In his sermon, Peter Allison discusses the qualifications for church elders, focusing on the biblical requirement that an elder must be the husband of one wife. He emphasizes the importance of character in leadership and how marriage serves as a significant indicator of a person's character. Allison explains that the role of an elder is identified by three terms in the New Testament: overseer, elder, and shepherd, each highlighting different responsibilities such as oversight, maturity, and care for the congregation. The sermon also addresses how marriage is a testing ground for Christian character, requiring qualities like self-denial, exclusive love, and humility. Moreover, Allison explores the complexities of interpreting the phrase 'husband of one wife,' discussing various viewpoints on whether an elder must be married, can remarry after a spouse's death, or be divorced. He stresses that an elder's personal life must not undermine his teachings, as hypocrisy can erode moral authority and effectiveness in ministry.

Please turn in your scriptures to 1 Timothy, the third chapter, the first verse. This is the section of Paul's instruction to his true son in the faith, Timothy, so that he would know how to conduct himself in the house of God. This section pertains to the qualifications of overseers. Hear God's word. This is a faithful saying, if a man desires a position of a bishop, he desires a good work.

A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous, One who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence. For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? Not a novice, thus being puffed up with pride, he fall into the same condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil." May God revive us according to His Word. Father in heaven, may Your Word pass from our ears swiftly into our hearts.

May we be sanctified this morning by it. Set apart as vessels for your service. May you bless the preaching of your word and sanctify my sinful lips that they may proclaim the riches of Your grace through Jesus Christ. Amen. One of the most important decisions that you will probably make in your life, your personal life, is who to marry.

And one of the most important decisions that a church makes in their life is who their elders will be. In the past few weeks we have been looking at church officers, these elders, beginning with elders. And the first question that we answered regarding elders was, Who are they? And we saw that they were identified, they are identified by three separate terms in the New Testament which by themselves provide a lot of insight into who these elders are. They are called overseers or bishop.

Same word. That's someone with oversight. Someone who is carefully to watch over people and to watch over the public worship of God as an overseer. They are also called elder or presbyter. Again, the same word.

An elder is someone who is mature. Mature not just in age, but in the faith. They are those who are mature and who represent us. They are also called shepherds or pastors, again the same word. A shepherd is someone who is to protect and to provide food and nourishment to Christ's flock.

Someone who is to provide special care to the sick, the weak, the infirm, the injured. That's the work of a shepherd. The second question that we looked at was, where did they come from? They are called, equipped, and sent by Jesus Christ. They are His messengers, His heralds to His people.

And their call is confirmed by being chosen, or this call of God, this commissioning from God, is confirmed by being chosen and called by God's people, and commissioned, set apart by the laying on of hands, by the presbytery. The third question then that we looked at was what they must be. And last week we considered this requirement to be blameless or above reproach. We saw it didn't mean sinless. There's nobody that's sinless.

No man other than Christ, of course. But it means that there is no sin that would bring reproach on that person. No one can bring a charge that would stick. Because there's nothing that could be charged with, nothing that someone could be charged with that isn't common to man. And this we saw was a requirement that subsumes or incorporates the following 16 requirements that we read this morning that Paul gives in this passage as requirements for those who would be elders and deacons.

A man who is not temperate, not sober minded, not violent, or who is greedy, quarrelsome, covetous, or who doesn't rule his own house well, He's not going to be above reproach. He won't be blameless. There'll be things, charges that could stick. This morning we're going to look, though, at the requirement to be the husband of one wife. And we'll look at it under two headings this morning.

The first, what is the importance of this requirement? Why is it so important that an elder be the husband of one wife. And second, we'll look at the meaning of that qualification. The husband of one wife. Turns out to be not quite as simple as it might seem.

But first this morning this question of why is this important? Why is this listed as the very first explanation of what it means to be blameless. I remember when President Clinton was running for his second term as president, He was embroiled, as you recall, in all sorts of scandals over his marital unfaithfulness. And one of the technicians with whom I worked at that time made a comment that he couldn't care less about his marital life as long as he kept the economy strong. Except he used a rather crude metaphor to refer to his marital life.

But I was a bit surprised at how naive that was. A man's marital life is a critical indicator of his character. It should be very important. To this man, character was unimportant. But to Paul and to us, character is very important.

And in explaining and illustrating what it means for a man to be blameless, Paul directs us to examine how a man stands in relation to his family. And foremost in answering how a man stands in relation to his family is the status of his marriage. How he stands in relation to his marriage, to his wife. Is he the husband of one wife? The importance of this is also shown in that this is the first requirement following blameless, both not only here, but also in the parallel passage in Titus 1, where Paul gives a similar list of qualifications.

But it's not just a requirement for elders and deacons, as we would fully expect. It's also a requirement for widows who were to be put on the list to receive financial support from the church. Paul says they have to meet several requirements. One of which was that they had to be at least 60 years old. But the other one, but the second one is that they were to be the wife of one man, one husband.

So this is important. It has a prominent place in these qualifications for anybody that is connected in some way, formal way, with the church. Of course, It's a requirement for anyone in general. But it's a must-have requirement for those who would be officers in the church or even widows on the roll. Because marriage, It's important also because marriage is a testing ground.

Marriage requires two sinners to work together in close quarters. And this working together in close quarters tests many aspects of our Christian character. It requires esteeming. Another, better than yourself. Philippians 2 says, let each esteem others better than himself.

It requires, marriage requires self-denial. It requires an exclusive sacrificial love, a faithfulness in it. It requires thinking about the interests and needs of others. Philippians 2 also says, let each of you not look out for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Marriage requires in a very specific way, looking out for the interests of others.

It requires confession of sin and the grace to extend forgiveness to one another. And that takes a measure of humility. You can't get away from the effects of sin. You know, with other people outside the family, you can run away. You can more easily run away.

You can avoid them. If there's unforgiveness, it may not show as quickly. But in the home, in a marriage, you can't so easily escape the effects of unconfessed sin or unforgiveness. You see, the extent to which these qualities, these graces are practiced and present in a marriage has a direct impact on the quality of the marriage, and on the fruit that is produced in that marriage. It becomes evident in a much more public way than it does in singleness, when you are able to hide or conceal a lack of these characteristics.

Marriage also provides an opportunity to grow further in these graces. Now, to be sure, Marriage is not necessary to develop the fruits of the Spirit. These qualities can and they ought to be learned and cultivated long before marriage. But it does provide an environment to test and to cultivate these graces to a greater degree. It provides an opportunity, provides an environment where Theories are tested in the crucible of experience.

They move from theory to reality. And you know that there's always a learning curve when you go from the theoretical to the experiential. Marriage also provides a unique opportunity for feedback. You know, our spouses are usually much quicker to provide helpful feedback, especially about our weaknesses than those outside the house. And So that's a valuable learning opportunity.

But thirdly, marriage is very important. And the character and the quality of marriage is important because marriage is a type of Christ relationship to His bride, the church. Marriage is said to represent that, to be a type of that. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. And so our marriages to a greater or lesser degree, they either faithfully represent an accurate reflection of Christ's love of His bride, the church, or they reflect a warped and distorted reflection of Christ's love for His church.

Our marriage is continually broadcast in as A message. It's either a faithful, clear message that accurately reflects Christ's relationship to His church, or it's not. You've heard the expression, your example screams so loudly, I can't hear what you're saying? I'm sure you have. What's very relevant in this context?

If the message communicated by an elder's marriage and by extension his family is contrary to what he's preaching, the message preached in the example will completely undermine the message preached in the words. It will certainly undo it. You see, an elder represents Christ to the people. If he's not faithfully representing Christ in his marriage, how can he faithfully represent Christ to Christ's flock? From the luster to the greater.

What He's not doing in the home with His own wife, He can't be doing. He can't do to the church. If he's not exercising Christ-like oversight in his marriage, how can he exercise Christ-like oversight in the church? He's a Christ is the Great Shepherd. Christ is the Bishop of our souls.

The overseer, the elder in the church is an under-shepherd. And also, an overseer under Christ. But if he can't represent Christ-like oversight in his family, he won't be able to do it in the church either. If he's not bringing the Word to his wife, washing his wife with the water of the Word, how can he bring the Word to Christ's people? You see how these things all tie together.

And so that's why, another reason why marriage is such a significant and important qualification for an elder. But another reason that it is important is because it is hypocritical to teach something that you are not practicing. It is hypocritical to confront someone with a sin when the one doing the confronting is also guilty of that same sin. You see, in that situation, there's no moral authority to teach or to confront someone for a sin for which that person is also guilty. You remember the woman caught in adultery recorded in John 8, which the Pharisees brought this woman, caught in the very act, they said, of adultery to Jesus.

They were hoping to trap Jesus with this question. They asked them if the woman should be stoned as required in the law. Now they were right. The law did require stoning in the case of adultery. So they removed the factual question by saying that she was caught in the very act, so should she be stoned?

They thought they had Jesus in a difficult spot with how to answer that. But Jesus simply said, well, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. Now, He didn't mean somebody that had no sin. He meant let somebody who is not guilty of this sin of adultery be the first one to cast the stone." You see, he upheld the law, and he refuted their conniving. Remember what happened.

John records that all of her would-be accusers left, beginning from the oldest to the very youngest. None of them were above reproach. They all could have been charged with adultery After all this woman wasn't committing adultery by herself I wouldn't be surprised if they had set a trap to trap her and In or and and set up this whole thing in order to try and set a trap for Jesus. So they all left. None of them were able to bring a charge against her.

None of them were able to cast the first stone. And so you can see what happens when there is no moral authority to uphold God's law. It doesn't get upheld. Paul sums up the elder's responsibility in 2 Timothy 4 in this way. He says, Preach the Word, be ready in season and out of season, convince, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and teaching.

That's in one verse the work of an elder. If an elder is a poor example in his marriage, he loses both the ability to teach anyone about their duties in their marriage, and he loses the ability to confront anyone else about their failures in their marriage without being a complete hypocrite. If on the other hand, he's silent on these matters, then he completely fails as a shepherd and an overseer of souls who is responsible to convince, to rebuke, to exhort with all patience and teaching. You see, when you have unfaithful men who are in leadership in the church, you simply create a church that's filled with all the things that are represented in the leadership. Sexual unfaithfulness and all manner of other things that might destroy marriages tend to become excused.

Because the elders, the shepherds who are responsible to rebuke, exhort, and convict are unqualified to do that very work by their own failures in their own lives and marriages. So this is a very, very important qualification. It's essential. It's essential for a man to be blameless and it's essential for an elder to be the husband of one wife in order to faithfully represent Christ to His people. And to be able to carry out the work of a shepherd.

So secondly, this morning we wanted to look at what does it mean to be the husband of one wife. Now, you might think, what could be more plain or straightforward than this? Simple statement, four easily understood words. This is the most fundamental human relationship, husbands and wives. Everybody knows what a husband and wife means.

And the number one. Even little children know what one is, unless it's cookies that are in play, then one becomes something else. But it turns out that of all the requirements that are listed here, this one has the most diversity of understanding. And this diversity of understanding is not just with the recent attempts to redefine marriage and husbands and wives. There has been a diversity of views on this qualification going all the way back to the earliest church fathers.

And this diversity continues today. One commentator claimed to have found 11 different views on what these four words actually mean. All these different views really revolve around four basic questions pertaining to the number one. What does one wife mean? What does it mean to have one wife?

Four questions I think sum up basically the issues. First, does that mean an elder must be married? That he must be married? Could he not be married? Would he still meet that qualification?

Secondly, the Second question is, may an elder whose wife died, may he remarry? Would he still be the husband of one wife in that situation? Third question is, may an elder be divorced? Is he still the husband of one wife? Fourthly, may a divorced elder remarry, assuming they were the quote-unquote innocent party.

Depending on how you answer these questions, you could end up with actually, potentially, a number of different views. For those that like math, this is four independent questions that could be each answered in two ways. You know that that produces 16 potentially different views. Of course, a couple of those views aren't self-consistent, like forbidding a widower to remarry but allowing a divorced man to be remarried. But one of the commentators said they found 11 different views.

Maybe that would explain some of the 11 different views that they found. So the first question is, must an elder be married? The requirement is to be husband of one wife. Now many people would say today And in antiquity, and I think this may be a majority opinion, I don't know, just a guess, but I'm certainly comfortable saying many people today, and in antiquity, would say no. They don't have to be married.

That this requirement doesn't apply to them if they're not married. Chrysostom's view, John Chrysostom, he was an overseer of the church at Constantinople and he lived between 347 A.D. And 407 A.D. His view on this passage is that it merely prohibited polygamy, having two wives at one time. He says, quote, this he said, this he does, by this he does not lay down as a rule as if he must not be without one but as prohibiting his having more than one.

For even the Jews were allowed to contract second marriages, and even to have two wives at one time. For marriage is honorable." But he goes on to say, some, however, say that this is said that he should be the husband of one's wife. So even Chrysostom, back in the 300s, is acknowledging that there were people there who understood this to mean you had to be married to be an elder. But his view and Calvin took the same view as Chrysostom, that this was referring simply to polygamy because the Jews thought it was okay to have polygamous marriages. They followed Jacob and old David and other people in the Old Testament who were polygamists.

But that's wrong. And so that's what they say this means. Now those who would argue that this is not a requirement to be married often point to Paul as an elder who was not married. We know that and they assume that he never was married. And he was an elder and that's true, Paul was an elder.

He was an apostle, but he was also an elder. Peter was an apostle, but he called himself an elder. And so Paul would need to meet the requirements for an elder. And so the argument goes that if this was a requirement for elders to have to be married, to not be single, then it would make Paul somewhat hypocritical because Paul wasn't married and he's laying this requirement down for Timothy. He's holding himself out as an example for Timothy, as an example of what an elder is.

Somebody who Paul holds himself out as somebody who should be imitated. And so if he's not married, then it would be hypocritical to understand this as a requirement to be married. But I think that is a dangerous claim because the Scriptures are silent on whether Paul was married in the past or not. And there's nothing that's said about him never having been married. The only thing we know is that he wasn't currently married when he was serving as an apostle on his missionary trips.

But we really know nothing about whether he ever had been married. But Paul was a Pharisee of the Pharisees. And they were expected to marry very young. And so I think if we're going to guess anyway, I think it is more likely that he had been married than that he had not been married. And that his wife had died.

Anyways, we don't know, but what we do have here is the clear command that a man must be the husband of one wife. And I really don't see how you can get around that. He says he's the husband of one wife. It doesn't say if he is married, he has only one wife. He says he must be the husband of one wife.

Now that immediately raises the question, what about gifted single men? There have been a number of very gifted, single men that have served the church very capably. That's true. But that doesn't make it right. Consider all the men who have had very successful ministries, at least outwarily, but then they've fallen into grievous sexual sin.

And I'm not going to name anyone, but there are a number of prominent names that have been in the news in the recent years. The fact that their ministries were very successful in no way negates the disqualification of their sin. So the Lord can use unqualified people. He can use the rocks to cry out. But that's not an excuse for us to be silent, saying, well, God can use the rocks.

So I think the fact that there are very gifted single men who could serve as elders doesn't justify ignoring this requirement or considering it to not apply. David was a godly man. He was a polygamist, but he was a godly man. The Bible says he was a man after God's own heart. He was a type of Christ.

He is cited as a man of faith. And yet, he was not allowed to build the temple. He had a desire to build the temple. Through his conquest, he had gathered all of the gold and silver and bronze that were necessary to build the Tabernacle Temple. He had the relationships to get the cedar wood.

He had everything He needed. He had the desire to do it. He loved the Lord. He's called the sweet psalmist of Israel. Much of the psalms are written by him.

He's quoted in the New Testament by name. And yet He was not allowed to build the temple. Why? Because God said you had hands of blood. You were a man of war.

You were the one who conquered and subdued all these kings. You cannot build my temple because you're a man of blood. Now David was just doing what he was called to do. That was his duty as the king of Israel to defeat those enemies. He was a valiant warrior.

He never lost. And yet he was not qualified to build the temple. And I think that's how I would look at the view of very gifted single men. They have been gifted and God can mightily use them in His Kingdom, and does. It's just not as elders, just like He didn't use David to build the temple, because his hands were hands of blood.

So it didn't mean David wasn't a faithful person. It didn't mean he couldn't be used by God. And I would say the same of single men. So I think in answer to the question, must an elder be married? I believe that he must be.

Considering all that is implied, all that is learned through marriage, all that is revealed through marriage. The next question is, may an elder whose wife died, may he remarry? And again, there's a lot of division on this, but in this case, most of the division and the prohibition on remarriage comes from ancient Gnostic views that crept into the church that regarded marriage as almost a necessary evil. The shepherd of Hermos writes, there is no sin in marrying again, but if they remain unmarried, they gain greater honor and glory from the Lord, yet if they marry, they do not commit sin." See, according to these ideas, which did gain traction in the church, true perfection consisted in working oneself free from the ordinary relations and enjoyments of life. And so marriage, which formed the common basis of all of these kinds of things, was sort of seen as a service of the devil, utterly at variance with the higher spiritual aims.

You know, the body was evil. And a spiritual being must have nothing to do with it. So you had to abstain from all use of flesh and wine. You had to give yourself to fasting and bodily modification. Chrysostom himself lived in extreme asceticism and became a hermit for about two years in his life, continually standing, scarcely sleeping, and committing the Bible to memory.

As a consequence, his stomach and kidneys were permanently damaged, and his poor health forced him to return to Antioch. But, you see, these ideas of asceticism crept in that regarded marriage as somehow a necessary evil. And I think that's what colored these views about remarriage because the Bible says that when that death breaks the marriage bond but 1st Timothy 5 regarding widows that had to be wives of one man provides some help here. Because the exact same qualification is said of them and They were obviously widows, they weren't married. But they had to be, have been the wife of one husband.

The verb, there's no verb used in Timothy, of husband of one wife. But in 1 Timothy 3, but in 1 Timothy 5, 9, where it speaks of the widow, there is a verb. And that Greek verb actually communicates something. It communicates an effect that is completed, but that has continuing effect in the present. Something that is completed doesn't say when, it could have been completed in the present or the past or whenever.

It's simply that it's completed. But it has results, effects, things that, results that continue in the present, that are continuing, continuing results. So this is the verb that's used of widows. They were married. It's a completed action at some point, present or past.

And that marriage has continuing effect into the present. And that's what Paul says these widows had to be. And so even though there's no verb given in 1st Timothy 3, if we import that same understanding to this, we would say that Elders do not have to remarry in order to be the husband of one wife, just like the widow is the husband of one wife. An elder doesn't need to remarry in order to continue to be the husband of one wife. And there's some disagreement about whether an elder may remarry and I I know some even in the CPC that would hold they they shouldn't remarry but I I would be very hesitant to assert that simply because death does break the marriage bond.

Paul is very clear that you're no longer under bondage to the marriage vow you know what that relationship is done and So I believe it would be acceptable to remarry for an elder who his wife has died But the next question really is more, could May and Elder be divorced? I think this is a much more difficult question. And I'm not going to try to answer that this morning definitively. But I would say this, that I think the Scriptures speak against that. And certainly if they don't absolutely prohibit it with this statement, It does raise the question of qualifications regarding having one's house in order.

And this is again, just like in the case of singleness, this is not to deny people who have had a divorce in the past, who have repented of whatever sins were there in that divorce and they've married again, and God in His mercy has richly blessed that subsequent marriage, and they're serving the Lord. I think that's a beautiful thing to see. The Lord does redeem us and bring fruit from the ashes. So God in His mercy does bless marriages. And they can serve the Lord and they can be faithful in their church.

And they can uphold God's ideal and standard for marriage. And it can be a blessing in the church. And in many cases, there are many cases where that is true. But I think the point of being an elder needs to be very carefully examined. So what we can say though is that what everybody is in agreement on is that to be a husband of one wife requires one that you be a man.

And even the homosexual fornicators understand that. They're just deceived into thinking that two husbands can marry each other, but they understand husband is man. So this is saying you have to be a man. It is saying that there is no polygamy. That's a clear prohibition.

And some have understood this statement, the Roman Catholic Church in particular, to say that you're married to the church. And Calvin says it's a childish fancy to interpret this as meaning pastor of a single church. And I have to say there's no way to get that out of the grammar of that. But that is what some people believe. But thirdly, to be husband of one wife means to have eyes for one woman only.

It's saying there cannot be any hint of womanizing, of having eyes for other women, of viewing pornography as disqualifying. It's not to have to be the husband of one wife, and any kind of sexual immorality. A good husband, a husband and one wife needs to be completely devoted to the one woman who is his wife. It's to have an exclusive love, to give yourself 100% to someone and expect nothing in return. That's what love is.

It's a commitment for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer. It's a commitment in sickness and in health as long as there is life. This is what Paul says of husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. That He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word.

That he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

You see how the husband's love is to be modeled after Christ's love for the church. It's to be an exclusive love. It's to be a hundred percent devoted love. It's to be devoted to your wife. And that means leaving maybe some of your other friendships, or at least making them second priority where they used to be first priority in your life.

A husband, a one woman husband prays with his wife. He teaches her. He instructs her. Discusses the things of God with her. He shares his life with her, as together They walk with God.

You see, to be a husband of one wife is to be doing these things. If you're not the spiritual leader in your home, if you're not leading your family in the things of the Lord, beginning with your wife, then you're not a husband to your wife in a biblical fashion. You're falling short of that. To be a husband of one's wife is to give honor to her, to prefer her. And to give honor to her as a weaker vessel is to financially provide for her, to protect her.

So you'd perform those labors to provide financially. To be the husband of one's wife is to dwell with her in an understanding way. And There's a reason attached to it, so your prayers are not hindered. That's not only important for the family, but that's important for the church. The calling of an elder is the ministry of the Word and prayer.

Those are the two fundamental things. That's why deacons were ordained so that the Apostles could devote themselves to prayer and to the Word. You don't want a man in that office whose prayers are being hindered because he's not dwelling with his wife in an understanding way. So all these requirements, though, as we've seen, are things that are true, should be true for every husband in our midst. They must be true for the elder, but they ought to be true for us all.

May God enable us in His grace to be the husbands of one wife and wives of one husband. Heavenly Father, we thank You for the clarity of Your Word. We acknowledge that because of our sinfulness, we have a hard time understanding the things that ought to be clear. And we ask for Your Holy Spirit to be our leader, our teacher, our counselor. We ask for Your grace, Lord, in our lives as husbands, to be husbands of one wife, with all that that entails.

In shepherding, in walking humbly, in confession of our sins, especially against them, in living with kindness and harshness in living with an understanding way in protection and protecting and honoring our wives as weaker vessels father we ask that you would renew our zeal for this calling where you have given us where you have given wives we ask that you would renew our zeal for this calling where you have given us, where you have given wives. We ask that you would renew our commitment to those vows that we have taken some recently some decades ago. We ask Lord for your faithfulness by your grace until death part us. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.