In his sermon, Steve Hopkins discusses the biblical approach for a young man pursuing a young lady for marriage. The central verse is Proverbs 18:22, which emphasizes finding a wife as a favorable act in God's eyes. Hopkins shares his personal journey, highlighting the absence of biblical teaching in his own upbringing. He stresses the importance of fathers in guiding and protecting their daughters throughout the marriage process, underscoring that fathers should give their daughters in marriage, a practice rooted in scripture. Hopkins emphasizes the absence of dating in the Bible and proposes a return to scriptural principles where young men should approach a young woman's father before pursuing her. The sermon discusses the potential emotional damage that can occur from bypassing this tradition and highlights the importance of treating potential partners with purity and respect. Hopkins reflects on the shifting societal norms that have influenced the church away from traditional biblical practices. He also addresses the responsibilities of young women to remain under their father's protection until marriage and the balance fathers must strike in assessing suitors. The sermon concludes with a call for humility and repentance for those who have strayed from these biblical principles.

If you would stand with me for the reading of the Word of the Lord, let's just read one verse, one verse only, Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 22. Let's read together the Word of the Lord. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Let's pray. Father we we need your help God this afternoon.

I need your help. Every true believer in this meeting house needs your help. Fathers and mothers and sons and daughters need your help. Lord, we live in a world where the church has become more influenced by the world than the world by the church. We need your help Lord to see clearly and correct us.

And we need the help of your Spirit to understand the truth and receive the truth and not kick against the truth. So we ask that the Spirit might be given once again, O God, to guide us, to instruct us, to convince us, and to open our understanding as we open Your Word, for we ask it in Jesus' name. Amen. Let's be seated. I met Sandra, My wife, when she was 15 years old, we had some similarities.

We both came from broken homes. I came from a broken home that went to church, and my wife came from a broken home that didn't go to church at all. I came out of a church environment that never taught its people concerning marriage issues even once as I was growing up. I don't remember one time with the church ever ever a pastor or any one of the church ever talked about marriage, ever preached on it. My wife came out of a secular environment that held to the tradition of marriage, yet without knowing why.

So as a result, neither of us had any biblical teaching on how to pursue a spouse. I say that's a factor but not an excuse, but we had no biblical teaching on how to pursue a spouse, and we did it all wrong. You know, some preachers would come up there and they could say, here's my story, you know, do what we did, what me and my wife did. And I look at people and I say here's my story. Don't do what we did Don't do anything like we did.

Please. It's by the mercies of God that We have been blessed with a marriage of 41 years and 16 children and 23 grandchildren. So after Sandra and I were married and started having children, we said, We just started praying, God help us. God help us to raise our children different than we were raised, with an understanding of how to pursue a spouse in a way that honors you, God, and honors your Word, because we didn't. And by God's grace, 10 of our 16 sons and daughters have done that.

It's just a history of grace, we always say. Shouldn't be the case. And I look around this auditorium right now and I see, you know, all these young married couples in this church that many with children now, you pursued your spouses in a way that honored God and His word. And I praise God for it. And I've talked to many of your parents over the years and found their stories to be much like my story and Sandra's story, our story.

We came out of the dating world. We played the dating game. We came out of the dating world and having experienced the pain associated with that world, they, many of your parents, they also cried out to God for their children that they might be delivered from the world's system of pursuing a spouse and the emotional carnage that they incurred. And God heard their prayers. But most of them will tell you that it came at a cost.

It came with a price tag on it. A lot of you don't know the history of this, but this was a phenomenon 25 and 30 years ago where so many families were being led of God out of Babylon. The Babylon they came out of, the Babylon that they did not want their young people to live in. One of the first things that we came to understand as we read the scriptures, we sought God, and that we were never taught growing up concerning the pursuit of a spouse in a godly manner was this, that the concept of dating was not in the Bible. In the words of Vodi Bakim, it just ain't there, quote unquote.

But we said, okay, so if the world's model, if the dating model isn't in the Bible, what is the biblical process? And how can our young people, when they come of age, when our children grow up, pursue a spouse in a way that honors God and His Word. And the first thing that many of us came to understand was the role and the responsibility of parents before God in the process. Now, in the Bible we have precepts, we have principles, and we have patterns of Scripture that are meant to guide us in every area of life. Has anyone ever heard that before?

Anyone ever heard that? Precepts, principles, You can put everything in Scripture whereby you can kind of understand, God, what is Your will? What do I do in this particular situation? You're going to find either a precept or you're going to find precepts, or you're going to find principles, Or you're going to find patterns in Scripture. So God's Word provides us with direction in every area of our life.

A precept is what theologians refer to as an imperative. Anyone familiar with imperatives? It's a statement of command or a specific commandment concerning something, which in the case of seeking a spouse would be something like this, which we don't find in Scripture. Would be something like, thou shalt pursue a spouse like this, or thou shalt not pursue a spouse like this. We don't have that, do we?

We don't have precepts that say, this is the way to do it, this is not the way to do it. Principles of scripture are general truths or guidelines that could be applied across different situations. That's from Ligonier, a Ligonier article. A pattern would be like a recurring theme in Scripture whereby we come to understand God's will. And the first principle concerning pursuing a spouse that we need to look at, that you just, it's just foundational, we have to look at, which is also patterned for us throughout Scripture, is the role of fathers in protecting their daughters.

That was one of the first things I remember. You know, you know, even when we were talking about whether to homeschool or put our kids in the public school system, I remember one of the things I said was, you know what? I've read that one in three girls by the time they're 18 years old in the public education system will be sexually assaulted in the public education system in one way or another. Our daughters are not going to be statistics in the public education system. One hundred percent of young men who were asked said that coming out by the time they were 18, I was exposed to pornography in the public education system.

I don't want our sons to be, we don't want our sons to be exposed to that, the public education system. So we homeschooled. Those are the two main reasons. But Fathers have an obligation before God to protect their daughters, to do all in their power to protect their daughters from harm, to protect the sexual purity of their daughters unto their marriage beds, and also the responsibility, don't miss this, to protect the hearts of their daughters from emotional damage. And by the way, before I go any further, the last verse in the Old Testament speaks of fathers.

And then the first salvo of the New Testament opens up, you know, talking about fathers. The last verse in the Old Testament is a prophecy of the coming of the forerunner of Christ, John the Baptist, and what does he say? He shall turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers. What? Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.

Now we've all seen the curse of fatherless homes and even households where there's fathers in the home but they aren't really there. They're in the home. Oh, I've got a father in the home, but he's not really there. His heart's not there. His heart is not there with his children.

It's not turned to his family. And this has been devastating on young people with regards to their future marriages, both sons and daughters. And again, remember, there's many a curse that comes from disobedience and there's a reward for obedience. So first back to our topic, what principles and patterns do we see in Scripture concerning the roles of fathers, parents, in this case fathers in the process of how their daughters come to be married. Where are fathers in the picture?

Well, they're not in the picture. That's what most people tell you to go out you talk to them and say, well, fathers aren't in the picture. What do you mean fathers for? Fathers? Both in the Old Testament and the New Testament, we hear one theme, so here we have pattern of scripture that transcends all of the Old Testament and into the New Testament, fathers give their daughters in marriage.

Fathers give their daughters in marriage. Deuteronomy 7.3, I mean there's like 40 so I'm not going to go through them all, but I'm just gonna touch on a few. Deuteronomy 7.3, thy daughter shalt thou not give unto his son. Joshua 15.16, to him will I give Aksa, my daughter, to wife. Judges 21.1, there shall not any of us give his daughter unto Benjamin to wife.

1st Samuel 18.17, behold my oldest daughter, Merab, her will I give thee to wife. 2nd Kings 14, 9, give your daughter to my son to wife. These are just portions of these passages. Nehemiah 13, 25, You shall not give your daughters unto their sons. So the passages from the Old Testament are too numerous, as I said, to list them all.

And then in 1 Corinthians 7, 38, Paul, speaking Concerning the present distress that Christians were experiencing through persecution and the giving of their daughters by their fathers in marriage in such a time, he wrote, so then he that gives her in marriage does well, and he that give her not in marriage does better. He's talking about because of the present distress. Calvin comments on this passage in 1500s, quote, fathers ought to look carefully on all sides before giving up anxiety and intention as to giving away their daughters in marriage. Why do I even quote that? I quote Calvin, not in any way to exposit the passage, but to drive home the point both from scripture and from the understanding of Scripture historically that this is what everyone understood until the modern era, until the modern era of the West, until the destruction of the family in the West, until the feminist movement in the West.

So this was the universal understanding. If you go back and you research Calvin, Luther, you go through the Puritans, you go through all the you know the reformers, Reformation, coming up to about about the 1880s you know everybody's in agreement fathers give away their daughters in marriage and that has implications now I also bring this up because we have this custom we have this tradition everybody knows what a tradition is right tradition tradition anybody know what that's from yeah okay We have this tradition handed down to us through the ages that a father walks his daughter down the aisle at her wedding and gives her away Gives her in marriage to a man to one man We witnessed this again yesterday and and the minister officiated in the wedding. What does he say? He says who gives this woman to be married to this man? And who responds?

Her father. And what does her father say? Well, he might say, I do. Or he might say, her mother and I do, if he once feels the need to make it clear to everyone attending the wedding, that both he and his wife are united in agreement and giving consent to the marriage. But the father of the bride walks his daughter down the aisle at her wedding and gives her in marriage to a man.

That's the tradition. I'm going to wrap it up for just a second. I did like an AI search on this. It was talking about how that's been the tradition, you know, for centuries and then now, you know, but we're kind of breaking free of this tradition, it says, you know. It says, And some people are even having their dogs walk them down the aisle at a wedding.

Oh, the height from which we've fallen. Okay, so that was just, thank you, chat GPT for that little instructive. The father of the bride walks his daughter down the aisle at her wedding, gives her in marriage, that's the tradition. I just hummed this tune from Fiddler on the Roof. It's all about tradition, a father finding husbands for, I haven't seen it in a long time, I don't really recommend the movie, but I haven't seen it in a long time, but he's like finding husbands for his, I think maybe seven daughters.

But I'm watching this thing on R.C. Sproul and he says, he notes and he starts talking about Fiddler on the Roof and he comments on the movie's message and he says, we need to know what our traditions are rooted in. How many would agree with that? We don't just do this because, hey, this is a tradition and, you know, this is what we're going to do because this is the way we've always done it. No.

No. What we've just seen in multiple passages of scriptures in the case of a father walking his daughter down the aisle at her wedding and giving away a way in marriage to a man is that we have a tradition that is not merely a tradition practiced for tradition's sake, but a tradition that is rooted in the word of God, that's rooted in scripture. We do this because fathers give away their daughters in marriage. A father who is acting biblically gives his daughter in marriage. The clear principle and pattern of scripture concerning the marriage of daughters is that fathers give their daughters in marriage.

And what we need to understand here, please listen to this again, what we need to understand here is that it doesn't just end there, okay? It doesn't just end there. What we have to understand is that there are implications to this principle and pattern of Scripture. Since a father, think about it, has the authority To either give his daughter in marriage to a young man or not give his daughter in marriage to a particular young man, there are obvious implications. One of which is that a young man who's interested in a young lady should never bypass the girl's father.

She should never presume to win a young lady's affection or draw away her heart before he has approached her father who has the authority either to give her to him in marriage or not. Why? Why not? Well, we're forced here to turn our attention to the biblical responsibility of suitors. Anybody know what a suitor is?

Anybody heard that term before? We don't know anymore. A suitor is a man, quote, a man who pursues a relationship with a particular woman with a view to marriage. That's a suitor. A suitor is a man who pursues a relationship with a particular woman with a view to marriage.

That's a suitor. A suitor is a man who pursues a relationship with a particular woman with a view to marriage. Okay? So a suitor, a man who would pursue a relationship with a particular woman, I trust I don't have to define what a woman is, a suitor, a young man who's interested in pursuing a man's daughter for marriage should never bypass that girl's father or presume to win the affection of that man's daughter or draw away her heart before he's approached her father. One reason being that to do so would be to possibly set that girl up for a broken heart.

How many young guys in this room wanna do that? You wanna set her up for a broken heart? Yeah, I don't really care. I don't really care. The young man says, I'm not really concerned about whether or not I break a girl's heart, he has no business pursuing her at all.

In bypassing her father and going behind her father's back and pursuing a man's daughter without her father's approval, he risks her emotional damage. He may entangle the affections of that man's daughter with his own, and when or if he finally gets around to approaching her father, if her father says, I'm sorry, there's no way I'm going to give my daughter and marriage to you for whatever reason, the damage has already been done. Do you see that? The damage has already been done. The young man has overstepped his bounds, the bounds set forth in Scripture, and he has taken something that doesn't yet and may never belong to Him.

And the result could very well be pain on all sides, beginning with that young lady. Something I was thinking about here as I was preparing this message last night and early into the morning, every young man needs to think about, the Bible tells husbands, we heard this yesterday in the message at the wedding, it tells them to treat their wives with honor as the what? I mean, as the what vessel? As the weaker vessel. The word weaker vessel here doesn't mean like, you know, she's a weakling or whatever.

So the word here means fragile, as something to be handled with care. Like you would see stamped on a box of like glassware, right? And I would just say this, young man, if you aren't willing to treat the woman you want to marry with honor as the weaker vessel before you're married, what makes you think that you will treat her with honor as the weaker vessel after you're married? And what reason would a young lady have to believe that you would? If you don't treat her with honor and tenderly before you're married in this way, you won't do so after you're married.

So in order to honor God and His Word, and in order to honor that young lady and put her emotional well-being ahead of your own or ahead of his own, a young man, and exhibit the love of Christ toward her and the conduct of a man who like Christ is a protector of his bride and is showing forth that he really cares about her and will love his future wife as his own flesh and honor her as the weaker vessel emotionally should exhibit this before marriage. Now having said all that, this doesn't mean that a man will never marry that young lady, you know, because whatever has happened here, you know, he's been maybe rejected by the Father. Maybe he won't be. Maybe he will go ahead and marry her. Maybe the Father changes his mind.

Maybe he sees, wow, he sees something in this young man. He's like, there's been a real change here. Or there was something I didn't see before. Now of course, the young man could be a scoundrel in an attempt to steal what has not been given to him. A young man might lure a man's daughter that he has no right to into rebellion and just cause more pain.

Or he might do this. He might humble himself before that father and say, sir, I violated your trust and I went around you and I went directly to your daughter and I may have even hurt her and I'm sorry and if you want me to never approach you or her again, I will abide by your word. But I hope you'll forgive me and allow me a second chance. Wow. I would be very gracious in such a case.

Psalm 51 17 says, a humble in a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. And you know what? Neither will I. I don't despise or think lowly of a humble and a contrite heart. They're rare.

And you know what they're very rare in? Very rare in young men today. So to recap, a young man who's met a young lady becomes interested in marriage, you approach a father, express that interest, ask her father how he would like for him to proceed, if at all. You know with all my five daughters that are married So far I thank God for the young men because they did that. They did that.

They approached me first before entangling my daughter's emotions with theirs and possibly breaking their hearts. They didn't play the end around game. I just thank God for that. They didn't try to attempt or win my daughter's affections and then approach me, you know, at some point in time and put me in the position of having to possibly say, I'm sorry, but for whatever reason, I don't think she's the one for you. I thank God for that.

And there's husbands all over this room today who acted honorably in the same way. Now having said all this, all fathers don't understand these things. There's going to be some, you're going, you're approaching this young lady, her dad has never thought of any of this stuff. You know, he's never heard of Vodi Bakum or Paul Washer or whoever is even talking about these things today? So, he's like, young man is like, well, what do I do in this case?

Where the man doesn't really protect his daughter. This husband doesn't really, He's just like, whatever, you know? You want to go out? Go for it, take her, go. What does a young man do who wants to act honorably before God and honorably to that young lady?

What does he do when there's a father he doesn't really, he doesn't know? In that case, he has the opportunity to enlighten that father, be a witness of the love of Christ for his church towards that man's daughter, and conduct himself honorably with his daughter and go to that father first and tell him why he is coming to him and know that it will go well with him no matter the outcome because he has honored God in his word. That's what he can do and that's what he can know. And then say, how do you want me to proceed now? But also taking safeguards and say, okay, this man says do whatever you want.

But I know from the scriptures that I can't do whatever I want, and what I want to do is to please God. And in order to please God, I have to protect the purity of this young lady who may be my future wife, even if her father is not willing to protect her purity, and says, go for it, do whatever you want, test drive it. Here's the keys, test driver. No. I've wondered, is there an app out there for Christian singles where a father can put their contact information on the pages?

We don't do that anymore. Maybe someone could create one. Now some fathers who have come to understand these things, even though they understand these things, act Unreasonably towards suitors. I've seen this over the last 30 years. I'll tell you what they put unreasonable Expectations on a young man that has come to them.

He's done everything he's supposed to do He's done it right and everything and they put the young man through all kinds of hoops will call them and require all sorts of unbiblical things and Hold back their daughters unreasonably and sometimes unjustly others defraud young men who have done everything God requires of them and they and they leave these young men hanging I've seen that or they give them false hopes and they never get back with them. They give them false hopes and then a little bit later they go, wait a minute, what's she, he just, this guy's, what's going on with this? You know, the reformers and the Puritans with one voice, same guys that unanimously teach what I'm teaching here, remind such fathers that their daughters have a process of appeal and so do these suitors. Did you know that? So, well, father's the final authority.

Yeah, but, that's what we always see in Scripture, right? They can appeal to what they term superior authorities, namely what they speak of as the elders of their churches. Sometimes a young man, a young lady has to go to the elders of their churches and say, hey, this, my dad's off the rails. Or they wouldn't say it like that, but in a more kind way. They go, what do you mean telling me he's off the rails?

No. Calvin again speaks of some fathers who are quote, cruel tyrants, who hold back their daughters from marriage altogether. You know, they want to keep their daughters, right? I've seen some of that. So let me set all that.

We've addressed the authority and responsibility of fathers along with their limitations and the responsibilities of young men who are interested in pursuing a particular young lady for marriage. Now what about daughters? Daughters are given in marriage by their fathers who have already established that. And thus, they should remain under their father's protection until they are given in marriage by their fathers. Daughters should go from one household of provision and protection to another household of provision and protection and I know the feminist movement in this country would absolutely hang me by my neck until dead if I said that at one of their conventions, but that's what the Scripture teaches.

Now that provision and protection may come in many different forms, and you know, fathers have a lot of leeway. How am I providing for her? How am I protecting her? But a father will do that. He'll provide for her and he'll protect her until she now is given in marriage and is under the provision and protection of her husband.

Daughters should also be careful not to set their affections wholly on a young man. You're going to be interested in this man, that man, what have you, unless and until that young man has been approved by her father to pursue her. In this way, a daughter will not go beyond the boundaries of scripture and risk emotional harm to herself, or the possibility of defrauding that young man that she has an interest in for marriage, who may at some point marry another woman. Inferred in these passages is that a young man who would pursue a man's daughter should approach that young man's woman's father first or in the absence of a father, her mother or other authority in her life, Puritans and the reformers all talk about this, and not entangle that young lady's emotions or draw her affections to you until he has done so. With an interest in protecting that young lady from emotional damage and treat her with honor just as a married man treats his wife as a weaker vessel so as not to defraud that woman.

He is interested in for marriage a woman who may at some point marry another man. You see how important it is because you're not just treating somebody who may be who is going to be your future wife. You're treating someone in a way who may be someone else's future wife or husband. And I tell you, there's some guys, they look back and they go, he did what? And they go back and they find that guy, you know?

I don't think you should do that. But they do, it's like, he did what? He said, he did what with you? You know? And he said he was a Christian?

Okay, so what about due diligence? Fathers should do their due diligence to examine a young man before making a decision as to whether or not to go forward at all. Some fathers interview men for employment more than they do for access to their daughters. Others go way overboard, I'm not sure which is worse ultimately, but there has to be a balance. In scripture there's a balance in everything.

You don't go too far, you don't go not far enough. We have to do our due diligence. We have to do our due diligence. We have to do our due diligence. And you know what, even if you do your due diligence, that's no guarantee, there's no guarantee, right?

Because we all know some young men who the fathers did due diligence, they spent the time they needed to spend with them, they they interviewed them, they examined them, they they talked to their elders, they did everything that they knew to do, And what happened? He was examined, cleared, married, had children with a young woman, and then abandoned that wife, and sometimes even their own precious children. We've seen that. There's no guarantees. There's no guarantees.

My wife is always saying that to our daughter. She says, you know, there's no guarantees. We do our due diligence. Your dad's gonna do his due diligence. If he does that, though, watch out.

He better watch out. But it's crushing. God is angry with the wicked every day, the scripture tells us. And this sort of thing is pure evil. And a young man who has done this sort of thing has no idea the horror that awaits him in hell under God's wrath for all eternity except he repents.

It's horrifying. Yet at the same time, one father that I know in such a situation told me of the sweetness and the closeness. And he was just smiling. He and his daughter, the sweetness and the closeness of Christ, his family experienced after having gone through that. God used it for their good to draw them nearer to Him.

Another father told me how God eventually brought another man to his daughter who has since married her and adopted her children as his own and has laid his life down for her with Christ with a Christ like sacrificial love like no other man he has ever known. Wow. So how should a young man conduct himself with a young woman he's interested in for marriage before he's been cleared by the father and After he's approached a father and been cleared to pursue the daughter For this we have a direct precept right on this one We got a thou shalt and a thou shalt not that type of thing, right? First Timothy 5 to how many know what that is. How many know where I'm going?

How do you treat the younger women? Treat the older women as mothers. Treat the younger women as sisters with all purity. Treat the younger women as sisters with all purity. Young men treat ladies you're around as sisters.

Treat them like you would your own sister. If you're interested in a young lady and her father hasn't been approached yet, How do you act towards her? Like you would your sister. You like you would your sister. You don't have to feel awkward in any way around your sister, right?

You don't have to be nervous about having conversations with your sister, no? Treat her like your sister, right? You don't have to be nervous about playing sports with your sister, volleyball or basketball or whatever, or whatever you would do with your sister. In the same way towards that young lady, listen to what it says here, and with all purity, you wouldn't flirt with your sister, with all purity. Treat that young lady in the same way as you would your sister then second question depending on the father and his understanding the second question is okay now I've been approved by the dad or whatever it's in the father's court you know how is it gonna proceed It's not in the young man's court, it's in the father's court.

Fathers who understand their role as protectors of their daughter's purity and emotions unless they have some reason to believe their daughters will not consent for some reason at any point. A father who understands his role as the protector of his daughter after he's cleared the young man to pursue his daughter for marriage will more than likely open the door for that young man to get to know his daughter. I mean naturally right? And how? In settings where there's accountability.

We don't like that word anymore in the church in America, accountability. Ministers don't like accountability. People with iPhones and iPads and whatever, they don't like accountability. People don't like accountability anymore. But He'll open the door for that young man to get to know his daughter in settings where there is accountability.

How? Maybe through family gatherings. That's what a lot of people do. Supervised activities, what a lot of people do. Other fathers may proceed prudently in other ways, they deem to be within the parameters of Scripture.

Before we close, there's one more thing I want to say. I've got two or three minutes here left. Before we end the day, you know, we started talking about tradition, tradition, right? And how tradition should be backed by Scripture. And I want to talk about another tradition of the wedding ceremony.

How many know where I'm going? After the vows have been made, after the couple has been pronounced man and wife, what does the minister typically and traditionally say? You may now kiss your bride. Why? Why would he say that?

That kind of sounds silly, doesn't it? Because he's never kissed her before. You may kiss your bride. Why? Because you never kissed her before.

The first kiss traditionally has always been reserved for the altar as they call it, right? Yeah. We didn't do that. My wife and I have so many things we had to, like I said, we had to repent of so many things. We don't stand in front of people and say, hey, do everything the way we did it.

And we say, God broke us into a thousand pieces and crushed us over and over again and put me through the school of hard knocks and chastened me and flattened my head and drove me, you know, to repentance on so many things because I saw after we're married the way that it hurt our marriage after we're married. No, we don't say that. We say, God, help us and help our children and help everyone we know to do it your way and not the way that we did it. Because we did everything wrong. We did it all wrong.

And you are merciful anyways. And we praise and thank you for it. But why does he say you may kiss your bride? Because he's never done that before. The first kiss traditionally has been reserved for the altar as they call it.

You see the height from which we've fallen in this nation, the church in the West, that once influenced the world to the extent that in every wedding the minister said, now you can kiss your bride for the first time. Go 100 years ago and back. Everybody said it. You go 70, 80 years ago back, they were still saying it. Even at secular weddings that were not truly Christian weddings.

But now we've been so influenced by the world. The world that once once followed the influence of the church and now for however many years, at least seven decades, the church has been following the world. That's not the way it's supposed to be, to the greatest extent. But what are the roots of this tradition in Scripture? I need to close now, but I'll just leave you with one.

Song of Solomon, chapter 1. The bride says, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. The kiss is the first intimate act in Scripture between a husband and his new wife. And let's end there and let's pray. Father, we thank You, God, for Your Word.

We pray, God, that You would convict us by Your Word. Lord, I praise You and thank You, Lord, for the mercy that You've shown this sinner. Thank You, God, that though I did everything wrong, Lord, You had mercy upon me and upon my wife. I should have led her in so many ways that I didn't lead her. You had mercy, and I thank You for the mercies that You give us and You show us in Your Son.

Thank you Lord that you are, as I said a couple of weeks ago, not only the God of second chances but third and fourth and fifth and sixth and seventh chances. God, you are merciful and that you receive everyone who comes to you. You never reject a broken or a contrite heart if we would only repent of the way that we've done things. You will never quench that smoldering wick. You don't break that bruised reed.

And we thank you for it, God, that you're always merciful to us for Christ's sake When we come to you and we humble ourselves and say Lord, I didn't do this the way I supposed to do it Please forgive me Lord. I did this in the opposite way that I was supposed to do it. Please forgive me Lord I want to do things the way you want me to do them, please help me. I just want to serve you and bring glory to your name above all. Oh God help us Lord to to have such a heart as we continue to look at these issues concerning our marriages and the marriages of our sons and daughters for we ask it in Jesus' name, amen.

Amen.