In his sermon, Steve Hopkins discusses what a young Christian man should look for in a future wife, drawing extensively from Proverbs 31. He emphasizes the importance of finding a virtuous woman whose qualities are far above rubies. The sermon contrasts the Proverbs 31 woman with the Proverbs 7 woman, highlighting virtues such as chastity, modesty, diligence, and a focus on family and home life. Hopkins stresses the significance of a woman's relationship with her parents, her understanding of biblical submission, and her desire for children. He advises young men to consider a woman's prayer life, her love for God, and her ability to manage household responsibilities. The sermon also encourages young men to seek counsel from their parents and to pray for themselves and their future wives. Ultimately, the sermon underscores the importance of aligning with a partner who shares similar values and commitments, both spiritually and domestically.

If you would turn with me in your Bibles to the book of Proverbs, the 31st chapter, and let's stand together and read verse 10 of Proverbs 31 and verse 10 only. Let's read together the word of the Lord. Who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies? Amen. Let's pray.

Father, our Father, high above the whole world, we bless your holy name, we worship and adore you, our God and our salvation. And God, once again we pray, Lord, earnestly that you would work a work of the Spirit in the hearts and the lives of your people this afternoon in this assembly of the saints for your glory God and for the glory of the name of your Son our Lord and our Savior Jesus Christ amen. Let's be seated. In our last session we asked the question and the title of the message was what should a young lady be looking for in a future husband that is a Christian young lady. In a few minutes we're going to be turning that around and asking the question, what should a young man, a young man who's truly Christian, be looking for in a future wife?

But first, six minutes of review. Some people were not here and I thought it would be helpful to have a few minutes of review here. But we looked at a lot of scripture last week and I said, young ladies, does the man that you're interested in for marriage, that man you make covenant with in holy matrimony before God, is that young man under authority? Very important place to start with authority. Does he honor God-ordained authority?

Then we ask does he honor civil authority, Romans 13 and 1? Does he honor family authority, his father and his mother, Ephesians 6, 2 through 3? Does he honor ecclesiastical authority? Is he a member of a church and accountable to the government of that church, Hebrews 13, 17. These are things that really matter when you're considering a young man for marriage.

And sometimes you won't think it's so important now, but later on you realize these things are really very important. Another thing we looked at is he a man who is employed, gainfully employed, and who works hard. And we went through several passages of Scripture from Proverbs, Proverbs 18, 9, Proverbs 21, 25, and many others. And then we asked, what does this young man believe about the roles of husbands and wives? And we were talking about in the home.

For instance, one of the for instances, does he believe that wives are to be, quote, keepers at home as the focus of their duties as we read in Titus 2 5 is that something that he believes or is he a is he a man who who's going to expect his wife to enter the workforce after they're married things you need to know are you on the same page Is he a man who understands the God-ordained role of men as providers for their wives and children? 1st Timothy 5, 8. Because think about it, if he doesn't and you do, there's going to be serious incompatibility. What about children? What is his heart toward children?

Very important. Is he a man who believes that children are a blessing from the Lord and a reward? Proverbs 1.27.3. Is he a man who desires children or is he a man who will expect his wife to use chemicals and devices to impede procreation? Genesis 1.28.

Be fruitful and multiply. These are things you you need to know about him and questions fathers should be asking up front when they're talking to suitors. And I stressed, of course, it's not always God's plan that couples are able to bear children. It's not always God's plan that couples are able to bear children, but it is the pattern throughout scripture that godly husbands and wives desire children. Does he desire children?

Does he love children? Is he a man who loves children? Proverbs 4.3. Have you watched him and noticed that he really does love children and exemplifies the character of a man who will spend himself for his children in his time with his children one day. Deuteronomy 131 Matthew 7-11 and then what about discipline?

Are you on the same page of discipline? Is the young man that you are interested in for marriage, does he understand and embrace what the Bible teaches about the discipline of children? Does he understand, for instance, that to spare the rod is equated with hating one's child while the due chastening of a child is an act of love? Proverbs 13 24. Is he a man who understands a father's God-ordained mission to raise up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

Ephesians 6, 4. Is he a man who is resolved to open the scriptures with his family every day? Is he going to do that? Is that something you'd like to know ahead of time? Is he going to open the Scriptures with his family every day in family worship?

Deuteronomy 6, 6-7, Ephesians 6-4. And what about education? Has he resolved to protect his children from the evil influences of the government education system. Is he a man who wouldn't dream of putting his children in a situation where they would be walking in the council of the ungodly or sitting in the seat of those who scorn God and his words? Psalm 1.

Again, these are questions that every young woman should be concerned about and not just assume the answers to and things that every father should be asking suitors upfront. Another one we looked at, is he a man of moral purity? Despite what his past may have been, is he a man who has established a track record of obedience to God and holiness of life? 1 Corinthians 6 11, 1 Peter 1 15, the holy for I am holy, Hebrews 12 14, without holiness no man shall see the Lord is he a man who is in God's Word daily seeking him seeking to keep himself pure. Psalm 119 is he a man who is determined that his eyes will be for his future wife and her alone Has he made a covenant with his eyes, as Job said, not to even think on a young lady in an unwholesome way?

Psalm 1013. Does he have personal convictions? Think about this. Is he a man who's resolved not to set any wicked or evil media before the eyes of his family? Psalm 1013.

Does he have convictions of his own about these things? Is he a man who you can say by looking at his life is not being conformed to the world but being transformed by the renewing of his mind through the study of the Word of God, Romans 12.2. Is he a man you can follow? Very important. A man who understands his role to be the spiritual leader of his wife and household.

Is he someone that you can follow in that role, that God-ordained role? 1 Corinthians 11, 3. Is he a man who after God will put you first? Ephesians 5, 25. Five, is he a servant-hearted man?

Mark 10, 45. Is he a man who knows how to, who will know how to wash his wife in the word of God, Ephesians 5 26, is he a humble man? God gives grace to the humble, James 4 6. Or is he a prideful, a man of a prideful spirit that the word of God says is headed for a fall? Proverbs 16 18.

Is he a compassionate man, a man who genuinely cares about the plight of others? Is that something you can see in his life, who helps people in need? Matthew 9, 36, Luke 10, 25-37. Does he seem to be a man after God's own heart? Just wants to do the will of God, Acts 13 22.

Is he a man who loves God and the people of God? First John 5 1, is he a man who fears God? Proverbs 9 10. Is he a man who loves the word of God and meditates on it? Psalm 119 97.

Is he a man that you could say, he's like Abraham. I believe he will command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord, Genesis 18, 19. Is he a man who doesn't fear the face of men? Very important in every generation, but very, very important in the generation in which we now live. Is he a man who will not fear, who does not fear the face of man, who is not afraid to stand up on the front lines and do battle with the popular culture warriors and the Goliaths of his day?

Psalm 94, 16. Is he a man, I said in our last session, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who can look into the eyes of a wicked, desperate, a wicked leader and say without flinching, my God's able to deliver us. But even if he doesn't, our family is not going to bow to the idols of this age. Is he the kind of man who'd rather suffer injury and insult than to run from a fight where the honor of God is at stake? Matthew 10 28.

Is he a man like Joshua who would say, as for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord? Joshua 24 15. Is he a protector, A man who will lay down his life for you, rather than expect you to lay down your life for him. John 10, 11. Is he a man who desires and works for the advancement of Christ's kingdom?

Who's not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Mark 6, 15, 16, 15, Romans 1, 16. Is he a man of prayer? Psalm 109, 4. Is he a man who seeks to be filled with the Spirit of God?

By looking at it, when you say that, he really just wants to be full of the Spirit of God. Ephesians 5 18, and he's a man who exhibits somewhat of the fruits of the Spirit of God. No one's going to be doing that perfectly. But do you see that? Do you see some indication that wow, I see the fruits of the Spirit working in this young man of love and of joy and of peace and of patience and of kindness and of gentleness and of self-control, of self-control.

Galatians 5 22. And then we ended, I said, and then finally, is he a man or is he still a boy? The Apostle Paul said, when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13 and 11. And then as we ended our session last week, I encouraged the young men to spend a lot of time in the book of Proverbs.

Why? Because the book of Proverbs addresses young men and sons more than any other book of the Bible. If you had, I didn't say this last week, but I was thinking later, you know, if you had a letter that was addressed to you personally from God or spoke to you personally over and over again, would you be very excited to read it? Proverbs is pretty close to that for young men and sons. And we opened it up and kind of looked at it a little bit.

In the first chapter it starts addressing them. In verse 4 we read, to the young man, to give knowledge and discretion. First rattle out of the box, and he's addressing young men, to young men. And then the book of Proverbs goes on to address young men and sons over 40 times. Just listen to a couple of these, let them sink in.

My son, Hear the instruction of your Father. My son, if you will receive my words, my son, forget not my law. My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord. Hear, oh my son, and receive my sayings, and your years shall be many. My son, keep your father's commandment.

Cease, my son, from the instruction that causes you to err from the words of knowledge. My son, give me your heart. On and on, addresses are made to young men and sons. And then when you get to the last chapter, and here we go, chapter 31, please listen, because it is, it's a mother speaking. Now it's a mother speaking.

What, my son, says the mother, what, the son of my womb, that is who I carried in my womb and labored with great pain to bring into the world what the son of my vows, that is the son that I've been earnestly praying for and making vows before God for, my son. And Her instruction goes on for nine verses about so many things. And then in verse 10, she begins to instruct her son on what to look for in a wife. And this is where we've been going. She details the character of the excellent wife, the kind of woman she knows that her son should be seeking for.

Matthew Henry comments some 300 years ago in these passages, this is, quote, the description of a virtuous woman, either as an instruction to her daughters or as a direction to her son in the choice of a wife. That's Matthew Henry 300 years ago. Or as a direction, so your daughters can get something out of this, right, looking at it, looking at the description of the virtuous woman, and then sons can get something out of it as they are pursuing a wife and need direction in the choice of a wife. Matthew Henry goes on, the description of the virtuous woman is designed to show what kind of wives the women should be and what kind of wives the men should choose. Quote, she must be chaste, says Henry.

That means a girl who's resolved to be pure under the marriage bed, no matter what her past may have been. She's resolved to be pure. She's chaste and she's got a track record now of this. And modest, he says, and diligent and frugal, dutiful to her husband, careful that is full of concern and always caring for her family, discreet in her discourse and the education of her children. And above all, conscientious of her duty toward God.

Such a one as this, says Matthew Henry, if he can find her, if he can find her, will make him happy. Who can find a virtuous woman, a virtuous wife? It's not like you just go out anywhere and she's there, she's all over the place. No, you've got to look for her like a jewel, like a gem, like you're hunting for treasure, because she is a treasure when you find her. She will be a great treasure when you find her.

Many years ago, I preached a sermon that contrasted the description of the virtuous woman, the excellent wife in chapter 31 of Proverbs, with the worldly woman of Proverbs 7. With the worldly woman of Proverbs 7. And I said we live in an age that praises the Proverbs 7 woman of the world. You know that? Books, TVs, magazines, media, anywhere you go, the Proverbs 7 woman of the world, described in Proverbs 7, is the one who is elevated, while the Proverbs 31 woman of God and everything we read about her is mocked.

The Proverbs 7 woman is a wife, but far from a virtuous wife, and she's not the kind of woman any godly young man would want to pursue for marriage. Proverbs 7 verses 10 through 27 describe her as the kind of woman that the world of our day praises. Proverbs 31 again describes a woman that's praised by her husband and her children, but condemned by the world of our day. The Proverbs 7 woman is immodest, and she, quote, dresses in the attire of a harlot. She is, here's some of her descriptions, she's loud, she's stubborn, she's immoral, she's wasteful, And her feet abide not in her house.

Whereas the Proverbs 30 woman is a virtuous woman. She is a woman of strong moral character. She is morally grounded, a firmly rooted woman. A woman who is continually serving her husband and family. A faithful woman of moral soundness that can be trusted.

The heart of her husband does safely trust in her. Verse 11. She is a virtuous woman. Has anyone ever studied that? Studied that?

What does it mean to be a virtuous woman? This is the woman that you should be looking for. This is the woman that you should be looking for. This is the woman that you should be seeking. Young men in marriage, the virtuous woman, in Ruth chapter 3 and verse 11, were told that Ruth was known by all to be virtuous.

You might want to turn to the passage, Ruth 311, she's a virtuous woman and everyone who observes her knows it. You get her, man, you got a good girl. You got a good wife. Ruth 311, all The city of my people know that you're a virtuous woman. Everybody knows it.

And they kinda know it, you know, when the girl's not really a virtuous girl, right? They kinda know that too. They kinda go, oh no, no, stay away from her. When you ask for counsel, You know, a young man who is pursuing a wife should study the virtuous woman. A note in my Bible says on this section, this section extols the virtues of a wife who exemplifies the principles of wisdom, both practically and spiritually.

The Proverbs 31 woman is a virtuous woman a woman of many virtues and her price is far above rubies She is like a rare gem. She is a godly girl is rare ever so rare in our world today. The Proverbs seven girl is everywhere to be found, right? It says her feet abide not in her home. She's everywhere you look.

You can find her, it says, on the streets, in the markets, and on every corner. Well, the Proverbs 31 kind of woman is hard to find. Again, a rare gem. I know in my Bible commentary says that the Proverbs 7 woman, her feet abide not in her house, she's not content to devote herself to her husband, children, and household work. She's not content with that, close quote.

A Proverbs 31 type girl will typically be a Proverbs 31 kind of wife. This is why you can take Matthew Henry's advice and just check her out from scripture. But again, instead of the Proverbs 7 woman, her feet abide not in their house. Such a girl was Dinah. Remember in Genesis chapter 34.

Didn't go well with Dinah. She quote, went out to see the daughters of the land. That is, to hang out with the daughters of the land, of the world, without accountability or protection. Whereas in Calvin's words, she quote, ought to have remained under the eyes of her mother, end quote. Totally the opposite of what is lifted up in the world today.

Independence, independent, be independent. Independent of father, independent of mother, independent of parents, that you want is independent, that's what you want is independence, and you marry her and guess what? She wants to be independent of you. Independence. Remember the old 60s feminist hit, these boots are made for walking.

And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you. Anyone ever heard that? But is that what you want? You want the feminist woman of the 60s?

No, we don't want that, right? She should have remained, Calvin said, under the eyes of her mother. In Titus chapter 2, the apostle Paul instructs the older women of the church to teach the younger women. People ask the question, can women teach? Can women teach?

Can women teach? Sure they can, but it's qualified and it's limited. The Bible says that the older women can teach the younger women and ought to teach the younger women what? What things? Scriptural doctrine and all those things.

No, it doesn't say that. It says, the older women should teach the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, to be chaste, and to be keepers at home so that the word of God won't be blasphemed. Young man, search this girl out, the girl who has been instructed in these things by the godly older women in her life. Seek her out and find her and you will have found a gem. Proverbs 7 woman again is not discreet.

She's not chaste. She's not focused on her home and family. Her only focus is on physical attraction. Attracting guys. By the way, she looks and dresses.

The Proverbs 31 type girl is dressed attractively, but not seductively. She's concerned with her appearance, but it isn't the chief thing she's concerned with. The apostle Peter in 1 Peter chapter three speaks negatively of women who are chiefly concerned with their outward adornings, like their hair and clothes and jewelry, but positively of those who are chiefly concerned with inward adornings, things that God views of the highest value. It's not like, well, we don't set these things completely apart, and I'm just going to wear a potato sack and have my hair all messy. That's not what he's saying.

There's this contrast between the woman that that's all she's about. It's just all outward things. And then the woman who is about inward things. And it says, Peter says, The woman who is concerned about even the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit. This is how she's described.

Her ornament, her adorning is not just all this outward stuff. She has the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit. And then listen to what he says right after this, which is in the sight of God of great price. If it's in the sight of God of great price, it should be to husbands and to young men who are seeking future wives as well. Is the woman you're interested in of a meek and of a quiet spirit.

It matters. What is the spirit of the girl you're considering for marriage? It's gonna matter, guys. The things that don't fade or decay are gonna matter. A young man I was talking to recently told me that a quiet spirit in a young lady was one of the things he looked for most in his pursuit of a future wife.

Why then? Why then does this proverb seven woman get the most attention in our world today? I've noticed several times over the, over the years when I'm out with my sons in different places and, and there always seems to be a girl who is obnoxiously loud, seemingly trying to draw the attention of my sons in her direction. You look and they're they're looking this way and they're getting she's getting louder and louder and you know laughing really loud everything just whatever to try to get get the guys to kind of look and sometimes they'll kind of go what's going on over there you know And she often seems to be the most immodest one in the crowd. The Proverbs 7 girl is brazen, she's loud, She dresses immorally to catch the eyes of every young man passing by.

Well, the Proverbs 31 girl, listen to this, is chaste. She's discreet. And she's wrapped in a beautiful, yet modestly concealed package that she has reserved for only one man to open you on your wedding night, her future husband. And oh this girl, if you can find her, her price, her value is far above rubies and in the sight of God of great price. One of the Puritans once said, a diamond though costly, only reflects the light shined on it, while the ruby reflects its internal beauty." Close quote.

Back to Proverbs 31, verse 12 says she's the kind of woman who will do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. Does that sound good, guys? Sounds good. Do you good? Not evil all the days of your life.

Seek her out. Find her. Verse 26 says, she opens her mouth in wisdom. And in her tongue is the law of kindness. Young men, listen to what's rolling off the lips of that young lady that you're interested in as she talks with those around her, even those closest to her, to her parents, to her brothers, to her sisters in the home.

Does she open her mouth wisely? Does she speak? Does she consider her words before she speaks? And does she speak with graceful words of kindness? Let your speech be always with grace.

Colossians 4.6. Verses 15 and 18 tell us that this virtuous woman, the excellent wife, rises early and her candle goes not out by night. What does this mean? She's not wasting her days. You say, does this matter?

All these things matter because what you see in this young lady in the way that she operates in her life before marriage and in her home is going to be the way, most likely, typically the way that she's going to operate in your home one day after she's married. It's not like things just automatically kind of change, you know, immediately. No, this is the way she is, I've been observing this, that's good, or wow, I've been observing this and that's not so good, I really don't want this to transfer into the new household. She's not wasting her day, she's conscientious of her time. Verse 19 says she works diligently with her hands.

That is, her hands are always busy. And what are they busy about? Read it. All the needs of her family. She's doing this and doing that.

She's just, she's continually, Her hands are continually busy about the needs of her husband and her family, this Proverbs 31 woman that you need to be looking for. A note in my Bible commentary says in this verse, quote, she cheerfully and sacrificially works in the home. And young men, again, I think you really, you have to get a glimpse, you've got to get a glimpse of a young lady in her home. Yeah, get a glimpse of her in her home. If you want a good picture of what she's all about.

Be around her in her home. It's telling, you know. In verse 16, we see her gardening. Does that mean every godly girl has a green thumb? No, it's not what it's saying.

In verse 13, she's sewing. In verse 15, she's cooking, you know, and getting up early and making breakfast for everyone in the family. These are just descriptions of a woman who is busy at home and doing the kinds of things that make a home a good place to be. And if she's doing that in her home, she's growing up, a lot of times she's gonna do that in her home, you know, with you. That's typically the way it works.

But again, These are descriptions of a woman who's busy at home, doing the kinds of things that make a home a good place to be. In verse 20, look at verse 20, we read of her stretching out her hand to the poor, reaching for their hands to the needy. In other words, she's a compassionate woman. We ask that about young men. Is he a compassionate young man?

I quoted the scripture from Christ having compassion on the multitudes and the passage of the good Samaritan. He's not going to just pass by on the other side. Is she a woman? You look at her and you go, she has compassion for other people. She really has compassion on others, orphans and widows and the hungry and those who are in need.

She gives of herself and her time to others. You know, Rebecca in the Bible, you look at her and it says she was fair to look upon. Okay, She was fair to look upon. But then look at what she's doing. She's involved in the work of her household.

When Abraham's servant comes on the scene, and what does she do? She takes time to help a total stranger. What a compassionate girl. And she's hospitable. Yeah, we got lots of stuff at our house.

Come on. But back to Proverbs 31. In verses 16, 18, and 24, we see her involved in money-making projects. Wow. Yeah, she's buying and selling stuff.

She's making investments with the proceeds of her ventures. And all the while she's looking well to the ways of her household, verse 27. To sum it all up, she's the kind of woman who, quote, eats not the bread of idleness, it says. She's not idle, she's on the go, she's doing all these things to benefit the welfare and economy of her family, and guess what? She'll do that one day in your household as well.

If you can find her. And if you back up to verse 17, we read, she girds her loins with strength and strengthens her arms. I was going to say she works out. Wives, they don't put that in there. I mean, it doesn't really mean that, right?

But she's not sitting around vegetating. She's active. She's doing all the things from the home base, with the interest of her husband and family in view. But she doesn't neglect her body in the process. There's some concern here.

She girds her loins with strength and she strengthens her arms. Find this woman that we're talking about here young man. In verse 11 says you'll have no need of spoil. What is spoil? That's the things you get from like conquerors going in and take a country and take it over and you get all their stuff, right?

You won't have any need of that. No need, it's the same word, Hebrew word found in Psalm 23 where it says, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Same phrase. You'll have no need. That is, no need, no lack of anything that a man really needs in this life that a woman can provide.

She'll be better to you than the spoils of war, even in great riches. Find this girl and she will be a peculiar treasure to you. And Although she may be the most beautiful girl you ever laid your eyes on. And I hope she is. And I hope that's what you communicate to her.

Remember that charm and beauty. What does it say? Charming personality, beauty, external beauty. It can be temporary. Maybe temporary.

We all get older. We all decay, right? The last verse says that they're ultimately vain. These things are ultimately vain. They're not the important things.

But a woman who fears the Lord, who reverences God, she's gonna be praised. By who? By her husband and by her children. Wow. Her husband praises her.

Her children rise up and They call her blessed. Her price is far above rubies. Now as we draw to a close, young men, I don't know who's going to listen to this message, maybe a sermon audio or whatever, sermon audio. I know I probably say some things here that just, you know, Like I said a couple weeks ago, get you run out on a rail of many churches. But young men, seek the guidance of your parents.

Seek the guidance of your parents when you're pursuing a marriage, when you're pursuing marriage. Your parents will not always be right. Sometimes they will be dead wrong. But you have biblical precedent to consider their counsel. You have biblical precedent.

Listen to this, this is Genesis 26, 34 through 35. Here we read, and Esau was 40 years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beirut the Hittite. Now of course, Jacob is also 40 right, because they're twins, right? He's 40 years old and He says, I'm not taking the counsel, I'm not taking any advice from my parents. He takes him the daughter of Beirut the Hittite, which the Jews weren't to mingle with, and bash him off the daughter of Elon Musk, no, Elon the Hittite, sorry, Elon the Hittite.

And then it says, verse 35, which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah. He just grieved their parents. Just grieved them. And then in Genesis 27, 28, it says, and Rebekah said to Isaac, I'm weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth, because of these girls that I'm seeing around here in the world, around us. If Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, that is like Esau did, such as these which are of the daughters of the land.

What good shall my life do me? And Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and charged him and said unto him, thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. One of the Puritans said this, Parents are not allowed to arrange marriages. You have to have consent on all sides of all of this. We've been through this stuff.

We're not gonna go back over all this right now. A daughter is given in marriage. A young man goes and takes a wife, okay? And It's on him. He's gotta decide.

He's got to seek God and pursue a woman that he believes God would have her to marry, but he needs to consider the counsel of his parents. One of the Puritans said, Jacob had the advice of his mother, the direction of his father, and the consent of them both. You won't always have that, you know. You should seek it. Again, parents will not always be right in their godly counsel, but nine out of 10 times, the discernment and counsel of godly parents is wise.

Above all, of course, consult the Scriptures. Does the girl you have set your sights on, we looked at some of these things with the young men, does she honor her father and mother? What's her relationship like with her father? What's it like? She'll say, I don't care about that.

Well, no, You should care about that. It's telling as to how she's going to treat you if you marry her. Does she understand the requirement of wives to submit to their husbands as under the Lord, Ephesians 5 22? So I don't want to bring that up with her. There's a point where you probably should.

You know? And your responsibility in the picture of the man and the woman, you know? I'm dedicated and resolved to love you as Christ loved His church. Are you dedicated to submit to me as unto the Lord? Wow.

Wait a minute. My wife says this is a question a young man needs to find out the answer to because if she embraces biblical submissions She's way out ahead of the pack Way out ahead of all these other girls and you know a young lady who's not under the authority of her father will have a difficult time being under the authority of a husband. We asked some of these questions about young men earlier. Does she love God? Does she love the people of God?

Is she a humble girl? Does she have a prayer life? Do you have a prayer life? What's your prayer life like? I mean, These are the kind of things that matter.

Is she in the word of God every day? You ask her all these things. So you have a Bible, like you read the Bible? Yeah, you read the Bible every day? You have like a program or reading?

How does your Bible reading go? What about your prayer life? What's it like? And you tell her what yours is like, well, here's what I do. You know, these are things in amongst all the other things of romance that you need to know.

But is she in the word of God? Is she show forth somewhat of the fruits of the Spirit, as we ask of the young men? Patience, kindness, joy, goodness, self-control, all of these things. Is she diligent and happy in her work in the home where she's living now? Does she love children?

Does she love babies? Does she even want children? These are questions you can't just assume the answer to. All the godly women of scripture wanted to bear children even when it wasn't in God's immediate plan. Does she believe that children are a blessing from the Lord and a reward?

Is she on board with your vision for educating and discipling your children? Is she dedicated to homeschooling them with you? Or is she thinking, no, I just assume we're gonna put them in the public education system. So my family always did. Well, no, our family didn't do that.

Well, we never talked about that. We need to talk about it. Is the young lady you're interested in planning a career? Is she planning to be, or is she planning to be a wife and mother? These are things you have to find out.

Who was it that said, you can be a career woman, or You can be a mother, but you can't be both. Which is she? Nancy Campbell of Above Ruby says, God doesn't give us our children to give them to someone else to care for while we do our thing. And remember, just like I said with the men earlier, if a woman embarks on a career and children are seen as an interruption of her career, she's most likely going to want to go down the road of using artificial means to impede the natural function of her body to bear children. Or she's going to want to put your children in daycare and then later on into the public schools.

These are questions that a young man needs to be asking up front just as we said with young ladies. You know if you aren't on the same page on all of these kinds of things, these basic things, you're going to have serious incompatibility that will lead to all kinds of strife in your marriage. But she had a nice personality and she's beautiful, Okay, that's great. Everybody wants a beautiful wife with a great personality you can talk to and everything. You know, like Paul Washer said, what happens if one day you can't talk to her, or one day her beauty fades?

What happens then? You know, So you have to look at the things that are very important, the things that are going to be lasting, and also see if there's compatibility on these things. I mentioned earlier how it's such a blessing to find a young lady who has been discipled by her mothers and the godly older women of their church. If you can find a girl like that, who's been discipling you? Well, my mom and other ladies in the church and everything he's got.

Here's this godly woman that really kind of, you know, took me in, taught me these things or whatever. He's taught me the younger women to be sober, to love their children, to love their children, to love their husbands, to be discreet, chase keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed. Wow, you had someone discipling you in all these things? Yeah, wow, that's great. And then I'll just end with this.

Scott Brown, Scott Brown used to ask the young ladies, he asked our daughters when they were all younger, you know, are you happy? I remember at the bar and dough one day, are you happy? Are you happy? Are you happy at home? You know the Proverbs 31 type girl is content at home.

She's happy in her home. She loves family life. She loves family life. Young men, Find a happy girl who loves God and loves others and loves family life and church life, you know, and exemplifies these traits or is on a trajectory there, is showing forth many of these traits of the things we've looked at and then go for it, you know, go for it, but young men You need to be praying You need to be praying You need to be praying for that young lady who has your name stamped on her forehead right now, even though you can't see it You need to be praying for her and You need to be praying for that young lady who has your name stamped on her forehead right now, even though you can't see it. You need to be praying for her.

And you need to be praying for yourself. Praying for yourself, Lord, make me the godly man that I should be. Prepare me to be a godly husband and a godly father. And Lord, draw me to the kind of woman who will be a godly wife and mother whose price is far above rubies. Let's pray.

Father, may your word find a place in every heart. In Jesus' name, amen.