In 'The Blessed Marriage (Part 3)', Steve Hopkins explores Ephesians 5:22-30, emphasizing how marriage is a divine instrument for personal sanctification. He highlights the scriptural model of marriage, which reflects the relationship between Christ and the church, where wives are called to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. The sermon underscores the importance of mutual respect and love, encouraging couples to view marriage as a sanctifying process that conforms them to the image of Christ. Discussions should be constructive, not devolving into endless arguments, and God's word provides guidance for every marital situation. Hopkins advises practical steps such as daily prayer, reading scripture, and nurturing a servant-hearted love, drawing parallels between Christ's sacrificial love and the responsibilities of a husband. He stresses that the strengths and weaknesses in a spouse are divinely ordained to aid in personal growth, urging couples to embrace their roles without contingencies, focus on personal obedience to God, and rely on divine grace for a blessed marriage.

Let's stand together for the reading of the Word of the Lord, Ephesians chapter 5. Let's read verses 22 through 30 together, and then we will go forward. Let's read together the word of the Lord. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife, loveeth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the Church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Let's pray. Father, high above the whole world, you are great and greatly to be praised, And we ask that you might be pleased, O God, once again in this hour to give the spirit to them that ask in accord with your word, and build up your church, and conform us in this time more to the image and character of Christ. For we ask it in His holy name. Amen. Let's be seated.

Today's message is part three in the series, The Blessed Marriage, The Blessed Marriage, which we began a couple weeks ago. And before we review last week's message this afternoon for the sake of those who were out, I want you to know where we're headed. Because what I'm going to ask everyone to do in just a few minutes is to consider something, to consider the providence of God and the purpose of God and the kindness of God and the mercies of God in bringing you personally into the bond of marriage with that particular man or woman who is sitting next to you right now in this church house because God didn't make a mistake. In God's providence, in accord with His purpose for you, in His kindness, on account of His mercies which endure forever, God brought you into the bond of marriage with your particular spouse not only because it's not good for a man to be alone, as we read in Genesis 2 18, not only for companionship, which he does in Malachi 2 14, he speaks of that, not only because of his purpose for mankind to be fruitful and multiply and bear children and fill the earth and subdue the earth to his glory, Genesis 1 26, not only as a guard against sexual immorality as we read in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 of verse 2, but also for your personal sanctification, for your personal conformity to the image of Christ, for your personal growth in holiness.

But before we go to the sanctifying purpose and effect of marriage, In our last session we went through Ephesians 22 through 30 verse by verse, and I said if a husband and a wife were stranded on a desert island and they had only the passage before us that we just read from the Bible and nothing else to guide them. They could have a blessed marriage. They could have a God-honoring marriage. They could have a happy, joyful, a peaceful, loving marriage. And then I said, no matter the particular situation a husband and a wife may find themselves in, please hear me, no matter the situation that they may find themselves in, no matter the particular circumstance, no matter the controversy that is at hand, or even the conflict.

The passage before us that we just read provides husbands and wives with clear guidance to navigate every situation and every circumstance of married life in a way that is pleasing to God and that honors God as a husband and wife seek to model the true marriage, which is Christ and His church. And I said, you know, if you've been at this church, we're in a Bible church very long, you've heard me say there should never be arguments in marriage, in a marriage. It's controversy, you walk into your local mega church and they're gonna be like, what? There shouldn't be, husbands and wives should never argue. And that of course, understanding that there is a difference between discussions and arguments, okay?

Discussions have an end while arguments go on and on and on and there is no end. They end in disagreement, they end many times in conflict, they end in turmoil, they end in pain, they end in no resolution. But that's not God's plan for married couples who are to live out the picture of Christ in his church. And I said, think about it, how could there possibly be arguments, that is, controversies that are never ending in a marriage where a husband and a wife are living out the relationship between Christ and his church moment by moment, day by day. Where a husband is act as consciously and actively loving his wife as Christ also loved his church, Ephesians 5 25, and where a wife is consciously and actively submitting to her husband as under the Lord, Ephesians 5 22.

How could there be? The issue is not that God's word is somehow deficient or insufficient for us. The issue is that we still have sin in us to deal with, indwelling sin. Does everyone get that? God's word has the answers, but we still have sin in us to deal with, indwelling sin.

Does everyone get that? God's Word has the answers, but we still have sin in us to deal with. And so, God gives us the solution. He brings us back to a place where there can be peace in a marriage, in every conceivable situation of a marriage. If we would only, by His grace and leaning upon Christ and with God's aid and the aid of his Spirit, put his Word into practice.

God has provided us in the text before us a remedy that is applicable to every conceivable situation, controversy, or circumstance of married life. And I said last week, no one's ever given me a circumstance or a situation where they say, well, that's outside of that. God, there's no way in this situation that that could apply. No, it will apply. Husbands as Christ is to the church, so be to your wives.

Wives, as the church is to Christ, so be to your husbands. So very, very simple. It doesn't take a stack of marriage manuals to figure it out. And I'm not saying here that, you know, I said this is a remedy. I'm not saying that the medicine is always easy to swallow.

Many times it isn't. Only that it is effective. I didn't say this last week but husbands, let me just throw this in here, husbands, I think we have to take the lead here, okay? When there are moments of tension that turn into minutes of tension, Sometimes we need to just stop and say, honey, I think I need to take a few minutes right now and read Ephesians 22 through 33 and pray. Sometimes, husbands, we need to just stop when there's that moment of tension.

You know it's there. You know what's going on. To just stop and say, honey, I need to stop right now and read Ephesians 5 22 through 33 and pray because I want to make sure that I'm modeling Christ's love for His church toward you right now. Would you be willing to do the same thing. And then after we've both read these passages and prayed alone, get back together and pick up where we left off.

And of course, of course, your godly wife will say, sure, honey. She'll respond, sure, honey. I want to make sure that I'm submitting to you as Christ submits to his church, so absolutely. So in the last session, we walk through these verses and we began with wives because Paul begins with wives and verse 22 don't ask me why but he does and don't ask me why he speaks to wives far less than he does to to husbands I don't know the answer to that exactly except that husbands are to lead and husbands are accountable but we began with verse 22 wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. And I said, submission, that word is a yielding to the will or authority of another.

Paul is saying in this passage, wives willingly, voluntarily do this, submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord. And I said notice that this is not a forced subjugation. This is a voluntary submission. This is not a husband using force of words or bringing down a hammer, but a wife voluntarily yielding to her husband's authority. That's what's presented here.

And Paul says this submission is to be as unto the Lord, that is, in the same manner as to Christ, quote-unquote, in the words of Calvin from the 1500s. And I said one thing I think that it's helpful for wives here is to remember that your submission to the authority of your husband is ultimately an act of obedience to God. So in that moment of frustration, you can just stop and say to yourself, this is ultimately between me and Christ, not just me and my husband. In that moment of tension, in that moment of where you're struggling with your flesh, if you can look past an imperfect husband, if you can look past an imperfect husband to a perfect Christ, You can say to yourself, this is hard, I'm struggling with this right now, but I'm going to lovingly yield to my husband's headship as an act of obedience to God. I'm going to I'm going to do this as an act of obedience to God.

I mean, as a wife, you may say, I don't even feel this. I can't even get there. I'm upset, but I'm gonna submit to my husband's headship as an act of obedience to God and thereby mirror the church's submission to Christ and know that in doing so I can safely trust God's Word that it's all going to be okay. It will be well. Verse 23 goes on, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.

Husbands and wives will inevitably have disagreements, but after a husband and wife discuss things together, if there's not agreement, someone has to make a final decision. Maybe finances, maybe schooling, maybe curriculum, maybe any number of things, right? What books to bring into the house? What movies you're gonna watch or present before your children or not watch? There has to be someone who makes the final decision.

There has to be a head, there has to be a final authority, and the husband by God's ordination being the head of his wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, shoulders that responsibility. And the consequences. So you submit to your husband and he makes these decisions, well now the consequences are also his to bear. You see, so it keeps going back to, be careful, men, husbands, and then Paul says, and he is the Savior of the body. Speaking of Christ, after the example of Christ, husbands are to be the protectors of and the providers for their wives.

More on that when we get to the men. Verse 24, therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. That's pretty heavy. As the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands, not to all men, but to their own husbands in everything. Now What is he saying here?

That is in everything lawful. If a husband, for instance, demands that a wife do something that is against God's law or against the laws of the land, she's bound by the word of God to disobey her husband, right? Everyone understands that? Hey, honey, go with me and we're going to go whatever, break this law, do this thing. No, no, she has to disobey.

Or something within the family that is outside of God's word that she knows this is a violation of God's word, I cannot participate in this. She's bound to disobey. But in all things lawful, a wife is to be subject to her husband. A husband's leading may be difficult to follow at times, and her husband may even be making what turns out to be a bad decision. All of us do that.

But as long as a husband isn't forbidding his wife to do something God commands or commanding her to do something God forbids, she should be subject to her husband. So that's it for the wives. It's this much and then the men is like, right? Verse 25, Paul turns his attention to husbands. Husbands, love your wives.

How? Even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for you. See how these things are both impossibilities without the aid of the Holy Spirit, without God's divine supernatural aid to help us? How could a wife submit to her husband as unto the Lord? How can a husband love his wife as Christ loved the church?

Impossible without the aid, without the help, without supernatural power of the Holy Spirit. He says the love of a husband for his wife should model the love of Christ for his bride, the church, and that and this is no ordinary love. That's Calvin. This is no ordinary love. For them, that is husbands to the husbands, he holds out the example of Christ and he says, if husbands would bear Christ's image and be in some measure Christ's representatives, they ought to resemble Christ also in the discharge of this duty toward their wives.

Husbands, love your wives. Jesus said, as I love the church, I said in the last session, I can think of a few things sadder than a woman who's married but not loved. Proverbs chapter 30 says, under three things the earth shakes, Under three things the earth trembles, and under four it cannot bear up, one of which is an unloved woman when she gets a husband. It's earth-shaking sadness. I quoted or I mentioned Bunyan's allegory, Pilgrim's Progress, where you have this guy whose name is talkative and he's said quote to be an angel abroad and the devil at home everyone has a good impression of the man out in public you know because his wife is discreet and always wears a smile But how sad the life of the wife who knows deep down that she's not truly loved by her husband, her husband.

And brothers, our love for our wives is communicated by our words and by our actions and by our attitudes. You might say right now, I love my wife, but as Christ loves his church. I said in our last session, if we would learn how to love our wives as Christ loved the church, we need to study Him. We need to study Christ because the love of a husband for his wife is supposed to model love of Christ to his bride the church. And I gave eight examples of Christ's love for his church, of how Christ loves his church, and made application to husbands.

First, the love of Christ for his church is an exclusive love, a love that is for his wife and for his wife alone, a love that excludes all others. I read a note in my Bible commentary that said a husband should give his special love exclusively to one woman, his wife. And brothers, our wives should sense that, that our love is exclusively for them. My beloved is mine and I am his, the church says in Song of Solomon 2 16. She knows it.

If we would imitate Christ's exclusive love for his bride the church, we will not only exclude all others from that special love, but we will have eyes for our wives and none other. And we live in an age, in a time where this is violated, I think more than any other age in the history of the world. Of course, with the internet, right? Song of Solomon, again, thou has ravished my heart with one of your eyes, with one chain of thy neck. That's the way it should be, and our wives should know that.

They should know that. Jesus said to look on any one other than one's wife with desire is adultery of the heart. It's a it's a mental adultery and let me just stop here for a moment and say brothers if your eyes are wondering to the slightest degree Don't brush it off as a small thing to the slightest degree. Don't brush it off as a small thing. To the slightest degree, don't brush it off.

Our example is Christ. And notice I'm not talking about pornography here. You know, if you're looking at pornography, And just to quote Paul Washer, you haven't even made it to the first rung of Christianity. I'm talking about a second glance. You know, if you're going to battle something, you've got to bring it back to the line, to the closest line and deal with it there.

And of course that's the heart, right? But if you say, well you know, I don't use pornography, okay, but what's between here and pornography? Jesus said to look with desire, with lustful desire upon a woman is to commit adultery with her in your own heart. Before, guys, while you're married and before you're married, Augustine talked about there were very few young men who are immoral, sexually immoral before they're married who are not sexually immoral after they're married. So I'm talking about moving the battle line back to the second glance, you notice something, the second glance or the first long glance, away from your wife and toward another.

The Puritan Thomas Watson said, a small breach in the sea bank, Imagine this, a small breach in the dam that's holding back all of the water will eventually carry all before it. You cannot trifle with sin. You cannot trifle with a lust to any degree. It has to be killed and it has to be mortified. Paul said, except you mortify your lusts, you will die.

The person who lives in sexual immorality on and on and on and on and on. What evidence do they have for themselves that they truly know Christ and are on their way to heaven? When you have the apostle Paul saying that fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God, fornicators from the word pornea, from which we get the modern English word pornography. Again, Thomas Watson, if the serpent whines in his head, he will draw in his whole body afterwards. You can't say, well, I'm just going to play with this a little bit.

A glance here, a look here, a long look here, a second glance there, no. Young men again, if your heart is in such a place that you can't control your eyes now, what makes You think you'll be able to control your eyes after you're married. People are seduced with all kinds of these notions. They're just not true. Just not true.

Another Puritan, John Owen, gave some of the most helpful guidance I've ever heard concerning the mortification of sin. So listen to this, men and women, listen to this as well. This is not limited only to men. He said, set faith at work. This is from his book, The Mortification of Sin.

Set faith at work on Christ for the killing of your sin. His blood is the great sovereign remedy for sin-sick souls. Live in this and you will die a conqueror. And through the great, through the good providences of God, you will live to see your lust dead at your feet. Brothers and sisters, it is by looking to Christ and Him crucified for that very thing that we are tempted to do that we have power to resist.

Christ and Him crucified. I didn't initially mean to go that long there, hopefully this is helpful for some. Back to this, does your wife sense that your eyes are upon her and her alone? Second, the love of Christ for his bride, the church is a faithful love. And I went through the traditional marriage vows.

You know, they used to say, and I said this, and many of you did, as your marriage vows, to have, I vow to have and to hold you and another from this day forward for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in joy and sorrow, in sickness and health, no matter what happens, to love, to honor, and to cherish you until we're parted by death. The love of Christ for his bride, the church, is a love that does not forsake her nor leave her alone no matter the trials of life. Can you say that to your wife? Look into your wife's eyes and say that, I will not leave you, neither will I forsake you, come what may. I don't care what happens in this life, I don't care what happens to me, I don't care what trial we are put through, I'm not going anywhere.

He has said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee, Hebrews 13.5. Does your wife sense that? Is she secure in that? Oh, there's nothing again more painful when I think about it than an unloved wife or an insecure wife not knowing, Is he here for me always? Third, it is a self-sacrificing love.

Hereby we perceive the love of God because he laid down his life for us. Christ laid down his life for his church and husbands are called upon to sacrifice for their wives, to sacrifice their time, to sacrifice their resources, and to sacrifice even their own lives for their wives if necessary. If a man bolted into that back door, you know, right now and started spraying the congregation with bullets, I should run, I should run and cover my wife's body with my own, right? Or if I'm in the pulpit, I should run toward the aggressor, attempting to distract him from my wife and towards myself and absorb as many bullets as I can as I try to take him down. That would be my responsibility as Christ to His church.

But listen men, that's easy, right? That's easy. A moment like that happens and That's easy. It's just, of course that's what I'm going to do. Of course that's what you're going to do.

You're going to lay your wife, your body before your wife, and you're going to die and not her, if you can do it. You're going to die trying. That's easy. On the other hand, dying once to save our wives is easier than dying daily to ourselves. Did everyone get that?

Dying once, making a heroic effort to run and protect your wife in some dangerous situation, that's easier than dying daily to ourselves. Putting our wives' needs and wants and desires ahead of our own on a daily and moment-by-moment basis. That's the goal. How many men besides me need help in that area or need assistance and need further progress and there's sanctification in that area? He says, hereby we perceive the love of God.

Why? Because He laid down His life for us. And hereby our wives perceive our love for them. When we lay our lives down for them. What sacrifices are you making for your wife?

What sacrifices am I making for my wife? These are questions we who are husbands need to be asking ourselves. Fourth, the love of Christ for the church is a servant-hearted love. Jesus said the Son of Man didn't come to be served but to serve. Matthew 20 28.

Fourth, the love of Christ is a servant-hearted love. The Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve." Jesus said in Luke 22, 27, I am among you as he that serveth. I asked men who were here last week, when you get up and go to work in the morning, is it with your wife in mind? Is it with your family in mind if you have children? Jesus didn't come to be served but to serve.

And I think it matters, you know, in everything that we're doing. What am I doing this for? Why am I getting out of bed? Jesus didn't come to be served but to serve. Many husbands work to pursue the next toy for themselves.

I'm working so I can get the boat, honey, the jet ski, the AR-15 that I've been wanting, the next personal pleasure maybe. Well, the husband who seeks the model of Christ goes to work with his wife and children in mind. What drives him to rise day after day after day and work by the sweat of his brow and endure the pressures of his employment and they're all different is his wife. And if he has children, his children, providing a home and food and clothing for them, that's what gets him up in the morning. And there are mornings when he gets up and says, I wouldn't do this for me, But I'd do this for her.

And that kind of man is rare. Fifth, it's a love that listens. Christ listens to his church. We see Jesus listening to his disciples and taking time to answer their questions in Mark 9 28 to 29 and many places in the New Testament. He listens.

Now listen doesn't always mean agreeing. Some people think you're not listening you're not agreeing but no listening is giving that time sitting down you're that time hearing your wife and her concerns and her needs and the things that are on her mind, listening, listening, listening. Sixth, it's a love that's patient and understanding. Christ is patient with his bride, the church. We see Jesus exercising great patience with his disciples in Matthew 20 through 28 and so many other places.

He's patient. He's putting up with things you know that maybe he didn't want to put up with in their continual questioning. He's patient. He's patient. He exemplifies all of the one and others of Scripture perfectly.

Love is patient, Love is kind. It's not proud. It's not puffed up. Seventh, the love of Christ for his church is a love that is not conditioned on his wife's behavior or performance at any given time. He doesn't love the church more when she's more pleasing to him or less when she's less pleasing to him.

His love is constant. It's constant. Christ's love for his church is constant, unchanging, the same yesterday, today, and forever. That's the kind of love we must imitate toward our wives. Romans 5, 8 tells us that he commends that love to us, quote, in that while we were yet sinners, he died for us.

Finally, number eight, love of Christ for his bride, the church is a love from which we will never be separated, his people, his bride will never be separated. Do our wives sense that from us as well? Nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 835, and nothing will be able to separate you from my love again. Can you look in your wife's eyes and say that nothing will be able to separate you from, with God's grace, leaning upon God's grace, nothing will be able to separate you from my love.

We ended with that last week. Husbands love your wives because Christ loved the church. He gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse his bride with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. What's he talking about? Speaking of Christ's loving grace and sanctifying His church and cleansing her, He wants her to be holy.

He doesn't want her to get off track. One of the ways in which we model Christ in this is by attending not only to our own sanctification and growth and holiness which we should never be ever doing but also being concerned for the spiritual growth and sanctification of our wives. Husbands you are the spiritual leaders of your household and Paul says here this is done by the washing of water by the Word. And I'll ask you a question. And you know when the elders talk to the men after church and every week we have a man, we talk to one of the men back here because We want to make sure of things.

We want the households and we want the families to be solid in the church. We want the marriages to be grounded and to be solid. And we want to help where there is any situation where that is not the case. And we ask them, husbands, fathers, are you opening the Bible with your wife every day? Someone told me about it 23 years ago.

And Sandra and I, we didn't have 16 children back then, we do now, but we had, I don't know, maybe seven or eight kids or whatever. But someone told me, you know, asked me the same question. You guys, you do family worship? It's like, well, it's sporadic. I don't do it every day.

How can you be obedient to the word of God to wash your wife of the word, as we read in Ephesians 5, or to Deuteronomy 6-7 concerning your children, where you're commanded to teach your children, God's word, when you rise up, when you lie down, and throughout the day, continually bring things back to God, how can you be doing that? I guess I can't, And I guess I should, and so we did. And 23 years later, here we are still doing it. You know, with six adults still at home, looking to be married. So, we're told Christ sanctifies and cleanses his bride, the church, with the washing of water by the word.

Are you opening the scriptures with your wife and family every day you're commanded to? And listen to this brothers when you wash your wife and the word guess what you get a bath too at the same time Because you can't be opening the scriptures with your wife unless you know what you're talking about So it forces you to have to get into the Word and find out what in the world is this talking about. So when you open the Word you're like, okay, and you're explaining it to your family. You're the spiritual leader. And at the same time, of course, it gives your wife an opportunity to practice submitting to your spiritual leadership.

I'm gonna sit and listen to him. And there's some wives that know more theologically than their husbands do. But they're still supposed to sit and listen to their husbands lead because Christ is the head of man and man is the head of the woman. That's the way that order goes. So, you know, children also, they get an opportunity to practice sitting still and listening to their fathers, which prepares them for the meetings of the church on Sunday.

A man like 20 years ago, some of you heard me tell this, he calls me one day and says, hey, can we have lunch? I said, yes. He was in the church 20 something years ago. And so this is about, I don't know how many years ago now, five, six years ago. And he said, we got there and we sat down for lunch.

He said, hey, I just want to thank you. And he had tears in his eyes. I want to thank you and the elders of this church. Why? He said, because you guys turned me on to family worship and I started opening the scriptures of my family every day and it set my family on a rock, on the rock.

He said, and it's the most, it's the most, looking back the most important thing, change that's ever been made in my wife and my family's life ever. You've probably heard this before many times, the family that prays together stays together. Well the family that opens the Word of God together and prays together and sings the praises of God together stays together. You want your family to stay together? The whole world has a bull's eye on your forehead, your foreheads to try to bring down your family and destroy your family.

Satan started it from the beginning, from the very beginning of the book of Genesis. We see his attacks, attacks, attacks. No sooner does Adam wake up and he's got a wife, whoa, you know, than Satan attacks. Who? Through the wife, you know, he went through the wife.

At any rate, I believe that daily family worship time is a thing that keeps marriages and families together more than anything else. Men sacrifice your hobbies, sacrifice prosperity, sacrifice your buddies, sacrifice your buddies, but don't sacrifice your wife and your children. Open the word with them every day. Love them as your own body. He that loves his wife loves himself.

I made the case Last week that there cannot be any Contingencies how many heard that no one talking about there can't be any contingencies there There's no contingencies in God's kingdom, right? So you can't, when you look at these passages, a husband and a wife, you can't look at these passages and say, well, I understand what is required of me. I'm to love my wife as Christ loves his church. The wife says, I'm supposed to submit to my husband as unto the Lord. I understand what's required of me, but I'll start loving my wife as Christ loves the church when she starts submitting to me as unto the Lord.

It doesn't work that way. Or the wife says, I'll start submitting to my husband as the church is to submit to Christ. When my husband starts loving me as Christ loved the church, it doesn't work that way. In all things you have to do with God. Husband's your Christ-like love for your wife and laying down your life for her is not contingent on her meeting your standard of what it means to submit to you.

You have to do with God. And wife, your submission to your husband is not contingent on your husband meeting your standard of what it means for him to love you as Christ loves the church. You have to do with God. This is ultimately between a husband and God and a wife and God. And husbands, as you fulfill your role to love your wives as Christ loves the church, and wives as you fulfill your role of submitting to your husbands as under the Lord, again, be looking to Christ all the time.

You need, apart from me, Jesus said you can do nothing, nada, you can't do anything. Apart from me, you can do nothing. Now, as we again draw to a close, I said at the outset that it is the providence of God, that it is of the kindness of God, that it is of the mercies of God, which endure forever, that God brought you into holy matrimony, to brought you into the bond of marriage with your particular spouse. He did that not only because it's not good for man to be alone, not only for your companionship, not only because of his purpose for mankind to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth, not only as a guard against sexual immorality but also for your personal sanctification and for my personal sanctification and for my wife's personal sanctification. Listen to what I'm saying here.

God knew exactly what you needed. You believe that? God knew exactly what you needed to conform you more to Christ. The blessed marriage is the marriage where a husband and a wife understand that it is God who has joined them together. He put you with her.

He put him with you. And not only for the purposes just stated but for the purpose of your sanctification so that you could grow in holiness, so you could grow in Christ's likenesses. Brothers and sisters, the particular strengths and weaknesses of your spouse were ordained of God to conform you more and more to the image of Christ. Do you see that? I said it a few weeks ago, you know, why is it that the moment that we're saved, you know, you come to saving faith in Christ, oh, I'm born again, I'm saved, God just goes, whoosh, and just whisks you away to heaven.

No. Now it's time for you to be sanctified and made more like Jesus. Right? This is the will of God for you, the apostle Paul said. Even your sanctification.

Sanctification means growth and holiness and conformity to Christ. Our marriages are designed by God to make us more like Jesus. Your spouse's strengths and weaknesses will further your sanctification. She rises early, He gets up later. He gets up earlier, He's a late riser.

She's a this and see this. God puts these things with us, right? He puts these different things in our, and it's like, I thought you're supposed to get on the website and find your perfect spouse that's perfectly compatible with you. And then God brings someone that is not perfectly compatible with you in many areas. Why?

Because He's going to conform you to the image of His Son. He's going to conform you to the image of His Son. Areas where you need spiritual growth because you're married to that particular man or woman will come to the surface. God will use them for your spiritual growth. And that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing.

I'm not saying that The sanctification you'll experience in marriage will not be at times a painful thing, but that it will be a good thing. The blessed marriage is a marriage where both the husband and the wife are growing in holiness and conformity to Christ, where both husband and wife are working out their salvation with fear and trembling as Paul says, not with paralyzing fear but with a solemn serious desire to please God in all things and in cooperation with the Spirit of God who indwells us and is working in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Brothers and sisters, every day is a new day. Every day is a new day. Maybe you say, you know, wow, I've heard all this stuff and it's just too much, I can't, I don't even know where to start.

Just start simple, start simple. But every day is a new day to praise and thank God. Start this way, start by thanking and praising God for your wife or for your husband and rejoicing in God's provision because it was no mistake he put you together and I think most everyone in this congregation knows that and it is a new day to build up your spouse with words of praise and gratefulness. I'm so thankful for you, my wife. I'm so thankful for you, my husband.

It's a new day to die more to self. It's a new day to let love cover the multitude of faults. It's a new day to be the first to say, I'm sorry, please forgive me. It's a new day to forgive one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you. Let's pray.

Father, we thank you for your word. Your word is truth, and we pray, God, that your word would find a place in every heart here today, oh God, and that you would work a work in every heart here through the word of God preached here today, God, that will strengthen your people, that will strengthen marriages, that will strengthen families, and Lord, that will prepare the young people here who are not married for their future spouses as well. Lord, we ask all these things in the blessed name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen and amen.