The sermon, titled 'The Church-The Ultimate Bride,' delivered by Jason Dohm, explores Ephesians 5:22-33, focusing on the metaphor of marriage as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. The speaker emphasizes the importance of walking wisely and understanding the will of the Lord, being filled with the Spirit for effective marital roles. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, while wives are to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ. This submission is portrayed as a religious act and an expression of love toward Christ. The sermon underscores the expansive authority given to husbands, reflecting Christ's authority over the Church, and warns against misinterpreting this as a license for disobedience to God. It also refers to 1 Peter 3, which supports Paul's teachings and stresses the importance of godly conduct in both husbands and wives, even in the face of disobedience. The sermon concludes with practical applications for husbands and wives, urging them to break cycles of disobedience and reflect the gospel drama in their marriages.

Good morning. Please turn to Ephesians 5. I'm going to read 15 through 33. See then that you walk circumspectfully, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

It did not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. No one has ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the Church. For we are his members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. The title of our sermon today is The Church, The Ultimate Bride. It follows on the heels of last week where the title was the Lord Jesus, the ultimate bridegroom. So it's our second week in this verse range, Ephesians 5 verses 22 through 33.

Last week looking at Christ and those who are supposed to reflect the image of Christ in his marriage, husbands. This week we'll look at the church and those who are to reflect the image of the church. Wives or brides. Last week we started on the first of three relationships. This first relationship that Paul undertakes is the marriage relationship, the husband and wife relationship.

This one will be different from the next two. We'll move next week to the parent-child relationship, and the week after that to the bond servant-master relationship. This one is different in that in the marriage relationship, Paul makes the argument that this relationship is the picture of a spiritual reality of that ultimate marriage that I read about in our call to worship in Revelation 19, the marriage supper of the Lamb, where the Lamb, the Lord Jesus Christ, who has given his wife for his bride, undertakes her care throughout all eternity. So all of this is under the banner of what we saw in verse 18. So if we just back up a couple of verses to verse 18, we saw this exhortation to be filled with the Spirit.

So we need the Holy Spirit to function this way. To function this way in our marriages, we need to be filled with the Spirit. We need the strength and the help of the Holy Spirit to play our roles in our marriage. And it's also a mark of the work of the Spirit when we're enabled to do it. We're talking about going way beyond a gritting your teeth kind of exercise of authority and submission, but actually taking joy in it, being able to enter into your role in a heartfelt level.

When you're enabled to do that, it is a mark of the Holy Spirit filling you and giving you the strength to fulfill your calling. So as we go to this text again, let's ask the Lord to help us. Oh God, we do pray that the marriages represented here would bear the marks of your people filled with your Spirit. And having power to do the things that you call us to, and having a desire and appetite to do these things that you're calling us to. Fill us with the Spirit, so that we might play our part in our marriages, so that Christ would loom large in the world, beloved in the world.

We pray in Jesus' name, Amen. So the divisions will be just like last week. We'll do the profile of the church as the bride. The first major heading last week was the profile of Jesus as the groom. So we're just following right down that track.

And The second will be the implications of that for human brides. The brides sitting here today. So this is the profile of the church as the bride. So to begin with, we're going to strip away human marriage and just consider the ultimate marriage of Christ and the Church. That takes all the prickles out of it because with Christ we know we have a perfect head.

So we can start with the thing that we're supposed to be reflecting, and then consider how that informs how we ought to reflect that ultimate reality. Look at the halfway point in verse 23 and 24. So I'm going to strip away the first part of 23 which is about human marriage. We're not talking about that yet. We're talking about Christ and the church to start with.

So I'm going to start at the halfway point in 23 and read through 24. Follow along as I do so. Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Paul makes this statement, Christ is the head of the church. And then we're told immediately what kind of head he is.

And he is the savior of the body. He is a giving head. He is a saving head. So we get the statement, he is the head of the church, and then we are told he is described. We are told what kind of a head he is.

He is a giving and sacrificing head. Then Paul continues in verse 24, the church is subject to Christ. It is the same Greek word from verse 22, wives submit to your husbands. The church is subject, or the church submits to Christ. It's the exact same Greek word.

It's rendered both ways just to make the English a little easier, but It's the same Greek word behind them. So far so good. Nothing controversial here, since we understand what we were before Jesus took hold of us and what it cost him to redeem us and what kind of a head we get in Jesus Christ. We get a perfectly good and wise head. In fact, Paul spends the next verses gushing about all that Jesus is to His people and what He does for his people and using that as a basis for the husband's conduct.

All that Christ is to his people and all that Christ does for his people is to be reflected by a husband in his disposition and conduct towards his wife. Christian husbands and wives are to live out the gospel drama before their children and their neighbors and their family members, etc. Before the world, Christian husbands and wives are to live out the gospel drama before the world. A husband must reflect Christ and what he is and what he does to care for his people, lovingly care for his people. And a wife must reflect the church and the honor and the submission that we owe to the Lord Jesus Christ as his bride, as his people." So now it comes to talking about the corresponding implications for Christian wives.

It feels really abrupt and short. Here's why. There were nine of the twelve verses in our verse range. There were nine verses given to Christ and all that He is and does for His people. And there are three left to the church.

Christ bears the weight is really what we learned from the ratio there. So we're already done talking about the church and her disposition and conduct toward the Lord Jesus Christ. Now we can move to the implications for Christian wives. I'd like to read back up to the very beginning of our verse range and read 22 and into 23. Follow along as I reread Ephesians 5 verses 22 and part of 23.

Wives, Submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church. Wives are to submit to their husbands because God has made their husbands to be their heads in order to play out the gospel drama, in order to have this sacred reflection of Christ and His Church. A husband's headship and a wife's submission to that headship is God's idea. It is not simply a human construct. It is God's idea.

It is God's design. It is commanded by God for this purpose so that a husband and wife should live out before the world the gospel drama, the sacred reflection of Christ and his passionate love for the church and the church's honor and happy submission to the Lord Jesus. And we encounter a very key phrase here in what I just read. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Wives are to submit to their husbands in a very particular way as to the Lord.

The church renders her submission to Christ. She submits to the Lord and a wife's submission to her husband as she plays her part in the gospel drama is ultimately obedience to Christ. So is she submitting to her husband? Yes. Does it terminate in her submission to her husband?

No it does not. It goes beyond him and functions also and ultimately as obedience to her Lord, the Lord Jesus Christ. Look at chapter 6, verse 1 and 2. We will be here next week. When Paul undertakes this second relationship, see that he says the same thing in chapter 6, verses 1 and 2.

Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise. The obedience of children to their parents is ultimately obedience to the Lord who commanded parents to be honored. So you get it. When God tells to children honor your parents when they obey their parents it's actually obedience to the command to honor their parents.

It's actually obedience to God. It's actually honoring God when they obey and honor their parents. And we see the same. He undertakes to speak about the third relationship of bond servants and masters. Look at chapter 6 verses 5 and 6.

Bond servants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ, not with eye service as men pleasers, but as bond servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. As bond servants of Christ, obey your masters in the flesh. Doing the will of God from the heart. So the obedience of bond servants is ultimately obedience to the Lord who has expressed that to be His will. When a wife submits to her husband, she is submitting to Christ.

When a child obeys his or her parents, they are submitting to Christ. When a bond servant obeys his or her master in the flesh, he or she is submitting to Christ, obeying Christ. Now, since that is true, there are two implications that necessarily flow from that. First the submission of a Christian wife to her husband is actually a religious act. Religion is happening when a wife, a Christian wife, submits to her husband.

It is an act of worship and an expression of love to Christ. Because she submits to him as to the Lord. Her submission to him does not terminate with her husband. It goes beyond her husband to Christ who has commanded it. And her obedience is a practical expression of her love to Christ, for Christ.

It is an act of worship. So sisters, sisters in the Lord, let me say, let this siphon some of the bitterness of submitting to a husband who is sometimes wrong, and insensitive, and dumb. Let this, that knowing that it is an act of worship, and an expression of love to Christ siphons some of the bitterness of the calling to submit to a fallible sinful husband. Second, when a wife refuses to submit to her husband, she is simultaneously refusing to submit to Jesus. So if it is true that her submission to her husband goes beyond her husband and functions as obedience to Christ, then the opposite is also true, that the refusal to submit to a husband is a refusal to submit to Christ who commanded it.

That is an inescapable implication. It is disobedience to the Lord to withhold submission from a husband. Now, there are two phrases about scope which deserve our attention. What is the scope of this submission? The first phrase about scope is found in verse 22.

Wives submit to your own husbands. This is what is in view. This is all that is in view. All women do not submit to all men. That's not the teaching of scripture.

If you want to make a Bible argument for other submission based on gender, you'll have to do that from other texts. You can't do it from here. Wives submit to your own husbands. The second phrase about scope is found in verse 24. Look again at verse 24.

Therefore just as the church is subject to Christ, So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. So there's two parts of this verse separated by a comma. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so It's founded on how the church is subject to Christ. It's based on that. And then after the comma, the second part is that wives are to be subject to their own husbands in everything.

So you have this phrase, in everything. So this authority given to husbands is breathtakingly expansive. You cannot go away from this text without acknowledging that the scope of a husband's authority as designated by God by the Apostle Paul here is breathtakingly expansive. Why is it breathtakingly expansive? Because it is reflecting Jesus' authority over his people.

What category of your life is exempt from Jesus' authority over you? So if it's going to reflect that, it's going to have to be expansive it must be or it won't reflect that. Now, Paul says in everything Is this an exception to what the Bible teaches about obeying God rather than obeying man? I'm taking phraseology from Peter and John in Acts 4 19 where they ask the authorities that are trying to compel them to do something wrong, they say, You judge whether we should listen to you, our human authorities, more than we should listen to God. And then in Acts 5 19, Peter and the other apostles, so it's apostolic, broadly apostolic, they say to their human authorities, we must obey God rather than man.

When their human authorities try to compel them to stop preaching the gospel. They're teaching there that they're not even at liberty to obey those human authorities. So Paul says in everything here is this an exception to what is taught in these other places? No, it is not an exception. One of the things you need to know about Scripture, so that you don't drive yourself crazy, and others, is that you cannot require a text to say everything about a topic anytime it says anything about a topic.

If you demand that a text say everything that could be said on a topic, anytime it touches on a topic you'll go mad. So what you do is you let the clear teaching of Scripture set the boundaries for every text that you encounter. And so, no, this isn't an exception to that. The exceptions of human authorities who try to compel things that the Word of God either forbids or requires. This is not an exception to that.

More on that in a minute, but let me warn you that this does not provide much relief from the radical nature of what God is requiring of Christian lives. It's not. You might think it is until you get to certain instances. And the instances where a husband is compelling a wife to do something that the Word of God forbids, or forbidding a wife to do something that the Word of God compels, those are few and far between. We'll get to that more in a minute, I promise.

Finally in our text we have Paul's summary statement in verse 33. The last verse of the chapter summarizes what Paul has been saying throughout these 12 verses. Look at verse 33. Paul says, Nevertheless, let Each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. He's summarizing what he's said to husbands based on Christ's headship in the church and what he is like in his headship and he is summarizing what a wife is called to based on the church.

Paul doesn't introduce a new word for the husband. The key summary word is love. Love is sprinkled throughout, so he's not introducing a new word there. But Paul does introduce a new word for the wife in the summary statement. The key summary word is respect.

When Paul summarizes a wife's duty to submit to her husband, he summarizes it this way. Let the wife see that she respects her husband. Now I have to say that I don't love respect as a translation of this Greek word. It is widely used. It is used by New King James, NASB, ESV, NIV, good translations and they all use it.

So I'm a little sheepish to argue with the translation. The King James I think actually gets closer by rendering it reverence. When you actually study the Greek word, and don't take my word for it, feel free to study the Greek word. Go to blueletterbible.org and look up this verse and just see what the Greek lexicon says about this word. But it either means fear to be afraid of, see that the wife is afraid of her husband.

I don't think the context matches that very well. Or It means to reverence, venerate, to treat with deference, or reverential obedience. To me that is so much stronger than just the bare English word respect. I think Moore is called for there to really understand what the Greek word is. And I think the context drives us to that meaning.

To reverence, venerate, what a strong word that is. So much stronger than respect. To treat with deference or reverential obedience. I think that fits right with what Paul is teaching here. So Paul casts the submission that a wife renders to her husband in these terms.

I am entirely comfortable with thinking of Christ and the Church in those terms. And my level of discomfort with thinking of a husband and wife in those terms is my own problem. We are sort of brought face to face with that here. When we think through how this applies in the ultimate sense, the ultimate marriage, Jesus Christ and his church were completely comfortable because we know Jesus. And we implicitly trust Jesus.

But then when you start cascading this down into the husband and wife relationship, and start thinking of how this replies In its breathtaking breath, we lose our level of comfort, I think. I feel that. It is for me to adjust to the Word of God, not the Word of God to adjust to me. Paul says what he says. And what he says is consistent with other parts of scripture.

So there's no boundaries that we're jumping that have been set by other parts of scripture that make our surface understanding of this meaning, he says what he means and he means what he says, and the real meaning is right there on the surface. There's not another level that sort of explains it away. It is for us to adjust to the Word of God, not for the Word of God to adjust to us. If we were to adjust the Word of God, we would be doing it just to make it match with our experience and what we see around us in the spirit of the age. We would be accommodating the spirit of the age.

Finally, we can't leave this subject without looking at 1 Peter 3. Please turn to 1 Peter 3. Enormously helpful. Many of the same words used. 1 Peter 3 verses 1 through 7.

Follow along as I read 1 Peter 3 verses 1 through 7. Peter writes, Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.

As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose Daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Let me draw out five observations from this text. I'll give you five observations from 1 Peter 3. Number one, Peter is singing out of the same song book that Paul is.

Using the same words, he's calling for the same thing. Wives, like wives, be submissive to your own husbands. What Peter is teaching, Paul taught. What Paul is teaching, Peter taught. Number two.

This answers the critical question, What does a Christian wife do if her husband isn't Christian or isn't acting like a Christian? Wonder if it's ever happened that a man who seemed like a Christian proved to not be a Christian later Is that ever happened in the history of the world do you think and in between? And but but sometimes men who really are Christians don't act like they're Christians Is that ever happened in the history of the world, do you think? But sometimes men who really are Christians don't act like they're Christians. Has that ever happened in the history of the world?

Yes, all of those things happen all the time. So what does a Christian wife do if her husband isn't a Christian or isn't acting like a Christian? The text describes it this way, does not obey the word. The text doesn't spend a lot of time parsing whether he's a Christian or not or whether he's just not acting Christian. It just says he doesn't obey the word.

It isn't. All bets are off. Submission is not required. He's not obeying the word, so all bets are off. He invalidated the deal by his disobedience to the word of God.

Now all bets are off and you no longer require submission. It is not That. It is win him with your godly conduct. Do all that you can to win him with your godly conduct. Don't let him off the hook by an ungodly response to his ungodly conduct.

Response to his ungodly conduct. And it should be said that this principle works in both directions. What should a Christian husband do if his wife isn't a Christian or isn't acting like a Christian? Should he therefore withhold loving care from his wife? No way!

He should win her with godly conduct. Think if Jesus Christ withheld love and care from the church until she acted right. Until she acted right. Think of the death spiral that this is in a human marriage. You're not submitting as I think you should submit, so I'm withholding love and care.

Well, if you're withholding love and care, I'm not submitting. Well, if you're not submitting, I'm withholding love and care and on and on and on to the very bottom. So Peter has us breaking that cycle right off the bat. Peter puts the vicious death cycle to death by saying, he's not obeying the word, win him with your godly conduct. Don't respond in kind.

Don't let him off the hook by an ungodly response to his ungodly conduct, which will make him feel justified in his ungodly conduct. That actually is what happens. When a husband's ungodly conduct is met with an ungodly response, just responding in kind, he feels justified. He's off the hook. But for Christian husbands, the pressure builds when his disobedience to the word is met with godly conduct.

And the pressure builds and builds and builds because Christians are indwelt by the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit doesn't put up with that. Number three. Like Paul said, this is an act of worship. Peter is calling for what Paul is calling for, and he is also saying it is an act of worship. He is saying, in the face of disobedience to the word from your head, respond with godly conduct this beautiful inner person characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.

Peter is saying in a little different way what Paul says, as to the Lord. It is an act of worship. It is precious in the sight of God when the disobedient conduct of a head in a home is met with a gentle and quiet spirit. That is so precious in the sight of God. You're offering something precious when you don't respond to ungodliness with ungodliness, but you just keep on with godly conduct.

Number four. This requires and displays a radical trust in God which banishes fear. How is a wife supposed to do this? She is encountering this ungodly conduct from her husband. He is disobedient to the word and she is supposed to just sustain godly conduct.

How do you do that? Radical trust in God is how you do that. Look at verses five and six. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands. As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

Study the life of Abraham and Sarah and see how fearless this woman was. They're wandering around. They don't have a country. They're in fearful circumstances, but she doesn't act afraid. She trusts in God and it banishes her fears and she's able to play her part even when her husband does some really dumb things.

You do find this in the history of Abraham. Does sinful things. This requires and displays radical trust in God which banishes fear. Wives can be given to fear. They are only one way out, radical trust in God.

There is only one way out of the fear hole, and it's to radically trust God. There are ways to feed trust in God. That's a sermon for another time. You know what they are. Five.

Peter understands how vulnerable this makes a wife to a knucklehead. So he threatens or warns husbands. You judge for yourself if it's a threat or a warning. Verse 7, Husbands likewise dwell with them, dwell with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered. He warns them or threatens them or however you want to view that with God essentially turning his back on their prayers, removing his blessing from their life because of how they're treating his daughter.

Translation, don't you dare mistreat a daughter of the king. If You mistreat a daughter of the king. Don't expect him to do nothing about it, says Peter. That your prayers may not be hindered. Now, Unmarried ladies.

How many unmarried ladies do we have here? Quite a few. Of various ages. Unmarried ladies. Never accept a marriage proposal from a man who doesn't understand his role as Jesus in the gospel drama and hasn't demonstrated his willingness to play that role for a lifetime.

Let me say that again. Unmarried ladies, never accept a marriage proposal. Will you marry me? No, I won't marry you. Why not?

Because I'm not convinced that you understand that your role is to play Jesus in the gospel drama, and I haven't seen evidence that you're willing to play that role for a lifetime. Good for you sending him away. Janet tells me that the ladies at the women's fellowship times have been reading portions of Secrets of a happy home life by J.R. Miller. She showed me this devastating quote.

Listen to what J.R. Miller says. There must be a wise choosing before marriage, Or it may be impossible to make a happy home. A mistake then will cast its shadows down all the years to the close of life. He's not denying that God in His mercy can't make up abundantly for your sins and your mistakes.

You accept a man and you have no right to believe that you can build a happy home with, but God intervenes in His kindness and does it, don't you presume on that. God doesn't owe you that outcome. If you blow past all the counsel of the people around you and marry him anyway even though there's no evidence in his life that he can sustain a life of acting like Jesus in your marriage, but you blow past all that Because you feel nice when you're around him. And J.R. Miller says, it may be impossible to make a happy home after you do that.

To the end of your life, it'll cast a shadow to your final breath. No young lady is obligated to marry any young man. I don't want to is enough reason. And there are really other good reasons. But a young lady in our circles, hopefully they'll know not to accept a man who doesn't embrace the role of Jesus in the Gospel drama and has some evidence in his life that he can sustain it.

I mean, You marry a guy who just professed Christ six months ago if you want to. My daughters will do that over my dead body. There's got to be some evidence that they embrace that role and some evidence that they'll be able to sustain it because of the things that are at stake. Okay, applications. Wow, I chased some rabbits there.

Applications. Let me give you four. One, husbands, make the submission of your wife a privilege, not a burden. That is possible, you know that is possible, Even in the fallen world, even in fallen marriages, that is possible to make your wife's submission a privilege. Not every minute of every day, but a privilege and not a burden.

Question. It's a great question. In what ways am I acting in my marriage to make my wife sorry she's a woman? Can a husband act in certain ways to make a wife? I wish I could be the head so I wouldn't have to put up with all these things.

Yes, a man can act in ways that makes his wife not revel in the glories of womanhood, but sorry she's a woman. For shame. When a husband charts a compelling course to follow the Lord together, okay, here's the rope, It's the Lord's rope. Put your hands next to mine on the Lord's rope. We're going to pull on the Lord's rope together in the same direction.

When a man charts a compelling course, and he loves his wife like Jesus loves the church, submitting to him becomes a privilege and not a burden. Men, do it. Do it. You siphon some of the bitterness out of a calling to submit to a sinful, fallible husband. Two, wives.

You will have to reconcile yourself to being despised by everyone who has been trained by the spirit of the age if you follow the Lord. Period, amen. There's no way out of it. If you don't want to be despised by the normal person, then following Jesus is the wrong thing to do. Because the minute you say, I'm going to obey this, I'm going to obey the Lord by obeying this, you will be despised by everyone trained by the spirit of the age.

This is 180 degrees opposite of the spirit of the age which says don't you let anyone tell you what to do? Don't you let anyone narrow the field of possibilities for you? How dare they? Yesterday we were talking we were considering the radical claims of discipleship. They're radical claims.

Jesus is making radical claims to you here. Totally contrary claims to everything else that is taught out there and even inside many Christian churches. Following Jesus is always the best thing to do. Obeying scripture is always the best thing to do. Don't be afraid.

Trust in God. Follow Him. Obey Him. Number three. Couples where all bets have been off, and maybe for a long time, all bets are off.

You never would submit to me. So you find your care somewhere else. You never would care for me like a Christian husband. I'm not submitting to you. All bets have been off for a long time.

Peter has told you what to do to break the cycle. I beg you to break the cycle. If there's anyone who really does describe your marriage, Peter tells you how to break the cycle. Either one of you can break it. Both of you break it.

Or one of you break it. Somebody break it. Somebody break the death spiral by responding to disobedience and ungodly conduct with godly conduct. Simply because it's very precious to God. He hasn't been a Jesus like head so she says that I won't submit and or she hasn't been a church like bride so he says I'm not loving.

Stop now. Think about Jesus and how much headship and leadership and care and sacrifice and laying down of His life He has done and is doing today, the care for his people today and how we act. He is not responding in kind. He is not waiting for us to get our act together to do his part as husband. Number four.

Jesus came to reverse the curse. I hate church signs and I hate things that rhyme because I think they make serious things trite, but I could not resist. Jesus came to reverse the curse. Genesis 3 and the curse, part of that curse is that husbands will want to exercise their authority in a domineering, un-Christ-like way and that wives will want to withhold submission and usurp their husbands authority. Do you understand that is exactly the opposite of what Paul is calling for in Christian marriage?