The sermon, delivered at a father-daughter retreat, emphasizes the importance of being united with Christ and surrendering to God's plan. It discusses the struggles of submission to God as a shared human challenge and underscores the necessity of a heart committed to the Lord for a meaningful Christian life. The speaker employs a metaphor of fences and cliffs to illustrate the balance between protection and experiencing the beauty of God's world. The sermon advocates for a biblical understanding of womanhood, encouraging daughters to embrace fruitful work, deep relationships, and significant influence rooted in the Word of God. It cautions against adopting a defensive posture that limits the exploration and fulfillment of God's design for women. Fathers are urged to engage actively with their daughters, guiding them to make wise choices, ask meaningful questions, and pursue excellence. Examples from Scripture, such as Abigail and Esther, are used to demonstrate the consequential influence of women. The sermon concludes by calling for wisdom and collaboration between fathers and daughters in navigating cultural challenges.

Retreat talks tend to be on the more practical side, and I think that's good and helpful. But that is the right way to calibrate the start of our day. All of our days are held within his hands. His perfect love and favor have no end. We rest within the wisdom of your plan, everlasting God.

Being surrendered to God in our lives is not a problem unique to women or men or anyone in particular. It's a human race fall of Adam problem. We struggle to be submitted to God and to rest within the wisdom of his plan. So I just wanna say this. I hope what I say is practical and helpful but as Jason made the charge last night unless you are united with Christ unless your heart is surrendered before the Lord none of the things that we're talking about will be compelling to you none of them will have meaning or weight or a promise of something glorious in the future and that is what the life of the believer is.

So let's begin our time this morning in prayer and then we'll take a little journey together And as I said to Jason earlier, as someone who camped and got a limited number of hours of sleep, I'm off the hook for anything I say that's crazy. I'm just gonna, before I preach in the future, I'm just gonna camp and that's gonna be my crutch. Hopefully you guys don't catch on to me. But let's pray. Lord, what a beautiful song to sing that in the context of these lives that we're living and a desire to honor and glorify you and to mine out wisdom and truths from your word, you are the everlasting God.

You've made all of these things. You've made us for your glory. And we pray that our lives would reflect that glory and beauty in the world. Oh Lord, we pray as dads that we would lead our daughters towards that. And as the daughters in this room grow that their hearts would be oriented in that direction as well to Surrender fully to rest within the wisdom of the plan that God That you God have set before them in Jesus name.

Amen Well this this talk and really the I don't know if this is stable enough for that, the theme around this father daughter retreat started kind of turning over in my mind over the last couple of years and eventually Jason and I had a few talks about it. I'm glad that we could pull this off. It's been a delight to have you in our home. I want to say out of the gate, we're in a room that's pretty special. Many of our daughters are generation two, three, or even further into a line of parents who have worked hard to build their homes and their lives around God's design for manhood and womanhood.

And that's a blessing. That's a blessing. Because of that, A lot of the things that we're working over this weekend to elevate and expand upon and add color to on this subject of home builder are things, as Jason said last night, that they get to see play out on an everyday basis. It's the baseline, right? I hate to even say that, but it is the baseline in their lives.

And to that I say, and I'm sure you all say, praise God. Praise God for that. That's the foundation we want to be working from, not clawing back from the damage and dangers of the culture, we're blessed in many ways. And there are many that are fighting harder to recover ground, and we're blessed, and daughters, you're blessed, that we're building, from what I pray, as a very strong foundation, and you see that modeled in your home. While that's healthy and encouraging for our girls here, we don't have to look back far in history to see that our daughters and our children in particular need more than an example of what we're doing.

If it's all teaching no example, that's devastating, right? But if it's all example and we're not working hard to mine out the why of these truths and a biblical understanding of what we're doing, then we risk them seeing those things as optional. The things that we fought for, the things that we built, the things that we structured our life around become optional add-ons to theirs. And, God forbid, that's the case as we raise our daughters. In addition to that, every year that passes, the pressure on them to conform, to give way to the culture's ideas of what an empowered woman is, only grow stronger.

It's inside the church. It's packaged in many of the influences that enter our homes and that pools, and that pool lives within their own heart as well. So as a dad, as a fellow dad, I'm asking a couple generations into this, what makes it hold? What helps the roots go down deep? What is the right message for this audience?

We've been to a lot of father-daughter retreats. We know a lot of statistics. You know, I was looking up again, you go back 100 years, 9 out of 10 women were home builders in some sense, right? And now 1 out of 10 are at home with their children under 18. So we know the stats, we know the picture, right?

But I'm on a mission today to bring a dose of beauty and to reject the idea that biblical womanhood is a diminished life or less than dressed up as faithfulness to God. That is not the way we should view this design. So, Gary brought a tool to his message. So, I have a little something to share. Let's see if I can get it up here.

And it's a picture. And it's not shooting pictures, we'll get that. So here's my picture. Don't judge me, it's AI generated, of course, okay? But a picture's worth a thousand words, and so I wanna talk a little bit about this.

Imagine yourself, girls, situated in a big beautiful world that God's given you There's beauty to explore. I mean, it's a pretty picture, isn't it? There's beauty to explore sites to be seen and ground to be claimed but around you are very real dangers. Right beyond the perfect green grass is what? Fence.

Well, there is a fence, yes, but what's there? Someone said a cliff, right? It's a cliff with a treacherous drop that goes down to rocks and ocean below. The field feels wide open, right? Well, not with the fence, we'll talk about that in a second.

But you see that edge from a distance and you think that might be danger. And guess what? Your parents sense the danger too. So we build a fence. We build a perimeter.

And that's wise. Parents must build a fence. Our children are learning to grow in wisdom like we talked about last night in maturity, they need the guard rails. And that fence is good and wise. A prudent, Proverbs 22, three says, "'A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, "'but the simple pass on and are punished.'" Over the years that cliff, which sat at a distance, feels like it's closer and closer to the house and the yard where you play.

You play harder, you jump farther, you move faster than we expected, and we hear stories of some others who've maybe gone too close to that edge or gone over that edge. So we build another fence and another and another until at last the beauty that once surrounded you has been closed in by layers of protection. We may rest easy knowing that you're less likely to be hurt, but we can also be sure you won't experience the full beauty of the world God gave you. And I'm in it, today I'm making an effort to speak to this group and to me. This has been a message that I'm speaking into my own life in this season.

As conservative Christians, which we own that label for what it means, we want to be starkly against what we see in the world, navigating how to live for God in this generation of wreckage of modern womanhood, this can be one of our unique dangers. Our risk in reacting rightly to the real danger of the cliff is building a life that becomes mostly buffer from it. Oh I see it. I want to get taking three steps back, taking four steps back. And while that's well intentioned and some of those fences are very good, we can easily or inadvertently add to or narrow in on God's intent and avoid just to avoid approaching the edge.

And over time, that buffer makes the world God gave our daughters potentially feel smaller than it actually is. So here's what I want to say, girls, don't misunderstand. The dangers are very real. The dangers in your heart are very real. The dangers of the fall are very real.

The dangers in the culture are very real. And if they can, They will draw you to the edge of that hill or that cliff and they will dash that will throw you off the side of it But God does not call us to live in fear. He's not called us to retreat He's not called us to trade the beauty and purpose And a life of a godly woman For some counterfeit kind of safety that feels layers or buffers away from that edge edge It says in proverbs 31 25 Strength and honor are her clothing She shall rejoice in the time to come. The picture that we see in Proverbs 31 is not a woman in retreat. She is a woman on the offensive for the kingdom of God.

And those are the daughters that we wanna raise. Not daughters fearful of the thorns and the cliffs and the ledges, aware, aware, not fearful, and taking ground for the kingdom of God under their fathers, with their husbands, and in their homes, and that's a big, beautiful world. So anyway, that's a picture that I hope sticks with you and today I want to venture out a little bit we're gonna go through three points. I want to venture out and look at expanding the horizon or view of some of the things and like Jason said last night I'm not going to pretend to name or list all of the things but some of the categories that are large and big and beautiful important vistas in our daughter's world and how we can lead them to that and what what I want to say at the get out out of the gate is this within those within those large views that we'll go and explore with our daughters, it's on you dads to work out with them where those danger points are and exercise wisdom, as God said, to not just try to build the black and white box.

There are black and whites. We live in a world of objective truth. God's word is true, amen. But in applying these things to our life, it's gonna require work. The dads who are farther along in life know that and they could speak to us younger guys and say, yeah, buckle up.

It's going to require work to go rightly apply these ideas, but it's worth that effort. So I'm going to give you three areas of the scope of biblical womanhood and how it works out into this big, beautiful world and encourage you to think about how you can lean in with your daughters and help them to explore and grab hold of these things that God's designed for them. So first point is her work is fruitful. If you don't walk away from Proverbs 31 both inspired and a little exhausted, I'm not sure we're reading the same passage, right? The life The life it describes is anything but closed in and narrow or idle.

It says in Proverbs 31 27, she watches over the ways of her household, she does not eat the bread of idleness. Her home is the center of activity, but it's not the boundary of her activity. That's a really important point. What I'm trying to give is a biblical framework. We all know these things, but a biblical framework for how to think about some of these decisions we're making and guiding our daughters.

Her home is the center, but it's not the boundary. She reaches out her hand to the poor. She brings food from afar. She weaves garments and sells them. She works with skills.

She plants and trades and builds and provides for the needs of her house. Everything she touches and Jason brought this in last night is multiplying. It's expanding, it's growing. It doesn't sit still, it flourishes under her care. So this sounds pretty big and far reaching, right?

Why not be the breadwinner? Why not go be a career woman? This sounds pretty bold and she's doing all of these things. How is it any different from the empowered conquering woman that the world props up today and girls, the younger ones, they will say, what career are you pursuing? What's your big vision for life?

And it might feel like I want to be a mom. I want to build my own, well, that's it? How is this different? It's different in two ways that change really everything. One is, Jason mentioned this last night, the concentration of her time.

She's not she's not putting her time and effort and energy towards things outside that take away from the things inside and the direction of her fruitfulness. Overwhelmingly And this is where I want to build from Proverbs 31. We won't read the whole thing. The activities defined in Proverbs 31 have one common thread. It's the building and shaping and mission of her house.

It's her house. She's not building someone else's kingdom while her own household lives on the leftovers. She's not pouring herself into a vision detached from her husband, her children, her life. She and her husband are on mission together. Her work strengthens that vision.

Her skill expands it. Her diligence multiplies it. And her hands make it bear fruit. That's why her work is so big. Not because it copies the world's ambition, but because it takes what God's entrusted to her, including these living souls that have been placed in her home, gospel opportunities, real needs in the community, and makes them grow and flourish.

Now, I just want to pause here for a second. If you put that picture down on paper and compare it to what the world is offering you. Do they stack or measure up in any way? Go give your time 40, 50 hours a week to an employer. Go travel around the US, meeting and doing business and all these things, coming back and spending an hour in the evening with your children.

Sometimes we have to slap ourselves and say, what are we even pretending to defend? We have the high ground. Let's not surrender the high ground. We have the high ground. A closed-in vision of this says, like Jason said last night, I'm a housekeeper, I can only change diapers, I can only watch the kids, I'll never use my gifts for anything more.

Proverbs 31 and the testimony of the rest of scripture paints a much bigger picture. The home that God gives you one day, Lord willing, is the soil. It's the ground where your gifts and your faithfulness multiply into something so much bigger. And so Point number one, her work is fruitful. Is the career woman's work fruitful?

Maybe, but in a different direction. So fathers, ask this, and I'm gonna encourage this as we get to the end, as we think about big categories for our daughters, think less about, can I do this or can I not do that? And I'm not saying that in biblical black and white categories, but think more about orientation, direction, purpose. Those are a lot of the conversations we're gonna have to have with our daughters even around these very practical things Where is it pointed? Is it working from the core out or is it going out and working back in because we see the pattern and testimony of scripture?

Is that the home is the hub? But it's not the boundary Everything begins there and grows there, but it's not the boundary. The second, her relationships are rich. What I mean by rich is not financial, girl. It's not money, It's not money in the bank.

What I mean is deep. Have you ever had a piece of chocolate? They're like, whoa, that's that's really really good. That's really rich. You might hear someone say that That's what the godly woman's relationships are and we heard a taste of that last night with her own children Jason said hey As a wife or mom replaceable can you swap that out or hire that out with someone who can do that job?

Absolutely not. God has equipped women with a unique set of gifts, emotionally and otherwise to meet the needs of the people around them. We heard last night the definition of nurturer. Moms and wives are deeply connected in their relationships, personal, caring, and often in tune in ways that us guys are clueless. Something will be happening and my wife might say, did you know?

I didn't notice that at all and she's in tune. She's watching for the needs of her household and that's something that God hardwired into our wives. So what are a few ways that her relationships are rich? How does that build out? Well, one is in her husband's mission, he's resolved and steadied in what he's doing.

His reputation is firm because as Proverbs 31, 11 and 12 says, the heart of her husband safely trusts in her. She does him good and not evil all the days of his life so that he can go out and contend, so that he can go out and take ground, so that he can go out and work and provide and engage with the culture and the battles. A godly wife becomes a place of trust, steadiness and encouragement for her husband and he's strengthened because he knows her heart is for him. The second is her children are nurtured and loved. Isaiah 66, 13, in speaking about God, consoling his people says, "'As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.

God specifically picks the mother-child relationship to convey the closeness and intimacy and care and comfort that God would provide for his people. In Proverbs 31, again, it says she watches over the ways of her household, and her children rise up and call her blessed. If we think that that motherhood or womanhood is relegated to just feeding mouths and keeping people alive, how do you explain that verse? How do her children rise up and call her blessed? How are they seeing that she's watching over the needs of all of her household, physically, spiritually, all of the things that we covered last night.

It's a much bigger, bigger role. We see Paul in 2 Timothy 1, 5, speaking to Timothy saying, the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice. These were women who had a profound impact on Timothy in their faith and their love and their investment in his life. So within the family and within her other relationships, the richness of a woman's care, of her nurturing, of her connection is unique and it's a gift from God. Finally in this, her church and community are blessed.

In Acts nine, we see the example of Dorcas, who was full of good works and charitable deeds. When she died, the widows were around Peter and weeping, showing all the tunics and garments she'd made. She'd met a tangible need in the community and she'd nurtured and cared for the people around her. In Acts 18 26, Priscilla and Aquila are taking Apollos aside and helping him explain, he's a passionate man, he's explaining the gospel, and they're helping take him aside in love and explaining to him how he can more accurately convey the truth of the word of God. So we see all sorts of ways that these relationships, which are rich and real and deep and built from a place of nurturing and the gifts that God gives unique women are exercised in the home, in the church, in the community.

And the last thing I wanna say is her influence is consequential. This is a big one. This is a big one. Daughters, you will have in your life, significant influence. You might think that that influence looks like this.

I'm standing in front of you, I'm speaking, I'm engaging with you. And certainly, yes, you can call that influence. You might look at the politician on stage, wow, everybody listens to him. Wow, you read the Bible, and you see the stories of women involved in different key moments in history and you will realize it might not be as loud or public facing, but the words, the spirit, the resolve, The wisdom, the foolishness on the other side of women in these key moments shapes some of the events of history in significant ways. You will have significant influence.

Proverbs 1.20 says, wisdom calls aloud outside. She raises her voice in the open squares Proverbs 9 wisdom has built her house she has hewn out her seven pillars she slaughtered her meat it says later whoever is simple let him turn in here. So I'm not going to to make an attempt to explain why God assigned wisdom of feminine quality or set her or she people would go way far into that and have some pretty wacky ideas but I do know this I will say I don't think it's a stretch to say this. As men, we're not known for slow, careful, thoughtful processing of information. We're hard charging, ready to go, ready to solve, risk taking people.

And God gave us, as we talk about unique equipping, God gave us that for a reason. But it doesn't mean we're always on target. Esau, right, comes in hungry and he trades his birthright for a meal. Moses, a faithful man, strikes the rock in anger. And as a result of his anger and, and speaking against God, didn't get to enter the promised land, Saul forbids his army from eating, weakening his men and nearly costing Jonathan his life.

David seeks revenge against Nabal and nearly kills him in anger. So we see plenty of examples in Scripture of men leading in a great sense, right? Exercising their hard charging, quick acting gifts for the glory of God and his kingdom. But we know there can also be a tendency in that to be fast and rash and to not be measured. In this picture in Proverbs, I think we can see experientially in life that we tend to be wired a little bit differently.

God gives women an ability often to think, to counsel, to lean in, to suggest, honey, have you considered this and praise God for that, right. And there's a unique gifting of I think wisdom that we can apply there. And that you daughters, as you think about Jason said last night, know the categories and lean into them. Well, you need wisdom. You're gonna walk with Lord willing a husband one day, you're going to be a counselor to other women in the church, you're gonna be mentoring on all these things.

Have it be your goal that the words that leave your mouth, whether it's to your husband or whether it's the people in your world, are based on the word of God and filled with grace and filled with wisdom. You don't know what moment approaches you or that will be required. In this story and for the sake of time I'm not going to go into it I've got about five minutes but in first Samuel 25 when Abigail makes this appeal to David she's the wife of Nabal and he he does he's a he's a foolish man and he angers David and she comes and hears what David's going to do which is to take vengeance on her husband and she comes and bows down before the ground and she says, on me my Lord, on me let this iniquity be And please let your maidservant speak in your ears and hear the words of your maidservant. And it shall come to pass when the Lord has done for my Lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you and has appointed you ruler over Israel. This is, by the way, this is a very well constructed argument.

She's saying, listen, God has more promised for you than this. God is establishing you for this purpose. Don't mess it up. This isn't just right off the top of the tip. I'm assuming she built this argument, she exercised wisdom to influence the heart of David.

31, that this will be no grief to you nor offense of heart to my Lord, either that you have shed blood without cause or that my Lord has avenged himself. But when the Lord has dealt well with my Lord, then remember your maidservant." So she approaches him with grace, with deference, with meekness, with strength, and with wisdom. That is something that has to be developed. Go develop that in your life. Know the word of God and develop and exercise wisdom in your own life so that you can be ready in those moments to speak a fitting word.

Matthew Henry says she depends not upon her own reasonings, but on God's grace to soften David and expects that grace would work powerfully. So you have an enormous influence through the Word of God and through the wisdom of God to bring truth to bear and to bring grace to bear in people's lives. The last example I'll put there is Esther, who approaches the king and commits her life to God. Remember, she says, if I die, I die. And she approaches him with great humility and God uses her courage and her words to preserve the nation of Israel and protect them.

So take away on this, girls, God has given you enormous influence and that will grow in your life as God, in time, if you're married, then with your children, in your church, in your community, your words carry weight. You don't know the moments in front of you, but you do know that, but you do know from scripture that God can use your words and actions and disposition to bring someone back from the edge, to straighten the path in front of them, and to help them walk in truth. Have the law of kindness on your tongue, have God's wisdom fixed in your heart, and be adorned with grace. So let's wrap up. Where have we been?

The scope of her work is not small. God does not call a godly woman to be idle or to have a diminished or less than in comparison to the culture kind of life, but to fruitfully give herself to work that strengthens her house inside out and makes what he is entrusted to her flourish. The scope of her relationships, the reach of her relationships and the depth is not shallow. God gives her the ability to nurture, comfort, instruct and bless real people in real ways. And the scope of her influence is consequential.

Her words, her wisdom, her restraint, her godliness can redirect the course of a man, a family, a church, and as we see in Scripture, even sometimes a nation. So let's wrap up with this. Dads, what are we going to do with this information? What are we going to do? You're raising daughters that that really do have a big mission How are we equipping them today?

How are we helping them to explore the beauty of the world that God's given them to pursue? Are we taking up a defensive posture against the world's abuses of womanhood and acting reactively rather than guiding them toward the beauty, the valleys, the rivers, the vistas where they'll thrive. So let me be more practical in asking this question. You might run into questions like, well, why not a career? Can I work?

Other people are doing that. Why shouldn't I pursue higher education? Why shouldn't I do X, Y, Z, whatever it may be? And in learning to understand the wisdom of God and help them apply it, help redirect them towards better questions. What kind of woman am I becoming?

What kind of home am I preparing to build? What kind of people am I learning to love? What kind of influence am I cultivating? How do the steps I'm taking today fill in the blank map to that mission? This is what living the Christian life looks like.

It looks like us grappling with real decisions in our day to day and mapping it to the mission that God's put us on. And dads, you've got to work with your daughters to do that. This is not easy work. This is not easy work. Do the hard work with your daughters to actively apply not only the commands of God, but the patterns and examples and principles we see in his word to their lives.

A real cliffs and real ledges do exist, but we're not to live in fear we're to go take and pursue and take dominion of the world that God's given us. Daughters you have purpose gifts and skills that are unique to what God called you to do. That might be word for word what Jason said last night. Sorry, if I shamelessly stole that. The pressures of this world and culture around you will build and they'll call you to trade this in for something way shallower.

And here's what I want to say, a life given to this fruitful work, rich relationships, godly influence, is not a diminished life. It's beautiful, it's strong, it's useful, it's invested in things that are eternal, it's joyful. And it matters more than you can probably see or even appreciate right now, but praise God you have your mothers to look to, as we said last night. So here are our questions for discussion. Dads, what is one practical area of womanhood where I may need to help my daughter exercise wisdom, not just receive rules?

That might mean a question around work, education, friendship, beauty, money, independence. What are some ways that we can help our daughters not operate in a world of just thou shall nots and and listen The fence perimeters in some cases are necessary and helpful. Some of you might need to throw up some fences. That's appropriate. But how can we help our daughters in learning to exercise wisdom and to ask questions and see where their ideas lead?

Which of these areas feel like a cliff to you, dad? Which of these areas do you see? I'm concerned about that. And as a result, you can do one of two things. You can say, I'm not gonna touch it and I'm gonna hope through example and life and people around them that my daughters are just gonna love that.

Or you can take a hard line stance and say, this we will never do. And you might go further than scripture in that regard. Deal with the uncomfortable middle ground. Lean in. Let them ask questions.

Grapple with what that is. And help them develop a biblical view or framework for these things. So sorry, that was a long first question. But the first is, what is one practical area of womanhood where I may need to help my daughter exercise wisdom and not just process rules? Which of these areas feels like a cliff to me as a dad and how am I tempted to build layers of fence instead of walking with her, teaching her to see the danger clearly and love what is good?

And then daughters, I'm coming at you from the opposite angle ready what is one area where you need to stop asking how close can I get to the fence How close can I get to the ledge? Doesn't seem that bad, seems pretty. Maybe I should go check this out. What are those practical areas for you? What are the areas in your heart and mind where you might be approaching or tiptoeing toward that?

And instead of saying, how close can I get, start asking what would it look like to love what is good and walk wisely here? Wouldn't that be amazing? Men we need this too in any category of life. What would it look like if instead of saying where's that line I'm gonna creep up to that line. We say, what is excellent?

What would it look like to love what is good, which by the way, begins and ends in the word of God. That's our source for that objective truth and walk wisely here. Am I learning to ask, is this wise? Is this excellent? Not just, am I allowed?

So daughters, you might be thinking, hey, I see some of the fences and cliffs and Why am I not allowed? Don't ask Am I am I allowed ask is what I'm pursuing wise is it excellent? Is it in line with the vision the beautiful landscape of what God's laid before me and go pursue it with all of your heart. So I think that's 34 minutes, sorry, 34, 54. So thank you for your patience, but let's pray.

God, we are desperately in need of wisdom. And you say that those who ask you will receive it. God, I pray that as we look at big categories, but then drill down into specific things in our lives with our daughters, that we would help guide them in wisdom. That you would have them turn their hearts toward their fathers and walk with us in love and understanding, knowing that we won't get all of that perfect and right, knowing that it's our responsibility to lovingly protect and to God. But in that, God, help us to work to train our daughters to be future women, future wives, who are able to know and love and embrace your word and your vision for them deep within their heart, that you would send their roots down deep.

Help us to do the hard work and dealing in those areas that are tough and difficult to maybe apply in our culture today and help us to walk humbly with our daughters and help them to walk humbly with us. In Jesus name, amen.