The sermon, titled 'Jesus Christ the Ultimate Husband' by Jason Dohm, focuses on the metaphorical relationship between Christ and the Church as a model for human marriage. Using Ephesians 5:22-33, Dohm explores the spiritual significance of marriage, emphasizing that Christ is the ultimate husband who loves, sanctifies, and cherishes the Church, which is His bride. The sermon outlines five characteristics of Jesus as the husband: He is the anointed head of the Church, the Savior of the body, He loves the Church, nourishes and cherishes it, and is one with it. These characteristics serve as a model for human husbands, who are called to lead, love, and care for their wives as Christ does for the Church. The sermon also touches on the role of submission within marriage, encouraging a spirit-led approach that mirrors the unity and love between Christ and the Church. Practical applications are given for both unmarried and married men, urging them to walk closely with Jesus to fulfill their roles effectively.

Oh Father, we thank you that we can come to you anytime, anywhere, any place, for any reason, even in the middle of a church service for something that unexpected happened. We ask for your mercy, we ask for your kindness and your tenderness towards the Templeton family, and we ask that your will be brought forth with great joy. May there be no injury, may there be no loss, may there be restoration. We pray this in Jesus' name, amen. Our sermon text this morning is Ephesians 5 22 to 33.

To get a running start, I'll start in verse 15. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body.

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the Church.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." The title of the sermon this morning is Jesus Christ the ultimate husband. Paul brings us to a contemplation of the marriage relationship, the husband and wife relationship, and central to that is the Lord Jesus Christ who is the husband who is the reality that every human husband is to picture and to be a shadow of or a reflection of.

Our text last week was fundamentally about the believer having the Holy Spirit as his or her controlling influence. So not wine leading to drunkenness, leading to an abandoned life that's the wrong controlling influence, but the Holy Spirit as the controlling influence for the believer. And the last thing mentioned, as something a believer who is filled with the Spirit will be led into by the Holy Spirit and therefore is also an evidence of being filled with the Spirit is the capacity to submit to one another in the fear of God. That really is a capacity. That is an ability to be able to submit to one another in the fear of God without it just being something that is reduced to gritting our teeth and being just bare obligation.

So Paul has opened this theme, and now he continues on that theme and develops it. He's going to bring us to wives and their submission to husbands, to children, and their submission to their parents, to bond servants, and their submission to their masters. So today we begin Paul's examination of the marriage relationships, Wives and their submission to husbands. We'll actually spend two weeks here of these three different relationships. The marriage relationship, the parent-child relationship, the bond-servant-master relationship.

This is the only one that we'll spend two weeks on. Why is that? Well, we're mirroring Paul and the emphasis he gives on it. He brings us into 12 verses on this. So it is an extensive consideration of the marriage relationship so we're sort of mirroring that and it's unique in this way.

The marriage relationship as Paul teaches us in this text, is a picture of a spiritual reality. He's not going to say that about the parent-child relationship. He's not going to say that about the bond-servant-master relationship. But he does say that about the husband and wife relationship. The marriage relationship is a picture of a spiritual reality and all of it is rooted in Jesus Christ and his role as husband of his people.

It all starts there. So this really deserves extra time. This absolutely deserves a second week. As we come to this section of scripture, let's ask for God's help. God, there is a sense of being on holy ground.

You are giving us instructions for relationships that we're very familiar with. Familiar with, but the fact that this particular relationship is in the shadow of our Lord Jesus Christ who left heaven to save a bride, who loves his bride, and will eternally provide for and tenderly care for his bride. These are holy things to contemplate. I thank you for them. I pray that you wouldn't send us away from here not influenced or impacted or moved by the things that Paul teaches here.

Oh, let us drink deeply from this well. Pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Well, there are two major headings here. The first being the profile of Jesus as the husband.

So if you're filling in blanks on the handout, husband is the blank. The profile, the description, the teaching about Jesus as the husband. Not a husband, I am a husband. Jesus is the husband of all husbands. My being a husband just exists in order to give a picture to the world of the ultimate husband who is Jesus Christ.

So Paul teaches us a number of things, a number of very precious things, about what Jesus is to his people and about what God has in mind in the marriage relationship. So we're just going to start there with the profile of Jesus as the husband, and then after that we'll graduate to consideration of human husbands, the implications of what Jesus is to his people, the implications of that for human husbands. So this is the first major heading, the profile of Jesus as the husband. I'm going to give you five different things right out of the text using the words of the text that Paul says are true of Jesus as the husband. Number one, Jesus is the anointed head of the church.

Jesus is the anointed head of the church. You say, oh you are going to stick to the words of the text. The text doesn't say anointed. Yes it does. It actually doesn't use the word Jesus.

It uses the word Christ as the head of the church. And Christ simply means God's anointed. God the Father has anointed Jesus, meaning he has officially commissioned him. He's given him that work to do and empowered him to do that work in the flesh. So Jesus is the anointed of God to be the head of the church.

Look at verse 23, the first part of verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church. Now we'll use Paul as the best commentary on Paul, so flip back to chapter 1. This explains it perfectly what Paul is saying here. It's really just an extended comment on Christ as the head of the church.

In Ephesians chapter 1, Paul said this in verses 22 and 23. Follow along as I read Ephesians 1, 22 and 23. And he, God the Father, put all things under His, God the Son's feet. He put all things under His feet and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all." So Paul's not introducing in chapter 5 Jesus as the head of the church. He started talking about this in chapter 1.

That God the Father has given Jesus to be head over all things to the church. So he is the anointed of God. He is the Christ, the anointed one, officially commissioned and empowered to come and be the head of the church and the church is called his body here also in chapter one. He is the head over all things to the church. So there is a figurative unity.

What do I mean by figurative? Well, it's not a literal head. Jesus is a figurative head. It's not a literal body. The church, the body of believers is not a physical human body.

It is figurative. But it is a figurative unity as a head is joined to the body, inseparable from the body, so is Jesus to his people. Joined. One. So there is no hint of rivalry here, only unity.

This is really important to the argument that Paul is making in chapter 5. There's no rivalry between a head and a body. They're one. The interests of the head are the interests of the body. The interests of the body are the interests of the head.

There's no rivalry. There's only unity in that figurative analogy given to us. So understand that in Ephesians chapter 5 it's not one picture, it's two pictures. Yes, we have the picture of a husband and a bride and that is a reflection of Jesus Christ. He's the ultimate husband and the bride is the church, the church being the ultimate bride.

But also This is in the shadow in our text of the head and the body. Something I just sort of missed or not made the connection of was that Ephesians 5 is really not one picture but two pictures. Paul begins by asserting Jesus' position as of unquestioned authority. So as we talk about husbands and wives and authority and submission there may be a time to tense up but it's not now. Because right now we're just talking about Christ and his people.

And at least in that realm, grant that we have unquestioned authority of Jesus Christ. We as believers are trusting in Christ. We are under Christ. I don't know anywhere where that particular proposition is controversial. Number two.

So that was number one. Jesus is the anointed head of the church. We are under our head, the Lord Jesus Christ. And it's in all things as it said in chapter one. Number two, Jesus is the savior of the body.

So he's not only the head, but he's also the Savior. Just look again at verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. So I'm only saying exactly what the text says and exactly the same words that the text uses. Jesus is the Savior of the body.

The body, the church, the universal church, all believers, it is His body. It belongs to Him. It is His by redemption. It is His by purchase. Listen again to chapter 1 verse 7.

For a lot of this we can just stay in Ephesians. Paul is just continuing to build on truths that he's already laid the groundwork for in earlier chapters. In chapter 1 verse 7 he said this, In Him, he just called Him Christ the beloved. So he just said we're accepted in the beloved. And then in verse 7 he says, In Him, in the beloved, we have redemption through His blood.

We're bought out of the slavery of sin through His blood. The forgiveness of sins. All of our sins are pardoned and forgiven because of the blood of Jesus Christ. The church is His body by purchase, by redemption. The body is the body because we have been rescued by the Lord Jesus Christ.

There is no body of Christ without this rescue. We only exist because He came from heaven to shed His blood so that sinners could be cleansed of every hint of sin, every stain of sin. We don't exist as his body without him rescuing us. This just makes it so clear how inappropriate autonomy, the thought of autonomy for a Christian is. I'll govern myself.

I'll be my own. We were bought by blood. If you really trusted in Christ to forgive you of your sins, you are bought by blood. How could we think of ourselves as separate and autonomous? No, we have a head.

We are connected, forever connected to our head. Autonomy is completely inappropriate. He has rescued us. He has purchased us. We are His by redemption number three Jesus loved the church Look at verses 25 and through 27 follow along as I reread verses 25 Through 27 husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.

That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. That he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Jesus loved the church. Now, I'm preserving the verb tenses from the text. And overwhelmingly during the sermon, that means I'm going to be using the present tense because Paul used the present tense.

But here he actually uses the past tense. He loved the church. It isn't that Jesus' love is past tense. Jesus still loves the church, actively loves the church, will love his people throughout all eternity. The past tense is the point to this great body of evidence, this great point of evidence that he gave himself for her the love of God is not empty talk it's not sentimental unproven love If you want to know if Jesus loves his people, you look to the cross.

Paul is saying that here by this verb tense. There's proof, there's great, mighty, irrefutable proof that Jesus really loves his people. He left heaven, he went to the cross, he laid down his life for his people. And it was love. It was love.

So, it's past tense, he still loves his people. He loves them as much or more than he ever did. He can't love them more, actually. But it's said in the past tense because it is pointing in the text to him giving himself for his people. This great point of evidence proving his love.

Paul teaches that this self-sacrifice had a specific purpose. What was the purpose of this proof of his love, this self sacrifice, that he might sanctify and cleanse her. Again, it's just the words of the text. The specific purpose for Jesus' loving sacrifice of himself was that he might sanctify and cleanse her. So now we're getting into bride language.

Her. It's been the body, he's the head, he has a body. It's been the church, but now it's her. Now we're entering husband-wife language. He laid down his life, he gave himself that he might sanctify and cleanse her.

To sanctify means to set apart. Jesus loved his bride, so he gave himself for her to set her apart to himself and to cleanse her. It is the claiming of his bride. So sanctification is used in two ways in the New Testament. It can mean to set apart for a specific purpose or it can mean this process of growing less sin, more faith.

Here I believe it is actually being used just in that fundamental sense of being set apart too. It is Jesus coming to claim His bride. You are mine. I love you. I set you apart to myself and I cleanse everything that would keep that from happening.

Of course these two things go together. The sanctifying, the laying claim to a people to be his own brides, to be the eternal object of his love goes hand in hand with the cleansing. He had to come and cleanse. There's no way he could marry a bride with a blemish. But who are we?

We're people who are so comfortable with sin that so often it doesn't even hit our radar. We sin and don't even notice, but God always notices. He could never have a bride who was insensitive to sin, so he came and did the cleansing work to set her apart, to set me apart to be the object of his love for all eternity. Paul leaves no question about how this cleansing takes place. Jesus washes her with the washing of water by the Word.

Turn to Ezekiel 36. Ezekiel 36 is a wonderful text and its ultimate fulfillment is in the new covenant. I'm not sure that that's its only fulfillment, but It's clear as day to me that the ultimate fulfillment of Ezekiel chapter 36 is the new covenant sealed by Jesus' blood. Follow along as I read Ezekiel chapter 36 verses 25 through 27. God says through the prophet, then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean.

I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you. I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and you will keep my judgments and do them. This is what it takes for a sinner like me to be part of Jesus' bride.

He has to come and he has to cleanse me of all my filthiness and of all my idols. All the filthiness has to be gone. All the idols have to be gone. He has to take out this heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. He has to put his Spirit in me so that I'll begin to walk in His commandments, so that I'll keep His judgments and do them, as Ezekiel 36 says.

Listen to what Jesus says in John 15 verse 3. So this is the passage where Jesus washes the feet of his disciples and Peter feels this to be inappropriate that Jesus would stoop to do this and so He doesn't want him to do it. And Jesus says, if I don't wash you, then you have no part in me. And Peter says, well then wash my whole body. So this is actually Jesus' response to that in John 15 verse 3.

That might be 15 verse 13, you can check me on that. It would be either 3 or 13 I think. It says 3 in my notes, but that sounds too early in the chapter. So anyway, if I got the verse wrong, forgive me. But these words appear somewhere in John 15.

You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. So Jesus says to Peter, you're already clean. I don't need to wash your whole body. You are already clean. The spiritual reality of which this physical washing was a picture of has already taken place because of the word which I have spoken to you.

Listen to what Paul says in Romans chapter 10 verses 8 and 9. This is Romans 10 verses 8 and 9. Paul writes, but what does it say? And then he quotes, So he's quoting scripture. But what does it say?

The Word is near you, in your mouth, and in your heart. That is the Word of faith which we preach. That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. The word of God brings us what we need to believe in order to be washed by God, washed clean through the blood of Jesus Christ.

We become a participant in Jesus' work on the cross by the preaching of the Word of God, by being exposed to these truths which we believe, and then we're cleansed. So this setting apart and cleansing also has a specific purpose. So it's sort of like a waterfall. It's an outline and the indents keep going in. He talked about the love of God, the love of Christ for his people that he might sanctify and cleanse.

That he might, so we just indented again so this setting apart the sanctifying and cleansing also has a specific purpose that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish. The great beauty of Jesus' bride is her purity. Her glory is in her perfect spotlessness. She's a glorious church because her spots have been dealt with and her wrinkles have been dealt with and any such thing has been dealt with. And her purity, her perfect spotlessness isn't her own righteousness which is from the law, but that, but the righteousness which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith." That's right from Paul in Philippians 3.

That's Philippians 3.9. So she is pure. She is perfectly spotless. But she's not that because she's always kept the law perfectly. She's that through faith in Christ.

The righteousness which is from God by faith. Revelation chapter 19 verse 8. The Apostle John is describing the marriage of the Lamb, and he says to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints." So it's in this beautiful, perfect, clean, bright, spotless attire that the bride appears at the marriage of the lamb. And this fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Understand, it's not instead of Jesus' work.

It's because of Jesus' work. How did this linen become so clean and bright? It wasn't a replacement in any way of Jesus' work. It's because of Jesus' work. These are blood-washed acts of the saints.

Acts made right, made acceptable by faith and trust in Christ. Friends, these are simply the great doctrines of our salvation that we have before us. We should be made so happy that Paul thought to teach us on marriage because it made him contemplate Christ and all he's done for his people and all he is to his people. Number four. Jesus nourishes and cherishes the church.

Look at verse 29. Verse 29, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. Every need is supplied. Not a single need is left. We know that we have survival level needs.

We have to have food to eat. No food, no life. No water, no life. You do not last long without food and water. But this is so much more than survival level needs.

Here, have some food. Now this goes a million miles beyond here, have some food. Nourish isn't a bad translation, but it's a little narrow. You go to the Greek lexicon, here's what you see for this Greek word. To nourish, to nurture, to bring up, It's actually the word that we're going to encounter when we get into chapter 6.

Bring up your children in the training and admonition of the Lord. That's the same Greek word that is rendered nourish here. So to nourish or to nurture, to nurture is definitely more than just here have some food, have some food and water. To bring up, it's like a continual nurture, continual nurturing. And cherish means to cherish with tender love.

This is what you find in the Greek lexicon. To cherish with tender love. To foster with tender care. That's what the Greek lexicon says. Isn't that wonderful?

To cherish with tender love. I mean that's sort of implied in the word cherish, but I don't think we should leave it implied. It's more for the encouragement of our souls when we think about Christ and what He is to His people, to fill it out. Christ cherishes me with tender love. He fosters me with tender care.

Every physical and practical and emotional and spiritual need is abundantly supplied by Jesus. Because He Himself undertakes to nourish and cherish us. He does it Himself. And so, my physical needs are going to be met. My practical needs are going to be met.

My emotional needs are going to be met. My practical needs are going to be met. My emotional needs are going to be met. My spiritual needs are going to be met because Jesus Christ Himself has undertaken to nourish and cherish me because I'm part of His bride. Pride.

Number five. Jesus is one with the church. Look at verses 29 through 32. Follow along as I reread verses 29 through 32. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Jesus is one with the church. Paul here quotes Genesis 2 24 about the first man being brought together with the first woman, Adam being brought together with Eve, and Paul says that's really about Christ and his people.

The oneness of the marriage relationship is really about the oneness of Jesus Christ and His people. Believers are not Jesus' science project, a sort of lab experiment where we try out things and see how they work out. Believers are not Jesus' pity project. God has pitied us, and Jesus has shed his blood out of compassion for us, but we are not his pity project. Believers are the object of Jesus' love.

And He unites Himself with them forever. No one ever united themselves with their science project forever. No one ever unites themselves with their pity project forever. We are the object of Jesus' love. He loves us and he unites himself with all believers for all time.

Listen to these words and let them sink in. Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? Where is that from? It's from Acts chapter 9 verse 4. Saul of Tarsus, the persecutor of The church is killing Christians, imprisoning Christians, he's going to Damascus to do that, and Jesus confronts him on the road and says, why are you persecuting me?

I am joined forever to my people. When you imprison and kill my people, you are persecuting me. If you are a believer, then Jesus is forever one with us. I say us because I'm a believer. If you are a believer, then Jesus is forever one with us.

Our interests are his interests and he is more zealous for them than any human husband ever has been. You believe that? That my interests, by virtue of union with Christ by faith, my interests are his interests. And he's more zealous for my interests than any human husband ever has been for the interests of his wife. More zealous.

And he actually knows, he understands what my interests are so much better than I do, so that he can actually work this out with perfect wisdom when I would misrepresent my interests and pursue the wrong things. He knows exactly what my real interests are and he is zealous for them. More zealous than any human husband ever has been for the interests of his wife. So those are the five things that the text says are true about Jesus Christ as the husband of his blood-bought people. Now let's consider the corresponding implications for Christian husbands.

Christian husbands we're going to see have a big job, a big tall mountain to climb, But they have the benefit of being on both sides of the equation. What do I mean by that? I am actually the bride in one part of the equation. I'm not the husband everywhere. I'm the husband in my home, but I'm the bride here.

I'm more the bride than I am the husband. I'm more fundamentally the bride in this text than I am the husband in the text because Jesus is the ultimate husband. I'm just the reflection, I'm just the picture of the ultimate reality. So I have the benefit as a believer, and now a believer for something like 40 years, of having received the care from this husband. That's a huge benefit in helping me to know how to be a husband.

I have received this tender care for four decades. The idea is that in this sacred Reflection, I'm sure I'll use that term a lot this week and next. This sacred reflection, the human relationship reflecting Jesus in his church, a husband plays the role of the Lord Jesus Christ. The husband is acting out this gospel drama before the world. So I hope sacred reflection will be part of our vocabulary.

I hope gospel drama will be part of the vocabulary of our homes. It helps center us that hey I'm playing a role in a drama, not some common drama, the drama of the gospel playing out before the world. And I've been assigned the part of the Lord Jesus Christ. So we should first take note that there are nine verses of the Twelve spelling out the obligations of husbands and three verses of the twelve spelling out the obligations of husbands and three verses of the twelve spelling out the obligations of wives. That's a simple math fact.

And it's right because all of this is rooted in Jesus being the ultimate husband. Let's just scroll through those five truths about Jesus and consider the implications for the human husband, the Christian husband. Number one, Jesus is the anointed head of the church. Look again, I would just establish this again from verse 23, for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church. So I'm not implying anything from the text, that's what the text says in as plain English as you can make it.

Head of household is a real thing. Head of household is a real thing. If I have a household, meaning if I'm married, I mean the household can grow beyond just that, if God's pleased to give you children, but if you're married, you have a household, and if I have a household, then I'm anointed by God to be the head of that household. I am officially commissioned. Where do I get my official commission?

Right here in this verse. I just read it to you. I am officially commissioned and empowered. All of this is in the shadow, textually, of being filled with the Spirit. Paul is just teaching us how to live a life filled with the Spirit.

This is an evidence of being filled with the Spirit. So I'm officially commissioned and I'm empowered to be the head of the household. I am the head of my household. If you are a husband, you are the head of your household. You might be a good head.

You might be a bad head. You might be a knucklehead. I know that's an old joke. We've been using that one for a long time. It always kills.

You might be a knucklehead, but you are the head of your household. Because God says you're the head of your household. You can say, I abdicate. That's not possible. God tells you when you're relieved of your duties.

And if you're a husband, it's when you die. It's when you die. Until that moment, you are the head of your household. That's the implication of Jesus as the anointed head of the church. You are the head of your household.

You must lead your household. You are given authority over your household. Number two, Jesus is the Savior of the body. Every analogy involving God and humans breaks down sooner or later. This one breaks down really fast.

You cannot save your wife like Jesus saves his church. You can't shed your defiled blood for her. Your defiled blood would never be accepted to cleanse her from her sins. So we don't save our wives in that way at all. I think we can still apply it in this way.

The husband is to stand at the ready to rescue his wife. Jesus left heaven and he came and he rescued us. And husbands need to arm themselves with the mentality that I stand at the ready to rescue my wife. Is your wife given to fear and worry? You better be at the ready to rescue her from that.

Not condemn her for it. Help her with it. Lay down your life to rescue her however you can think to do it. Is your wife given to discouragement? Rescue her from the discouragements If you can.

Is your wife overtaken by sin? Rescue her if you can. Lay down your life to bring her out of sin if you can. Husbands are to stand at the ready to rescue their wives when they're in trouble, when they need help. Number three, Jesus loved the church.

Look at verse 25 again. Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. Husbands, this is the fountainhead for your care. Your wife also is not your science experiment. Your wife is also not your pity project.

How could she be? Love is the fountainhead for a husband's care in this model. Not bear obligation. Do you have some obligations? Yes.

But is that the source of your care? It better not be. You think a wife can't detect it when bare obligation is the source of your care for her? Do you think you would like it for a second if bare obligation was the source of Jesus' salvation for you? Man, some poor sinners down there, somebody should do something about this.

I guess I'll go. That changes the gospel. That diminishes the gospel so much. Think, if we're living out the reflection of the gospel drama how much of a false gospel you're preaching by having your care come out of bare obligation. That is blasphemy to the gospel.

Husbands, stir up love in your marriage. Stir it up. Understand this, if love has gone cold in your marriage, you're either directly or indirectly responsible for it. What do you mean? I mean you're the head.

I mean authority exists for the responsibility. The only reason you're given authority is to carry forward the responsibilities that God has given you. So if love has gone cold in your marriage, you're to blame. The sooner husbands reconcile themselves to that, the sooner they get away from blame shifting and they can just get to work on the problem. I mean, if you must assign a ratio of blame, then do it fast and understand you own both sides of it because you're in charge.

And in any event, it adds up to 100% and you own the 100%. Whether you did the deed or she did the deed or you said the words or she said the words, you own the problem because you're the head. You think Jesus is at the mercy of his church? No, he's taking responsibility for his church. And he's taking ownership for the spots and wrinkles and every such thing And Remember why it's past tense that Jesus loved the church.

Not that his love is past tense, but it's pointing to the practical evidence. Heaven forbid that we would have this sentimental love, but there's no great proof. If you want it, if you say, Jesus prove it, prove it. You have the cross, no one in their right mind would say to Jesus, prove it. It's been proven millennia ago.

There's great irrefutable evidence we should seek to have great irrefutable evidence in our marriages. Of our practical meat and potatoes love. It's not cotton candy love. Everybody loves a little cotton candy. Thank God for cotton candy, I guess.

Thank God for the equivalent of it in marriage. We don't want to strip away affection and sentiment, but there has to be substance there too. Jesus' love is substantial, practical if it's anything. Brothers, wash her with the Word. Help her faith grow.

Help her make progress. Let the Word of God be written on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. I'm quoting Deuteronomy chapter 6. In literal ways, in other words, if you came to my house and you see places where scripture is, and I bet it would be true of your house too, she put it there. Okay, they pick decorations.

I'm willing to concede that point. That's a good thing. It's a good thing that I'm not picking the decorations. But in a literal sense, I should be the one writing the Word of God on the doorposts of my house and on my gates. I should be the one saturating my home with the word of God." Number four, Jesus nourishes and cherishes the church.

Just look again at verses 28 and 29. So husbands love their own wives as their own bodies. For he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church brothers our wives have practical needs and we should be attentive to those and you shouldn't undervalue that. Providing is very important. But providing is the beginning of nourishing and cherishing and not the end of it.

It goes without saying that you can't just come home and say, I earned a paycheck, my care for you is done. That's not going to meet the standard. Even more than their practical needs, which are real and deserve attention, even more than those practical needs, they need to be cherished with tender love and fostered with tender care. What if we gave your wife truth serum? And said, what do you think of this as the description of your husband's care for you?

Cherished with tender love, fostered with tender care. If you gave Janet that truth serum, I would hope that she would be her normal diplomatic self and say something to the effect of, maybe there are better ways to describe his care for me. Maybe there are more accurate phrases to use for his care for women. We should build marriages, brothers, where if Our wives were given truth serums and asked the question, is it a good description of his care for you, cherished with tender love, fostered with tender care that there would be no hesitation that they would say yes. That's the right way to describe it.

Dome incorporated can be humming along and this be so lacking. Dome incorporated is a real thing. We need some disciplines in our home. And we need some routines in our home. And there are actual practical realities that have to be dealt with day to day.

I grant all of that, but if your marriage is nothing but that, it is no reflection of the gospel. It is no reflection of Jesus Christ's care for his people. I do want Dome, Inc. To be humming along, but I want it to be so much more than that. Notice that Paul includes an appeal to your best self-interest.

In other words, if oneness is real and oneness is real, then I benefit from caring for Janet. In a sense, it's caring for myself. If we're one and I care for her, it's self-care in a way. The Expositors Bible Commentary said something that I thought was just a really helpful way to frame this. The Expositors Bible Commentary says, in making his wife prosper through his love for her, a husband prospers himself.

Love is essentially a matter of giving, not getting, yet as a husband gives of himself for his wife, he will reap the benefits of a better life in marriage. It's a sowing and reaping argument. Number five. Jesus is one with the church. Let me re-read 30 through 32.

Paul writes, For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery that I speak concerning Christ and the church. Friends, oneness is the vision. Oneness is the vision for marriage. There is no power struggle there.

If you're one, There's no power struggle there. Both hands are on the same rope, pulling in the same direction in absolute unity. You can't tell whose fingers are whose. Husbands, I'll just give you this question. I think it's a good diagnostic question.

In what ways am I viewing my bride as an external entity? In what ways am I viewing my bride as an external entity? She's out there, I'm in here. Paul's not teaching us to think that way. Oneness is the name of this game.

Let me conclude with this thought, and then we'll apply a few. Think of how fearlessly we can submit to the Lord Jesus Christ. You got any fears left about submitting to Jesus? Honestly, I search my heart. I don't think I've got any left.

It's been 40 years and the promises that were made to me by the people who brought me the gospel, I mean he's surpassed them all. They didn't tell me the half of it. I'm not sorry I did it. I'm sorry I haven't done it more wholeheartedly. Every promise has been kept and exceeded to me.

That's my testimony after 40 years. I don't always obey him, but I know that I need not fear submitting myself to him. We can do it with such confidence. Brothers, strive to replicate that in your home. Strive to replicate that in your marriage.

So that your wife can submit to you so fearlessly because she knows her interests are your interests and you might even have more zeal for her interests than she does. And there are these great landmark proofs, practical proofs, like we can look back at the cross and never wonder for a second, a nanosecond, if Jesus loves his people. That has been so forever settled at the cross. May God give us landmarks in our marriages where it's so forever settled the proof of our love for our spouses. Applications, I'll give you three.

Believers, be rapturously happy in Jesus. Look at what Paul says Jesus is to us. What He has done for us. What He is doing for us. What He will forever do for us.

If anyone has the right to be giddy happy, rapturously happy, it is me. So if I'm entitled to it, I want to do it. What do we lack? If the things that are said by Paul in this passage are true, what did he leave out? I can't think of a thing.

Number two, unmarried men. Understand that this is the role you're studying for. Studying for this role. It's the role of a lifetime, literally. Literally.

Scott has been saying this recently. He hosted a singleness conference before the last big conference. He said this a number of times. People ask me what I should do to prepare to get married. I say don't.

Don't prepare to get married. Learn to walk closely with Jesus. That gets you ready for marriage. To that I say a hearty amen. Yes, there are many things we can do on a practical level to sort of get things in order for marriage, but that is so secondary compared to walking closely with Jesus.

Because that's the role you're going to be playing, young fellas. That's the role God is placing you in on the day He gives you a wife. So study Jesus. Be often in the Gospels. You can't spend too much time in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

You can spend too little time in the other parts of the Bible, but you can't spend too much time in the Gospels. Number three, married men. Three things I'll say to you. Number one, accept the challenge. Number two, you don't have a choice.

You are the head. This is the standard. There's not another standard. Jesus is the standard. Number three, count it your honor and glory and go for it.

We should think of it as our honor and our glory. What a great privilege to be given the opportunity to try to replicate in some small way Jesus in the world. God, we pray that you would help us to live out the gospel drama without portraying things that aren't true about the gospel. I pray that you would help the men in this room to be more like the Lord Jesus Christ is than they ever have been to care for their wives more like Jesus cares for His people. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.