In the sermon 'Family Discipleship,' Jason Dohm emphasizes the primary role of parents in evangelizing and discipling their children, as clearly stated in scripture from Genesis to Revelation, without deviation between the Old and New Covenants. While extended family, the local church, and Christian friends also play significant roles, the primary responsibility rests with parents to teach their children about Jesus Christ and guide them in walking with the Lord. Dohm highlights the importance of a multi-generational approach to discipleship, as laid out in various biblical passages such as Deuteronomy 6, Psalm 78, Malachi 2, and Ephesians 6, stressing that the responsibility firmly rests on the head of the household. He discusses the regulative principle of worship, which guides his church, Sovereign Redeemer Community Church, to adhere strictly to New Testament practices and avoid inventions of man in worship, as illustrated by the story of Nadab and Abihu. The sermon also examines the implications of a church structure that does not follow the norm, placing substantial emphasis on family discipleship and organic connection within the church community. Dohm concludes with practical advice on how family discipleship should be a priority within the home, emphasizing that the responsibility lies with fathers, and suggesting that it should be a consistent, daily practice tied to regular family activities like dinner time. He warns against giving family discipleship the leftovers of the day and encourages a commitment to this practice for the spiritual prosperity of the family and the church community.

God, thank you for creating the order that you have in homes and in local churches and in societies. You've given us these spheres for our good and how we need them. And we want to function according to scripture in each of these. Thank you for a week to consider how we might worship you in our homes and be faithful to you as parents and as children to parents. Pray that you would use this for our prophet today in Jesus name.

Amen. Okay, I have four points on family discipleship. Point number one, by the way, I didn't put any blanks, I just put them right there in the handout, so it'll be easy for note-taking. Point number one, we believe that scripture clearly gives the primary role of evangelizing and then discipling children to parents. I don't think I've said anything controversial here.

Some crowds that might be controversial here never. So I said three things there. I said that Scripture is clear, meaning I don't think we're in murky waters at all. I think we have a consistent testimony of what the Bible is teaching from Genesis to Revelation. You really don't see any deviation from that.

You have something very clear throughout all of scripture. You see no shift between the Old Covenant and the New Covenant, it really just is the testimony of scripture. That testimony is that it's the primary role of parents, not the exclusive role. I'm gonna talk more about that. We do think other entities like extended family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, Christian neighbors, other Christian friends, certainly the local church have a role to play, of course, in giving the gospel to children and in helping them grow in the faith once they're in the faith.

Of course, other entities have a role to play, but that the primary role is unequivocally, uncontroversially in scripture given to parents. And then what is that role? Well, to evangelize, to bring them to the core and the center of Scripture, which is that Jesus Christ came to save sinners. So parents' first job is to give that message to their children, and then as their children would be given eyes to see and ears to hear and be born again, then to teach them how to walk with the Lord. What a blessing it is when a child comes into a home that when they encounter Jesus and are transformed by the gospel and start this walk that they're given parents.

Of course, not everybody fits this description, but what a blessing it is when you do fit this description when your parents can actually teach you what it means to walk with the Lord and how to walk with the Lord regardless of whether they have been born again or not. We're all along teaching them the ways of God and sometimes They learn a lot about the ways of God and that catches up with them once they've been born again. Whoever knows how much later in life. So I think those three things are captured there. Scripture is clear and it's the primary role goes to parents for this and that the job is evangelizing children, giving them Jesus as Savior, and then discipling them, teaching them the ways of God.

I'm just going to run you through some of the testimony of scripture. I won't do any of these passages justice because we could spend a Sunday on every one of them. And we're not doing that today. Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 7. Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 7.

Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. There's one God. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." So this is addressed to the people who will hear this and read this and it starts with you love God.

God is worthy of all your love. The love of your whole being heart, mind, strength, soul. I knew I was missing one, heart, soul, mind and strength. Worthy of the whole person being pointed towards the love of God, this all-consuming love of God. And then these words of God that he's given us, we put them into our hearts.

So this isn't just a lecture to be intellectually acquired. It is that, but God's intent is that it transcends that and it actually enters the heart. These become, the ways of God become the object of our affection like God is our affection. When God is your affection, His ways become the object of your affection too, so you should put these words of His in your heart. Then you are charged, parents are charged, to teach diligently your children.

So not adults in general teach children in general, you teach your children. That's what the text says. You teach your children when you sit in the house, when you walk by the way, When you lie down, when you rise up, meaning across the times and places of the day. The day has a variety of times. This includes all of them.

The day includes a variety of places. This includes all of them. You've heard us say many times and call it, walk along, talk along, discipleship. We don't just pigeonhole this and narrow it down to a classroom time where we have our half hour or hour religious time. No, God intends it to be walk along, talk along, discipleship, where it is interwoven with everything in life across the times and places of the day.

And verse two made it so clear, you, your son, and your grandson, meaning the intent is that this is a multi-generational endeavor where parents who teach children to teach children and grandparents are engaged in this, and it's a wonderful interwoven, intergenerational life. By the way, you might say, what about moms and daughters? The intent isn't to exclude moms and daughters at all. The intention is to hang the responsibility firmly around the neck of a head of household. So women aren't excluded from this at all.

But the responsibility, where does the buck stop is the intent of saying, you, your son and your grandson. Heads of households bear the responsibility to do this. Of course, they're joined to a wife. They become one, and the wife is the helper, and especially in the most key areas of life, and the scriptures say this is one of the most key areas of life. So not excluding women, but putting the responsibility solidly around the neck of the head of a household.

Listen to Psalm 78 verses 5 through 7. Psalm 78 verses 5 through 7. For he, God, established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers that they should make them known to their children, that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children, That they may set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments." It's just like Deuteronomy 6. It's this multi-generational intention of God, commandment of God, that the fathers would teach the generation to come, that they would arise and teach the generation to come, that they would arise and teach the generation to come until Jesus comes back. I'm adding in the New Testament now.

Psalm 78 doesn't say that, but it might as well, until when Jesus comes back, that He'll find families who have passed down the truth of Scripture and the knowledge of God to their children and grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren. And what's the great purpose? Verse 7, that they may set their hope in God. Faith in God is the great intention, the great design of all these things, that they may set their hope in God. Listen to Malachi chapter 2.

Malachi chapter 2, I'll just isolate on verse 15. Malachi 2.15. But did he not make them one? Who is he? God.

Did God not make them one? Who's them? One man and one woman for life. So didn't God intend marriage, bring together a man and a woman and and make them one in marriage? But did he not make them one having a remnant of the spirit?

And why one? Here we go, why marriage? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth." So why marriage? Godly offspring.

You could have inferred that from Genesis 1 and 2. Be fruitful and multiply. And of course, it's implied there that the people who are the fruit of these marriages would then know God and walk with God. That was always God's design, but it's not left to be implied in Malachi 2. He just says it out and out.

Why make two into one? Why has God done this? Godly offspring. He wants an increase of people and He wants them to know Him and to walk with Him. So the second half of that verse, so don't deal treacherously with the wife of your youth because if you have a bad marriage, You can't do that.

It harms the grand objective of marriage. When you deal treacherously in your marriage, it harms the grand objective to marriage, which is teaching children to know God. How are you going to teach your children to know God if you won't even deal rightly with your wife in marriage. That's the argument of this verse. Listen to Ephesians chapter six, verse four.

Ephesians chapter six, verse four. And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Again, it's not excluding women, It's hanging the responsibility around the head of household. The buck stops with you, pal. You fathers, bring up your children in the training and admonition of the Lord.

So to me, this is just simply a summary statement and a repetition of Old Testament teaching on the topic. It's a perfect summary statement and repetition of the things that we just read in Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78 and Malachi chapter 2, it's saying the same thing in a condensed form. So if you're wondering if there was a change in these things between the Old Covenant and the New Covenant, the answer is a resounding no. What was true of parents and their obligations towards their children in the Old Testament is true of parents and their obligation towards their children in the New Testament. The change of covenant hasn't changed that at all.

So scripture is clear responsibility for bringing up children in the training and the admission of the Lord is given to parents, to the head of the household and the one who helps him and all the most important things in life. Are there other pieces to that puzzle like the local church? Of course there are. Are there other pieces to that puzzle like extended family? It's a blessing when grandparents can then pour into grandchildren and aunts and uncles.

Amen to all that. Hooray for all that. Like other Christian adults, that has definitely been true of our children. There have been Christian neighbors, Christian friends who have poured into the life of our children were eternally grateful for that. It was important.

It was intended by God. It was used by God. They were never the primary means. Never. So I give thanks for it, but it never displaced me as being responsible as the head of a household for bringing up our children in the training and admonition of the Lord.

So for the other pieces of the puzzle, we say, hooray! But that doesn't make any of them a primary. That has been given by God to us. Point number two, our church practices are informed by the regulative principle of worship. Wow, that's a weird one in a sermon on family discipleship.

How do we get from family discipleship to the regulative principle of worship? Give me a second. Our church practices, meaning specific to our church, Sovereign Redeemer Community Church, our practices here are informed by the regulative principle of worship. What is the regulative principle of worship? It is the principle that whatever we do in local church life, when we define our life together in this local church, new covenant life together, corporate life as a body in the new covenant, we believe that it must be clearly and solidly grounded in the New Testament or we're not at liberty to do it.

We are regulated. If it's clearly and solidly grounded in the New Testament then we're at liberty to do it. In fact, we must do it. And if it's not clearly and solidly grounded in the New Testament, we are not at liberty to do it. In fact, we must not do it.

This clear and solid grounding in the New Testament can be by command, appoint elders in every church, and all the elders have to meet these qualifications. That's a command. Or by patterns established by Jesus and his apostles, we meet on the first day of the week because in the New Testament you see the New Testament Church meeting on the first day of the week. There's not a command to do it but that's the apostolic pattern that actually is pretty clear in the New Testament. At least I'm satisfied that it's a clear and solid grounding in the New Testament.

Or by necessary implications of what we see. That gets trickier. I agree with that. There are some arguments about what is a necessary implication, but for instance, church membership. Can I give you a chapter and verse that says you have to be a church member?

No, but I believe that you can actually argue strongly well that it actually is biblical because things that are required of the church require some kind of official ordering. In other words, how do you have official church leaders if you haven't defined who's in the church. We have official leaders, but everybody else is unofficial. That makes no sense. So I'm arguing that it is a necessary implications of commands that are given to the New Testament church.

To obey those commands you're gonna have to have some kind of official ordering and I don't care what you call it and I think there's latitude in how you go about it but you're going to have to find some level of official ordering. John Knox, the Scottish reformer, said that anything that doesn't fit that description, anything that's not clearly solidly grounded in the New Testament, Anything simply invented in the brain of man is idolatry. So he said, John Knox says, I don't know what God you're worshipping by these things that you can't ground in the New Testament, but it's not the God of Scripture. Because He never told you He wanted to be worshiped in those ways, and He has told you exactly how He wants to be worshiped, so that if you just invent stuff and say, God, we want to worship you this way, I don't know what God you're worshiping. Just don't Call it the God of Scripture.

He calls it idolatry. Listen to Leviticus 10 verses 1 through 3. This is Nadab and Abihu. Leviticus 10 verses 1 through 3. This is very, very soon after the law had been given to the people of Israel.

Leviticus 10, 1 through 3. Then Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, each took his censer and put fire in it, put incense on it, and offered profane fire before the Lord, which he had not commanded them. So fire went out from the Lord and devoured them, and they died before the Lord. And Moses said to Aaron, This is what the Lord spoke, saying, By those who come near me I must be regarded as holy, and before all the people I must be glorified." So what happens in this text? This is sort of a strange text.

You don't have a lot of this happening. It is not that Nadab and Abihu did something which God said, don't do this. I forbid you from doing this, Nadab and Abihu, but they said, no, we're gonna do it anyway and they did it and so fire came out from heaven and consumed them. That is not what happens in this text. What happens in this text is that They invent something that God had never told them to do in his corporate worship, and they invented it in their brains, and they came to offer it to God, and God said, who told you to do that?

And they were consumed by fire. He killed them for worshiping in a way that he had never told them to do. And then Moses says, here's what God says about this, by those who come near me, I must be regarded as holy. Meaning, if you invent ways to worship me and I never as the object of worship said I want to be worshiped in these ways it's like you're treating me like I'm just one of you. I must be regarded as holy.

I must be regarded as other, as separate from you, as the object of worship who tells you how to worship. You don't tell me how you will worship like I'm one of you. Before all the people, I must be glorified. It glorifies God when we worship Him as He told us to worship Him. So why do we meet on the first day of the week to sing and pray?

Why do we center our services around the preaching of the Word of God? Why do we observe the Lord's Supper weekly? Why do we have meetings dedicated to prayer? Because we think these things are clearly and solidly grounded in New Testament commands and patterns and necessary implications of the things that you do see in the New Testament. And why don't we do what many, many other churches do, like incorporating dramas into our worship service.

Been in that church, been part of those dramas. Or splitting up by age for teaching. Eight-year-olds learn with eight-year-olds. Eleven-year-olds learn with eleven-year-olds. Fifteen-year-olds learn with fifteen-year-olds.

Or what I view as the wackier things like having services where we bless pets. Have you seen those signs? Bring your pet, we're having a service. These are mainline Protestant churches. And so somebody has the idea and somebody from another church says, what a great idea, they're doing that over there.

We should do that over here. Let's have a service where you bring your pet and have your pet blessed and prayed over. Now, if you want to pray over your pet, that's fine. I'm saying, making that a part of corporate worship, the regulatory principle of worship says, you don't have any warrant for doing that. You don't have any warrant for doing that.

You can't find anything like that in the New Testament or anywhere in scripture. Do we flawlessly apply the regulative principle of worship? Probably not. I'm sure we don't. But we're committed to trying.

We've said these are our guardrails and we're trying to do that. We aspire to do that and that keeps us tethered to the New Testament practices. And if you don't tether yourself to the New Testament practices over time you drift as people have great ideas You drift as people have great ideas I Think all my ideas are great. Don't you? Think your ideas are great?

I know you don't think all my ideas are great, but don't you think all your ideas are great? We all think our ideas are great. But the question here for our life together is what has God said? What does the object, how does the object of worship want to be worshiped? Is our worship to please him or to please us?

If it's to please us, that is idolatry. John Knox is right. If it's to please him, we should go to his word and shape ourselves around and restrict ourselves to what his word clearly and solidly puts before us. Does that mean other churches who don't subscribe, by the way most churches do not subscribe to the regulative principle of worship. Most people, that's not even, most churches, that's not even part of their vocabulary.

Most churches haven't even thought it through in those terms. I hadn't into my mid-30s. Does that mean those other churches aren't real churches? No. I participated in churches that weren't even thinking in those terms into my early 30s then I heard that term for the first time.

I don't think that all of my Christianity or all of my church life prior to that point in time in my life is illegitimate. God today is using all sorts of things that aren't right but I don't know that they're not right yet and he's not waiting for everything to be right to work in my life. Praise God! So that's not what we're saying. You're not real unless you agree with me about the regular principle of worship.

Most Christians in America would say the what and God is working in their lives through imperfect means like he's working in my life through imperfect means and I don't despise them But it's one of those things once you see it you can't unsee it. Once you hear it and learn it you can't unhear it and unlearn it. Does that make us better Christians? You know There are so many categories to your walk with the Lord, and this is one of them. We do think it's an important one, but it is possible to be more faithful in this category, and to be worse than everything else.

And we're not saying otherwise, we're just saying in this category, We think this is consistent with scripture We know I know there are better Christians than me in other churches That don't subscribe to this I I freely concede that point But we do think this is important. We do think it's very important and we're committed to seeking to be faithful to the Lord in this way. And we want to work in the other categories so maybe we can catch up with other people in those categories. Okay, that's interesting but what does it have to do with family discipleship point number three? When a church isn't air quotes normal, and I'm talking about us, we're not normal.

When a church isn't air quotes normal, many, many, many of the eggs are in the family discipleship basket. Meaning we're putting, by being different in these fundamental ways, we are putting a lot of weight on family discipleship. So if you subscribe to the regular principle of worship and you apply that in the ways that we're applying that come to the conclusions that we've come to you by necessity end up putting a lot of eggs many of your eggs into the family discipleship basket You put a lot of weight on family discipleship. Okay, let me start by defining normal. All I mean by normal is what are most churches like?

What's an average Sunday in most churches? You drive to church, you're in a car, you're in a minivan, you're in an SUV, you're in a pickup truck. You get there, you park. The family gets out of the car and they go to Sunday school which is in separate places. So the eight-year-old goes to learn with the other eight-year-olds, the 11-year-old goes to learn with the other 11-year-olds, and the 15-year-old goes to learn with the other 15-year-old, and mom and dad might go to separate classes, they might go to the same classes.

You actually could have every member of the family in a different class learning a different thing. Sunday school gets out. You go to big church. Sometimes the younger kids will be with you, sometimes not. Definitely the very little children won't be in a normal church.

And at some point when it gets to be sermon time in most churches, then the younger children will be excused if they're still in the service at that point. They'll be excused to go to children's church where there will be a children's appropriate teaching given to them and then they'll come back in for the end of the service. In the midweek, there's probably a service. That's normally Wednesday night. It's normally church night if you have a midweek service.

Again, this is the night for youth group. Sunday night or Wednesday night is the night for youth group usually. So very small age range. Then at various points of the year, there'll be a ski trip. Other youth will go off on a ski trip.

That's a great idea. A few chaperones with a lot of youth going off-site. What could go wrong? Now what comes from that? What comes from that?

Well, a lot of things do, but some level of instruction comes from that. Okay, so some do better, some do worse, but there is a level of instruction in the Word of God in that system. And connection comes from that, meaning you become connected over time with the people in your Sunday school class, with the people in your age group, you're serving in these programs. These programs take a lot of horsepower, and so there's multiple teachers in the classroom, and you actually get to know those people well. This is, we came up through this system, and that's how we got to know serving alongside other people.

So some level of instruction in the Word of God, some churches do it well, some churches do it poorly, but some level of instruction and some level of connection with other people in church. Is instruction good? Yes. Is connection good? Yes.

Churches exist for instruction and connection. So we've stripped so much of that stuff out of our church life. But that isn't because we think there should be less instruction. Too much instruction in the Word of God, we can't have Sunday school. That was not what led to that conclusion.

We don't think there should be less connection. Oh, too much mingling among the people of God. We have to put a stop to that. Get these programs out of here. We think that God has intended a lot of instruction to happen in the home.

So we actually don't think there should be less instruction. We think there should be more instruction that it should be daily and that it should be owned by the people who have the greatest interest in those children. That's what we think. So more instruction. What about the experts?

We think mom and dad are the experts. We deputize you as an expert. If you want a certificate or a piece of paper that says you're an expert, if that helps you, I'll make you on on Microsoft Word. And a lot of the connection we think ought to happen organically. So, We eat together after our service.

Why do you think that is? Because we're trying to make up for some of the things we've stripped out that we actually can see our God's intended part of local church life, connection oughta happen, but we're not serving together in these programs because we don't have the programs. Okay? What's one thing we can do? Let's be together for a long period on Sundays.

This is why we're doing this. We're making up for something we've lost by not going with that church structure. Why do you think we're doing hospitality challenges? This is one of the things behind a hospitality challenge. For the same reason, and even more importantly, family discipleship is absolutely critical to how we're doing what we're doing.

So the connection, we've said we want that to happen organically, and the instruction, we want to put a lot of weight on family discipleship so that it's not happening just a couple times a week taught by people who have less interest but that is happening essentially every day in the home taught by people who have the greatest interest and the greatest window into the members of the members of the household the people who were actually being taught. Let me tell you a story. Story time with Jason. I almost never do this in preaching. I hate preachers telling personal stories.

They're spending lots of time on telling personal stories, but I'm gonna tell one right now. 25 years ago, Scott Brown started the first family integrated church I had ever heard of, never seen it, never been part of one. And He invited us to come because I had been under his eldership at North Wake Baptist Church and had been in their small group for a long time. We decided to go, but I could tell that Janet had a level of hesitancy. We had been in that church for about 10 years.

So we did have deep roots in that church, but I didn't think that was it. She was being really tight-lipped about it. She wasn't saying, I'm hesitant. I was just sensing hesitancy, which it must have been a lot of hesitancy because my radar is not the best on these kind of things. That's not funny.

She wasn't speaking about her hesitancy, but she was clearly hesitant. And finally, I probed and finally she said, Okay, I'm afraid we'll lose what we do have. And it won't be replaced by anything. Scott's talking about all the things that need to happen in the home and I can't say with complete confidence that I know you'll do that. Oh, fair.

That came out of her knowledge of me. So that actually helped me, that conversation helped me a lot because then you have to, you have to then talk about putting the responsibility, hanging it right around your neck and you having to wear it. That was the moment for me that really put the responsibility around my neck. And what she was saying was, I'm afraid we'll lose something for nothing. The church we're in might have flaws, might not be organized in the optimal way, but we do have these avenues for instruction for ourselves and for our kids, and we do have these avenues for connection and we need both and I'm afraid if we strip all these things out, I'm afraid this might be good on paper but bad for us.

Because we'll replace something with nothing. An imperfect something is often better than nothing. That is a risk. You come to our church and dads won't accept the challenge for family discipleship and gather whoever is under that roof around the word of God to worship God and to pray together and to have some instruction and to help prioritize organically connecting with other people in the church, and you've given up something and replaced it with nothing. And shame on you and shame on me.

Another risk, it's really saying the same thing, but another risk is that our church structure could be great for someone who wants to be casual about their faith in the local church. Our church structure would be ideal for someone who wants to be casual about their faith and the local church. What do you mean? You don't do much? Awesome!

I don't want to do much! You don't have all these programs? Good. They were running me ragged down the street with all those programs and I'm happy to give those up. Oh, but then replace it with nothing because you know what I think I'd rather be more casual about this whole Christian thing.

We are not here for that. We are not structured this way for that. Let me say now what I've said before. When I said it before, the man I said it to was gone within a year. If you go to a church that doesn't do very much, that's our church, we don't do very much, compared to other churches.

If you look at the list of things we do, the programs that we have, if you go to a church that doesn't do very much and you don't do very much of what that church does, you're probably at the wrong church. We don't do very much. If you don't do very much, the little that we do, this probably is not the right place because you've probably replaced something with nothing. When you are part of Sovereign Redeemer, the expectation is that you do most of what we do. I'm not saying you're in the penalty box if you don't do everything that we do.

So don't hear what I'm not saying, hear what I am saying. When you're a sovereign redeemer, the expectation is that you do most of what we do because we don't do a lot and that you prioritize family discipleship period. This is the only way this church is going to work for you is if you do most of the little that we do and you prioritize family discipleship. I'm not trying to drive anyone out by saying these things. I know it sounds like I am.

I'm trying to draw everyone in for your own spiritual prosperity. I do not think you can prosper spiritually in this church without doing much of what we do. Marty's softening the language. I went from most to much. Much of what we do and prioritizing family discipleship.

I do not think you can prosper spiritually here if you don't do those two things. So we have a lot of eggs in the family discipleship basket. We're not betting on a lot of different things and spreading out our investment. We're betting on a very few things and concentrating our investment. So if you say, yeah I'll probably skip one of one of those few things, I don't think this cannot work for you.

It only works if you commit to those things. Point number four. What healthy family discipleship can look like? Does it always look like this? No, that's why I said can look like.

I know different families have done it successfully in different ways. But let me say a few things about what healthy family discipleship can look like. First, dads, you own it. What does Deuteronomy 6 say? Dad, you own it.

What does Psalm 78 say? Dad, you own it. What does Ephesians 6 say? Dad, you own it. You can't find another message in Scripture.

You own it. Does mom play a key, key part in this? Does mom have the most hours to do a lot in this category? Yes, yes, but who owns it? Dad, you own it.

You cannot give the responsibility to someone else. You might delegate some of it being done to others and of course you do this all talking with your wife you're not doing this unilaterally you're you're working these things together of course but dad you own it dad this is your finest hour trust me when the heavy liftings done and none of your kids live with you anymore, that's my new state. That's my new status. If you've committed to this, You'll be so glad you committed to it and that you did it. I'm not sorry for a nanosecond that we made these commitments 25 years ago.

I'm sorry I didn't do it better. Commit to it more. Do it more rigorously. I would go down this track again in a nanosecond. If I knew all that I knew now and could go back to that point in time, I would get on the same track and I would try to be more faithful on that track.

That's what I would do. Next, this can't get the leftovers. Okay. We want to do all these things. We start doing all these things.

The daughter does this, the son does that, the other daughter does this, the son does that. And there will be a sliver of time and we're going to do family discipleship in this sliver of time. This is a recipe for a failure. This is not how it works. This cannot get the leftovers.

You have to make this the immovable rock in your schedule. So I don't know where it belongs in your schedule but if you do I don't think you can I don't think you can succeed unless you have a consistent time that you've said this is our time and we're protecting it and this is the immovable rock in our schedule and whatever else we decide to do is going to rotate around this not vice versa? Next, tie this together with something else that your family does together every day. For us it was dinner time. So especially as time passed and our children got older, the moving parts get more complex, there's more people coming and going, but it was almost always dinner together.

So we tied it to dinner, because whatever else happened, we were really likely to all be together for dinner and so my experience is if dinner ends and you let people scatter the regathering process is too onerous and painful to be successful as often as you need to be successful. So often we didn't even deal with dishes or putting food away. Some often we did but often we didn't. Okay And we went straight to this. Okay, so we married it up with something else that was going to happen.

And what happens when you do that is that it gets really hard to skip days. Because then your children are looking at you cross-eyed like this is I thought this was our pattern and We're done with dinner and now we're not going to do this and so it builds in the expectation And even an anti with you're doing it, right? People more often than not like it and desire it and anticipate it. What does it look like? In our family, it looked like 15 or 20 minutes.

Some days 10. Okay, so we're not talking about replicating what we're doing on Sunday morning in my living room every night of the week. Talk about provoking your children to wrath. Do not do that. We're talking about 15 minutes of opening up the Bible and maybe singing, but definitely reading.

Our practice was you read around a verse at a time and it was almost always a chapter and when you're out of verses then you stop going round and round and this became a powerful incentive for our children to learn to read because they were irritated that they could not have a turn in the reading around. Sorry, you're illiterate. What do you want us to do? But it made them want to read and press to learn to read fast because they wanted their turn in the circle. Okay, so there are fringe benefits.

And then we would pray around. So we read around to Radaverses and then we we pray around. And a child could pass occasionally. But generally they didn't. Generally it was their turn and they pray.

They're learning to pray. They're learning to hear instruction. And they're just getting a little bit every day, a little bit, and it's building. It's you're laying a brick every day to build a beautiful, wonderful structure. Just every day, lay the brick.

Okay, Put the brick down on top of the brick that you laid yesterday, on top of the brick that you laid yesterday, and a beautiful building begins, a beautiful structure begins to emerge from that. And what does it look like? Here's what I have in my notes. How long, how snugly? So how?

That's what you do. You open up the Bible and you read a chapter or half a chapter or a passage and you talk about it. And they ask you questions you can't answer and you tell them you'll get back to them and then hopefully you get back to them. But you offer your thoughts on the text. Even little ones are offering thoughts on the text and they're learning to talk about the most important thing in life which is what has God said and what what what hope is there for sinners okay day by day how long 15 minutes how snugly very snugly it should be I think the most precious, tender moments of the day.

Now there's going to be some get-still. Stop jabbering. There's going to be some of that. And part of that is training for Sunday when it's going to be longer. Okay?

So how can kids sit through on Sunday? Well, let's train them every day, you know? So they can sit mostly still and mostly quiet. Our kids are remarkable because they've been down this track. I can tell they are in training during the week, but very snugly time.

You should have them on your lap up close. They should have, when they think in decades to come, think about the times sitting around with family. They should have not just Memories like you could read in text. But they should have a feeling about what that time was like. That's what you're after.

Like, this was the sweetest time. I don't remember the contents of any one of those 20 years of family worship times, but man, I remember I used to just be on Dad's lap or be on Mom's lap, and we would laugh, and we would, this is the memories you want your children to have. Now, what if your life isn't ordered to be able to do this? Simple, change your life. Change your life.

But we'd have to quit. I don't care. The claims of the gospel are radical claims. And when we start saying, but we couldn't do, we've lost sight that the claims of the gospel are radical. I'm talking about the most important thing in life and I'm saying the most important thing in life should be the immovable rock in your schedule.

I've said nothing controversial. Matches up super great with the New Testament and the Old Testament and all of scripture. So I offer no apology in calling any of us to these things. So that's it. Point number one, we believe that the Scripture clearly gives the primary role of evangelizing and then discipling parents to children.

Point number two, our church practices are informed by the regulator principle of worship. That's why we do what we do and that's why we don't do what we're not doing. Point number three, our church has very intentionally put many of the eggs in the disciples family discipleship basket. We were very intentional about doing that. Oh so much weight is there.

This is only going to work if we commit to that. Point number four, some thoughts on what healthy family discipleship can look like. God, thank you for giving me parents that had some sense of this, that did this to a certain extent. Thank you for giving Janet and I convictions about these things so early on in our parenting life. Thank you for not waiting to reveal these things to us until our children were teenagers and so much water had been under the bridge.

Thank you that it was the early years. I pray that our children would be able to stand on our shoulders and go further than we ever went, maybe further than we ever imagined. Thank you for Jesus. We don't want to just do what there's a counterpart for in every other religion in the world. We want to bring our children to a living Savior and teach them to enjoy him and to know him and to walk with him.

Give us grace we pray in Jesus name amen.