The sermon is part of a series called 'From the Womb to the Grave' which addresses various aspects of life. Today's sermon focuses on singleness and the challenges faced by single individuals. It emphasizes the importance of finding contentment and gratefulness in God's perfect design for each individual. The sermon also highlights the need for pastoral care and support for those who are single.

Brothers and sisters, today we are going to continue in our sermon series that we've been going through. I just want to say to those of you who are visiting, this is not our normal way of doing things. We actually have a practice of preaching through books of the Bible, making sure that we go through the Bible, Old and New Testament, and dealing with all the texts that God has given us. But we have decided to do this series because of all the importance of us having also to deal with the challenges in our world. So the series is called From the Womb to the Grave and it addresses really all the aspects of our lives, even before we are born in the mother's womb we are loved by God and so we spoke about that.

We spoke about children. We spoke about parenting. And today we will speak about singleness. And I want to start off by asking you to do something. So this is a mental exercise.

Strip away everything that you have. Everything. Your home, Your family, your health, everything. Strip it all away. Will you still be content in Christ Jesus?

Now add everything. Add everything that you can ever imagine will make your life the perfect, happy, enjoyable life that you want to live. Add everything that you can possibly imagine, and my question to you will be, will you be grateful? Because I think all of us find ourselves probably between these two extremes, where we don't have everything that we would like to have, and sometimes we have to admit that we have more than what we deserve. I think we all are there.

So today our sermon, or my sermon, is not going to concentrate on something that is controversial, like some of the other messages in this series have been, but it is one that is sadly particularly difficult for those it affects most. Even the word we use to describe this phase in our lives can provoke real heartache, And we should therefore allow the Word of God to speak clearly to us in this matter. We have to believe and we have to trust in God's perfect design for us. Together with his sovereign providence, The fact that God will always comfort us, to know that there is joy and fulfillment that only he can bring as we relate to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So I pray that for those who are struggling with this, that it would be turning your morning into gladness because there's a lot to be grateful for as we look at this topic.

The second thing I need to mention before we go on is this this message does obviously have a very narrow focus So some might think this does not apply to them directly. To you I want to ask to listen very carefully to this message because what applies to your brother or your sister in particular applies to you in general, as a matter of Christian love and care and service that we are called to do for one another. So we will be looking, as I said, at this topic singleness has a phase in our lives. It's a phase between the womb and the grave. We will see from Scripture that singleness does not define you.

Nor is it just a status that you carry or a sticker on your back. It's not, oh, there goes the single person. It's also not a permanent status—and I use the word that I just said, it doesn't apply to—but It's not a permanent thing, even if it might be a permanent thing for some in this world, because we as Christians, we are focused on the world to come. We are focused on the reality that you and I will one day be perfect in the Lord Jesus Christ. But it's also something that we need to realize gives us special opportunities and unique spiritual realities are being communicated through this phase in our lives.

So this does not take away from the deep loneliness that single people are having to endure. Among those who are single, there are those whom the Lord might call to singleness their whole lives. They are those who are young and single and yet they have the strong desire for companionship that might be driven also by a natural desire to get married. We also have older single people who might be worried that time is running out. Then we have those who are divorced, and their singleness carries with it an added amount of pain of the broken marriage.

And they are those who are widowed, who find themselves alone after losing someone who they were very close to. And I mention this because of the range of pastoral care that need to be shown in this difficult time that many people find themselves in. Brothers and sisters, we are called to love one another. We are called to bear one another's burdens, and we are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn. I know from experience that this is a sensitive topic, because in counseling I would often have to encourage men and women who struggle with singleness.

It can also be a reality that often reveals, or at least exposes, parts of our sinful nature. Not being able to rest in Christ, not being able to be content or grateful, or to find joy in our circumstances. And the other half of my counseling – you spend that with the single men and women, but guests with whom I spend the other half of my counseling. We're married couples. So on the one hand you have those single ones who so desperately want to get married because then life will be complete, and then you have those who are married and wish they were single.

Our nature, whether we are single or married, tends to be marked by discontentment, and we often can be resentful instead of grateful. No matter what our circumstances are, we are to pursue the will of God for us in whatever circumstances we might find ourselves in. Well more on this a little bit later, but turn with me to Genesis chapter 2 again. Genesis chapter 2 and we'll read from this 15 to 25. As you notice as we've gone through the sermon series we we struggle to get past Genesis chapter 3 because those first three chapters are setting up for us the whole way in which our lives are lived in God's world.

So in Genesis 2 verse 15 we read, the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and to keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man saying, you may surely eat of every tree of the garden but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat for in the day that you eat of that you shall surely die. And then the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone I will make him a helper fit for him. Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.

The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him so the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man And while he slept took one of the ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman, and brought her to the man. And then the man said, This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed. So, we have to start again in Genesis, where God created Adam, and then in verse 18 we read, then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him. If we take the verse or these verses on face value, and we should, We must conclude that man was created with a very distinct need for companionship. Adam named all the animals and yet after he named all the animals he looked around for someone like him, Someone that he needed and he could not find one, so the Lord God put Adam to sleep. And then from his side God took this rib and formed the woman for Adam.

And as we look at someone who is single, I would imagine the first question we need to answer then is this. Am I incomplete as a single person? Is there something fundamentally missing when I am single? Well, here's the answer. You waiting for this?

The answer is yes and no. Disappointing? So bear with me and wait for the glory to be revealed at the end. But it is true that there is a sense in which you and I always yearn for that companionship, always yearn for that helper, but it's also true that in Christ Jesus we can and should be content, because we have in him a real Savior who is close to us. But Genesis 2, let's go back there, teaches us that man is incomplete without his helper, without someone with whom he can share those intimate companionship, that relationship that talks things through, share our hearts.

And we need to say this, because beating around the bush at this point will not help us later when we come to the explanation that we find in God's Word when it comes to us being single. The desire in our hearts are to find a spouse, someone with whom we can share our lives with in a sweet and a meaningful relationship. This desire is natural and it comes from what we've just read here in Genesis chapter 2. God created us like that. So if this is true then what are we to think about ourselves when we are not married?

For most who are single that natural desire for companionship is still very much present and it is exactly that need not being met that then causes pain in their hearts. Now let's turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 that Andrew read for us, and we'll see the other side of how God's Word addresses this issue. We read again from verse 1 to 9, we read now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman, but because of the temptation of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over his own body but the husband does.

Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourself to prayer, but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this, I wish that all were as I am myself, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion so Paul starts here with this general statement in verse 1 that he says it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman Now he's not speaking of sexual intimacy within marriage. Verses 3 to 5 makes that clear, because there he addresses what happens within marriage.

What he's speaking about here is directly addressed to a man or a woman who is not married, verse 1. It is good for a man or a woman who are not married not to have sexual relations with one another. Now let's peel away every modern liberal idea of sex and singleness first. Because the prevailing worldview right now on this matter is simply this. It is good for someone to have sexual relations with anyone at any time.

A few years ago Jeremy and I went to Auckland Grammar School and they had a woman speaking there from Australia about sexual issues among young students at school. And the main thrust of her talk was, we need to protect our children, teach them to do these things safely, and then understand that they will do these things and we should kind of accept the fact that that's going to be the way it is. And I raised my hand and I asked the question, what about abstinence? And I was laughed at. Because the world doesn't think in those terms, the world doesn't think that God has created the world in a certain way for us to function within that world to receive the blessings that God has prepared for us in marriage.

The world expects our young boys and girls to experiment. God expects them to keep themselves pure. What do you think this looks like then after they have gone through high school, college, and end up in university and suddenly all the restraints and restrictive grace afforded to them by their families are gone? How do you think they will act in that phase of their lives? You see, we cannot escape that sexual desires are real.

The hormones are obviously very active at that age, more than later on in your life. And the opportunities, as well as the social acceptance of this sin the Bible calls fornication, are all working together to convince young men and young women that it's natural, that it's acceptable, and that it's even good to go against God's will. If you find yourself in this phase of life as a single person, I want to ask you this morning to consider God's Word in this matter and to stop listening to what the world teach you. Do not choose sin. Do not let the lie of Satan and the deceitfulness of your own heart cause you to sin against God.

Many will tell you to just do it safely, they might even warn you about the possibility of getting pregnant, but how many will tell you this is not honoring God's perfect will for your life? That's where we as Christians land. It's not a matter of is this convenient or not convenient, is it good or not good, it is, will this please my God who created me? You remember our premise for this whole series? This is God's world, We are created by God and we live in his world.

We are designed according to God's wisdom. We should therefore live according to God's revealed will and we should joyfully submit ourselves to his divine rule and when we do that, brothers and sisters, blessings await. Joy, satisfaction, contentment, gratitude. We all need to learn the life-saving skill of tuning our model radios to the right station. Now you young folk, you probably won't get this illustration, but let me give it anyway, because we are older folk.

You remember driving in the car, you had to try to change the radio station, you had to go and there was an actual physical knob you had to turn and then you go on the pothole roads and struggle and then you go you know static, static until you find a radio station and there's a place where you can still hear, here I'm on the right track but I'm not there yet, minute little alterations in order to get the perfect radio station and then you go, that's it, and then you go through a tunnel and on the other side you have to do it all over again. You guys are, you really have it easy, you just get Spotify premium. No ads, nothing, you're just blinking, you're there where you want to be. I think we need to look at our Christian lives like this and ask ourselves if I want to be on God's station, forgive the analogy, but if we want to be in sync, in harmony with God's will for my life, I need to tune my life according to the station that has prepared for me. And dear young people, God's perfect will for you is to keep yourself pure and holy for him.

Do not involve yourself in sexual immorality. There's a wonderful verse, it's in 1 Thessalonians, I think it's 4 or 5, sorry, I don't have my notes, but you know it, where the question is asked, how do I know the will of God? And the answer is, keep yourself pure from sexual immorality. Do you want to know God's will this morning? There's God's will.

So why don't we then, as young people and as single people in particular, why don't we look at this thing and we say, I want to obey God. I want to be right with him. I am not going to fall for the temptations and the distractions that this world places in front of me, I'm going to be different. Now let's go back to 1st Corinthians 7, because Paul goes on and he says in verse 2, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. You see, it is good not to have sexual relations with a woman outside of marriage.

Yes, Paul makes that clear. But he says a remedy to fight against temptations is actually to find a wife or a husband and to have that one wife and that one husband is yours. And Paul makes it so clear that this is a one-man one-woman relationship to seek. He says each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. In verse three and five he now goes on to give specific commands as to how a husband and his wife should fulfill their sexual duties to each other within marriage.

The three, a husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband. Well, the Bible doesn't beat around the bush. He says that there is this innate need and desire within our physical bodies to have this kind of intimacy. And God says the only way in which you can honor that is within marriage. That's the only place that God allows that to happen.

And then he turns to the person who's not married in verse 6 and 9 because if this is where God has given us the blessing of intimacy then what should I do if I'm not there what if I am NOT married What if I'm single and I do not have my own husband, my own wife? Well, he goes, verse 6, he says now, As a concession, not a command, I say this, I wish that all were as myself. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." I just love the honesty. Paul says it is good to be single.

He says it is right to be single, but it's also right to be married. He goes later on, we'll get there, where he says it is not a sin to be married and it's not a sin to be unmarried. Both, in the eyes of God, are good because there is a relationship that can be met and satisfied in our relationship that we have with God. In both. So let's get back then for a second to Genesis 2 verse 18.

Because we read there it is not good that the man should be alone. How will make him a helper fit for him? So is Paul now contradicting God in Genesis? Well, no. And I love the way that Paul writes 1 Corinthians 7.

Andrew mentioned it in advance when he was preparing to read this. He said, isn't it interesting how Paul uses words to say, this is what I say, this is directly from God, this is a concession, this is not a command. Why does Paul do that? It is because we do not find in scripture commandments regarding singleness until we come to this place, do we? We only find that God has created us as human beings who are yearning for this companionship.

So we don't have in the laws of Moses, this is what you should do, you know, stay single, get married. It is kind of assumed that most people will get married, and rightly so. But Paul recognizes now that he finds himself as a man who is living his life as a single man in service of God, and he will mention for us here several things that relate to singleness that makes it a valid and a and a completing experience as it were to live as a human being so let's go through them number one he says this is a concession and not a command there's wisdom in being single when the circumstances demands it. He will work through that. Number two, he puts it forward as a gift from God and I love how he does it again.

He says if you are married how should you see your marriage? As a gift of God. If you are single how should you view that? As a gift of God. Both are given to you by the Providence of God who is sovereign and good.

Number three, he revisits the self-control issue and he states that if it is a matter of burning with passion, then rather get married. We don't have to describe what's happening there, we understand. If you are close to someone and there is passions, rather get married than to sin. Rather get married and find the blessing that God has prepared for you there than to be single and burn with passion. Number four, he then places the argument in the context of contentment, and this is where we are where we are moving towards.

Look at verse 17, It says, only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. How did I start the sermon? What if everything will be taken away from you? What if there's nothing left?

What if you're the only person left on this planet? No one to relate to will you be content in Christ Jesus? I know it's hypothetical, but I think we need to answer that question. Be content with what you have. And that doesn't come natural to us, does it?

I always want more, I always want different. Like I said, that's my counseling to most married couples who have problems. Be content. It's not easy to be content when you're single. But it is a gift that God has given you, and we need to learn how to be content in all things.

Number five, he also discusses the issue of the wisdom to stay single in a time of persecution. This is very real to Paul and the church in Corinth. Look at verse 26 to 27, it says, I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do you seek to be free?

Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. Whatever circumstance you are in, in a time of distress or persecution, Paul says it's a valid reason, it's a wise thing to do, maybe not to get married, because of the consequences of what persecution might have on you and your family. We all watch the war movies. Guess what they focus on?

You know, that man and that girl who just need to get married before he goes off to war. And what happens? He goes off to war and the poor wife is all alone without her husband, she's married, but he's off to war fighting wars and battles and bullets are flying and she's sitting there worrying about him. Well, it looks romantic and I guess some can make that decision, there's no rule, there's no command like Paul says, but it does make sense to say maybe it's not the best time in a time of war or a time of distress or a time of persecution. Paul says each to his own year make a wise decision.

Paul then mentions the obvious practical realities of being married and being unmarried. When I was still not married to Masha, I was living in Russia, later met Masha from Russia. And it was so easy as a missionary, I lived in St Petersburg and if I heard there's an opportunity to go to Siberia, guess what I did? I went to the train station, bought a ticket and off I went. I could be gone for months.

Now if I want to go to the shop I need to ask Masha. Life changed. You see the difference? As a married man or as a married person you have a duty to communicate with your husband or your wife. Look at what Paul says here in in verse 32.

He says, I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord, but the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife. She needs new shoes, she needs a hairdo, she needs food on the table, She needs things that I must provide. And his interests are divided. I need to serve God, I want to give my whole life to him, now I have to give my life to him in marriage, taking into consideration that my wife needs me.

And the unmarried or the betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. Let me ask you, if you are there, are you anxious about the things of the Lord your body holy to the Lord set apart but the married woman is anxious about worldly things how to please her husband And then finally he goes on to where we all need to go, he goes to the gospel and he speaks about devotion to God And it is here where no matter what your circumstances are, whether you are married or not married, it's the same. Look at verse 35, he says, I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Now it's not only Paul who deals with this topic, Jesus himself deals with it, so turn to Matthew chapter 19 and you'll see that both Jesus and Paul is concerned about sexual purity. Verse 8 of Matthew chapter 19 we read, he said to them, because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. The disciples said to him, if such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. But he said to them, Not everyone can receive the saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who's able to receive this receive it." I say this morning in our prayer time, this is the only place in the gospels where Jesus twice say, if you're able to receive this receive it.

This is difficult. Jesus is teaching about marriage and divorce in this passage, and he makes it clear that divorce is only a thing because Moses allowed it as a result of the hardness of their hearts. It's because of sin. So Jesus now says, whoever divorce his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. So the disciples listen to him and they say, well that means that all the other reasons we give for divorce in our society means that I am committing the sin of adultery.

Wouldn't it therefore not be better, they say, not to get married at all, not to risk at all, so that I may not commit the sin of adultery. I love the way they think we should learn from them, because their worldview is this is the law of God and I must align myself and submit myself to his law, and if it means that I can commit adultery maybe I shouldn't get married at all. I like the way they think at least in their relationship to the law. But Jesus then answers them and he says not everyone can receive the saying but only those to whom it is given, for they are eunuchs who have been so from birth and they are eunuchs made by men and they are those who chose it for themselves so that they can serve in the kingdom of God. The two points that both Paul and Jesus are making are these.

Marriage is sacred and should be kept pure. Single people have particular sexual temptations that they should fight against and if they can't then it is better for them to get married. Okay, well that's the warning part. That's one part of the deal. Let's now get to the pastoral part.

Both Jesus and Paul, as they deal with this topic, make the point that in your singleness you have a particular duty accompanied by special privileges and opportunities. You can serve God in a way that married people can't. We all share the same duty, whether you're married or unmarried, give yourself a living sacrifice pleasing unto the Lord, but the single person is free and they have the opportunity to do so uninterrupted by the affairs and the duties associated by marriage. So let the one who is able to receive this receive it. Use your singleness for the glory of God.

The Bible doesn't promise that you will get what you want. None of us do. Even in marriage this is true. Adam got his Eve, you remember? He got his Eve.

He even sang a song. He says this is lost at last. It's bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh That's chapter 2 Chapter 3 he changed his tune the woman you gave me a different song You see our hearts are never satisfied. We're always living in discontent. What God sovereignly decrees for us, whether it is marriage or a phase of being single, and whether you are single by divorce, by the death of a spouse, or someone who never got married, know this, and listen, God is with you.

Do you believe that? God is with you. He knows you far better than anyone could ever know you. We should not make this statement out to be anything less than the glorious truth that this is. God is with you.

He even calls himself Immanuel. God is with you. And if our deepest human need is companionship, they know that even if you do not have that in marriage, you must know that you have that in Christ. And I know, I know some of you might be sitting there thinking, well I'm single and I don't feel it. I get it.

But know this by faith that God knows you. He knows your needs. He knows your heart. He knows your desires. And he by his Holy Spirit will minister to your soul because he loves you now I don't want to make this sound like that Jesus is my boyfriend cult because some do that some say that's all you need you know you're married to Jesus well yes you are if you're in Christ, he's your husband.

But we cannot deny the fact that our human companionship that we yearn for is still real. We have to accept God's sovereignty, we have to have a submissive heart, gratitude, contentment, with all the blessings that we have in Christ Jesus, but still emotionally we struggle. Remember, marriage according to God's word is temporal, so is your singleness. Even if it lasts your whole life long, There won't be marriage in heaven. It's gone.

I hope not all of you are rejoicing over that fact. I think we should we should thank God that there's something even better than marriage. In the greatest scheme of eternity your eyes should be fixed on Jesus Christ now, in his glory. My final word. If God has so much to say about marriage and singleness, then we must also add to that the many promises of God as to how his love and his grace ministers to broken hearts.

Loneliness is a very difficult thing to deal with. You know you can be in a crowd of a thousand and feel that you're the only one on the face of the earth. It's not a sin to be lonely, but it could lead to sin. It could lead to discontentment, to resentment, to ungratefulness, to impatience, to apathy, and it can even lead to sexual sin. Dear brothers and sisters, I want us all to be far more sensitive to the spiritual dangers that our single brothers and sisters are facing, but also to have this true Christ-like love for them.

A single divorced man or woman might be carrying so many scars, scars of abuse, of guilt, of regret. They might be carrying all those things with emotional trauma and now they have to deal with loneliness on top of that? Or are widows and widowers? They've been joined together with a spouse they deeply and sincerely loved. Now they don't have them anymore.

We tend to forget about them. We're so busy with our own lives, our own pain, that we can be so insensitive to theirs. And what about that young man or young woman who so desperately want to get married, imagine the pressure and the fear they carry around with them, especially the girls, because they are waiting for godly men to come around and ask them to marry them. This is where I usually get in trouble. Men, step up, be godly men, look around, pursue godly wise for yourself, marry in the Lord, Do not go in places where you shouldn't.

Find a woman who loves the Lord Jesus Christ with all her heart. Find a worthy spouse, One who is godly, who loves Christ. God's word makes it crystal clear that you should not be unequally yoked. Oh, but it's so tough for me. It's so difficult.

I'm burning with passion. Oh, I cannot find a good husband or a good wife. Man, do I have empathy and sympathy. But do not go against God's will in this matter. He has something planned for you.

It might be a husband or a wife or it might not, but he has you in his heart. He loves you and you can live a complete, happy, satisfied life in Christ Jesus, no matter your circumstances. But I'm talking now to the church. Are you praying for them? Are you praying for the single boys and girls in our church who struggle?

Are you praying for the widows, the divorced, who struggle with loneliness, who even go from this church meeting and they go home and there's no one? Are you opening your eyes to them and ask, should I maybe invite them for lunch? Should I maybe get into their lives and ask them how they're doing? And be a friend and a Christian brother and sister, helping to carry their burdens with them. Isn't that what the church is called to do?

Pray, because I can tell you that they are discipled by the world and they find themselves constantly walking the dangerous brittle path of temptation. But to us all, married or unmarried, here it is. Please learn to be content. Learn to be grateful. While you seek to bring much glory to God who is good.

Amen.