as a result of the various disagreements that we were having in the church. And it really matters, you know, how we handle our tongues. This message is not about blaming anyone who left this church. It's really the talk that we who are here and how are we governing our times.

You know, when you think about the purpose of everything that God has given, you have to think about the purpose of the time. Why did God give you a mouth? Well, there are actually several reasons, very important. God created the mouth for a particular purpose, and one of those purposes is that He meant it to be put into His own service. He made it to sing praises to him.

He created the mouth to give thanks, to preach the Gospel, to speak the truth in love, to comfort, to season like salt. He gave the tongue to bring proper rebukes and wisdom. He gives the tongue for many things. He made it to kiss a wife or a husband or a child thousands of times in their lifetime. He gave you a mouth for a purpose, to bring blessing.

He said actually that you were created for a blessing. And so that he who desires to love life and see good days, let him recognize that this is one of the purposes of the tongue, because it's the blast. It's the primary purpose of the tongue. And so it's important that we recognize that just speaking about the negative side of the tongue doesn't really get the whole subject because there's a vast landscape of beautiful fruits that the tongue is meant to produce. We could spend all of our time just talking about the positive use of the tongue And I really, that's what I wanted to do.

As I read the scriptures, I realized none of these texts allowed me to do that. They always had to give sort of both sides of the story, or at least most of them did. But here's the reality that I think we all ought to grapple with in our hearts, in all of our conversations with our families, our friends, and that is this. The tongue is either a fire that destroys or it's a fruit tree that has good things to eat on it. And that's, I don't know, I mean I think that kind of sums it up.

OK, let's go home now. Let's enter into discussion time. Your tongue is either a fire or it's a fruit tree at any given moment. Richard Alistree, an English Puritan, wrote on this subject in a book that he wrote called The Government of the Tongue. By the way, the Puritans, Puritan writers had incredibly specific, practical, helpful things written on the tongue like you won't find in any other era of history.

Richard Baxter, Richard Alastry, Thomas Nanton, a number of English Puritans wrote really phenomenally helpful things on the tongue. And Richard Alastry calls the tongue an uncircumcised Philistine. And the only way that God can deal with the massive armor, as he calls it, of such a formidable enemy, is to go and get stones from the brook of scripture and put them in the sling and hurl them at that uncircumcised Philistine. And so we're going to deal with that uncircumcised Philistine today that lives in our mouths here. We have to recognize that our problems with the tongue go way back.

Original sin generated from the smooth talk of a serpent. The sin in the garden was launched through a poisonous, fire-breathing tongue of the devil. The devil was slandering the name of God, pretending that God was neither wise nor good. And every slander after him does the exact same thing and follows in his footsteps, speaking so sweetly, so smoothly, appealing to things so reasonable. And yet, He's the accuser of the brother and when he tries to say that God is not good.

Spurgeon said it this way, don't be the devil's bellows any longer. He said once a man gets in your bad book, it barely ever gets completely out of it. And that's a real problem with our tongues. We've put so many people in somebody else's bad book, And we'll be held accountable for doing so. Because once somebody gets in your bad book, the badness never completely goes away.

Because slander goes down into the innermost being and it defiles and there it burns and smolders. It may be restrained through love and other things like that, but it's very difficult to get the bad name out of the book. OK, let's talk about the importance of this subject. I'm going to give you several points. First of all, life and death are in the power of the tongue.

That's how important this subject is. Proverbs 18.21 says, death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit. Remember, remember the tongue is either a fire, it's either death or it's a tree of life. It's fruit. You see that, That same kind of pattern all over scripture.

Now, I don't think that we think enough of this sin. There are some sins that we think a lot of, adultery, murder. But we don't think of the adulterous and murderous words that are at heart exactly the same. It represents more sin in the heart. It's the tip of an iceberg.

Life and death are the power of the tongue. You know, we've been just going through the Gospel of Matthew. You realize how much in Matthew is spoken of about the tongue. There's the talk about when men use their tongues against you. Blessed are you, and men revile and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you falsely.

For my sake, rejoice and be exceedingly glad. That's what you should do when you're slandered." How hard is that? Using your tongue is meant to be for the purpose of teaching the commandments of God. Matthew 5 19 says, Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever does and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven." So the idea is someone is doing something with their tongue, they're teaching the law of God, and then they are called something.

It's about speech. Matthew 522 speaks about the words that you say to your brother, but I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, Raqqa, shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, you fool, shall be in danger of hell fire." I don't think we think enough of this sin. Matthew chapter 7 verses 4 through 5 talks about telling your brother about the speck that is in his eye.

Or how can you say to your brother, how can you say that? Let me remove the speck from your eye. It's just, it's audacious to think that you should say something like that to your brother when you have a log in your own eye. In Matthew chapter 12 verses 31 to 34, we learn that the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is actually a sin of the tongue. In Matthew chapter 12 verses 36 to 37, we learn about the dangers of idle words, where the Lord says, but I say to you that every idle word that men speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.

For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. In Matthew chapter 15, verses 7 through 11, there's this analysis, analysis of what comes out of your mouth. Hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying, These people draw near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. In vain they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men. When he called the multitudes to himself, he said to them, hear and understand, not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.

So even in our own studies in the Gospel of Matthew, we see the importance of this subject, that it ranges across a number of very critical issues that are important to us. So The first reason that it's such an important issue is that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Secondly, the use of the tongue is really, and its analysis is really rooted in the moral law of God. The ninth commandment gives two issues about the tongue. Do not bear false witness that has to do with the truth against your neighbor that has to do with love.

Truth and love. These are two critical, repeated kinds of concepts that you see in Scripture about the tongue. And we learn that the sins of the tongue are, they rage against the law of God, which as it turns out is the love of God. The law of God is the love of God. You can't separate them.

Every law is a law of love. So when one breaks the ninth commandment, he's actually broken a law of the law That's why James says do not speak evil of one another brethren in chapter 4 verse 11 he who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother speaks evil of the law and judges the law but if you judge the law and are not a doer of the law but a judge but it's this whole matter of judging the law if you if you if you speak evil of another you are judging the law and how does that work well the whole law is summed up in love, and if you speak evil, you're slandering the law by judging that the law is bad. Slander is a particular sin of those who despise the law. You'll find some of the meanest people who are antinomians. And there's a reason, because they judge the law as evil, when it's actually good.

It's a law of love. And so they have difficulty obeying those parts of the law that are meant to govern the tongue. So they are judging the law and its restraints as evil. They do not want the restrictions on them and it shows up in their use of the tongue. They don't want God to tell them anything.

They do not want the law. And because of their disposition toward the law, they naturally do not want God to control their tongues either. Either they are judging the law and have forgotten that the law is for love. And that's what the ninth commandment is, the law of love. You don't want to be judging the law by slandering your neighbor, because that's what we do when we do that.

So it's rooted in the moral law of God. Thirdly, the sins of the tongue unravel the structure of happy relationships. Now, the whole foundation of the universe is, I think, at least partly summed up by this word, oneness. And that is that you have the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit who are one. They are unified and It is out of their oneness that everything ought to flow.

So in other words, the unity that you see in the Trinity is the unity that you should have in your marriage, the unity that you should have in your family, the unity that you should have in your church. All happy relationships flow really from God. You learn from God how to be a husband. You learn from God how to be a son or a daughter. Because you are, through honor and obedience and love, a mixture of those things, you are bound together in unity.

And so the doctrine of the Trinity is one of the most important arguments for the right government of the time, because of the relationships of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit forming an example for all human relationships. And so the purity and the perfection of the relationships here in the Trinity are absent of dishonor, absent of evil speaking, absent of backbiting, any rebellion or anything that would destroy their unity. That's why dishonor in a child's heart is so bad, because it completely contradicts the whole nature of God. And so you have the oneness between the Father and the Son and the Spirit. You have the oneness between the husband and the wife and children and parents and all of these things.

Even down to the whole relationships in the church. Church members are commanded to preserve the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. Church members and their leaders ought to be, their relationships ought to be characterized by honor and obedience and submission. That's how unity is preserved. And to destroy oneness is really to destroy the whole fabric of the universe.

That's why division is so bad. Unrighteous division is so bad. So not only are the sins of the tongue unraveling of the structure of happy relationships, the sins of the tongue will be dealt with in the coming judgment. So what you say matters. Matthew chapter 12 makes it very clear that you'll be judged for your words and particularly idle words.

In our confession of faith, the Baptist Confession in paragraph 1 in chapter 32 on the last judgment. We read, God has appointed him, and he will judge the world in righteousness by Jesus Christ, to whom the power and judgment is given of the Father, in which day not only the apostate angels shall be judged, but likewise all persons that have lived on the earth shall appear before the tribunal of Christ to give an account of their thoughts, words and deeds, and to receive according to what they have done in the body whether good or evil so the our words will be judged so it's very important what we say it is true that the tongue can have you sent to hell. It's set on fire by hell, every word will be judged, and all you need, I think, to be cast into hell is one false word. One day in the life of our tongues is probably enough to condemn the whole body. Were it not for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, His blood shed on the cross, to take the punishment for all of our idle words and wrong words.

We would be condemned to hell. Just on the use of our tongues alone. So it's a very important issue. The next reason it's important is that the sense of the tongue express themselves in a multitude of ways. Richard Baxter gives 30 examples of how you sin in speech.

I'll read a few of them. Blasphemy, teaching false doctrine, false application of true doctrine, deriding of serious godliness, forbidding Christian ministers to preach the gospel, profane swearing, perjury, lying, hypocritical representation of self, proud-boasting, Unreasonable speaking of common things when holy things should be spoken of. Tempting others to sin, idle talk, and a multitude of useless words. Handling the word of God in a carnal playful manner, imprudent rash and slovenly handling of holy things, reviling and dishonoring of superiors, imperious contempt of inferiors, foolish talk, ingesting, filthy speaking, cursing of others, slandering, backbiting, speaking, evil of another, stirring up discord, cheating others by defrauding neighbors in bargaining for their own gain, falsely accusing the innocent, passing an unrighteous sentence, flattering and deluding men about the state of their souls, jeering, mocking, deriding, or scorning others, idolatry or false worship. So the sins of the tongue express themselves in a multitude of ways.

It's not just one way to sin with your tongue. There are so many ways to sin with your tongue. And then, sixthly, it's an important issue because the Lord hates gossip. There are six things which the Lord hates, yet seven are an abomination to him. Three of them that are in the list are related to the tongue.

So these six things, and then one more, seven, The sins of the tongue can disqualify. They can disqualify a widow from support of the church in 1 Timothy 5.13. They can disqualify a deacon if his wife is a slander in 1 Timothy 3, 8 through 11. So the sins of the tongue are important to consider because life and death are in the power of the tongue, it's rooted in the moral law of God, the sins of the tongue unravel the whole structure of happy relationships, The sins of the tongue will be dealt with in the coming judgment. The sins of the tongue express themselves in a multitude of ways.

The Lord hates gossip and slander, and the sins of the tongue can disqualify people. So it's an important issue. Now the second point I'd like to make, as you see on the outline, is the process of thinking that we should engage in when we consider the tongue. Now there's so much in Scripture written about the government of the tongue. And one of the characteristics of the preaching of the Puritans and their writing, and I'm assuming, you know, their blogging and their tweeting and their webcasting, they did certain things, you know.

They were, They would first begin with a critical text. They would begin with a text that was defining. And then after dealing with those fundamental questions, they would explode the discussion from Genesis to Revelation and then work through the Bible that way in order to explain all the nuances and and and this is why at the beginning of the service there were several passages that were read. I would just like to suggest those are some of the really bedrock defining passages that raise all the basic issues, at least principally. And then you see them spoken of in different ways in the rest of scripture.

So those texts really can be sort of like, you know, jet streams to other texts to help you understand what's there. So we begin with the general and then we move to the more specific. Now, let's begin in James chapter one, verse 26, with a very general principle that is so critical and foundational to the whole discussion. Now, it really, this verse just speaks volumes of what the use of your tongue tells about you. James 1.26, if anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless.

Now, James is one of those really critical books that raises some fundamental issues and the instruction that exists here, you know, exists in the whole context of the teaching of James. Now, the message of James is that it isn't that an intellectual religion is not a saving religion. A notional religion is not a saving religion. It's not enough to believe the factoids of the Gospel, because faith without works is dead. And if anyone says he has faith but these other things prevail, he should question, he should question himself, because it is not, A notional religion is not a saving religion.

An intellectual assent does not save. So this here is written to the person who thinks he is religious. If anyone thinks he is religious, so this would apply to all of us. Do we think that we are religious? If you answer yes to that question, then you can go on.

Do you think you are religious? And here's a person though, in whose opinion, his own opinion is religious. He thinks he is religious, but he has a condition, and that is his tongue is unbridled. A bridle is something that constrains, it's something that guides, like a bridle of a horse, or as James says, a rudder in a ship takes it wherever it wishes. And the unsaved religious person sees no connection between his tongue and his life.

So if anyone says he is religious or thinks he's religious, then he has, and his condition is that his tongue is unbridled, then he has a state of mind that's very dangerous. He is deceived. You see that? He deceives himself. And his status as a religious person is also dangerous because it says his religion is useless.

It's not being put into practice at all. And it all rests on whether he's bridling his tongue or not. And so saving faith is shown in saved speech. Now, to the degree that saving faith is existent is the degree that our tongues are bridal. To the degree that there is sanctification determines the degree of whether our tongues are speaking in sanctified ways.

We're not talking about perfection because we all stumble in many things. And So we're not talking about absolutes here. We're not talking about this idea that you will never sin with your tongue again. The scriptures just don't bear that out. Because the letters to the churches, the letters to saved people include admonitions for how to deal with their uncontrolled tongue.

So this basic principle here is in James chapter 1. And then if you go to James chapter 3, You see the terrible dangers of the tongue, and it's there where we read, the tongue is a little member, but it boasts of great things. The tongue is a fire. See how great a forest is kindled by such a small thing. And it's a world of iniquity.

It says so many terrible things about your tongue. It just is not very flattering to your tongue. And then this other text, 1 Peter 8, verses 8 through 12, he who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, for the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. So there's this concept in 1 Peter 8 of the way that the tongue is used for blessing. And then in the third text that we read was Ephesians 4, 29 through 5, 12.

Here is a text that speaks about what it looks like when the tongue is under the influence of the Holy Spirit. When a person is filled with the Spirit, he'll speak in a certain way. He speaks in Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing, making melody in his heart to the Lord. And corrupt words are not coming from his mouth. Bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking are not there.

Why? Because there's this heart's desire to be an imitator of God and to walk in love. And then in this next text in Proverbs, chapter 6, there's six things which the Lord hates. So I think when you study this subject, it's helpful to go to some of the critical longer texts and then begin to work through the details beyond that. When you go to the text in Ephesians, you have to ask yourself, Is my speech corrupt?

Is it harmful? Is it tearing down a person rather than building them up? Is it grieving the Holy Spirit? Is there bitterness in it? Is there wrath in it?

Is there any anger in it? Is there any clamor in it? Is there malice? You say, how do I know if I'm gossiping? Well, you know when there's wrath and anger and clamor in your heart.

There's a difference in talking about an issue when there's sin in your heart. And I think we know when we're doing that, when we have ill intent. How do you know when you're gossiping? You know when sinful things are in your heart, and you're the only one that can know. These are secret sins.

They're not perfectly detectable by outsiders. But the truth is this, the tongue is either a fire that destroys or it's a fruit tree that feeds. That's the issue. There are a number of issues here that I want to bring up. I've got several of them that I'd like to raise.

The first issue is this. Good speech comes from a good heart and bad speech comes from a bad heart. If you want to know why you do what you do and say what you say, you have to recognize that it comes from a source. It means that you've not been nourishing the words of faith. You've been drinking in destructive things, evil things.

You know, God works from the inside out. It's a work that begins in the heart, and what comes out of your mouth tells yourself and the world what is in your heart. That's why we ought to sing that Psalm, Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Because it's out of the heart that flow the well springs of life. So this first issue is that good speech comes from a good heart and bad speech comes from a bad heart.

And it'll either come out like a fire or it'll be like a fruit tree. And then the second issue is this, that there are troubles. There are troubles that come upon those who misuse their tongue. Here, I'll just read you the words of Richard Baxter. Your discord will be your pain.

Like a bile or a wound, it will fracture your own bodies, which will pain you till it is cured. You will hardly keep peace in your minds when peace is broken so near in your family. Your discord will be your pain." This is we'll talk about this in a few moments, gossip in the family between family members, But this is such an insidious result. And that is that there are troubles that come upon those who misuse their tongues. There are many instances in scripture which speak of this, but the tongue is either a fire or it's a fruit tree of life.

The third issue is family gossip. This is perhaps, I think, one of the most critical issues because it's so far-reaching. Gossip in the home multiplies gossipers in the church and in the business and in the community. They multiply, they just multiply like flies and they just fan out and they have more offspring. You know, you've heard of generational faithfulness.

This is unfaithfulness generationally and it's so critical. You know the culture of your home ought to be guarded from this. You husbands it's your responsibility as heads of these households to guard your family from a culture of evil speaking about other people. You're the one that stands between heaven and the rest of your family as one who will be held responsible for either shutting down or nourishing evil speaking in your house. Psalm 50 verse 20 speaks of this tragic situation.

You sit and speak against your brother. You slander your own mother's son." That's gossip in the family. Husbands and wives have to be very careful. Husbands and wives, yes, they can gossip. Marriage is not a gossip-free zone.

In other words, you're not just free to say anything. You're never free to say anything you want in any relationship at all. And The rules of the government of tongue also apply in a marriage as well. And often husbands and wives stir one another up because they think that somehow they can speak about everything. And They haven't thought that that's actually disobedience to scripture, that they have responsibilities for one another.

We could talk about children who are allowed to speak evil of one another and to one another. And parents who allow that, who allow a poisonous culture between children, where they do not receive punishments, give them a small punishment now so that they do not stand at the judgment seat and be condemned by their words because you were a negligent parent, because you didn't care enough about their souls to stop them and bring to them punishments severe enough to stop it if they won't stop. We could speak about the dinner table. We could speak about the rolling of the eyes of a husband or a wife about someone else, a boss, a pastor, a friend, another family member. You know, isn't it amazing how every family has some really quirky people in the family?

Of course, those quirky people are always the other people in the family. But we often forget that we are often the quirky people, that they're rolling their eyes at, that we've rolled our eyes at. And it's just an endless pattern of destruction. It's a fire that just keeps on burning. Instead of a place of covering over them, speaking the truth and love, forgiving one another, having mercy on one another, or merciless eye rollers at the dinner table.

The fourth issue, how should we talk about, how should we talk with others about divergent doctrinal positions, right? How should we talk to one another or about one another when there is a disagreement or a difference in perspective? I mean, my experience is it's usually not the doctrine that's the problem, it's the disposition that's the problem. And that's what creates all the trouble. Because people somehow cannot love one another and figure out how to disagree.

I face this every week, you know, preparing to preach. I read ten commentaries on the text. Believe me, some of them disagree. I don't hate all the commentators. I don't.

They have different perspectives. I'm learning. They were learning too. It's a long life. And there's a lot to learn.

I'm really confident. I'll be on my deathbed and I'll be saying, Debra, bring that book over here. I need to learn that. I don't know that well enough. So how do we deal with others in their doctoral reviews?

I'm just going to give you a few words that can't be developed, but I'm going to give you sort of the headings. Number one, personally. Number two, patiently. Number three, with historical perspective, not hysterical perspective. Number four, humility.

Number five, with inquiry, and there was asking questions. Number six, with clarity, meaning you have your Bibles open. Often some of the most engaging discussions have Bibles closed and minds open, but that's reversed of how it ought to be. Bibles ought to be open and then the mind can deal properly. The fifth issue really has to do with receiving bad reports that are true or false.

I really encourage you to read Richard Baxter on this. I think he writes best about this subject. Now, receiving a bad report that is either true or false. Now, some people think they're obligated to bring a bad report to people. And Baxter says that that's completely false.

For example, you know things about your parents. You know you have some bad reports. But you shouldn't be sharing those things with people. You know some things about your children. You shouldn't be telling everyone about the bad traits of your children.

And neither should you do with your brothers and sisters. Somehow we think that we're obligated to bring bad reports when we hear them. That's not consistent with scripture at all. The whole structure of honor and mercy raged against that whole idea. When your brother is caught in a trespass, then you go to your brother.

Relation 6.1. It's a very big subject, but should you pass on true reports that are damaging to others? Only in a certain classification of circumstances should that ever be done. How should you respond? This is the next issue I want to deal with.

How should you respond when someone begins to speak evil of someone? How do you respond when the deity morsel is beginning to come out of your friend's mouth. What are you supposed to do? I'm going to give you six steps. Because here's the truth.

You've got to take action. You cannot just sit there like a bump on a log. You have to take action. And this is what we often do. We act like jellyfish when this begins to happen.

And How do you respond? Number one, six steps. Carefully and accurately diagnose the situation. You have to put the right name on what's happening. Proverbs 16-28 says, a perverse person stirs up dissension.

A perverse person stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. You have to put the right name on this. This is a perversion in a person. It might actually be a perverse person, and you had better put the right name on it. You don't want to pet the snake.

Proverbs 16, 28 says, a perverse person stirs up dissension, and they separate friends. You have to recognize what is happening. Wake up. I think that's the idea. You have to carefully and accurately diagnose the situation.

James 5, 9 says, do not grumble against one another lest you be condemned. Behold, the judge is standing at the door. This grumbling is going to bring judgment And the judgment is standing at the door. You have to diagnose what's happening. You have to recognize that this isn't just some nice person saying something.

This is going to bring condemnation and judgment. To grumble means to sigh or to groan. You know how that works. It isn't always the direct frontal attack of poisonous speech. It's often just like a groan.

It seems so sunny, so acceptable. Proverbs 10, 18 says, whoever spreads slander is a fool. So you're dealing with a fool. How often have we been fools? You're also dealing with someone who destroys love, James 411.

Do not slander one another, anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. That's why, you know, Proverbs 18-21 says the tongue has the power of life and death. The tongue is a fire. You also may be dealing with a false witness. Proverbs 6-12 says, a worthless person, a wicked man who goes around speaking dishonestly, who winks his eyes, signals with his feet, and gestures with his fingers.

He might be a worthless person who just has these subtle ways of dishonoring other people. But you have to properly diagnose the situation. You're dealing with someone who is separating close friends, a perverse person. You're dealing a grumbler who will be condemned, you may be dealing with someone who's lying, you are dealing with someone who's destroying love, you may be dealing with a false witness who the Bible calls a worthless person. So when that begins to happen you have to get your wits about you.

That's maybe the hardest part. Right at the beginning you've got to get your wits about you. And you have to recognize how slanderers operate. They operate in such a winsome way. They're often seeking prayer.

Oh, have you heard? And then The dainty morsel is going down, never ever to be completely erased again. But they operate in such a nice way. Can I tell you something in confidence? Please don't pass this on.

It was so sad, I can't tell you the details, but I guarantee you some things happened that just weren't right. And now, in your book, in your book of people, the erasure will not be completely possible, no matter what is real about that person's reputation. Please don't tell them I said this. The slander operates in such smooth, socially acceptable ways, acceptable issues. So it's important that you carefully and accurately diagnose the situation Because that will get your soul ready to do the right thing.

If you don't understand what's happening, you will not do the right thing. And you know what you'll do? You'll do what I've done many times. A few minutes or a few hours later you'll say if only I had if only I had shut that down and not listen to it. So the first step is Carefully and accurately diagnose the situation.

Number two, the second step. Drive it away. Drive it away. Proverbs 25, 23 is helpful. The north wind brings forth rain and a backbiting tongue and angry countenance." So you meet the backbiting tongue with an angry countenance.

That's what the Bible tells us. This is being angry and not sinning. Let me, I'll read John Gill's commentary on this verse. The angry countenance drives it away, discourages and silences it. When a man puts on a stern countenance, a frowning and angry look on such who bring him slanderous reports and idle tales of their neighbors and reproach and backbite them, it checks them.

It puts a stop to their practices, whereas listening to them and especially with an air of pleasure encourages them in them. Were there not so many that take pleasure in hearing these tail bears and back fighters? Were they more roughly dealt with as the blustering North wind does with the rain, there would not be so much of this evil practice. So you drive it away. Here's what you do.

You drive it away with an angry countenance. In doing so, you're speaking the truth and love and you are obeying the command to be angry but not sent. Number three, Stop the conversation. Stop it dead in its tracks. Why?

Because the tongue is a fire. That's why in Proverbs 26, 22, without wood a fire goes out. Without gossip a quarrel dies down. You've got to get the wood away from the spark and stop it. Ephesians 4.31 says, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Get rid of it. Stop it. Number four. Send the talker to the person about whom he's speaking evil and hold him accountable. Send, oh, you need to go tell him that.

Or Maybe we'll both go and you can tell both of them. But you've got to drive the slander to the person he's dishonoring so that he'll deal with it properly. Most of the time people don't come because they figure out there really wasn't anything there Number five Avoid association with persons who do this avoid association with them Proverbs 9 19 says this, he who goes about is a tail bearer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips. So this whole concept is identifying and staying away from people who separate brethren. You shouldn't be around them.

They want to separate you from your brethren. That's what they want to do. That's why in Romans 16 verse 17, the apostle Paul says, now I urge you, note those who cause divisions and offenses. Note them, in other words, yeah, take note. Note them and avoid them.

Those are the two things you do. You note them and you avoid them. You should not be spending at least very much time with people who slander their neighbors. And then number six, the sixth thing you should do is check yourself. Check yourself.

Because whenever that happens, it's a parable of the times you've done the same thing. And so let's not get too high-minded about this. Let's use this as a cause for our own repentance. Let's use this to drive us to Christ. To flee to Him for mercy.

You know, it's so easy to have a life of just talking about everyone else. Conversations that start out with, did you hear? Did you hear about this person or that person? Is it possible? Is it possible that even in this church, news travels really fast because people are always saying, did you hear?

It's everybody's responsibility to make sure that this church is not full of a bunch of busybodies who all they ever talk about is, did you hear about so-and-so? Always talking about other people's lives. Always repeating what other people said. Probably never actually able to quote them exactly perfectly. Here's what someone recommended to me.

That we recommend that just this afternoon, let's just do a little test. If someone starts talking about someone and they say, did you hear? Just say, ah! Now, they may be saying something completely wonderful and blessed and good, Because it can be that way, right? But it's not always that way, is it?

So let's just, how about just today for us, let's just be hypersensitive for a day and consider who we talk about in the fellowship. We have a long fellowship time. Hundreds of conversations. Tens of thousands of words going across the silver tongues of the members of Hope Baptist church. What will be coming out?

The poison of asps or the fruit of life. It's only one way or another. So, check yourself, because the tongue is either a fire or it's a fruit or it's a fruit tree with delicacies and sweet things there. Now, I'm I'm on number five of a ten point outline. So I'm going to just give you a thumbnail sketch of some of the other points briefly.

Number five, the consequences of gossip and slander. I will send these to you because there are many of them. There are lasting, fatal effects. Proverbs 25, 18. It breaks the law and the prophets, Matthew 7, 12.

It's a time waster, 2 Thessalonians 3, 11, and 12. It destroys trust, Proverbs 20, 19. It does not edify fellow believers, Ephesians 4, 29. It is an abomination in the eyes of God, Proverbs 1222. It is an embrace of the old self, Colossians 3, 8-10.

It leads to unrighteousness. It is foolishness, Proverbs 10, 18. Because the tongue is either a fire or it's a tree full of delicacies, ready for the eating. Number six, what happens to the gossiper and slanderer? Romans 1, 28 says, God gives them over to their lusts.

Psalm 19.14 says it brings, they heap upon themselves God's displeasure. In Psalm 34, 12, and 13 Their days are actually cut short. Proverbs 10, 21, death. Proverbs 16, 28, they lose friendships. Proverbs 21, 23, they fall into trouble.

James 1, 26, they believe in a useless religion, or they have one. Their bodies are defiled, James 3, 6, and they lose life and good days, 1 Peter 3, 10 through 11, because the tongue is either a fire or it's a tree of light. There's so many examples in Scripture. In this next point, we could talk of Shimei cursing David, Miriam speaking against Moses, Korah speaking against Moses. We could talk about children mocking Elisha.

We could talk about the false accusations against Jesus and Stephen and the Apostle Paul. There's so many places we could go for illustration for how this works. But from all of them, we learn that the tongue is either a fire or it's a fruit tree of life. I want to give you a couple of recipes here in closing. I want to give you a poisonous recipe for how to destroy your church and your family.

I've seen this happen many times. Number one, be a whisperer. Proverbs 16, 28. Number two, allow your tongue and the tongues of your family members to run unbridled. James 3, 5 through 8.

The third ingredient is hold others to a higher standard than yourself. Number four, assume the worst of others. The fifth ingredient is listen to rumors against others. The sixth ingredient is repeat rumors that you hear. The seventh ingredient is forget that you were forgiven much and demand that you're treated perfectly.

You follow that recipe, and you will get exactly what the cook meant, a poison brew for your church and your family and your work life. Because the tongue is either a fire or it's a fruit tree, here's a life-giving recipe how to build up your family and your church and your community. Number one, prepare your heart to speak words of life. David said, my tongue is the pen of a ready writer. A writer carefully weighs his words.

There's thoughtfulness and discretion. And it takes time to write well, and it takes time to speak well. Number two, speak the Word of God. My tongue shall speak your word, Psalm 119, verse 172. Speak with intentionality for edification, Ephesians 529.

Impart grace to your hearers, Ephesians 5.29. Cover the transgressions of others in your speech. Speak wisdom, Psalm 37.30, the mouth of the righteous speaks wisdom. Number seven, speak for the health of the other person. Proverbs 12, 18, that the tongue of the wise promotes health.

Talk of the praises of the Lord. Psalm 35, 28, and my tongue shall speak of your righteousness and your praise all the day long. Speak with laughter. Our tongues were filled with laughter and with songs of praise. The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with praise.

Psalm 126. 2. Speak the truth in love. Guard your tongue for whoever guards his mouth keeps his soul from troubles. Proverbs 21.23.

Speak words of encouragement to the weary. Isaiah 50, verse 4. Fill your heart with kindness. Proverbs 31, 26. Stop evil speaking in its tracks.

Without wood, the fire goes out. Following this recipe, we'll bring blessing down upon your head, your family's head, your church's head, your company's head, and your city's head. That's what it will do. And then finally, the ultimate antidote. The ultimate antidote to this is to embrace the true Gospel.

All the sin that falls short of the glory of God and while we were dead in our trespasses and sins, The shed blood of his son was given so that our transgressions would not destroy us and those who repent and believe in the gospel will be saved. But while I am saved, there is still much sin, and there is enough sin in me to condemn me to death. And the devil, the accuser of the brethren, is always at work, slandering me. He always wants me to slander my brother. And why would I want to take his place in the life of my friend?

Why would I want to act like the devil toward him and slander him as the slander of the brethren does? You know, who am I to diminish my brother? How great are my sins? Aren't my sins enough to condemn me to death? Why in the world would I want to talk about the sins of my brother?

When a person doesn't understand the Gospel, they'll slander more. When they understand the greatness of their own sin and how totally inappropriate it is to expose other people's sin, then they'll slander less. So the ultimate antidote for gossip and slander is an embrace of the gospel that recognized the greatness of your own sin. And why in the world would you want to expose someone who is so exposed to yourself? Because the tongue is either a fire or it's a fruit tree.

I'll close with these words. Romans 14 10, and why do you judge your brother or why do you show contempt for your brother for we all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. So the Lord has much to say in His word about these things. We've just grazed over the top of a number of them. But if you want to love life and see good days, Keep your tongue from evil.

Let's pray. Oh Lord, you've exposed all of us. You've put names on the things that we do that seem so natural to us. You've convicted us of our sins. Oh Lord, I pray that you would give us such tongues of sweetness.

That would be consistent with all of what you've said. Amen.