In his sermon, Steve Hopkins addresses various aspects of marriage and family dynamics, emphasizing open discussion while avoiding arguments. He highlights the model of Christ and the church as a guide for marital relationships, encouraging resolutions through authority and submission. Hopkins underscores the influence of companions on children, advising parents to carefully select who their children associate with. He stresses the significance of the family table as a time for connection, relaxation, and spiritual growth, drawing on biblical examples and the nostalgic imagery of familial worship. By fostering these practices, families can cultivate a nurturing and wise environment.

Good morning once again. Before we launch into the Lord's Prayer, first a couple of pre-message messages. First, there was a question that came up after my message last week from one of the members as to clarification about husbands and wives arguing or getting into arguments. And the concern was that there might be some couples or maybe wives who might hear and come away thinking that they're not permitted to discuss things with their husbands. And just in case anyone comes away ever with the thinking that that marriages are not supposed to be full of discussion of course they are marriages need to be full of discussion but void of arguments breaking out void of arguments breaking out I can't imagine a marriage where there is not continual conversation between husbands and wives.

And remember, the model is always what? Who remembers? Christ and His church. The model is always Christ and His church. Husbands, put yourself in the place of Christ.

Wives, put yourselves in the place of the church. And I was, I had a big long thing here, and I was going to go into some examples and scenarios, but I'm not going to do that. I think it's best just to say, put yourself in the position of Christ in the church. And when you have situations in your marriage, always put yourself in the position of Christ in the church. That's the way that you work through situations.

Every single situation can be worked out when you're modeling Christ, husband, and when you are modeling the church, wife. Every single situation will be worked out and the same thing goes with discussions and when discussions are ended because you know, unless there is an end to a discussion, they're perpetual and you can't have a perpetual discussion on any particular situation, whether it's a financial situation or a question of how to raise the children or how to discipline the children or whatever it has to be. There has to be an end summary. There has to be resolution. And how does resolution come?

Well, it comes with authority. And eventually, the authority has to say, okay, this is the end of the discussion. This is the end to discussion. And then, of course, there has to be submission in situations like that. That's the same with children.

You children, at some point in time, you know, when there is a situation where you're discussing something with your parents and maybe you're in disagreement with your parents. And then they say, you know what, here's the end of the discussion. We've discussed this, I've heard your points, I've heard your points, I've heard your concerns back and forth, and now this is the end of the discussion and this is what mom says, this is what I decided. Then you have to say, you know what, that's the end of it. That's the end of it.

To go on would be to argue with your mother, to be to engage in an argument. And that wouldn't be right. There has to be an end to it at some point in time, and God puts in our lives, He puts authority in our lives. Same thing on the job site, you know. You've got a boss, right?

All the guys are saying, well, we want to do this, we want to do that, and they're discussing things back and forth. The boss says, okay, let's hear everybody's own points, and everybody gives their points, everybody gives their situation, what they think they should do after a while. He says, okay, here's the end of it. I've heard everybody's objections. I've heard everybody's, you know, arguments.

I've heard everything, but here's the end of it and this is what we're going to do. This is what we're going to do. And then he ends it. He says, this is the end of it. Okay?

To go on would be to engage in an argument then, rather than to give their arguments. So there has to be an end to it. There has to be a resolution at some point in time. Some children, and we've done a lot of counseling over the years, some children, you know, have good memories of their parents discussing things respectfully with each other. And they'll tell you, you know, it was a model for them and an example for them going into their marriages, this is how this is to be done.

Other children, you know, you counsel with them and they've got bad memories. They've got bad memories of going to bed listening to their parents arguing, you know, listening to their parents arguing, and how they they fell asleep with a knot in their stomach, you know, and maybe felt sick, and then the next day it started all over again. So you know, remember also that there's children, and there's children many times, not always, but there's children many times that are involved, And you're teaching them. You're teaching them how they are to operate and function in their future marriages. And just teach them, you know, the right way.

Model for them Christ and his church. Okay, second, how many remember a message that I did many years ago on companions? Anybody remember? It was on companions? One person remembers?

Okay, it was based on Proverbs 13.20. It was on companions, and the reference was, he who walks with wise men will be wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed. And it was directed at parents. And it was an admonition and encouragement to parents, watch out who you raise your children under the influence of, who you let your children be the friends of. Because you know, you need to stop for a moment sometimes and say, and we have a lot of younger parents now and they're raising up children and you're going to start having to make these decisions, who do I want my children to be around?

Who do I want them to be like? And you have to look out there and say, okay, I'm letting them hang out with so-and-so, fellowship with these people or those people or what have you. And it can even be relatives, you know. They say blood is thicker than water or whatever. Blood relatives doesn't mean that you have to allow.

We had to cut off a lot of blood relatives because they were destructive influences on our children. We had to just cut it off. And I remember at one point in time, Many, many, many years ago, Sandra and I sitting there in the house and saying, you know what, we don't have any friends. We had to cut off so many relations once we were trying to live more biblically and separate for the sake of our children, you know, that we didn't want this destructive influences in the lives of our children. We realized, wow, we don't have any friends anymore.

You know, for our children, we had to pull them away because the companions of fools will be destroyed. And we had a lot of foolish friends that were going in the way that we didn't want to see them go. They were bringing them into movies that were destructive. They were bringing them into music that was destructive, you know. If you see them taking your children in a direction, in a way, with influences that you don't want to see them go.

Or if you look at these companions and you say, this is the model, this is the way I want my child to turn out. Okay, this is the way I want my child to turn out. Well then let them hang out with them. This is exactly what I want my child to be like. Then let them hang out with them.

But if you say, that's not what I want my child to turn out like, then pull them away from them. Pull away from those influences. Pull them away from those influences because you know what? A companion of fools is going to be destroyed. But if they walk with wise men, they're going to be wise.

Find wise men for your children to walk with. You know, the fellowship meal at the church, it goes on for a couple hours, that's a good place. But watch out, you know, watch out who they're hanging out with. It really, really matters. It really, really matters.

Number three. So I usually only do a couple, but really impressed upon to bring out this one also. The family table, the family table. How many have ever heard the term the family table? Okay, the family table.

We're getting away from it in America. We've gotten way far away from it in America. Please don't let the family table get lost in the hustle and bustle of your busy life. Even those who believe in the family table can get away from it. Okay?

And the family table may be the family living room, you know, or what have you. I'm not talking about it has to be a table, but a set time in the evening or maybe in the morning for your family, where you gather together and all the families together and you're looking at each other eye to eye, and maybe you lay out the Bible and you read a passage of Scripture together. It may be your family worship time, but you eat together, you commune together, you relax together, you talk together, you know. It's American traditional, but more importantly it's also a pattern in Scripture. We see suppers throughout the Old Testament.

In the New Testament we see Jesus, you know, preparing meals for people and, You know, he prepares a supper for the 5, 000 in Mark 6. Another time in Matthew 15, he prepares a supper for the 4, 000. In Luke 24, Jesus appears to the disciples after that walk, you know, to the village of Emmaus during supper. And it says, he came to pass, he sat down to meet with them, and he took bread, and he broke it with them, and that was a time where he vanished out of their sight. But he's always sitting down with meals, and he's looking at them eye to eye, and there's conversation that is taking place.

And of course, most importantly, the Lord's table, the Lord's table, the Last Supper. The Last Supper was also the First Communion table. And that was the supper where you read that they were reclining around the table. They're sitting around, they're reclining around the table, and they're talking with each other. These things are important.

They're engaging in conversation and they're eating together. Don't let these things be lost. We need to return to scheduled daily times where the family meets together, to eat together, talk together, and read, you know, a passage of Scripture together. How many remember the old Johnny Cash song, The Family Bible? Remember that?

That was a nostalgic song. That was a lamentation. That song was a lamentation. It was lamenting that they had begun to get away from that. That was what, back in the 1970s maybe?

60s or 70s? They were getting away from it, But the lyrics capture how it was once in America, and we need to recapture it and not let it go again, and I'll read you the lyrics. It says, there's a family Bible on the table. It's pages worn and hard to read, but the family Bible on the table will ever be my key to memory." So he's lamenting, and at the same time, he's remembering how it used to be when he was a child. At the end of day, when work was over, here we go, there was a set time where the family gathered together.

And When the evening meal was done, they all gathered together for an evening meal. Dad would read to us from the family Bible, and we'd count our many blessings one by one. I can see us sitting around the table when, from the family Bible, Dad would read, and I can hear my mother softly singing, Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages, cleft for me." So it was family worship time. They read, they ate, they read from the Bible, and they sang. It's family worship.

That was understood as normal, regular American life. Now this old world of ours, it goes on, it says it's filled with trouble. What, in the 1960s and 70s you'd think it was full of trouble? What about now? Now this old world also better would be if we found more Bibles on the tables and mother singing rock of ages clef for me and look where we are today okay so set a time for the family table, require all the family members to be there.

Let it be a time for communing together, for discussion, for reclining, for relaxing, for relaxation, for resting in the word of God.