In Peter Allison's sermon titled 'True Friends,' the speaker explores the biblical perspective on friendship, drawing primarily from Proverbs 17:16-20. He outlines six characteristics of true friendship: agreement, sharing thoughts and aspirations, doing only what is good for the friend, sticking by the friend's side, reciprocity, and showing physical affection. The sermon highlights the friendship between David and Jonathan as an exemplary model of these traits, emphasizing their mutual commitment and loyalty. Allison further elaborates on how Jesus Christ embodies the ultimate true friend, fulfilling all these characteristics and offering believers a relationship built on love, sacrifice, and eternal commitment. The sermon also warns against friendship killers such as deceit and selfishness, encouraging listeners to cultivate friendships grounded in biblical principles.

Please turn in your copy of God's Word this morning to Proverbs chapter 17. I'd like to read for our text this morning, verses 16 through 20. Proverbs 17, verses 16 through 20. So why is there in the hand of a fool the purchase price of wisdom since he has no heart for it. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge and becomes surety for his friend. He who loves transgression loves strife and he who exalts his gait seeks destruction. He who has a deceitful heart finds no good and he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil." Thus far the reading of God's Word. May He be praised at its reading and hearing. Almighty Heavenly Father, in the beginning you created the heavens and the earth, and all that is in them.

And In redemption you have displayed your wisdom to the hosts in heaven through your people. Father you have in you is all wisdom. And as we look to your Word this morning, we ask that you would instruct us. We ask that we may behold the wisdom, the truth that is there. We ask that you would give life to us through your Word.

May it penetrate deeply within us. I ask also that you would sanctify these unclean lips, that they might proclaim the wonders of your wisdom and of your riches to us in Jesus Christ. In His name we pray, Amen. The Bible has a lot to say about friends and friendships. It may be something that we don't think about when we think of friends.

It's something that the Bible would have a lot to say. We kind of think of friendship as that which is in our secular world. But I still remember very fondly when right after Alice and I were married, We came to Texas as fast as we could, as they say. This was true in that case. And the very first Sunday there, we found friends.

Friends that we became very close with, that we lived in close communion with in our time, in our whole time at that church. We would go to their house, they would come to our house, week after week, in the middle of the week, any time of the week. And we would think, let's see, we were at your place last week, so it's our turn this week. And then we would say, but friends aren't counting. And they don't.

But we did. Because friends do. And we're still friends to this very day. Dear friends, and when we had our 30th anniversary, one of the things that we put on that trip was to visit them and to spend a Sunday with them again. And it was a precious time, something we remember.

Friendships are very precious, and the Bible has much to say about friends. Our text says that a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity. But what makes a friend a true friend. What are those characteristics of a friend? If we were to be good friends, what are those attributes that we will exhibit that distinguish that true and abiding and deep friendship from a pseudo friendship.

Well I have six characteristics for us this morning, if you're keeping notes and numbering things. Six characteristics of what a friend is and most fundamentally, most foundationally, A friend is someone with whom you are in agreement. It's someone with whom you are like-minded. If you don't have that, you really don't have a friendship. You can love that person that you're not in agreement with.

But you can't have what the Bible speaks of in our text as a friendship, a deep friendship. Amos says, can two walk together unless they are agreed? Now it's a rhetorical question, but he was making a point in that in Amos 3.3. He's making a point about what God would do that if there's evil in a city isn't God that's done that. And, but he makes that point by asking a series of rhetorical questions that the answer is obvious.

It's assumed. And one of the first questions is can two walk together unless they are agreed? The obvious answer, the one we all know, is no, they can't. You can't walk together unless you are agreed. Those of you that have done marching, and that's one of the things my wife and I have in common, is that we both did marching.

I did it in the military, she did it in the marching band. But the skill is the same. The ability to walk in step with each other. You know as we walk around the block like we do sometimes, and we want to walk arm in arm, Did you ever try and do that when you're not walking in step? You really can't because you're just bouncing and you're jostling and doesn't work But if you're walking in step if you are in a sense doing what you do when you march and you have a cadence and you're both putting your foot down at the same time you both pick it up at the same time and The length of your stride is exactly the same you know what you can walk with your arms around each other, and it doesn't jar and that's a picture of Friends walking together You can't walk together unless you're in step with each other.

Unless you're in lockstep. You can't walk together. You can't have a deep and abiding friendship. This is the foundation of a friendship. You know, probably many of you, That where you are in close agreement with people you can have deeper friendships than you might have with your own family Because there is a an agreement There's an agreement And as Christians as brothers and sisters in the Lord, we have a fundamental agreement That enables us to be friends.

The second characteristic of friendship is that friends share their thoughts, their aspirations, their dreams. They share their heart and they improve each other. That's a characteristic, that's a vital characteristic of a friendship. If you don't have that aspect of sharing, then you don't have a real friendship. You have an acquaintance.

That takes time to develop and it's a two-way street. That sort of thing doesn't happen overnight. It has to be worked at. It has to be developed. But friends talk and they share on various matters.

Friends can let down their hair with each other without fear of being rejected. Proverbs 27.17 says, Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. There is that discussion, that talking back and forth, sharing of your thoughts and what you are thinking. Proverbs 27, 9, Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so does the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. Jesus talks about that as well.

He talks to his disciples, he talks to them as his friends. He says, you're my friends. I share my thoughts with you. Friends thirdly do only what is good for the other. In other words, they as the text says they love at all times.

They only do what is good. That's what love is to do what is good for the other person. That's why love is the fulfilling of the law. If we love somebody, then we respect their chastity, respect their property, we respect their life and so forth. We respect their name.

That's what it is to love someone. And a friend loves at all times. In other words, they do what is good for the friendship. What is good for their friend. And that means that they're willing to sacrifice.

They're willing to sacrifice for each other. It says a brother is born for adversity. See friends are not looking to benefit themselves in a relationship. They are not there, They are not in it for themselves. Friends are looking out for the interests of the person that is their friend.

That's what a friend is, someone who looks out for your interest. Many people can do that. We had a neighbor. They were a lesbian couple. And we were building our house.

And we had bought our lot from them. They had ten acres. They sold us five. And in the course of building their house, there came a rainstorm, and the windows, we weren't living there, the windows were open, and so one of them ran over and shut the windows for us that's that's the action of a friend taking care of our property but Paul told the Philippians that each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. In other words, be friends.

Look out for each other. Friends are willing to risk the friendship for the sake of truth. They're willing to speak the truth even when it's hard, even when they risk alienating their friend. Proverbs 27.6 says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

In other words, those were things that were inflicted because they were true, and they're for the good of the friend. Friends are willing to seek to restore when someone has gone astray. They see their friend walking into the path of danger, falling into habits that are not good, beginning to believe doctrines that are not right and will lead away from the truth. Or engaging in conduct and actions that are hurtful to themselves or others. Friends are those who in the spirit of Galatians 6.1 seek to come alongside and in a spirit of gentleness with humility seek to restore, seek to preserve.

It's especially true when somebody is in a position of weakness, somebody is in a position of inability. You probably all heard the stories of when people are drunk, you know Some people want to take their so-called friend that's drunk and set them out walking down the train tracks stumbling down the tracks because it's funny and they can get a laugh out of it, but that's not seeking Those aren't real friends. Those might be drinking buddies, but those aren't friends. Friends cover a multitude of sins. Friends that love at all times cover a multitude of sins.

We just had that a little earlier in Proverbs 12, that love covers a multitude of sins. And so friends who love at all times are going to cover a multitude of sins. Because They look past them, they look through them, they look around them. It doesn't affect their relationship. Peter said, 1 Peter 4, 8, and above all things, Remember to the saints who are scattered abroad in all of the dispersed area, Peter is writing above all things, have fervent charity, fervent love among yourselves for love, for charity, covers a multitude of sins.

Part of friendship is that you can overlook transgressions. That you are not offended at everything that happens between that friendship. You see both are present there. Friends do what only is good for their brother. Friend would never ask you to do something that is wrong for them.

They will never ask you to lie for them, because lying is always wrong. God cannot lie. So a friend is never going to ask you to lie for them. If somebody asks you to lie for them, They're not your friend and you're not being their friend if you do it for them. Friends only do what is good.

Friends have a respect for the chastity, the property, the health, and the name of those with whom they are friends. Fourthly, friends are sticky. Friends are sticky. True friends. Friends are those who stick by your side in triumph and defeat, in sickness and in health, in life and in death, in poverty and in riches or in riches and in poverty because you'll know who your real friends are if you go from riches to poverty.

The Bible says the rich have a lot of friends, the poor don't. Well those aren't true friends. They're there for what's in it for themselves, for the wealth that may fall off the table to those who are gathered around that that's not a friend That's somebody who's in it for themselves in it for what they can get out of it a Friend sticks by your side They are born for adversity One of the things that surprised me actually when we had a good friend of ours about our age and the husband died suddenly. One of the things that the wife was told in going through her grief was that well There are a lot of people that won't be your friends anymore I was surprised to to hear that but that's you know in her grief and counseling classes That was one of the things that they warned her about That there is that your friendships are going to change. You're going to be people that draw back from you as a result of this.

Well, true friends are sticky. They stick by in life and in death. Paul commends Inesiphorus, who is a true friend because he's stuck by his side. He often, Paul said to Timothy, refreshed me. He wasn't ashamed of my chains even when I was in prison but when he was in Rome he sought me out very diligently and he found me.

His name is forever recorded in the pages of scripture because he was a sticky friend. And when Paul went into jail and was under the disfavor of the Roman government. And Ness of Forrest didn't say, well, if I go and visit him in jail, then they're going to think I'm one of him, I'm one of them, I'm one of his friends, and they might be displeased with me as well. That happens. That's a real fear.

There's a man by the name of Eustace Mullins, he used to work in the Library of Congress and he visited a poet by the name of Ezra Pound in the psychiatric ward and because of that visit he was put on the FBI's list to track to his great detriment actually Because he was willing to visit somebody in a psychiatric ward, somebody that the FBI deemed undesirable. And maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. The point is, because he was willing to visit him, he himself came under the displeasure of our government. And that was a very real thing for Inesophorus, to go visit Paul in his chains, to be willing to be seen with him in jail. He's identifying that this is my friend.

This is somebody with whom I am in agreement. This is somebody who I love and who I'm cherishing and who I care for and in doing that he risked his own well-being. Wealth and power can attract a lot of people. If you have a lot of wealth or you have power, it's hard to know who your friends are. That's a real problem.

It's a problem for those that have wealth and power. They don't know really who their friends are. I remember I was in a position of authority in a certain job and I gave a talk a conference one day and this other person who really who wasn't going to who wasn't in my organization But he expected that he might be one day. He came to me afterwards and said, you know, I don't know anything about this. You know, I really need to read a lot on this.

And what do you think I should read and so forth. And I thought, wow, he was really moved by all this material today. But it turns out, no, he just thought I would be his boss one day. And so he was being friendly. I found that out later.

See, wealth and power attract people. And they attract people who say nice things and do nice things and who pretend. But you find out who's really your friend when the power and the wealth is gone, when you're not in that office anymore, when you don't have that lavish wealth to spread around. True friends are sticky. Proverbs 14 is 14.20, the poor is hated even of his own neighbor, but the rich has many friends.

Proverbs 19, wealth makes many friends, but the poor is separated from his neighbor. Proverbs 19, 6, many will entreat the favor of a prince because he has power. And every man is a friend to him that gives gifts all the bread all the brethren of the poor hate him how much more do his friends go far from him and Paul also had friends like that too he had his onessa for us is but he also had the friends that deserted him when the going got tough. He says, you know all they which are in Asia be turned away from me of whom are Phygellus and Hermogenes. Named forever because they weren't sticky.

They didn't stay by Paul when he was in difficult straits. True friends are sticky. They're not in it for themselves. They're in it to bless and to encourage and to give. But also fifthly true friends reciprocate.

True friends reciprocate. Friends are not sponges. Friends true friends return the friendship. Proverbs 18, 24 says, A man that has friends must show himself friendly. And there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

A man that has friends has to show himself friendly, must show himself friendly. That means there must be reciprocity. Now reciprocity is not always like for like. It doesn't mean that while they had us over, so now we have to have them over. In fact Jesus says that's really not hospitality.

Showing hospitality is to show it to people that can't have you back in return. So many times this currency of exchange, the reciprocity of friendship is indifferent. It's different currency. You might have a teacher who knows many things, who has learned or who has studied or who is gifted musician, and they are willing to impart to you that knowledge. And they're willing to stand with you and train you or maybe it's some other field the reciprocity there is in respect it's in honor it's in thanks that you can give to such a person the gratitude the thanks of a grateful heart is a very big return that you can give to people.

And reciprocity is not only in the moment. It might be a time when you are in great need. The very friends that I spoke about in the beginning of the message, when it came time for us to leave that city and move away, we had some dead time. We needed to get all our things out of our house and we needed to have a place to put them and they graciously volunteered their garage for us to store all of our stuff. Now that was a big sacrifice because their cars would ordinarily go in the garage.

But for a month or two, I think it was a month, for a month, they were willing to let us use their garage. Now we had just bought a side of beef in the freezer, so we said, well, you can have the steaks out of the freezer in that month. But there was no way we could return that favor, but we didn't feel at that point, we were under no obligation, because they were our friends, and we had gratitude for that sacrifice. Knowing that sometime later down the road we might have an opportunity to return that favor in a different way. In a different way.

And So reciprocity isn't always in the moment. When a friend helps you, you don't feel an undue burden of debt. Yes, you are grateful, you want to return thanks, and you want to bless them, but sometimes friends can help you in ways that you can't return the favor like for like. Remember once we, when I was sick about 20 years ago, another family gave us a large financial gift to help with the treatment which I sought in out of country internationally. Well that was a gift because just because they were friends And there wasn't any way we were going to be able to give that gift back to them in kind.

But we could find other currency to return that, to show our gratitude. And that occasion actually marked the start of our family getting family pictures. And we gave them one of the very first family portraits that we had taken in a studio and you know and his comment was you know that's a very nice way to show thanks the very nice way he thought friends reciprocate but it's not always in the same currency but lastly friends show physical affection for each other. Touch is important. Touch is important among Christians, among brothers and sisters in the Lord.

We talk about laying hands on when we ordain, lay hands on when we're healing. But you know what's commanded five times in the New Testament? Five times? Is that we kiss each other. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

It's not a sensual kiss, it's not a sexual kiss, it's a holy kiss. Greet one another with a holy kiss. It's not a sensual kiss, it's not a sexual kiss, it's a holy kiss. Greet one another with a holy kiss. Because physical Affection is an important part of friendship those people who are friends just watch two friends when they meet what do they do?

They just naturally embrace each other they naturally hug and we can see throughout the Bible when Barzilai is helping David to flee David kissed him it says When Jacob is blessing his grandchildren, he kisses them. Physical affection. Jesus was often laying his hands on people and touching people and giving them hugs. This has been the practice of the church throughout the New Testament and even the Old Testament. Justin Martyr writes about it and he lived in the second century, very shortly, born about 100 AD.

In his discussion of the administration of the sacraments, he says, having ended the prayers, we salute one another with a kiss. And then there is brought to the president of the brethren bread and a cup of wine mixed with water and so on. It was a part of their fellowship meal, this physical expression of their affection for each other. One of the most beautiful examples of friendship in the scriptures is that of David and Jonathan. I would like to look at a few examples in their life because they embodied all six of these characteristics and exemplified them in their friendship with each other.

In 1 Samuel 18, We read that verse 1 that when he had finished speaking to Saul, that's David. This is after the Goliath incident. David has killed Goliath. He's finished speaking to him and it says that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him go home to his father's house anymore.

And Jonathan and David made a covenant back then because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David with his armor even his sword and his bow and his belt. Jonathan took off the robe that was on him. Jonathan recognized that David would be the next king. That God had anointed him to be the king.

And yet Jonathan's soul is knit to David as a brother to brother in a deep friendship that lasted the rest of their life. And so at this point he's taking off his own robe and giving it to David signifying his friendship, his affection for David, his recognition that David would one day be the king. Be the King. We find in the next chapter then, Jonathan is sticking by the side of David when his father, who in the last chapter loved him and wouldn't let him go now is seeking to kill him. Now David has fell into disfavor with the king.

Now what is Jonathan going to do? Before you could say well he loved David because Saul loved him and it would be the end thing to do. But now Saul is seeking to kill David. What does Jonathan do? Saul spoke to Jonathan and his son and to all the servants that they should kill David.

But Jonathan, Saul's son, delighted greatly in David. So Jonathan told David, saying, My father seeks to kill you, therefore please be on your guard till morning, and stay in a secret place and hide. He's warning David. His loyalty is to David and not to his father because his father is seeking to murder somebody, to do harm. So he does what is good.

He does what is good. He shows love. He protects the life of his friend. He says, and I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are and I will speak to my father about you. Then what I observe I will tell you.

And then Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, David, Jonathan spoke well of David to his father when his father said I'm going to kill him. That's sticking by your friend. That is loving at all times and that is loving in adversity in a moment of need. Jonathan was there. In fact, he puts his true friendship with David above his loyalty to his father.

Jonathan said to his father, Let not the king sin against his servant, against David, because he has not sinned against you, because his works have been very good towards you. For he took his life in his hands, and he killed the Philistine. That's Goliath. David did. When everybody else was afraid, David risked his life and killed him.

The Lord brought about a great deliverance for all Israel. You saw it and you rejoiced. Why then will you sin against innocent blood to kill David without a cause. And so Jonathan was instrumental in turning Saul's heart back to David. Saul heeded the voice of Jonathan.

And Saul swore, as the Lord lives, he shall not be killed. And So Jonathan called David and Jonathan told him all these things. And so Jonathan brought David to Saul. Jonathan broke a reconciliation between Saul and David. And he was in his presence again as in time passed.

The next chapter, Saul is fickle. Now he's going to kill David again. He's changed. And so David fled from Nyoth and Rama and went and said to Jonathan, what have I done? What is my iniquity and what is my sin before your father that he seeks my life?î And Jonathan says, ìBy no means, you shall not die.

Indeed, my father will do nothing, either great or small, without first telling me. And why should my father hide this thing from me? Is it not so? And so David took an oath again and said, Your father certainly knows I have found favor in his eyes. And he has said, Do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved.

But truly as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death. And Jonathan said to David, Whatever you yourself desire, I will do it for you. And David said to Jonathan, Indeed, tomorrow is the new moon, and I should not fail to sit with the king to eat. But let me go, that I may hide in the field until the third day at evening." This is what David is asking Jonathan now, his friend, his true friend in his time of need. And he says, If your father misses me at all, then say, David earnestly asked permission of me that he might run over to Bethlehem, his city, for there is a yearly sacrifice there for all the family.

And if he says it is well, your servant will be safe. But if he is angry, be sure that evil is determined by him therefore you shall deal kindly with your servant For you have brought your servant into a covenant of the Lord with you Then nevertheless if there is iniquity in me kill me yourself For why should I bring you to my father for why should you bring me to your father? This is David is sworn an oath there this is the oath that is associated with the covenant that they took earlier and Jonathan said far be it from you For if I knew certainly that evil was determined by my Father to come upon you, then would I not tell you?" And they set up, I'm not going to read the rest, but they set up a plan whereby they can have a communication, a secret communication, a covert communication where Jonathan can communicate to David what his father is doing and how his father is going to respond. And so things play out just as David had anticipated. Jonathan said, yes, I will let you know what happens and if it is evil I can send you away.

But he also said, the Lord be with you as he has been with my father, and you shall not only show me kindness of the Lord while I still live, that I may not die, but you shall not cut off your kindness from my house forever. No, not when the Lord has caught off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth." Do you realize what Jonathan is saying there? Jonathan knew that he was going to die, that God had anointed David to be king, that Saul was his enemy, and he's saying when The Lord has cut off every one of the enemies of David. Saul was the enemy of David and his sons. And Jonathan knew that they would likely die.

That God was going to certainly take Saul. And he asked David, will you show kindness to my family? Will you show kindness to my children that are left?" So, Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David saying, let the Lord require it at the hands of David's enemies. Then, Jonathan again called David to vow because he loved him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul. And Jonathan said to David, Tomorrow is the new moon, and you will be missed, because your seat is empty.

And when you have stayed three days, go down quickly, and come to the place where you hid on the day of the deed, and remain by the stone. And I will shoot three arrows." and then he talks about how he's gonna give him the signal and So it happens David is absent It says Jonathan the king sat at his house Jonathan Abner sat by Saul side, but David's place was empty, but Saul didn't say anything He thought well, maybe David's unclean. If you're unclean, you couldn't eat a ceremonial meal. But the next day, the seat is also empty. And Saul says, why to his son, Jonathan, Why has the son of Jesse not come to eat either yesterday or today?

That's kind of the son of Jesse not David, but this unnamed person and Jonathan answered Saul David earnestly asked permission of me to go to Bethlehem And he said please let me go and he gave him the answer that David had said to him. And Saul's anger was aroused against Jonathan and he said to him, you son of a perverse, rebellious woman, do you not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and the shame of your mother's nakedness? For as long as the Son of Jesse lives on the earth, you will not be established nor your kingdom. Now therefore send and bring him to me for he shall surely die." There is his own father. It's calling for him to give up his best friend to be killed.

And then we have there at the end of the chapter, As soon as they gave the signal, and as soon as they sent the lad away, David arose from the place and he fell on his face and he bowed down three times and they kissed one another and they wept together. But David more so. Then Jonathan said to his friend David, Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, May the Lord be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever. So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city." And that was their parting. The end after the great battle in which Saul and his sons were killed, they brought word to David that Saul had died and his sons.

That meant that this very dear friend, Jonathan, had died. And in 2 Samuel, David composes a song, a lament, for Saul and Jonathan. But this is what he had said about Jonathan. How the mighty have fallen in the midst of battle. Jonathan was slain in your high places.

I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan. You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women. How the mighty have fallen and the weapons of war perished that was the depth of Saul's love for Jonathan now many people today many perverted people have tried to make that into a perverted relationship, but this is an example of pure friendship. Deep abiding friendship.

Two friends who loved each other, whose souls were knit together, who pledged each other's lives and their fortunes for each other. Those were friends. And David did reciprocate later on. He did Find the children of Jonathan and take care of them in his own house for the rest of their life Now our text also talks about some other kinds of friends who aren't really friends. Friendship is wasted on fools.

Verse 16, Why is there in the hand of a fool the purchase price of wisdom since he has no heart or no understanding, no sense for it? Opportunities in the hands of fools are wasted. It's like the town where Jesus grew up. The place where he should have had many friends. They despised Christ's gift, Christ and his gifts.

They had the opportunity to get wisdom but they sent him away. Jesus said in Luke that there were many widows in Israel on Elijah's day but only the widow in Zarephath was supernaturally provided for. There were many lepers in Elisha's day in Israel but only Naaman, Syrian was healed. Proverbs 22, 24, make no friendship with an angry man and with a furious man you shall not go. Friendship is wasted on fools.

And those, to be wise as friends, we shouldn't waste our time trying to make friends with fools. But also in verse 18, friends are not enablers. A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge and becomes surety for his friend. A man devoid of understanding is an enabler for a friend. Now how is this an enabler?

Well it's saying here This is somebody who cosigns alone for his friend You have to ask Two things well if this isn't if this is an honorable person and His word is good. Then why do you need why does he need surety? Why does he need your word? Why isn't his word good enough? And if this is an honorable friend, if it's a dishonorable friend, and his word isn't any good, then you're a fool for taking his word and being a surety for somebody whose word is not good.

So either way, but what if this is a worthy friend, his word is good and he has a great need. Shouldn't you co-sign a loan then? Wouldn't that be okay? Well, not according to the Bible. If you want to look at more on this, you can go back to the sermon in Proverbs 6 where we talked about this in a lot more detail but I would just say this today if you if this is a friend in need then loan them the money yourself And if you can't loan them the money, then you're not in a position to co-sign the loan.

Because when you co-sign the loan, you assume obligation for that money. And if you don't have that money to give them, then you shouldn't be signing a loan for that money. See, this is very foreign to our understanding today, and I think you can't make sense out of the Old Testament's teaching on usury and Loaning money unless you understand this one simple principle when when I realized this then it all made sense but it's otherwise we don't get it and that is this that borrowing is a tragedy that in when you that the in the Old Testament the need to borrow money means you there is a tragedy there is something a calamity that has happened and you need to borrow money. If you are going into business that's a different matter. That's where you become a business owner and you assume the risk you're investing in a business.

But just loaning money. We're not to charge interest on loans because a loan presumes that there is a need. And we are to simply meet those needs without charging interest. And so if you can make the loan, you make the loan yourself. You don't need somebody else to do it.

But friends are not enablers and there are many ways that we might enable friends, enable poor choices and conduct in friends. And good friends don't do that. There's a couple friendship killers here as well in verses 19 and 20. First are lovers of strife. The people that love to quarrel are really those who love transgression.

They're people that aren't happy with anything. People that are always finding fault and nitpicking and pointing out all the little warts and moles on everybody those that kills friendships it also talks about and verse 19 he who exalts his gate seeks destruction. That's just talking about exalting a door and probably is a metaphor for somebody who's building his house up. Not as much in a figurative sense, in a literal sense as in a figurative sense. Somebody who is trying to keep up with the Joneses who's trying to climb the social ladder He's building his house up Building his door high he's exalting it above his neighbors That's the kind of person who's willing to step over people who's climbing up that ladder on the backs of their friends that that's a friendship killer.

It's not the way friends are. They don't they don't gain their success on the backs of other people. They don't elevate their house by pushing other people down. And a deceitful tongue, a manipulative tongue. Sometimes deceit can be exposed, but sometimes it's so pervasive that it can't.

In that case, we have to leave it in the Lord's hands. But that can kill a friendship. Now, who's your best friend? Who's your best friend? Well if you are in Jesus Christ, then He is your best friend.

He is. In fact, all the characteristics that we have looked at of true friendship we find in Jesus Christ. There is agreement. Right? He sends His Spirit who testifies to us of the truth, who convinces us of the truth so that we can profess our faith and confess faith in Christ which is to agree with When we confess you are saying with somebody you are agreeing and the Holy Spirit Testifies to us so that we confess Jesus Christ that we agree with his word that's really what sin is the Holy Spirit comes and convicts us of sin so that we confess our sin What are we doing there?

We are agreeing with God that we are sinners that we've done wrong As God transforms our will and he renews our mind to bring it into conformity with him. He changes us so that we are in agreement with him and that we can then walk with him. We can't walk with the Lord if we don't confess him and confess our sin. Jesus speaks to us, shares his thoughts with us. He told his disciples in John 15, You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.

Henceforth I call you not servants, for the servant knows not what his Lord does, but I have called you friends. For all things that I heard of my Father, I have made known unto you." Our soul is knit to God, And through the Holy Spirit we have fellowship, we have communion with the Lord in prayer. That's how we can commune with the Lord. And the Lord speaks to us through His Word. He tells us His plans, He tells us what He is doing.

The scripture was fulfilled, James says, which said Abraham believed God and it was imputed to him for righteousness and he was called the friend of God. Brothers and sisters, as those who are in Christ, You are heirs of the promises that were made to Abraham. As Abraham was a friend of God, you are also a friend of God. Thirdly, we said a friend loves at all times. Jesus has loved us from before the foundation of the world.

There was never a moment in time when God has not loved his people at all times. Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends, Jesus said. And that's what Jesus has done for us. Friends give of themselves. They sacrifice for their friends.

And God, Jesus Christ has laid down His life for you, because you are His friend. He chastens us because He loves us. He wants us to grow. He wants us to be more conformed to His image. He sends trials to strengthen us, to confirm our faith.

He sends these things for our own good because He is our friend. He convicts us of sin so that we are restored to Him. He is sticky. He stays with us. Jesus said that all authority is given to me in heaven and earth.

Go you therefore and I will never leave you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. He is with us to the end of the age because He is our friend. Paul could write, What shall separate us from the love of God? Nothing.

Nothing. Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or pearl or sword? For your sake we are killed all day long, we are counted as sheep for the slaughter. Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life nor angels nor Principalities nor powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other created thing Shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord Christ sticks with us And as Friends we reciprocate Jesus said you are my friends if you do what I command you.

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And so we must obey his commandments. Jesus says that we are not his friends if we don't keep his commandments. And we are not his friends if we are friends with his enemies. James says, you adulterers and adulteresses know you not that friendship with the world is enmity with God?

Whoever therefore will be a friend of the world is an enemy of God. So Christ calls us to lay down our life for him. I Beceit you therefore brethren by the mercies of God that you present your bodies a living sacrifice We are to lay down our life for him as he has done for us because he is our friend What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

Oh what peace we often forfeit. Oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged.

Take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Are we weak and heavy laden?

Cumbered with a load of care, precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer. Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer. In His arms He'll take and shield you. You will find a solace there.

Almighty Father in heaven, oh how our hearts are lifted up to you in gratitude for your love to us. A love that you have said was from before the foundation of the world, from all eternity. You have elected your sheep through everlasting life and you have loved us. You have given yourself for us and even now you are preparing a house for us and you will come again to receive us into it, to receive us into glory as those whose bodies have been raised incorruptible, who have been clothed in the white robes of your righteousness and those who have been made perfectly blessed to fully enjoy you for all eternity. Oh indeed what a friend we have in you our Savior.

We ask Lord that you would renew our zeal for you. May we be those who chase after you. May you give us hearts that yearn to worship you. Hearts that long for your fellowship. Hearts that delight in prayer and in communion with you and in listening to your voice.

Who know your friendship and who have forsaken this world. Father, we ask that these might be ever more true in our life. In Jesus' name, Amen.