In the sermon 'Young People Pursuing Marriage (part 2)' by Steve Hopkins, the speaker emphasizes the importance of pursuing marriage in a manner that honors God and His Word. He underscores the need for young people to avoid the heartache associated with worldly dating practices by aligning their pursuits with biblical principles. Hopkins highlights the role of fathers in giving their daughters in marriage and the responsibilities that come with it, including protecting their daughters from harm. The sermon also outlines qualities a young woman should seek in a potential husband, such as honoring God-ordained authority, being employed and hardworking, and having a track record of moral purity. Hopkins further discusses the significance of repentance and personal growth in becoming the godly individuals that a godly spouse would desire. He encourages young people to pray for their future spouses and to seek God's guidance in their pursuit of marriage.

Turn with me once again to the book of Proverbs and we'll stand and read one verse Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 22. Let's stand for the reading of the Word of the Lord. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Amen. Let's pray.

Father, once again God we ask that the Spirit might be given to guide us, O God, and to instruct us, O Lord, and to convict us and to convince us and, Lord, to open our understanding as we open your word, for we ask it in Jesus' name, amen. Let's be seated. As in the last message on young people seeking marriage, I wanna begin with an admission again. Some couples, you know, they give talks on how to pursue a spouse, and they can say, young people, do what we did. My wife and I can't say that if we were invited to a conference and they said, you know, speak on these topics.

We couldn't stand up and say, we want you to do what we did because we did it all right and if you do what we did, you know, things will work out great. No. I'm grateful for those whose process of pursuing each other for marriage honored God in His Word. And for those who can say, trace our steps, my wife and I can't say that. And so we thank God for His mercies and His grace, because even though we did it all wrong, somehow we made it through by God's grace.

God brought us through, even through the world's way of seeking a spouse, and it's all very humbling because we know what we deserve and what we got instead. Young people, if you are guided by the word of God, if you desire with all your heart to please Christ in the pursuit of marriage and not your own flesh, you will do things dramatically different than the world around you. And by doing so, you will avoid a lot of the heartache and misery that attends the world's manner of pursuing a spouse, both for yourself and for your future spouse. But most importantly, listen to this, most importantly you will be honoring God. And if you're a young person who says, but pastor what about me?

I already blew it. I say look around you because what you may find is that you're in a crowd of people who will confess that they've also blown it to one degree or another. And then look up because you have a Father in heaven who loves you, If you're a believer, you have a Christ who died for your sins, and you have the indwelling Spirit to help you from this day forward to walk in the way that you should go. One thing that you can be sure of, God resists the proud, but He gives grace to the humble. In our first session on pursuing a spouse and the way that honors God and His word, I said that after Sandra and I were married and started having children, we said, God help us.

God help us to raise our children different than we were raised and teach them the things that we were not taught concerning how to pursue a spouse in a way that honors God in his word for the good of their souls, for the good of their future marriages and families. And most of all, God, for your glory, for your glory, oh God, do this. And it's been my prayer every night for our sons and and daughters ever since they were born and even before they were born and what we're going to be looking at here in just a few minutes considering is the question what should a young lady be looking for in a future husband and then next week I plan to turn it around and consider what should a young man be looking for in a future wife but I want to do first a quick review. In our last session, we looked at principles and patterns of scripture concerning how young people who claim the name of Christ should pursue a spouse for marriage. And we looked at how we practice a lot of traditions in Christian weddings without even understanding why.

And I said we have this tradition, for instance, handed down to us through the ages, that a father walks his daughter down the aisle at her wedding and he gives her away. And He gives her in marriage to a man. And we have this tradition of the ministers in the wedding ceremony asking the father of the bride, who gives this woman to be married to this man? And how her husband traditionally answers, I do, or sometimes her mother and I do. And I said the father of the bride walks his daughter down the aisle at her wedding, gives her in marriage to a man.

That's the tradition, but we need to know what our traditions are rooted in. And what we saw from multiple passages of Scripture in our previous session was that in this giving away of a daughter by her father in marriage we have a tradition that is not merely a tradition practiced for tradition's sake but a tradition that is rooted in the Word of God in the Bible in the Bible fathers if there's a father in the home, give their daughters in marriage. This is the pattern we see throughout Scripture, both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament. We see it over and over again, both in the positive form and in the negative form. And I gave many examples of this.

Thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, Deuteronomy 7.3. To him will I give, Aksa, my daughter to wife, Joshua 15.16. Judges 2.11, there shall not any of us Give his daughter unto Benjamin to wife first Samuel 18 17 behold my elder daughter Mara Here her will I give to thee to wife second Kings 14 9 give your daughter to my son to wife Nehemiah 1325 you shall not give your daughters unto their sons It's it's just over and over again passage after passage every time we see it in the Scripture that there's this process, there's fathers giving their daughters in marriage. In the New Testament, 1 Corinthians 738, he that gives her in marriage does well and he that gives her not, etc., etc. So we found that the clear principle and pattern of Scripture concerning the marriage of daughters is that where there are fathers in the home, fathers give their daughters in marriage.

And fathers have an obligation before God. Young men that are pursuing marriage, think about this and not just in terms of, okay, how I pursue a wife or whatever, but remember that one day, if you get what you are seeking, you're gonna be married and you're going to have a wife and you're gonna have children, Lord willing, if God gives you children, and if you raise those children, when you raise those children up, one day you're gonna be trying to advise them, what do I do? How do I do this? How do I go through this? How do I pursue a wife?

How do I pursue a husband? So be thinking about this. And fathers, young men, remember you'll be fathers and you have an obligation before God to protect your daughters, to do everything in your power to protect your daughters from harm. And the men of this age, the fathers of this age, are not doing that. And that's one of the reasons that we have the problems that we have in this country today is for decades and decades and decades fathers have been sitting down on the job, refusing to protect their daughters.

And it's just, you look at it and it's heartbreaking. It just breaks your heart when you hear the stories of young ladies and what they went through in the dating world. I was there. I know all about it. It's heartbreaking.

But fathers have an obligation to protect their daughters from harm, to protect the sexual purity of their daughters under the marriage bed and the responsibility to protect the hearts of their daughters from emotional damage as much as they can. So much we have to rely upon the Lord, but as much as as he can in that process leading up to the time when that father will give his daughter in marriage. And then we looked at the implications of that principle and pattern of Scripture. Since the father has the authority to either give his daughter in marriage to a man or not give her in marriage to a man, there are obvious implications to that, right? And we looked at some of those.

One of which is that a young man who's interested in a young lady should not bypass a girl's father. He should never presume to win a young lady's affections or draw away her heart before he has approached her father who has authority either to give her to him in marriage or not and we can kick at that if we want to say well I'm gonna kick at that you know a young man might say you got to give your daughter to me I have a right to your daughter. I mean, I can take that position, but it's not going to be a biblical position for him to take. He has an obligation to his daughter. He has an obligation to his daughter to protect her.

So, A young man should never presume to win a young lady's affections or draw away her heart before he has approached her father who has the authority either to give her to him in marriage or not. And one reason being, and I mentioned this in the last session, that to do so would be to possibly set that girl up for a broken heart. Is that what you want to be a part of? Okay? I said I've made many admissions in these two messages, okay?

And I guess You can also call them confessions, right? I didn't do it right. I want my sons to do it right. You could set that girl up for a broken heart. Yeah, you might also get a broken heart also.

But what do you think about her? In bypassing her father and pursuing a man's daughter without her father's approval, a young man may cause incredible emotional damage. God forgive me. He may entangle the affections of that man's daughter with his own and when or if he finally gets around to approaching her father if her father says I'm sorry there's no way I'm going to give my daughter in marriage to you for whatever reason the damage has already been done the young man has overstepped his bounds the bounds set forth in Scripture and taken remember fathers give their daughters in marriage, and taken something that does not yet and may never belong to him. And the result could be pain on all sides, on all sides.

And I said, every young man needs to be thinking about these things. The Bible tells husbands to treat their wives with honor as the weaker vessel. The word means fragile, like glassware, something to be handled with care. And I said, young man, if you aren't willing to treat the woman you want to marry with honor as the weaker vessel before you're married, what makes you think you will treat her with honor as the weaker vessel after you're married? And what reason would she have to believe that you would?

And others, I'm not the only one probably in this room who's a great sinner and had to come to a great savior. Many of the parents in this room know the heartache of the American and Western world dating system. You know, many of us and probably those maybe some who will listen on sermon audio you'll say well I didn't honor her as a weaker vessel emotionally, my wife or girls that I dated before I was married. I was thinking about myself, you know, just like that guy that's preaching this message. I was thinking about himself, But in order to honor God in His Word, in order to honor that young lady and put her emotional well-being ahead of your own and exhibit the love of Christ toward her and the conduct of a man who, like Christ, is a protector of his bride, who will love his wife as his own flesh and honor her as the weaker vessel emotionally you need to begin this before marriage and go to her father first and not entangle her emotions first." And then of course I said all fathers don't understand their roles.

A young man might be interested in a daughter of a man who doesn't understand these biblical principles and patterns of scripture at all. It's just foreign to him. It's like, what planet did you come from? And I said a young man in this case a young man who is truly Christian and wants more than anything to honor God in his Word has the opportunity to enlighten such a father To be a witness of the love of Christ for his church towards that man's daughter and conduct himself honorably With his daughter go to him first tell him why he's coming to him, that he's interested in his daughter, not to date her but to pursue her for marriage, and know that it will go well with him no matter the outcome because he has honored God and his word. That's why.

He can be assured that it's gonna turn out okay in the end. I may not get what I want. I may not get what I'm pursuing here, but I know it's gonna be okay. It's gonna turn out alright because I honored God and I honored His Word. That's powerful.

I was reading a sermon by Paul Washer this past week where he talked about how he went to his wife's father. I can't remember her name right now. And when he was pursuing her for marriage, he went to her father, and her father was an unbeliever. He went to a father who wasn't even a Christian, and her father said, no. This is quote, no.

And Mr. Washer says he, quote, took his word as the will of God, end quote. That was a message at Church of Family Life. But here's the good news. Mr.

Washer said, I also, quote, I also was given assurance that God would fight for me if I submitted to that father if I honored him if I respected his decision that God would fight for me end quote six months later her father quote here's another quote, made it known to another relative, this is what he said, she can marry him. He said, I still can't believe that man submitted to me. Close quote. Her father had never encountered anything like that before. And in the same way, a young man can go to a young lady's father and do something her father may have never even heard of, never even entered into his mind and honor him and approach him and express his interest and trust God for the outcome.

Now I also said some fathers, Christian fathers, who have come to understand these things even though they understand these things, act unreasonably towards suitors. We've seen this in our own communities. They may place unreasonable expectations upon suitors and even defraud them. Others hold back their daughters unreasonably and sometimes unjustly from marriage acting like tyrants. That's what Calvin called them, tyrants.

And in cases like this daughters have a process of appeal as do suitors, That's a young man who comes to them. They can appeal, for instance, to the elders of their churches. Or if they believe their elders in their church are acting unreasonably or unjustly, they can appeal to the elders or pastors of churches in communion with their church. We have precedent for this in the Reformed churches of history, and more importantly we have warrant from Scripture, because no institution ordained of God in Scripture, whether it's the institution of the civil government or ecclesiastical government, that's the government of the church, or the government of the family, holds within itself an unlimited power. You understand that?

Every authority is under authority, and all authority is under God and His Word governed by His Word. So I said in my first message where a father or parent is negligent or where a father is believed to be abusing or misusing his authority a young man and a young lady who desire to be married and want to do things in a proper way in a way that honors God and His Word where there's unreasonable or unjust opposition to marriage have a remedy. They have a remedy and both parents as well as sons and daughters should resolve, Listen to me, should resolve on both sides, and it shouldn't be sides, it should be together. All of them together should resolve to do things in a way that honors God and His Word, and everyone involved should be ready to submit to the authorities in their lives. Amen?

Amen. And this is a good launching point for our study this afternoon. And the question, what should a godly young lady be looking for in a future husband? The first question I think a young woman should ask is, does the man you are interested in honor God-ordained authority? Does he honor civil authority?

Or is he a law unto himself? Does he honor his father and his mother? Is that something that you can detect or see from the way that he acts with his parents, that he honors his father and mother? Is he accountable to the government of his church? Is he a member of a church?

If a young man is not a member of a church, if he refuses to be accountable to the elders and pastors of his church, run from him. He's living outside of God's Word. Hebrews 13, 17, obey them that have the rule over you. This is in the context of the church. And submit yourselves for they watch for your souls as they who must give account that they may do it with joy and not with grief for that is unprofitable for you." Everyone's under authority.

Is he a man who who honors his father and his mother, even unbelieving fathers and mothers, as we saw with Paul Washer. Of course, as much as is possible under the various circumstances of life, right? God knows. What is his relationship like with his mother? It's telling us to how he will treat you one day if you marry him.

What about his relationship with his father? Ephesians 6 2 through 3, honor thy father and thy mother which is the first commandment with promise, that it may go well with thee. Who wouldn't want that? So that it will go well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Second, next, is he a man who is employed and works hard?

There's guys that go out looking for a bride, they're not even employed, They don't even have any means of income. They're just following their lusts, you know, or their desires and they have no means of taking care of a spouse or a family. Proverbs 18, 9, He that slothful in his work is a brother to him that is a great waster." The word literally means a master of destruction. Slothfulness cast into a deep sleep an idle soul will suffer hunger, Proverbs 19.5. The desire of the slothful kills him.

His hands refuse to labor, Proverbs 21.25. The slothful or lazy man says, there's a lion outside, I'll be slain in the streets. In other words, he's always making an excuse for staying home instead of going to work. Proverbs 24, 30. I went by the field of the slothful, by the vineyard of the man void of understanding.

He was grown over. The passage goes on to speak of the lazy man's property being covered with thorns and nettles and things broken down and everything's in disrepair. Proverbs 26, 14, as the door turns upon his hinges, So does the slothful upon his bed." Again I thank God for the work ethic of the young men in this congregation who are seeking marriage. Every one of them, every one of you are. I'm sitting here thinking about every one of you.

Every one of you are employed and you're hard workers and you started early and it's a rare thing in our world to get today, and I applaud you. And other people applaud you too, and they tell me all the time, when they talk about guys in this church and how they work. And you know what else? You know, You work, but you're also guys who are compassionate. When someone else in the church, and I've had people in the church come to me and say this, somebody needs a hand, somebody needs some help, they need the strength that only your muscles maybe can give, and you help them.

Not for money, you just help them. I won't go into examples, but there are many. Young ladies, the man you're considering for marriage, a man who will expect you to enter the workforce after you're married and Bear the burden of working by the sweat of your brow. Bear the curse that was put on man. Adam, by the sweat of your brow.

Wife, share this with me, this curse, by the sweat of your brow. We'll go into more of wives who make a lot of money at home next week when we look at what a young man should be looking for in a wife. But a guy who wants to put her out, put you out into the workforce? No. Is he a man who understands his God-ordained role as the provider, the primary provider for his wife and children?

If any man provide not for his own, especially for those of his own household, Timothy 5-8, he has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel and believer. First Timothy 5-8, you know many of these things that I'm talking about a father can filter out before he even gives a young man access to pursue his daughter for marriage. No, this guy's lazy. No, this guy wants a career woman. Does the young man believe that wives are to be quote keepers at home Titus 2 5?

Does he view that as quote the focus of their of her duties? As a note in my RHB Bible commentary puts it, if he doesn't and you do, there's gonna be serious incompatibility, right? And if you wake up and he says, hey, you got to go to work, baby. You know, you got to get there and go to work. Well, then what's going to happen with your children?

Well, then the next demand is going to be, we got to put the kids in daycare, honey. We got, it ain't going to work. You want a car, right? You wanna go to work, you wanna, we gotta, it just doesn't work. And we've seen it.

And I know there's exceptions to every rule or what have you. There are exceptions and we've seen them also in this church. But you know does the young man believe that wives should be keeping their children? Does he think children need their mother? It's a simple question.

Do you think that the children can be raised and that you can off that to someone else and pay someone else to mother your children as they grow up. I know this would get me kicked out of almost any church in the land. Next, is the man who believes, Is he a man who believes that children are a blessing from the Lord and a reward? Does he believe that? Do you believe that as a young lady?

If you believe that, it's a serious question. Dad neither, he's either asking it or you need to ask it. Someone needs to ask the question. What do you think about this? Are you going to expect me to fill my body with birth control pills or demand that I use other devices to impede procreation?

I just got kicked out of every church, 99% of the churches in America. And I'm already on the rail going out of town. Genesis 1 28, and God blessed them and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it." They call it the creation mandate, the dominion mandate. Proverbs 1.27, Lo, children are in heritage of the Lord, And the fruit of the womb is His reward. That's your reward.

Now, while it is not always God's plan that couples are able to bear children, it is the pattern of Scripture throughout Scripture that godly husbands and wives desire children. Every couple may not be able to bear them, But the pattern of Scripture is that godly husbands and wives desire them. Give me children or I die. Who said that? It's the desire of the heart.

It's natural. And it's heartbreaking. But God has a plan. Is he a man who loves children? Is he a man who loves children?

Have you watched him and noticed how he really loves children? How he is around children? Does he just ignore children, get away from children, children are a distraction to him, you know, or what have you. Is he a man who loves children? Is he a man who understands the God-ordained mission of fathers and mothers to raise up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

If he doesn't, there's not going to be compatibility. Ephesians 6, 4 says, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Is he a man next who is resolved to open the scriptures with you and your children every day in family worship, Or does he think that that is primarily the church's responsibility? That's the church's responsibility. And these words which I command you this day shall be in your heart and you shall teach them – this is the law of God diligently to your children and talk of them when you sit in your house when you walk by the way when you lie down when you rise up all the time Deuteronomy 6 6 through 7 we may not be able to do it all day long every day, right, but we can at least get our family together and open the Scriptures with them.

Is he a man who is resolved to protect his children from the evil influences of government education? Is he a man resolved to protect his children from the evil influences of government education. A man who will not permit his children to quote walk in the council of the ungodly, Psalm 1. Is he that kind of a man? Or is he a man who will deliver his children and your children into the jaws of Satan to swim in the cesspool of the local public school system?

I don't have an opinion. These are the kinds of questions every young woman should be asking and every father should be asking suitors, maybe a little more respectfully than I just did. But they're things a young lady needs to know up front and not just assume the answer to before her heart is gone or God forbid she wakes up one day to find that she's married to a man who is dedicated to turning their children over to the state to be educated and discipled by people who do not fear God or even believe that he exists. You've got to find out. You've got to ask these questions.

Next, is he a man of purity, of moral purity? Listen to me. Despite what his past may have been. Is he a man who has an established track record of obedience to God and holiness of life? Has he established a track record?

Does he have a track record here now? He's been free of this stuff, of evil, this wicked stuff for a long time. He's on a trajectory and has been on it for a long time of obedience to God and holiness of life knowing not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God and such were some of you Paul said and such were past tense some of you such were some of you but what happened you're washed God washed you God cleansed you you were washed you're you're sanctified You're justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. How can a young man cleanse his way? By reading God's Word and doing what it says, Psalm 119, taking heed according to God's Word.

Next, is he in God's Word daily? These are things to ask because more than likely if he's not in God's word daily before marriage, he probably won't be afterwards, you know? Is he in the word of God daily? Is it something, back to purity, is that something he's even truly concerned about? For the young men here, that passage goes on from Psalm 199 how can the young man cleanse his way by taking heed according to his word it goes on with my whole heart have I sought you oh let me not wonder from thy commandments is that young man is that your heart is that your heart with my whole heart have I sought you God oh let me not wonder from your commandments God in other words I don't trust me I don't trust myself let me not wonder from your commandments because it is written be holy for I am holy and without holiness no man shall see the Lord Hebrews 12 14 it's important young man are you serious about being godly before marriage?

Are you serious about being the godly man before marriage that a godly young woman should want to marry? Should want to marry. Are you a one-woman man? A man who has eyes for his wife and wife alone. In other words, he's protecting his eyes now, you know, As Job said, he's made a covenant with his eyes not to think upon a maid, a young lady in the way that he should not.

Job 31, 1 through 3, because he's reserving that for his future wife. And where he fails, he knows how to repent. Remember what I've talked about with repentance. You know repentance, this is an element of repentance that a lot of people leave out of repentance. Okay and that's the last the last one and that is true repentance cannot be true repentance unless the person relinquishes to sin.

What does relinquish mean? He becomes perfect? No. But he forsakes that sin with the intent never to return to it again by God's grace. Without that element, the person is living in sin.

They're living in sin. They keep going back, going back, going back, going back, but they never, when they repent, it's just confession otherwise. You can confess sin. This is not in the script, but I'll just go here for a second. You can confess your sins, okay, and you can confess them all day long, okay, you confess your sins, but did you repent?

Because repentance also involves a relinquishment of that sin, a forsaking it with the intent. You have a mental thought now in your mind that, you know what, I'm not gonna hide this. I'm not trying to hide this. I'm not trying to, when I'm out there in public and the girl's in the bikini over there or in her whatever tight stuff, I'm not gonna try to sneak a peek where nobody else is looking. I'm not trying to hide my sin.

I hate my sin and I have intent. I have forsaken it. I confessed it. I've asked God's forgiveness for it and I have determined and resolved with everything that I have within me by God's grace, by God's grace, with the power of His Spirit working within me, never to return to it again. I've forsaken it with the intent never to return to it again.

You've got to have that for true repentance. And you say, well, what if you fall again? You do the same thing again. You come to the same place again. I renounce Satan.

I renounce the world. I renounce my flesh. I will not ever do this again, God, by your grace. If a person leaves a reservation, I don't care if it's sexual lust or what it happens to be, bitterness, unforgiveness, whatever, You have a little reservation left here, you know, that no, I reserved the right to be bitter at you. I reserved the right to be unforgiving to you.

I have, I reserved the right to be jealous of that person or envious of that person. I reserve the right to it's all the same thing. That's not a relinquish under the sin. None of this is in the script. Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled for God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterers.

That we can be sure of, right? Next, is he a man who will not pollute his family with the filth of the modern age through its media, books, television, movies, and music? Does he have, in other words, does he have any personal convictions about these things of his own? Will he set wicked? There's a movie called wicked, isn't there?

Out there, I think I saw it in the one I was driving by. Will he set wicked? Will he set wicked things? Is what I'm supposed to be going here. Will he set wicked things?

Is that movie wicked? Does anybody know if wicked is wicked? It sounds wicked. Will he set wicked things before the eyes of his wife and children? Will he do that?

David said, I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes. I hate the work of them that turn aside. It shall not cleave to me." Psalm 1013. Again, here, a young man that is pursued for marriage by a godly young lady or who's trying to be a godly young lady, who's trying to find a godly young man, he needs to be a guy who understands that the family is not to be conformed to this world, but is to be transformed by the renewing of their minds and thereby prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, Romans 12.2. Next, young ladies, is he a man that you can follow?

A man who is a leader, a spiritual leader, a shepherd-hearted leader, Or is he at least making some progress in that direction? You can say, well, he may not be kind of a leader right now, but I see some traits in him, you know? When I'm in his home, when there's my home, where I'm seeing him out in this place or that place, whatever, I see some leadership traits in him. He's not a follower, he's a leader. He's not a perfect leader, but he is a leader.

He's on that trajectory again. Is he a man who knows how to wash his wife in the Word because he's been washing himself in the Word of God? When you think about it, do you think, wow, his chief desire is to be conformed to the image and character of Christ? Is that what you think of him? Is he a humble man?

I said it from the beginning, God resists the proud but he gives grace into the humble. And believe me, Husbands need a lot of grace. Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16, 18. Is he a man like David after God's own heart?

Acts 13, 22. Who just wants to do the will of God. I know David, a man of God's own heart, he says he's a man who will fulfill all my will. Is he a man who doesn't walk on the council of the ungodly or stand on the way of sinners or sit in the seat of scorn or Psalm 1? Is he a man Who is not afraid to face the Goliaths of his age?

Is he a man like Abraham who will command his children and his household after him that they keep the way of the Lord? Is he a man like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who can look into the eyes of a wicked despot, a wicked king, and say without flinching, my God is able to deliver us. My God is able to deliver us, but even if he doesn't, we're not gonna bow to your idols. Our family's not bowing to the idols of the age. Is he a man who fears God in the face of no man?

Isaiah 51, 12, who are you? What are you thinking, O man? Who are you that thou shouldst be afraid of a man? A man who will one day die, a man who's the son of a man who's already pushing up daisies, my paraphrase. Is he a man who's not afraid to stand on the front lines?

Not perfectly, but is he there? He's not afraid to stand on the front lines. He's not afraid to battle with the popular culture warriors of the day. Is he the kind of man who would rather suffer insult and injury than to run from a fight where the honor of God is at stake? Again, not perfectly, but does he strike you as that kind of a man he's going to stand?

It's said that Stonewall Jackson went into battle with a Bible in one hand and a sword in the other, we need to be like that kind of a man. Is he a protector, a man who will lay his life down for you rather than expect you to lay down your life for him? Is he a man who desires the advancement of Christ's kingdom and works for it? Mark 16, 15 spread the gospel into all the world. Is he a man who is not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Romans 1 16. Is he a man like Isaac who meditates on the Word of God? Genesis 24 63. Is he a man of prayer? Psalm 109 4.

Is he a man filled with the Spirit of God? Ephesians 5, 18, Acts 6, 3. Or is he a man at all? Or is he still a boy? The Apostle Paul said, what I became a man, I put away childish things.

1st Corinthians 13 11. Is he a man who after God will put his wife first? After God you're first. You're first. Over the children, over everything, you're first.

As he could draw to a close here, young men, you should spend much time in the book of Proverbs. Everybody should, but I'll address this to young men right now. You should spend much time in the book of Proverbs. Why? Why?

Because the book of Proverbs addresses young men and sons, the book of Proverbs addresses young men and sons more than any other book in the Bible. I was going to just go through it, I don't have time to do it, but just start in chapter one, verse four, to the young man. It's like here we are chapter one It's already addressed to young men to the young man to give knowledge of discretion Blah blah blah blah blah blah, and then it's over and over again I just I'll just flip the pages my son here the instructions of thy father my son walked knocking Not in the way of them my son if you'll if you receive my words I don't have any of this is just jumping off the page. My son, forget not my law. Forget not my commandments.

My son, my son, my son, young men, sons of men. It's just over and on and on and on. My son, my son, my son, my son. Chapter six, my son. Chapter seven, my son.

Devour the book of Proverbs, young men. Devour it. If you're seeking to be that young man that a young godly woman would want to marry. And again, as we close here, I have to say it again, I was not that man before marriage. I was not that man.

I'm not standing before you saying, be what I was, I'm saying, be what the word of God says that you should be. I was selfish, sinful, prideful, worldly, chasing vanities, seeking my own things and not the things that be of Jesus Christ. And I remember one day driving home, I was working a night shift and I got off late. I'm driving home, I'm under great conviction, I know I'm not the man I should be. I know I'm not even on the trajectory that I should be on.

And I pulled my car off to the side of the road and I got out and I went over into the bar ditch or maybe into the field, I can't remember. But I remember it was a starry night and the moon was shining bright and everything It was like 1130. I think I got off at 11 o'clock It's like 1130 and I got out of the car just under great conviction everything and I went out and it went out of the Field I just looked up it was just just in tears. I said God what do you want me to do? And the words from the Bible just came into my mind, obey me and I will be your God and you shall be my people.

Obey me and I will be your God and you shall be my people. Obey me. And I will be your God and you shall be my people. I had to be crushed. I had to be smashed into a thousand pieces and put back together again.

I experienced physical pain 30 to 40 times. Just for a second, just sit here and think of the worst time, young men, young ladies, the worst pain you ever felt in your life, okay? And then I'm like 19, 20, 21, okay? And I've got the ulcerative colitis basically bleeding to death on all these massive steroids and drugs and everything and 30 to 40 times a day I'm having a pain that feels like somebody took takes a big knife and sticks it in my gut and twists it. And it's so excruciating, that pain, 30 to 40 times a day, that I would just scream out.

If I was in a public place, it didn't matter. I just had to scream, I couldn't stop myself. My eyes felt like they were gonna bulge out and pop out of their sockets. The pain was so, so incredibly intense from this disease and it made me scream out in agony and sometimes I preferred death to life. And I thank God for it.

I thank God for the pain. I pray nobody else has to go through pain like that for God to smash them into a thousand pieces and start putting them back together. I hope It could just be by God's grace. But you know, we should all be in a place where we say, Lord, if that's what it's necessary to get me where I need to be, then let me feel that kind of pain. Lord, if that's what I need to be a holy man and to be a God-honoring man and to just be where you want me to be, God, do whatever you want to do with me.

Break me, shake me, crush me, give me a disease, do whatever it takes. I prefer, God, that you do it by your grace, though. If you would, just by your grace, convict me, convince me, make me more like Jesus Lord. That's what I want. We should have that that heart.

God whatever brings more glory to you. If I have to suffer for you to receive more glory, so be it, I have to die. Brothers, despise not the chastening of the Lord. For whom the Lord loves, he chastens and scourges every son he receives, Hebrews 12. It's a blessing when God crushes a life out of a man so that he comes to desire to be more like Jesus and less like himself.

What I want for my sons and daughters, what Sandra and I want for our sons and daughters, what I want for every young man and young woman in this room and every Christian young man and young woman is that they would be molded into the future husbands and wives and fathers and mothers that God would have them to be and that God might affect that through his word and by his spirit as they daily seek the same. And it's my prayer that maybe some young men who listen to this message maybe on sermon audio or somewhere else, and young people altogether, young men and young ladies, that they might avoid a lot of the misery caused by my mistakes, my failures, and my sins, and the evils of the world's dating system that I participated in. It's one of the reasons I think I'm still alive. I know fathers and mothers in this church, I know that you cry out to God for the souls and lives of your sons and daughters. I encourage you to persevere and not grow weary in prayer and to know that when we've done all we can do, we have to leave everything in God's omnipotent hand.

We've done everything we could possibly do to steer everything on the right course. Maybe things fall apart, maybe they don't. But we have to leave it in God's omnipotent hand. And again, I thank God for the young men of this congregation and the young ladies of this congregation, I know that you want to serve the living God. I know that, I know that's your heart's desire.

And I keep saying I'm ending, right? Let me ask you, let me end with this. Pray, pray every day. Young man, pray every day for that woman God has ordained will be your future wife pray for her purity pray she's kept pure prayer she pray she's kept safe Pray that no other young man steals anything from her emotionally or in any other way that doesn't belong to him but belongs to you because you're her future husband. Pray that God will mold you into the man you need to be to be married and be a father and young ladies, pray for that man who has your name stamped on his forehead, because he does right now.

I tell my children all the time, I tell my girls all the time, there's some guy out there and he's got your name stamped on his forehead, he can't see it, God knows, God knows. Pray that He'll be kept from the evil one. Pray for him now like you will pray for him after you're married. Pray that He'll be delivered from evil. Pray He'll be a holy man.

Pray for His purity before marriage. Pray that God will deliver him from the snares of Satan. Pray that he'll be conformed more and more to Christ every day. Pray that he'll be made a man for God's own heart. Pray that he'll study Christ and be conformed more and more to Christ as he approaches the day when he will meet you and get to know you and be drawn to you and set his sights on you and approach your Father hopefully, who will one day give you to Him in marriage.

And pray young men and young ladies that your future marriages will honor God and that together you will bring glory to God and enjoy Him forever. Amen.